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ARAMINTA

BY

J. C. SNAITH

Author of "William Jordan, Junior," '* Broke

OF COVENDEN," EtC.

NEW YORK
MOFFAT, YARD AND COMPANY

1009

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^(fil

COPTBIOHT« 1906, 1909, BT

THE FORUM PUBLISHINQ COMPANY

COPTSIOHT, 1909, BT

MOFFAT, YARD AND COMPANY
Nkw Yobk

Pobliihed. Fcbniuy, 1900

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CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGE

I. The Old Woman op Hill Street 1

II. The Idea Which Came to Her . 9

III. Lord Cheriton Looks In ... 22

IV. Arrival of the First Cause op All

Romance 38

V. The Instinct op Mr. Marchbanks Be-
trays Him 48

VI. Unwarrantable Behavior of Tobias 66

VII. A Throwback 80

VIII. " Caroline Crewkerne's Gainsbor-
ough " 98

IX. In Which Cheriton Drops His Um-
brella 108

X. Jim Lascelles Makes His Appearance 119

XI. Miss Perry is the Soul op Discretion 140

XII. Jim Lascelles Takes a Decisive Step 151

XIII. High Revel is Held in Hill Street l6l

XIV. Ungentlemanlike Behavior op Jim

Lascelles . . . . . .171

XV. Diplomacy is Called For . . .193

XVI. Hyde Park 200

XVII. Development of the Female Us . 213

XVIII. Fashion Comes to the Acacias . . 226

XIX. A Social Triumph 243

XX. Miss Perry Has Her Palm Crossed

with Silver 256

XXI. High Diplomacy 267

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VI

CONTENTS

XXII.
XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.
XXVI.

XXVII.

XXVIII.

XXIX.

XXX.

XXXI.

XXXII.

XXXIII.

Pi

A Conversation at Ward's . 2
Muffin Makes Her Appearance at

Pen-y-Gros Castle ... 2;
Episode op a French Novel and

A Red Umbrella . . . . 3i

Paris on Mount Ida .... 3:
Jim Lascelles Adds Heroism to

His Other Fine Qualities . . 3:

Revel is Held at Pen-y-Gros Castle S'

A Thunderbolt 3{

Jim Lascelles Writes His Name in

THE Visitors' Book . . . .3'

GOOD-BY 3)

Disintegration 3j

Barnb Moor 4(

Everything for the Best in the

Best of All Possible Worlds . 4;]

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ARAMINTA

CHAPTER I

THE OliD WOMAN OF IHILL STREET

AN old lady who lived in Hill Street was making
jLjL arrangements to enter upon her seventy-fourth
year.

It was a quarter to nine in the morning by the
ormolu clock on the chimney-piece; and the old lady,
somewhat shriveled, very wide-awake, and in the ab-
sence of her toupee from the position it was accus-
tomed to grace — at present it was in the center of
the dressing-table — ^looking remarkably like a macaw,
was sitting up in bed. Cushions supported her ven-
erable form, and an Indian shawl, the gift of her
Sovereign, covered her aged shoulders.

There were people who did not hesitate to describe
her as a very worldly-minded, not to say very wicked,
old lady. The former of these epithets there is none
to dispute; in regard to the latter, let our silence
honor the truth. It is far from our intention to
asperse the character of one who- has always passed
as a Christian ; nor do we ascribe to human frailty
the sinister significance that some people do. But as

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.$.::..: i : : . ARAMINTA

far as this old lady is concerned it is a point upo
which we have no bigotry.

If sheer worldliness of mind is akin to wickednesi
the old woman who lived in Hill Street must ha\
come perilously near to that state* Her views upo
all matters relating to this world were extremely re
bust, and years and experience had confirmed her i:
them. In regard to the next world she seldom ex
pressed an opinion. In this she was doubtless wise
Sitting very upright in her bed, with those glittering
eyes and hawk-Uke features the unmistakable mistres
of all they surveyed, she was enough to strike th
boldest heart with awe. Not that temerity was th
long suit of Miss Burden, a gentlewoman of a certaii
age whose sole mission in life it was to do her goo(
will and pleasure in return for board and residence
and forty pounds per annum paid quarterly.

Duly fortified with a slice of dry toast and a cuj
of very strong tea, the old lady said in such a cleai
and incisive tone that she must have studied the ari
of elocution in the days of her youth —

" Burden, cover my head."

The gentlewoman obeyed the command with deli*
cacy and with dexterity. Yet it must not be thoughl
that the elaborate mechanism which adorned the ven-
erable poll fourteen hours out of the twenty-four was
taken from the center of the dressing-table. It was
not. Various ceremonies had to be performed before
the moment arrived for its reception. In its place a
temporary, but none the less marvelous, erection of
fine needlework and point lace was produced by Miss

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THE OLD WOMAN OF HILL STREET 8

Burden, and arranged like a veritable canopy about
the brow of Minerva.

" Admit Marchbanks," said the voice from the bed.

The door opened and that personage was ushered
in. Mr. Marchbanks merits a description quite as
much as his mistress. Yet how to do justice to him,
that is the problem. The poise of his bearing, his
urbane reserve, his patrician demeanor were those of
an ambassador. His whole being was enveloped in an
air of high diplomacy. His most trivial action
seemed to raise the ghost of Lord John Russell. Like
his venerable mistress, he was a Whig to the core.
He had been bom, he had been bred, and by the grace
of Grod he was determined to die in that tradition.

Under the left arm of Mr. Marchbanks was the
Morning Post^ which organ of opinion had been
warmed by his own hands. In his right hand he bore
a small silver dish. Upon it was a little pile of rather
important-looking correspondence.

With the courtly grace of a bygone age, Mr,
Marchbanks bowed to the occupant of the four-
poster — old ladies who live in Hill Street do not put
their faith in new furniture — and his venerable mis-
tress was pleased to say —

" Good morning, Marchbanks."

" Good morning, my lady," said Mr. Marchbanks
very gravely; and then said he with a benevolence
that would have made a considerable fortune in Har-
ley Street : " I trust your ladyship has slept well."

** As well as one can expect at my age," said the
occupant of the four-poster.

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4 ARAMINTA

No, Mr. Marchbanks did not olBTer his venerable
mistress many happy returns of her birthday. And
to those of our readers who aspire to serve old ladies
who live in Hill Street — and let us not be judged
immodest if we express the belief that many who are
inspired with this excellent ambition will be found
among them — a word of warning may not be out of
place. Let us urge these neophytes not to take the
practice of Mr. Marchbanks for their guide. His
eminence was the fruit of years. Remember he had
been tipped by the Duke of Wellington. He had
pulled down the coat collar of Lord Palmerston on
more than one occasion; while as for Lord Gran-
ville, he knew him as well as he knew his own father.

" How is Ponto this morning.'' " inquired the occu-
pant of the four-poster.

" In excellent spirits, my lady."

" And his appetite? "

" He has eaten a chicken, my lady, with excellent
reUsh.''

" Humph," said the occupant of the four-poster,
" that dog eats as much as a Christian."

In the opinion of Mr. Marchbanks Ponto ate more,
but he did not say so. He was content merely to
bow and withdraw with simple yet ample dignity.
The old lady read her letters and glanced at the
Court Circular, the Parliamentary Report, and the
Money Market. She then announced her intention
of getting up. Over the divers things incident to this
complex process it is doubtless well to draw the veil.
Let it suffice that an hour and a half later she reached

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THE OLD WOMAN OF HILL STREET 6

her morning-room, a veritable dragon in black silk
and a brown wig, leaning on an ebony walking-
stick.

The normal condition of her temper was severe.
" Acidulated to the verge of the morose," said those
who had particular cause to respect it. A consider-
able, not to say representative body they were. On
this wet morning of the early spring, this seventy-
third annual conmiemoration of the most pregnant
fact of her experience, her temper was so positively
formidable that it smote the officers of her household
with a feeling akin to dismay.

Various causes had contributed to the state of the
barometer. For one thing that impertinent fellow
Cheriton had issued his annual persiflage upon the
subject of her birthday. It fell, it appeared, upon
the first of April; a stroke of irony, in Cheriton's
opinion, for which she had never quite been able to
forgive her Creator. Then, again, if you came to think
of it, what had existence to offer an old woman who
had so long outlived her youth; who had neither kith
nor kin of her own ; who bored her friends ; who ren-
dered her dependents miserable; who was unable to
take exercise ; who distrusted doctors and despised the
clergy: a praiser of past times who considered the
present age all that it ought not to be?

Why should this old lady be in a good humor on
her seventy-third birthday? She was a nuisance to
everybody, including herself. She was a vain and
selfish old woman, as all the world knew. Yet even
she had her points. Everybody has to have points of

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6 ARAMINTA

some kind, else they would never be allowed to per-
sist — ^particularly to their seventy-fourth year.

For one thing she was good to her pug. Upon that
extraordinarily repulsive and overfed animal she
lavished a great deal of affection. Yet mark the in-
gratitude of the canine race. How did that mis-
shapen, dumb, soulless, pampered beast, whose figure-
head was like a gargoyle, and whose eyes were so
swollen with baked meats that they could scarcely
revolve, requite the constant care and caresses of his
mistress? Why, by getting fat. There could be no
doubt about it that Ponto was getting fat.

Almost the first thing the old woman did upon
what was destined to prove one of the most memorable
days of a long and not particularly useful life, was to
issue an edict. It was to the effect that Jonn, the
second footman, was to exercise Ponto for an hour
every morning in Hyde Park. The manner in which
John, who himself consumed more than was good for
a human being, received the edict is no concern of
Ours.

It was about a quarter to two — at least it was get-
ting near luncheon-time — that the rare event hap-
pened from which springs the germ of this history.
How it came to pass will never be known. It is a
problem to baffle the most learned doctors and the
most expert psychologists. For at about a quarter
to two, just as Miss Burden had returned from a
visit to the circulating library, the occurrence hap-
pened. The old lady of Hill Street was visited by
an Idea. To be sure it did not reveal itself imme-

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THE OLD WOMAN OF HILL STREET 7

diately in that crude and startling guise. It had its
processes to go through, like a cosmos or a tadpole,
or any other natural phenomenon that burgeons into
entity. The evolutions by which it attained to its
fullness were in this wise.

"Where have you been, Burden?" said the old
lady, fixing a cold eye upon the abashed blue-backed
volume under the arm of her gentlewoman.

" I have been changing a novel at Mudie's," said
Miss Bui^den.

" The usual rubbish, I suppose," said the old
woman, giving a grim turn to her countenance, which
rendered that frontispiece an admirable composite of
a hawk and a hanging judge.

" Lord Cheriton said it was the best novel he had
read for years," said Miss Burden with the gentle air
of one who reveres authority.

" Humph," said the old lady. " Whatever Cheri-
ton is, he has taste at least. Give it to me."

Miss Burden handed the blue-backed volume to
her mistress. The old lady opened it warily, lest she
should come too abruptly upon a fine moral senti-
ment.

*'Man uses good English," she said suspiciously.
" Reminds one of the man Disraeli before he made a
fool of himself in politics."

The next thing that Miss Burden was aware of was
that the old lady was fast asleep.

When Mr. Marchbanks came a few minutes later
to announce that luncheon was ready, his mistress,
with the blue-backed voliune in her lap, was snoring

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8 ARAMINTA

lustily. An anxious consultation followed. Her
ladyship had, not missed her luncheon for seventy-
three years.

The far-seeing wisdom of Miss Burden — doubtless
due in some measure to her pure taste in English
fiction — ^was allowed to prevail. The state of the old
woman's temper could not possibly be worse than it
had been that morning if the sim was to remain faith-
ful to the firmament. If she slept undisturbed it
might conceivably be better.

Miss Burden was justified of her wisdom. The old
lady missed her limcheon for the first time in seventy-
three years. Ideas come to us fasting; and that is
the only explanation there is to offer of how her
Idea came to be bom.

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CHAPTER n

THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER

IT was a quarter to three when the old woman
awoke. She was alone save for Ponto, her fdus
Achatesy who was snoring in front of the fire with
his tail curled up in the most ridiculous manner.
And yet she was not alone, for there is reason to
beKeve that her Idea was already bom in her. There
can be little doubt that the Idea had sprung into
being, even before she had time to %um, which she
did almost immediately, to the half -pint of claret
and the plate of goose liver pie that Miss Burden
and Mr. Marchbanks in consultation had caused to
be laid beside her.

Now do not suppose that the Idea was proclaimed
forthwith in its meridian splendor. Nothing of the
kind. It was still in its infancy. It had to be
shaped and reshaped, to be dandled and cosseted,
to be bom and bom again in the dim recesses of the
mind, before it gathered the requisite force to issue
as it were from the armory of Minerva.

At four o'clock precisely it was the custom of this
old lady, if the light and the British climate per-
mitted, to drive the whole length of Bond Street and
once round Hyde Park.

At that hour the sky having cleared sufficiently

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10 ARAMINTA

for the sun to make a tardy and shamefaced app(
ance, the old lady, accompanied by her fait!
gentlewoman and her somnolent four-footed be
entered the equipage that was drawn up before
door.

It was an extraordinary vehicle. It had yel
wheels and a curious round body, which, according
scale, was very nearly as fat as Ponto's. It '
perched up on very high springs, and was in
forefront of the fashion about the year 1841.

Mr, Bryant and Mr. Gregory, who shared
box-seat, would doubtless have been in the f oref i
of the fashion about the same period. Their br
backs, their box-cloth, the shape and texture of t]
hats and the angle at which they wore them uni
takably belonged to a very early period of thewor
history. No, they did not wear side whiskers,
don't know why. Perhaps it was that side whisl
were either a little in front or a little behind
mode in 1841. But it is enough that Mr. Bry
and Mr. Gregory did not wear them. And had i
worn them, had the present biographer had res
for one single moment to suspect that Messrs. Brj
and Gregory had been in possession of these app<
ages, he would have given up this history. Re
the line has to be drawn somewhere.

The progress along Bond Street was at the rat
two miles an hour. The horses. Castor and Po
by name, were very fat and very somnolent,
yellow chariot was very unwieldy, and in the '.
guage of Constable X, who touched his helmel

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THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER 11

the comer of Hanover Square, " it took up a deal o'
room." None the less the progress of the vehicle
was almost royal.

The old lady sat very upright in the center of the
best seat, which she had all to herself. With a nose
of the Wellington pattern and a chin to match, dis-
played under a canopy of feathers, she looked more
like a macaw than ever. Miss Burden, in charge of
Ponto and a pair of folders with a tortoiseshell
handle, was seated opposite at a more modest eleva-
tion.

Every member of the male sex whom this redoubt-
able veteran chanced to meet, who had the. good for-
tune to wear his clothes with a sufficient air of dis-
tinction, received a bow from her ; and in return she
was the recipient of some highly elaborate and
wholly inimitable courtesies. With these she ranked
as " an agreeable old woman."

With the members of the other sex, which socially
the more critical, who seated in their barouches, their
victorias, their broughams, and their motors, who
inclined their own distinguished heads from under
their own barbaric canopies, yet with no vain striv-
ings in the direction of effusiveness, she was greeted
with a half-veiled hostility of the eyelids, and a
whispered, " There goes that old cat."

We offer no opinion on the justice or the taste of
the remark. We claim no learning in feminology.
Why these ladies, each of whom vied with the other
in the propagation of good works, each of whom was
an honored patroness of more than one institution

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12 ARAMINTA

for the amelioration of the human race, should apply
such a figure of speech to one who was old and vener-
able it is not for us to conjecture.

Did they refer to the quantity of feathers she was
wearing upon her helmet? If so, since April 1, 18S-,
she had caused many a beautiful and harmless bird
to be destroyed. But then they themselves were
wearing similar great canopies of feathers. Did they
refer to her features? We think not, for although
her nose was shaped like a talon of a bird of prey,
they were not conspicuously feline. Perhaps it was
that they referred to her personal character. At any
rate they are known to be high authorities upon such
a matter as the human character, and as a rule are
very searching in their judgments. Certainly the
old lady proceeding along Bond Street in her yel-
low chariot at the rate of two miles an hour had done
a fair amount of mischief in her time ; and if health
and strength continued to be vouchsafed to her by
an All-wise Creator, before she died she hoped to do
a good deal more.

In her own little corner of her own little parish
no old lady was more respected. Where she was not
respected she was feared, and where she was neither
respected nor feared she was very heartily hated. Of
one thing we are sure. There was not a living crea-
ture who loved her, unless it was Ponto, who being a
creature without a soul was denied the consolations of
religion.

We don't believe for a moment that Miss Burden
loved her. She had caused her faithful gentlewoman,

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THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER 18

who in the space of twenty years had given all she
had had of youth, beauty, and gayety in return for
board and residence and forty pounds per annum,
paid quarterly, to weep too many tears in the pri-
vacy of her chamber for such a sacred emotion as
love to requite her persecutor. Yet it is far from
our intention to dogmatize upon the female heart.
If we do we are sure to be wrong. That complex and
wonderful mechanism has defeated us too often.
Therefore it is possible that Miss Burden hugged her
chains to her bosom and lavished the poetry pent up
in her soul upon the hand that chastened her. We
say it is possible, but we protest that it is hardly
likely. Yet do not let us express a positive opinion
upon the emotional apparatus of even Miss Burden,
who, whatever else she might be, was a woman and a
gentlewoman and the thirteenth daughter of a rural
dean.

It is really no use trying to hide the fact that the
old lady in the yellow chariot had in the course of her
seventy-three summers wrought a great deal of
misery and unhappiness among her fellow-creatures.
Nobody's reputation was safe in her keeping. She
never said a kind word of anybody if she could pos-
sibly help it ; and although she may have done good
by stealth she very seldom did it in the light of day.
Yet there can be little doubt that Ponto loved her in
his dumb way, and there is every reason to believe
that Mr. Marchbanks respected her immensely.

Proceeding along Bond Street with her Idea — she
had not forgotten it, and you must not forget it

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14 ARAMINTA

either — she continued to evolve that mysterious phan-
tasm in the grim purlieus of her hard yet not capa-
cious mind. Sitting very upright in the center of her
yellow chariot, bleakly indifferent to those who did
not interest her, and coldly overlooking those who did,
this old woman in her marvelous equipage had come
almost alongside the little shop on the left going to-
wards Piccadilly where you can get the nicest silk hat
in London, of which we forget the name, when she
beheld an apparition.

It was a Hat. It was of gray felt with a dent in
the middle and rather wide in the brims, of the variety
which is called a Homburg because it is worn at
Cannes. Round this article of masculine attire, in
itself su£Sciently bizarre, was what is technically
known as " a Guards' ribbon." Those who are ac-
quainted with the merits of this decorative emblem
wiD not thank us for describing them ; while those who
are not will be unable to appreciate the special tex-
ture of their excellence from a mere categorical state-
ment. Let it suffice that the old lady in the yellow
chariot beheld a Homburg hat with a Guards' rib-
bon approaching at the rate of one mile an hour.

Now there was only one individual, not in London
only, but in the whole of what at that time ranked as
the civilized world (circa 190-), who by any concat-
enation of events could possibly be seen walking in
Bond Street in a Homburg hat with a Guards' ribbon
on April the first. Messrs. Bryant and Gregory knew
that quite as well as their mistress. Therefore, quite
naturally and properly, the yellow chariot came to a

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THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER 16

stand automatically, just as the Hat came to a stand
also, immediately opposite the coat of arms on the
near side panel of this wonderful equipage, which it-
self was immediately opposite the little shop where
you can get the nicest silk hat in London.

We wish our readers could have seen the manner in
which Mr. Bryant and Mr. Gregory each removed his
own headgear (circa 1841), in an act of homage to
the Hat of Hats. We feel sure it would have recon-
ciled them to a number of things they are likely to
find in this history.

" How d'ye do, George? '* said the old lady.

Now that form of salutation may mean much or it
may mean little. With the occupant of the yellow
chariot it meant the former. She only said, " How
d'ye do? *' to the highest branch of the peerage.

" How d'ye do, George? " said the occupant of the
yellow chariot.

" Pooty well for an old 'un," said the owner of the
Hat in a gruff, fat voice.

**How old are you?" said the occupant of the
chariot.

** Nearly as old as you," said the Hatted one. Then
said he with slow and gruff solemnity : " Many happy
returns of your birthday, Caroline. It is a great
pleasure to see you looking so well."

** Thank you, Greorge," said the old lady with
formidable politeness. ^^ Regular habits and a good
conscience are worth something when you get past
seventy."

George Betterton, Duke of Brancaster, began to

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16 ARAMINTA

gobble like a turkey. He was a heavy- jowled, purp
faced, apoplectic-looking individual, rather wide
stature and extremely short in the neck. So f amo
was he for his powers of emulation of the pride of t
farmyard, that he went by the name of " Gobc
among his friends. As his habits were not so regul
and his conscience was not so chaste as they mig
have been, Greorge Betterton grew redder in the jo
than ever, and rolled his full-blooded eyes at the c
cupant of the yellow chariot.

"Something been crossing you, Caroline.'^" i
quired her old crony, in his heavy, slow-witted wa

" Yes and no," said the occupant of the chari
with that bluntness of speech in which none excell
her. " Ponto is getting fat, and Burden is gettii
tiresome, and Cheriton has been insolent, and I e
tired of life; but I intend to hold on some time y
just to spite people. It is all the better for the woi
to have an old nuisance or two in it."

This philanthropic resolution did not appear
arouse as much enthusiasm in George Betterton
perhaps it ought to have done. All the same he w
very polite in his gruff, stolid, John Bull manner.

" Glad to hear it, Caroline," said he. " We shou
never get on, you know, without your old standards

" Rubbish," said the old lady robustly. " Y<
would only be too pleased to. But you won't at pre
ent, so make your mind easy."

The occupant of the yellow chariot flung up h
nostrils as if to challenge high heaven with a snuff <
60om.

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THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER 17

'* What are you doing in London? " said the old
lady. " That woman is at Biarritz, they tell me."

Greorge Betterton pondered a moment and measured
his old friend with his full-blooded eye.

** Fve come up to judge the dog show," said he.

'* Oh, is there a dog show? " said the old lady, upon
a note of interest she seldom achieved. " When is
it?"

" A week a' Toosday," said the owner of the hat.

We apologize to our readers, but if you belong to
the highest branch of the peerage you have no need
to be the slave of grammar.

" If I send Ponto," said the old lady, " will you
guarantee him a prize? "

" First prize," said her old friend.

'* Look at him well so that you will know him again.
Burden, let the Dook look at Ponto."

*' I've seen him so often," said George Betterton
plaintively, as that overfed quadruped leered at him
biliously. " He's a ducky little dog."

" Don't forget that American creature that Tow-
caster married has the effrontery to have one just
like him. If you confuse him with hers I shall not
forgive you."

** Better tie a piece o' bloo ribbon round his tail,"
said George.

His grace of Brancaster turned upon his heel.

'* Remember my Wednesday," the old lady called
after him in stentorian tones.

Whether George Betterton heard her or whether
he did not it is doubtless well not to inquire. It is

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18 ARAMINTA

rather a failing with high personages that thej
apt to be afllicted with a sudden and unaccoun
deafness. The old lady's voice could be heard a
other side of Bond Street, but her old acquaint
made no sign whatever that it had penetrated to

The yellow chariot moved on. Its occupant, 1
ing exceedingly grim, and more than ever like a i
gon or a dragon bom out of due time, immedia
proceeded to cut dead the inoffensive widow <
Baron in Equity who with her two pretty daugh
was driving to the Grosvenor Galleries.

If there were those who could be deaf to her, t]
were also those to whom she could be blind. Tl
can be no doubt that during the course of her L
life she had had things far more her own way thai
good for any human creature. But there were i
those who were beginning openly to rebel from
despotic sway. George Betterton was not the o
person who of late had been afilicted with deafness

All the same, if the aspect of this old woman mei
€uiything it was that its possessor had to be reckoi
with. It had often been remarked by those of 1
friends who followed " the fancy," that in cerii
aspects it bore a striking resemblance to that of
eminent pugilist. It was a very tight and hard a:
arbitrary mouth, and a general demeanor of pc
fectly ruthless sarcasm that returned to Hill Stre
at a quarter to five. The rebels must be brought
heel.

The redoubtable Caroline had been home about £
hour, when suddenly, without any sort of warninj

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THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HEE 19

the Idea assumed an actual and visible guise. She
was in the middle of a game of piquet, a daily exer-
cise, Sundays excepted, in which she showed the
greatest proficiency, which generally ended in the
almost total annihilation of her adversary. Having
'' rubiconed " her gentlewoman, and having mulcted
her in the sum of two shillings which Miss Burden
could ill afford to lose, her Idea burst from its shell
and walked abroad.

" Burden," said the old lady, " do you remember
the name of the person that was married by my sister
Polly?"

Miss Burden was so much startled by the question
that she could not answer immediately. Not only was
its abruptness highly disconcerting, but its nature
was even more so. It dealt with one outside the pale.

** Per-Perring — Perkins," floundered Miss Burden.
It was a name never mentioned in Hill Street upon
any pretext whatever.

" Look it up in Waif ord."

Miss Burden consulted that invaluable work of
reference. With some difiiculty and many misgivings
she was presently able to disinter the f oDowing : —

Perry AloysiuS;. clerk in holy orders, master of
arts. Eldest surviving son of Reverend John Til-
lotson Perry and Maria, 2nd daughter of Mon-
tague Hawley esquire. Bom 1842. Married
Mary Augusta, younger daughter of Charles
William Wargrave, third duke of Dorset, and
Caroline daughter of 6th marquis of Twicken-
ham. Incumbent, of Saint Euthanasius Slocum

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20 ARAMINTA

Magna and perpetual curate of Widdif ord par
church. Heir S., Richard Aloysius Wargr«
Perry, clerk in holy orders, bachelor of arts. A
dress, The Parsonage Slocum Magna, Noi
Devon,

When the old lady had been duly acquainted
these facts she knitted her brows, pondered de
and said " Humph ! " A pause followed, and th
look of resolution settled upon her grim countena

" Burden," said she, " I am going to try an exj
ment. I shall write to that man."

In that apparently simple sentence was embo
the old lady's Idea in the fullness of its splendor,
the first time in her life or in his she deignec
recognize the existence of the Reverend Aloy
Perry.

The recognition duly dictated to the gentlewoi
assumed the following shape : —

" The Countess of Crewkeme presents he
compliments to the Reverend Perry, Lad
Crewkeme wttl he pleased to adopt a girl of he
late s%ster*s. Lady Crewkeme would suggest i\
the event of this course being agreeable to th
Reverend Perry^ that the most refined and man
nerly of her late sister*s children be forwardei
to her,'*

" Gret my spectacles, Burden," said the old worn
grimly. " I will read it myself."

It is perhaps too much to say that a tear stood

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I

THE IDEA WHICH CAME TO HER 21

the kind eyes of the gentlewoman when she rose to
obey this behest. But certainly a long-drawn sigh
escaped her, and the beating of her heart was quick-
ened. The coming of a third person would at least
help to relieve the tedium of that establishment.

The old woman read her letter with patience and
with cynicism.

" It will serve," said she. " Send it immediately."
And then, as they say in the best fiction, a strange
thing happened. The most natural and becoming
course for Miss Burden to take was to ring the bell,
in order that this curious document might be dis-
patched by a servant. But she did not do this. In
her own person Miss Burden went forth of the room,
and without waiting to put on her hat she passed out
at the hall door, and with her own hand dropped the
letter in the pillar-box opposite.

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CHAPTER m

liOKD CHEBITON LOOKS IN

THREE days later there was delivered in Hill
Street a letter bearing the west-country post-
mark. It was written in narrow, upright characters,
which seemed to bear a shade of defiance in them. The
envelope was inscribed with some formality to the
Right Honorable the Countess of Crewkerne, yet its
shape was unfashionable, the paper was of inferior
quality, and was innocent of any sort of adornment.

When this document was borne upon the silver dish
by Mr. Marchbanks to the chamber of his aged mis-
tress, and delivered to her in the sanctity of her four-
poster, there was a sUght flicker of the eyelids of that
elderly diplomatist. It was as though with the flair
that always distinguished him, he had come to divine
that a great event was in the air.

The conduct of his mistress added weight to this
theory. No sooner did she observe this commonplace
missive to be nestling among those more ornate com-
munications emanating, as Mr. Marchbanks knew
perfectly well, from dukes and marquises and earls,
and the ladies of dukes and marquises and earls, than
she swooped down upon it for all the world as some
old eagle might have done with outstretched talon.
She read as follows : —

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 28

The Revd Alot/sius Perry has the honor to
present his compliments to the Cotmtess of
Crewkerne^ and begs to say in response to her
request that he is forwarding to-morrow {Tues-
day) per passenger tram^ his second daughter
Araminta, who in his humble judgment is the
most attractive of those with which it has
pleased Providence to endow him.

The old lady, propped up in her four-poster, hon-
ored this comniunication with two readings and with
a knitted brow. She was a very sharp-witted old
woman, as we are constantly having to remark, and
she could not quite make up her mind whether the
unconventional flavor that clung to the letter of
the man that had been married by her sister Polly
was the fruit of conscious irony or of bona fide
rusticity.

'* Humph,'' said she, her invariable exclamation
when in doubt about anything. " An underbred per-
son, I am afraid."

She flung the cause of her uncertainty across the
counterpane to her gentlewoman with a contemptuous
gesture.

" It is an experiment," said she. " I dare say it
is not wise for a woman of my age to add to her re-
sponsibilities. We shall see. At any rate, Burden,
you are getting tiresome, and Ponto is getting
fat."'

" I feel sure she will be a sweet girl," Miss Burden
ventured to say.

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84 ARAMINTA

" Why do you think so? "

" Girlhood is so delightful," said Miss Burden.
" All young things are so adorable."

" Burden," said the old lady, ruthlessly, " you are
a fool."

Miss Burden blushed faintly, as she always did
when her birthright was applied to her scornfully.
Yet it was a trial she had had daily to endure for
many years past. She had been called a fool so often
that she had come to believe that she was one. And
that is the kind of belief that renders the human lot
very hard. The faint tinge of shame that dyed the
cheek of the poor, sensitive, downtrodden dependent
was the sign manual of something that lay too deep
for tears.

" It is a dangerous experiment," said the old lady.
" At my age I ought to know better than to try ex-
periments. I hope the creature will be decently
bred."

" Surely, dear Lady Crewkerne," said Miss Bur-
den, " a girl of poor dear Lady Augusta's can hardly
fail to be that."

" The father is quite a common man ; a person of
no particular family. And, unfortunately, girls take
after their fathers."

" I feel sure the husband of dear Lady Augusta is
a gentleman."

" Burden," said the old lady, ruthlessly, " you are
a bom fool. Ring the bell. It is time I had my
massage."

During the course of the morning Caroline Crew-

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 26

kerne's oldest friend looked in to pass the time of day
with her. He stayed to luncheon.

Cheriton was one of those men whose mission in
life it is to appear on all occasions and in every sea-
son as one apart from the vulgar herd. There can
be no doubt that he succeeded in this laudable ambi-
tion. His corsets were not to everybody's taste, and
there were also those who did not care greatly for
the color of his wig and the way in which he wore it.
Its hue was as the raven's, abundant in texture and
arranged low on the forehead in the form of a fringe.
But Caroline Crewkeme's judgment of her old gossip
was the correct one. Whatever Cheriton was or what-
ever he was not, emphatically he was not a fool. Had
he been in any sort oppressed by that not unamiable
form of human weakness the redoubtable Caroline
would have been very quick to expose it. In a mat-
ter of that kind no one could have had a keener or
more uncompromising instinct. They knew each
other so well, they had crossed swords so often, each
derived so much zest from the display of the other's
dexterity, that while interpreting one another with a
frankness that less robust persons might have
found almost brutal, it had respect for a mutual
basis.

To Cheriton's credit let it be written, he was an
admirer of women. If they were pretty his admira-
tion was apt to increase. If a character of quite
singular merit had its vulnerable point — and I do not
positively assert that it had — ^it was perhaps to be
found in his dealings with the most attractive mem-

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26 ARAMINTA

bers of what has always been allowed to be a most
attractive institution.

To the whole of that sex, however, it was his wont
to be extraordinarily polite, charming, supple, and
attentive. No one could call Miss Burden supremely
attractive. She had so many things against her, in-
cluding the immediate loss of her place had she de-
veloped any special powers in this direction. But
she had long been Lord Cheriton's devoted slave and
adherent. It was merely the result of his way with
the whole of womankind. Young or old, fair or ugly,
it made no difference. An air of deferential pleasant-
ness, of candid homage so lightly touched with sar-
casm that it passed for whimsicality, was extended
towards all who bore the name of woman, whether it
was Caroline Crewkerne herself, her penniless depend-
ent, or the old flower-seller at the top of the Hay-
market. His grace of demeanor and his slightly
ironical bonhomie were at the service of each of them
equally.

It is not too much to say that Miss Burden adored
Lord Cheriton. Not openly, of course, not in the
broad light of day ; but there can be little doubt that
had the occasion ever arisen she would gladly have
yielded her life for this handsome, deferential, finely
preserved nobleman of five and sixty. Nor is it a
matter to be wondered at. Although she was a well-
read woman with an excellent taste of her own, he
made out her circulating-library lists for her ; he in-
variably had a bimch of violets to offer her, or any
other simple flower that was in season ; he took a gen-

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 27

uine interest in the condition of her health; and
further there was every reason to suspect that in his
heart of hearts he shared her intense dislike of Ponto,
who had very rudimentary ideas indeed of the defer-
ence due to light-gray trousers.

'* Cheriton," said the old lady, as soon as they
were seated at luncheon, " did you know that George
Better ton was in London? '*

The pair of old gossips looked one another in the
face with an air of demure innocence.

'*And she at Biarritz," said Cheriton, musically.

The old lady bent across the table with the gesture
of a sibyl.

** Mark my words," said she. " The regime is at
an end."

" I never prophesy in these cases," said Cheritoa.
** She is a very able woman, which of course is not sur-
prising, and George is the incarnation of sheer stu-
pidity, which is not surprising either. All the same,
Caroline, I don't say you are not right."

** Of course I am right," said Caroline Crewkeme,
robustly. " And I put it to you, Cheriton, what will
be the next move upon the tapis? "

" George will marry," said Cheriton, tentatively.

" Precisely," said the old woman, nodding her head
in sage approval.

*' Have you selected a duchess for him? "

"Why do you ask?" said the old lady, with an
air of diplomacy which amused Cheriton, because it
was so unnecessary.

** I ask merely for information. If I were a sport-

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28 ARAMINTA

ing tipster, Priscilla Lestrange would be my selec-
tion."

" No," said Caroline Crewkeme, with immense de-
cision, *^ a man never marries a woman as stupid as
himself. Nature's an old fool, but she knows better
than that."

Cheriton pondered this philosophical statement
with a sagacious smile. Caroline's air, however, was
so pontifical that it was not for his sex to dissent
from it.

** Well, there is a great amount of stupidity in the
world," said he, *^ and it seems to be increasing. By
• the way, was George sober? "

" He was holding himself very erectly, and he was
walking very slowly."

^* Then I am afraid he wasn't. But it must be the
most tedious thing out to spend one's life in losing
one's money at cards and in criticising the Militia."

" Yes," said the old lady. " I share your opinion
that it is time George began to pay attention to more
permanent things."

" The Militia is always with us."

" I meant spiritual things, Cheriton," said Caro-
line Crewkerne, whose day-of- judgment demeanor
nearly choked his lordship.

" Greorge Betterton," said he, " has the spirituality
of a wheelbarrow. It will give me great pleasure to
be present when the subject is mentioned."

** He IS coming to my Wednesday," said the old
lady. '^ I shall speak to him then. That reminds me
that Mary Ann Farquhar says this new Lancashire

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 29

bishop eats his cheese in the old-fashioned manner and
he is now in London. If I knew his address I would
send him a card."

" The Carlton Hotel," said Cheriton, " is the head-
quarters of the Church in London."

" Burden," said the old lady, ** make a note of
that."

With an ostentation that Caroline Crewkeme con-
sidered wholly unnecessary, Cheriton inscribed this
important contribution to sociology on the tablets of
the gentlewoman. " What new game is the old
heathen going to play, I wonder? " was the question
that passed through his mind as he did so.

" What was Gobo doing in the parish? " inquired
Cheriton. " Come to worry the War Office as usual? "

" No," said the old lady, " he seemed more serious
than usual, but that may have been drink. As I am
showing Ponto at the dog show on Tuesday week,
George has consented to award the prizes. I have
chosen a silver collar with his name inscribed suitably.
I don't know anything more becoming than a silver
collar for a dog of Ponto's type."

** I am afraid it's a job ; and don't forget, my dear
Caroline, the last one you perpetrated did no good to
the country."

" What do you mean, Cheriton? " said the old lady,
with her bristles going up like a badger. " Have the
goodness to explain your meaning."

" That boy from Eton — ^your protSgS — ^whom you
sent out to South Africa to command a brigade, made
a dooce of a hash of it, they tell me."

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80 ARAMINTA

" That is a lie, Cheriton, and you know it," said
the old lady, whose voice quivered so much with pas-
sion that it frightened MiSs Burden considerably.
" Poor dear Arthur once told me himself that the
battle of Waterloo was won on the playing-fields of
Eton."

" It is your thoughtlessness, my dear Caroline, in
taking for gospel the senile speeches of an old fogy
who lived far longer than he ought to have done, that
has so nearly cost us a continent. The playing-fields
of Eton forsooth ! "

" Cheriton," said the old lady, " I despise you."

The light of battle was in her eye. It is hardly
correct to speak of their crossing swords. The
weapons they used were cudgels, in the use of which
they were very expert.

Miss Burden was not a little shocked and af-
frighted. But she had witnessed so many exhibitions
of a similar character between these combatants, who
fully enjoyed a rough and tumble whenever they met,
that I am by no means sure that the gentlewoman's
fear was not in the nature of a pleasant emotion. It
seems to be right and proper that a gentlewoman
shall derive a legitimate pride from being shocked and
affrighted. At least it used to be so in that bright
and glad heyday of decorum before Bome person un-
known invented a hockey stick to beat out the brains
of female sensibility.

It was not until they were drinking coffee in the
seclusion of her ladyship's boudoir that peace was
restored between the combatants. They had both

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 81

appeared to advantage, for they had had long prac-
tice in all kinds of verbal warfare. Cheriton's
phrases, by long association with the great world,
were as direct as possible. He called a spade a spade,
but his manner of so doing was extremely charming.
Miss Burden thought his most incisive speeches were
full of melody. As for Caroline Crewkerne, she was
the sharpest-tongued old woman in London. And the
least scrupulous, said the very considerable body who
had been flayed by it.

Peace restored, the old lady made an abrupt sug-
gestion.

" Cheriton," said she, " it has occurred to me that
it is time you settled down. You ought to marry."

'* Cherchez la femme," said Cheriton, with a light-
ness of tone that ill became him.

" If you will place the matter in my hands," said
Caroline Crewkerne, " I shall be happy to do what I
can for you."

" I am overwhelmed."

** Don^t be a coxcomb, Cheriton," said Caroline,
sharply. " Let us take a broad view of the subject
and let us place it on a matter-of-fact basis. I re-
peat, in my opinion you ought to marry."

"Pourquoi.?"

" Li the first place," said the old woman, ruth-
lessly, " you are not quite what you were. Five-and-
sixty is — well, five-and-sixty. It is no use disguising
the fact that yoimg and attractive women are a little
inclined to smile at you."

Cheriton writhed. Rather pitifully he raised a

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82 ARAMINTA

hollow guffaw. It was perhaps the worst thing he
could have done in the circumstances; but the poor
butterfly, when the pin is through its middle, is prone
to augment its own tortures by twisting its body and
flapping its wings. Caroline Crewkeme smiled
grimly.

" The fact is, Cheriton," said she," you have grown
already a little passe for the role of Phoebus Apollo.
Understand the phrase is not mine. It was whispered
in my ear by an insolent girl who looks upon you in
the light of a grandfather."

Cheriton mopped his perspiring features with a
yellow silk handkerchief. He conducted this opera-
tion very delicately because his cheeks were flushed
with a carmine that was apt to run all over the
place.

^ I have heard a complaint of your mustache,"
said his old friend. " In my opinion it requires care-
ful treatment. At present it does not harmonize with
your general scheme of color. When did you dye it
last?"

" The same day on which you last dyed your hair,
my dear Caroline," said Cheriton, rather laboriously.
" As they both belong to the same period, I thought
it right to "

" Don't explain at length," said Caroline. " I dye
my hair weekly. But what I want to point out to
you is this. In my opinion it is quite time you were
married. You are rich. It is almost a national scan-
dal that there is no entertaining at Cheriton House ;
and the title reverts to a branch of the family you

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 88

don't esteem. Surely there is to be found in the
world some youngish person of modest attractions —
do not delude yourself, Cheriton, that you can ask
for more — to whom you can offer a vocation."

" There is a little actress at the Gayety," said
Cheriton, thoughtfully. " She seems a healthy crea-
ture. I dare say she "

" Burden, quit the room,'' said the old lady.

Blushing like a peony and trembling like an aspen
— a double feat of which gentlewomen nurtured in
the best Victorian traditions were always capable —
Miss Burden obeyed.

Cheriton closed the door.

" Yes, I dare say she would," said Caroline Crew-
kerne, with her hanging- judge demeanor. " All the
same, Cheriton, you talk like a fool."

What Caroline Crewkeme said to Cheriton, and
what Cheriton said to Caroline Crewkeme, I shall not
set down. The plain truth is, I dare not. She was
a survival of a famous aristocracy which was never
accustomed to mince its language. She had always
been used, as her Greorgian forbears had before her,
to call a spade a spade. It was a mark of caste. And
Cheriton, too, beneath his superficial airs and dandi-
fied graces, which had earned for him the title of
" the last of the macaronis," which really meant noth-
ing at all, had a strain of the most uncompromising
frankness.

Really I must apologize to my readers for these
two old and hardened worldlings. I hope they will
make all the allowance that is possible, for whatever

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84 ARAMINTA

the pretensions of one of them, neither was inclined
to view the great institution we call Woman at all
romantically. Cheriton would certainly have rebutted
the charge with scorn, but none the less it is perfectly
just. His a£Fectation of delicacy was only skin deep.
Had a third person overheard their conversation with-
out being furnished with the key to it, he would have
concluded that it had to do with the bringing into
the world of a pedigree horse, a thoroughbred dog, a
prize cow, or a speckled rhinoceros. And he must
have wondered how it was that two persons who had
obviously moved in good society from their youth up,
could sit tete-h-tete in a beautiful room in one of the
most fashionable thoroughfares in all London, dis-
coursing with remarkable point and gusto upon a
subject which would have befitted a couple of yokels
in a farmyard.

" There's my niece,'* said Caroline Crewkeme.

" Have you a niece.? " said Cheriton.

** A girl of Polly's. You remember Polly i "

" Polly was a very plain wonjan," said Cheriton,
slowly. " I think, take her altogether, she was the
plainest woman I ever saw."

" It is odd," said Caroline, " that I had all the
good looks as well as all the brains. It made life so
difficult for Polly. Yet I think her heart was better
than mine."

" Yes, Caroline, I think so," said Cheriton, assent-
ing gracefully. " But I don't seem to remember
Polly's marriage."

" It was not a marriage."

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 85

** No? '* said Cheriton, with a sudden access of
interest which was open to misinterpretation.

" Polly married the village curate, who hadn't a
shilKng."

" Poor devn."

** To which of the contracting parties do you re-
fer?'* said Caroline, incisively.

'* Must have been a poor devil if he hadn't a
shilling."

" Of course," said Caroline, " the Family never
forgave her. Dearest papa forbade her the neigh-
borhood. He might have forgiven the village, and
he might have forgiven the curacy, but he could not
forgive the shilling."

" Naturally," said Cheriton. " But I've known
parsons' daughters turn out very well before now.
I've seen one or two who looked capital in the Gayety
chorus. What's the age of the gal? "

" Nineteen."

** An alluring period. Has she a good disposi-
tion? "

*' She is my niece," said Caroline, with admirable
succinctness.

** I shall come and see her. When is she on
view? "

Caroline Crewkeme enfolded herself in her mantle
of high diplomacy. She paused to measure Cheriton
with that hawk-like eye of hers.

**A month to-morrow."

" Capital," said Cheriton.

He rose at his leisure.

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36 ARAMINTA

" So long, Caroline," said he. " It is a great
pleasure to find you so fit."

Caroline gave him a withered talon.

" Get another wig," said she. " And consult a
specialist about your mustache."

" What, for a parson's daughter ! "

" A duke's granddaughter," said the imperious
Caroline.

" I'm damned if I do," said Cheriton, amiably.

" You are damned if you don't," said Caroline,
making the obvious retort which is so apt to be mis-
taken for wit, and fixing an eye upon him that was
positively arctic. " That is, if the creature is worth
her salt."

" You are doubtless correct, Caroline," said Cher-
iton, with the air of a man who made a god of rea-
son. " You have a good head. If only your
heart !"

With a bow and a smile, which had wrought great
havoc in their time, although to some they had a
certain pathos now, Cheriton withdrew. He pointed
a course towards a famous shop at the corner of
Burlington Gardens.

" It is quite true what they say," this nobleman of
distinguished appearance and open manners might
have been heard to mutter to high heaven, as he gazed
upwards to inquire of Jove whether he intended to
ruin his hat. " She is the most disagreeable old
woman in London."

However, there is always the reverse of the medal,
the other side to the picture. This handsome, courtly

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LORD CHERITON LOOKS IN 87

and carefully-preserved specimen had been scwnewhat
badly mauled no doubt by the old lioness. But had
he been endowed with eyes in the back of his head, or
been gifted with some occult faculty, he would have
found a salve for his wounds. For his exit from the
house in Hill Street was marked by a mildly ascetic
form which was efficiently and discreetly veiled amid
the curtains of the dining-room windows. Could he
have been conscious of the eyes that were concentrated
upon the back of his gracefully erect and faultlessly
tailored exterior ; could he by some special process of
the mind have ravished the secrets of that chaste yet
susceptible bosom, he would have been assured that it
is not always necessary to invoke the black arts of the
pemiquier to recommend one's self to the mind and
heart of a Christian gentlewoman. Had Lord Cher-
iton cut off his mustache as a Lenten sacrifice —
which we regret to say was not at all likely, as there
is reason to fear he did not respect the Church suffi-
ciently to contemplate such a course of action — or had
he been as bald as an egg, which Caroline Crewkerne
declared he certainly was, within the sanctity of Miss
Burden's breast there would still only have reigned
the image of one perfect man, of one true prince.

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CHAPTER IV

ABBIVAI. OP THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE

WRAPPED in these reflections that we have
dared to disclose, Miss Burden was oblivious
of the fact that an old woman leaning upon an ebony
stick, and accompanied by the roundest of all pos-
sible dogs, with the curliest of all possible tails, had
entered the room. With a somewhat cruel abrupt-
ness she was made aware of that fact.

" Burden, don't be a fool,'' said a voice that was
full of hard sarcasm. " Come away from that win-
dow immediately."

In dire confusion Miss Burden endeavored to dis-
entangle herself from the folds of the window
curtains.

** That man is as hollow as a drum," said the old
woman, with a comprehensive wave of her walking-
stick, " and as vain as a peacock. Where is your
self-respect. Burden? A person of your age, position,
and appearance — ^it is indecent."

Miss Burden was prepared to swoon. Fifty years
earlier in the world's history there is reason to be-
lieve she would have done so. But even the emo-
tional apparatus of a Christian gentlewoman is sus-
ceptible to streams of tendency. Swoons are seldom
indulged in in these days by the best and most sensi-

fig

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THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE 89

tive people. Therefore Miss Burden was content to
blush guiltily, to droop her head, and to hoist a
hunted look in her mild gray eyes that was really
charming.

** Burden," said the old woman, sternly, " where is
your list for the circulating library? I shall have to
supervise your reading. It is exercising a pernicious
influence upon your mind and character."

Miss Burden produced the list from the recesses of
the small wallet which she bore suspended from her
waist.

** Precisely as I thought," said the old lady, with
a snort. " Novels, novels, novels ! And by male
writers. For some time past. Burden, it has been
plain to me that an influence has been at work which
has been undermining your sense of delicacy. * The
Ordeal of Richard Feverel,' by George Meredith.
Cross it out. Substitute Mrs. Turner's * Cautionary
Stories.' * The Dolly Dialogues,' by Anthony Hope.
Cross it out. Substitute * The Meditations of Mar-
cus Aurelius.' * An Old Maid's Love Story,' by
Anon. Cross it out. Substitute * The Pleasures of
Life,' by Lord Avebury. * L'Abbe Constantin,' by

! Cross it out. Burden, I forbid you to read

French authors until the end of May."

Having issued this Draconian edict, this tyrant,
over whose head three and seventy winters had
already passed, left her gentlewoman impaled hap-
lessly upon the two-spiked thorn of shame and con-
fusion. She proceeded to indulge in her daily siesta,
which advancing years rendered more than ever

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40 ARAMINTA

necessary if her store of natural energy was to re-
main equal to the demands which were made upon it.

At four o'clock, as I think I have told you already,
it was the old lady's custom, if the weather was fa-
vorable, to take the air in her yellow chariot. Upon
this momentous day, however, the elements were ad-
verse ; and at twenty-seven minutes past four, by the
clock in the blue drawing-room, she was to be found
in that spacious, somber, yet magnificent apartment.
She was wearing her second-best turban, a black silk
dress, and a collar of priceless old lace, secured by a
brooch which was said to have been given to an an-
cestress by good Queen Elizabeth, who, for reasons
of state, afterwards cut off the head of the recipient.
Enthroned before a silver teapot and twelve Crown
Derby teacups, with a monogram upon the bottom,
prepared to offer some very weak tea and some stale
bread and butter to a number of persons who were
not in the least likely to appear to claim it, she pre-
sented as formidable a figure as any to be found in
London.

I lay stress upon the time — twenty-seven minutes
past four — for that is the hour at which this history
really begins. Then it was that a four-wheeled ve-
hicle of a rapidly disappearing type drew up before
the imposing front door of the house in Hill Street.
Upon the roof of the " growler " was a dilapidated
wooden box, insecurely tied with a cord which had
been pieced in three places. And seated modestly *
enough in Its interior was — ^well, the First Cause of
All Romance.

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THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE 41

I cannot say more than that. There she was. The
first thing appertaining to her that was projected
from the dim recesses of the " growler " was her
straw hat. Now, as I think I have already observed,
there is a great deal in a hat. They are full of char-
acter — straw hats especially. And as it is the duty
of a historian to extenuate nothing, it has to be said
that this was a preposterous hat altogether. In the
first place, its dimensions were certainly remarkable;
it flopped absurdly; there was a sag of the brims
which was irresistibly impossible ; while as for the gen-
eral condition and contour of the hat, the less said
upon that subject the better. •

In general shape, design, and texture, this prim-
itive article was more like an inverted vegetable bas-
ket than anything else. Unmistakably rustic, even in
its prime, it was now old, discolored, and misshapen ;
and the piece of black ribbon that had adorned it in
its youth was really not fit for the West End of
London. Purchased of the general outfitter of
Slocum Magna for the sum of one and elevenpence
halfpenny in the spring of 1900, I am not concerned
to deny that it was as rudimentary a form of head-
gear as was ever devised by the very remote district
to which it owed its being. It had absolutely no
business at all in that chaste thoroughfare which for
many years past has been dedicated to the usage of
fashion.

I am taking up a lot of time over the hat, although
I am aware that my readers are saying, " Bother
the hat ! Tell us what is underneath it." Precisely,

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42 ARAMINTA

All in good time. But it is my duty to set down
things in the exact order they emerged from the dim
recesses of the " growler." The inverted vegetable
basket was the first to emerge undoubtedly. And then
came the tip of a chin. It was inclined at a furtive
angle of feminine curiosity. Although only the ex-
treme tip of it was visible, the preposterous headgear
which overshadowed it really ought not to be men-
tioned on the same page with it. For there can be
no question that the chin was the work of a very
great Artist indeed.

The cabman came down from his perch. He was
a veteran, with an extremely red visage, and a gen-
eral look of knowledge which he had a perfect right
to assume.

"You are 'ere, miss," said he, as he opened the
door of the " growler " with a spacious air which
almost suggested that he was the ground land-
lord of the whole of thfe West End of London.
" You would like the portmanter down, wouldn't
you.?"

" Yes, please," drawled a friendly voice from
within.

While the cabman, with great ceremony and an
immense display of exertion, was lifting the corded
box from the roof, the owner of the inverted vegeta-
ble basket emerged from the " growler," marched up
the steps of the Right Honorable the Countess of
Crewkerne's town residence, and rang a loud peal
upon the front-door bell.

The front door was opened immediately by no less

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THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE 48

a person than John, who was rather inclined to expect
a duchess. John devoted the greater, the more se-
rious portion of his life to the expectation of
duchesses. And with his imperturbable mien, his
somewhat supercilious eyes, and his superb suit of
livery, which did infinite credit to the most exclusive
firm in Savile Row, no man on this planet, whatever
point they have reached in Mars, was better fitted to
receive one.

John was taken abapk. By an inexcusable over-
sight on the part of the powers that obtained in Hill
Street, the personal retainers of the Right Honorable
the Countess of Crewkeme had not been informed
that her ladyship expected her niece. No carriage
had been sent to meet her. The fact was that the old
lady expected her on the following day. Whether
the Reverend Aloysius Perry had expressed himself
obscurely, or whether Lady Crewkeme and her gen*
tlewoman had read his letter carelessly, is a problem
not easy to solve. But there the matter stood. The
fair visitor from Slocum Magna in the middle of
Dartmoor, North Devon, was not in the least ex-
pected, and John was taken aback.

It did not take him long to recover, however, for
his natural self-possession was considerable, and he
was a man of the world. Almost immediately he be-
gan to subject the invader to a very severe scrutiny.
He began with the crown of her hat. To say the
least, the beginning was very unfortunate. From the
hat his hostile gaze passed to a very rustic-looking
doak which had a hood to it. If there was one thing

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44 ARAMINTA

that John despised more than another, it was a cloak
with a hood.

Then the frock underneath ! It was a sort of lilac
print arrangement, faded in places, and completely
outgrown by its wearer, who — ^whisper it not in Bond
Street ! — stood exactly six feet in her stockings. As
the intelligent reader will doubtless surmise, the skirt
of this nondescript garment displayed a great deal
more ankle than is considered correct in the metrop-
olis. And such ankles ! Yet the boots which adorned
them may have made them appear worse than they
really were. The village cobbler at Slocum Magna
has always been allowed to be a conscientious and
painstaking craftsman, but it is very doubtful
whether he will ever be awarded a diploma for his
skill in the higher graces of his calling. The ankles
of the fair visitor were encased in the stoutest, most
misshapen pair of laced-up boots John had ever seen
in .his life.

Further, John's eye fell upon a pair of gloves
which in his opinion were all that a pair of gloves
should not be. They were made of black cotton and
were very freely darned; and, as if this were not
enough, the right glove was clasped round the handle
of a wicker basket of a dreadfully rural, not to say
common, character. The lid, which was secured by a
piece of string, had a great air of uncertainty about
it. At any moment it threatened to give way to the
weight it had to bear. And as if all these unlucky
details did not themselves suffice, there was a " grow-
ler " immediately opposite the sacred precincts ; while

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THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE 46

at that very moment a red-faced and festive-looking
cabman was toiling up the steps with a dilapidated
wooden box, tied by a cord which had been pieced in
three places.

In the circumstances there was only one thing for
John to do. This John did with great energy and
conviction. He sniffed.

At almost the same moment a perfectly ludicrous
drawl assailed his ears.

" Does Aunt CaroUne live here, please.'^ " said the
occupant of the doorstep.

It is not too much to say that John was nonplused
by the question.

" This is the residence of the Countess of Crew-
kerne," said he with hauteur.

Unhappily, the effect of this announcement was
marred by the officious behavior of the cabman. That
worthy was oppressed by no sense of embarrassment.
With a wheeze and a grunt which were wholly un-
necessary, because the box contained so little, he made
his way past its owner with ostentatious heaviness,
and was about to bring it into forcible contact with
John's best suit of livery, when the custodian of the
portals realized that it was a time for action.

" Don't bring it in," said he, sternly. " Stay where
you are. I will make inquiries."

With a glance, not to the cabman only, but to the
wearer of the inverted vegetable basket also, which
intimated that they crossed that threshold upon peril
of their hves, John turned upon his heel. He walked
across the entrance-hall to confer with his chief, who

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46 ARAMINTA

of course was no less a personage than Mr. March-
banks himself.

The conference was grave, but it was brief. Mr.
Marchbanks came forward in his own inimitable
manner, only to find that the fair intruder, prepos-
terous hat, hooded cloak, cobbled boots, darned
gloves and all, had had the temerity to enter.

I do not say positively that Mr. Marchbanks
frowned upon her ; but certainly he looked very ma-
jestic; and it is my deliberate judgment that had
you searched the length and breadth of Mayf air it
would have been impossible to find a more imposing
man than he. His nose was like the Duke of Wel-
lington's, and it was known that his demeanor was
modeled upon that of that renowned hero and patriot.
In his cutaway morning-coat and spotless shirt-front,
and his great Gladstone collar, purchased at the
same shop as was affected by that distinguished
statesman, with his black-bow tie and his patrician
features, he might just as well have been prime min-
ister of these realms as merely the butler to old Lady
Crewkeme.

I lay particular stress upon these facts, and I
want all my feminine readers to make an especial ef-
fort to comprehend them, because the behavior of the
Heroine was such as has never previously been of-
fered to the public in a work of this character.

She attempted to shake hands with the butler.

In a measure John was to blame. He approached
Mr. Marchbanks so reverently, he addressed him with
such an air of deference, that the artless intruder

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THE FIRST CAUSE OF ALL ROMANCE 47

might almost be pardoned for jumping to the con-
clusion that Mr. Marchbanks was a marquis uncle
whom she had never heard of before. At any rate,
no sooner had the finely chiseled profile of Mr.
Marchbanks confronted her than the creature of the
straw hat tucked the wicker basket under her left
arm, and thrust out her right hand with a spasmodic
suddenness which dumfounded Mr. Marchbanks
completely.

** Oh, how do you do? " she said. '* I hope you are
quite well."

Mr. Marchbanks did exactly what you would ex-
pect him to do. He drew himself up to his full
height. Yet there was no confusion in his gesture,
although it was a great crisis in his life. After an
instant of silence in which he sought very success-
fully to recover the grand manner, he held a short
private colloquy with his subaltern. Neither of these
gentlemen had been informed that her ladyship ex-
pected her niece, but Mrs. Plunket the housekeeper
had informed them that a new under-housemaid was
expected at six o'clock.

That is how the instinct of Mr. Marchbanks came
to betray him.

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CHAPTER V

THE nrSTEffCT OF MB. MABCHBANKS BETBAYS HIM

IT is impossible to forgive Mr. Marchbanks. He
of all men ought to have known that the fair
intruder was what is technically known as " a
lady." In these democratic times it is true this
mysterious entity is of many kinds, and it was a
point of honor with Mr. Marchbanks to keep as far
behind them as he decently could. But it is impos-
sible to forgive him for jumping to his absurd con-
clusion. One can understand a comparative amateur
such as John, who judged things objectively, making
such an inexcusable blunder; but that such a past
master in the fine shades of social status should have
confirmed him in it, is one of those things that frankly
defeats us.

In the stateliest fashion, with his silvered head
held very erectly, Mr. Marchbanks made his way to
the housekeeper's room.

Mrs. Plunket, indisputable sovereign of the nether
regions, was taking tea. Mr. Marchbanks greeted
her with an air of private wrong.

** A young person, ma'am, is arrived," said he.

" The new under-housemaid is not due until six
o'clock," said Mrs. Plunket. " She has no right to
come before her time."

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 49

" I am almost afraid, ma'am," said Mr. March-
banks, with diplomatic reserve, " that this is her first
place."

" Surely not," said Mrs. Plunket. ** She has been
ten months in the service of the Duchess Dowager of
Blankhampton."

" Then, I fear," said Mr. Marchbanks, gravely,
" that she has not profited by her experience."

" Indeed, Mr. Marchbanks ! " said Mrs. Plunket.

" She rang the front-door bell," said Mr. March-
banks.

** That is unpardonable," said Mrs. Plunket. " Yet
the Duchess Dowager of Blankhampton is generally
considered very good service."

" Things are very unsettled, ma'am, in these days,"
said Mr. Marchbanks, gloomily. " It seems some-
times that even good service is a thing of the past.
If we must have Radical Governments and we must
have higher education of the masses, there is no say-
ing where we shall get to. She — ah, she attempted
to shake hands with me ! "

Mr. Marchbanks' solemn, deep-toned note of
pathos impinged upon the domain of poetry.

Mrs. Plunket shuddered.

" Mr. Marchbanks," said she, " if you desire it
she shall be dismissed."

At heart, however, Mr. Marchbanks was a man of
liberal views, as became one who had been nurtured
in Whig traditions.

" She is young, ma'am," said he, with a dignified
mildness which in the circumstances Mrs. Plunket

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60 ARAMINTA

admired extremely. " A word in season from the
right quarter might bear fruit."

" She shall have it," said Mrs. Plunket, with a
truculent shake of the teapot.

" Her style of dress also leaves much to be desired/'
said Mr. Marchbanks. ^^ It is distinctly suburban to
my mind. But no doubt, ma'am, you will prefer to
judge for yourself."

" I will see her," said Mrs. Plunket. " But I feel
sure I shall have to dismiss her at once. Yet
to be an under-housemaid short does make life so
difficult."

" Perhaps, ma'am, she may be molded," said Mr.
Marchbanks with the optimism of the true Whig.

Mr. Marchbanks withdrew, climbed the stairs at a
dignified leisure, and reached the marble floor of the
spacious entrance-hall. He was greeted immediately
by a gesture of distress from John. It seemed that
the chaste air of Hill Street was being defiled by an
altercation between a person in a battered straw hat
and a rustical frock and an elderly cabman who smelt
strongly of gin.

The fare had set down her wicker basket, and with
some little difficulty had contrived to draw half a
crown from the inside of her glove.

The cabman had received this coin dubiously.
After gazing at it thoughtfully as it lay in his grimy
palm, said he —

"What about the box, miss? And a wet arter-
noon."

" Papa said the fare would be half a crown from

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 61

Waterloo Station," said the wearer of the preposter-
ous straw hat.

** I don't know about your pa, miss," said the cab-
man, " but I do know that the box is outside lug-
gage. And I lifted it down meself , and I carried it in
with my own 'ands, and it's raining like old boots."

** Papa said " the Straw-hatted One was ex-
plaining slowly and with patience, when Mr. March-
banks, in response to John's appeal, interrupted her
with quiet authority.

Very deftly Mr. Marchbanks added sixpence to the
cabman's half-crown.

** Go away as soon as possible," said Mr. March-
banks. **We are likely to have callers at any
moment."

The cabman touched his hat in recognition of the
fact that he had to do with a gentleman, and pro-
ceeded to carry out these instructions.

** Do you mind coming this way, miss — ah," said
Mr. Marchbanks a little haughtily to the lady of the
hat.

" Miss Perry," said she, with a drawl that was
almost ludicrous.

In extenuation of the conduct of Mr. Marchbanks
it must be said that neither his sense of sight nor of
hearing were quite so good as they had been. Other-
wise that ludicrous drawl must have caused him con-
siderable uneasiness.

Miss Perry tucked the wicker basket under her
arm, and followed Mr. Marchbanks with perfect
friendliness and simplicity. Mr. Marchbanks opened

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62 ARAMINTA

the door of the housekeeper's room, and in his own
inimitable manner, announced —

" Miss Perry.''

A decidedly stern, angular-looking lady disen-
gaged her chin from a teacup.

" The housekeeper, Mrs. Plunket," Mr. March-
banks deigned to explain to the owner of the straw
hat.

Mr. Marchbanks mentioned the name of Mrs.
Plunket, the housekeeper, in a manner to suggest that
it expected reverence from Miss Perry. Again, how-
ever, he was doomed to disappointment. The stately
and distant inclination of Mrs. Plunket's head merely
provoked a frank and friendly impulse in Miss Perry.

" Oh, how do you do? " said she. " I hope you are
quite well."

To the dismay of Mr. Marchbanks and to the
dignified stupefaction of Mrs. Plunket, the owner of
the straw hat made a most determined effort to shake
hands with that lady.

Mrs. Plunket gave her a finger. Being as short-
sighted as Mr. Marchbanks himself, she hastily ad-
justed her spectacles to take a more adequate survey
of this extremely temerarious person.

Now, the first thing that impressed Mrs. Plunket
was not the straw hat, not the gloves, not the frock,
not the wicker basket, and not even the cloak with the
hood. It was the truly Amazonian proportions of
Miss Perry that first impressed her.

She was exactly six feet high in her stockings, no
more and no less. And everything about her, from

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 53

the too-visible ankles upwards, were in the same pro-
portion. Had Mrs. Plunket had an eye for such de-
tails, and unfortunately she had not, she would have
observed in addition to the disconcerting physique
and the shabby and ill-fitting clothes, a pair of the
bluest eyes and a mane of the yellowest hair that ever
came out of Devon. It is true that the eyes were
somewhat dim and heavy, because they had shed a
vast quantity of tears during the past forty-eight
hours. All the same their quality was wonderful.
Then also there was an equally wonderful West Coun-
try complexion, washed by the dew, fed by the sun-
shine, and refined by the winds of the sea and the
moorland into a perfect glamor of pink and white.
Yet all these enchanting details had nothing to say
to Mrs. Plunket. For the first time in her long and
successful career she had engaged a new under-house-
maid merely upon the strength of " high-class refer-
ences " only, with the fatal neglect of the precaution
of " a personal interview." In consequence the new
under-housemaid proved to be six feet high, whose
naivete of dress and manners was something wholly
beyond Mrs. Plunket's experience.

" Pray sit down," said Mrs. Plunket, with an arc-
tic air which would not have disgraced the presiding
genius of the blue drawing-room.

Miss Perry sat down with spacious ease. She
placed the wicker basket on her knees and rested her
elbows upon it.

" Would you like a cup of tea.? " said Mrs. Plun-
ket, stiffly.

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64 ARAMINTA

" Oh yes, please," said Miss Perry, who seemed
sincerely gratified by the suggestion.

Mr. Marchbanks retired discreetly, while Mrs.
Plunket prepared a cup of tea for Miss Perry. As
she handed it to her she gazed very sternly through
her spectacles at the new under-housemaid who sat
nursing her wicker basket with remarkable uncon-
cern.

*' Thank you so much," said Miss Perry, accepting
the cup of tea with really charming friendliness.

" I had no idea that you were so large," said Mrs.
Plunket, with an aggrieved air. " I think the fact
ought to have been mentioned."

Miss Perry drew off her darned cotton gloves with
great simplicity.

" I £M» rather big," said she, *' but if the beds are
too small I can curl myself up."

" I was not thinking of the beds," said Mrs.
Plunket, severely. " There are all sizes here. I am
thinking of her ladyship. She is very strict and
somewhat old-fashioned in her ideas. I am afraid she
may object to your appearance."

"Do you think so?" said Miss Perry, putting
three lumps of sugar in her tea with the greatest
amiability.

" Yes," said Mrs. Plunket, sternly, " I do. It is
most unusual. Had you been an under-footman of
course it would not have mattered."

** Don't you think so?" said Miss Perry, who
seemed to be more interested in her cup of tea than
in the subject of the under-footman.

Now, Miss Perry had not a great brain. Indeed,

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 66

in the opinion of those best qualified to speak upon
the subject, she had not a brain at all. She was
merely an amiable, frank, friendly person, constitu-
tionally slow-witted and phlegmatic. The manner of
her reception in the household of her august relation,
whom she had never seen, and of whom the only thing
she knew positively was that, in conjunction with the
rest of that great family, she had treated her papa
and her dead mamma abominably, ought to have
given her furiously to think. No one, however, could
have been less addicted to that process than Miss
Perry.

There certainly came into her mind in a confused
sort of manner a remarkable speech that had been
made by her dearest papa when he opened the superb
coroneted envelope and read Aunt Caroline's letter.
" I dare say her ladyship has a vacancy for an un-
der-housemaid ! " he had said, with his quaint and
whimsical laugh, which had yet been so severely tried
by the things of this world as to be not quite so
mirthful as it might have been.

By the time Miss Perry had come to remember
this circiunstance a deep wave of color had crept over
her wonderful countenance. But hers was the tem-
perament of a philosopher. Instead of suffering an
agony of horrified embarrassment, as some young
ladies might have done, she merely regarded her tea
and hoped to receive an invitation to partake of bread
and butter.

*' You have been in service before, have you not? "
said Mrs. Plunket.

** Oh, no," drawled Miss Perry, finishing Her

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66 ARAMINTA

cup of tea and looking as though she would like
another.

" I am afraid this is serious," said Mrs. Plunket,
with chilling dignity. " I have been misinformed."

A pause ensued, in which Miss Perry hoped in vain
for a little more refreshment.

"It is an awfully nice day, isn't it?" said Miss
Perry, conversationally.

Mrs. Plunket was too much preoccupied with the
external aspect of the latest thing in housemaids to
pay the least attention to the weather.

" A mistake appears to have been made," said that
lady, acidly. " I am informed that your name is
Perry."

Miss Perry confirmed that information with modest
yet charming friendliness.

" What is your first name.? " said Mrs. Plunket.

Miss Perry slowly opened her blue eyes to a width
that was really extraordinary, and gave a wise little
shake to her mane, which was the color of daffodils.

" My name is Araminta," said she, with a drawl
that was perfectly ludicrous, " but they call me
Goose because I am rather a SiUay."

Mrs. Plunket sat bolt upright. Her countenance
was the picture of horror. The latest thing in house-
maids was too much for her. She flung up her gaunt
arms with a tragic gesture.

" Emma Maddison is the name of the person I am
expecting," said Mrs. Plunket.

*^ R-r-really," said Miss Perry, who rolled her R's
in an inimitable fashion.

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 57

" A serious mistake has been made by somebody,*'
said Mrs. Plunket. " I am expecting a person of the
name of Enmia Maddison, who has been under-house-
maid for ten months in the service of the Duchess
Dowager of Blankhampton."

** R-r-really," said Miss Perry, whose azure orbs
were fixed upon the teapot.

Mrs. Plimket renewed her scrutiny of this extraor-
dinary housemaid. The battered straw hat or in-
verted vegetable basket, which sagged at the brim in
an ahnost immoral manner, the hooded cloak, the
wicker basket with string attachment, and the unpre-
cedented display of ankle, came again within her pur-
view.

** This will never do," she remarked in much the
same fashion that the Right Honorable Lord Jeffrey
reviewed Mr. Wordsworth's poetry.

" Tell me," said Mrs. Plunket, austerely. " Where
have you come from.? "

" My home is at Slocum Magna," said Miss Perry,
dissembling her pride in that fact in an uncommonly
well-bred manner.

" Where, pray, is Slocum Magna? "

" Slocum Magna," said Miss Perry, who was al-
ready marveling in her slow-witted way at the con-
summate ignorance of London people, " is the next
parish to Widdiford."

" And where, pray, is Widdiford? " demanded
Mrs. Plunket.

Miss Perry's wonderful blue eyes opened to their
limit. Widdiford was the center of civilization. It

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68 ARAMINTA

was the fixed standard by which the world itself was
measured. Miss Perry slowly marshaled her battal-
ions for a great intellectual display.

" I started from Widdiford," said she, " at a quar-
ter past nine, and I got to London at four. That
makes nearly seven hours by railway, and you have
to change twice."

During the pause which followed this announce-
ment Mrs. Plunket grew very thoughtful indeed.
Finally a clear conviction seemed to enfold her.

" I am sorry," she said, " but I fear that an un-
der-housemaid who is six feet high is out of the ques-
tion. Her ladyship has a rooted objection to any
kind of extravagance."

Now, as I have said, Miss Perry was not in the
least clever. The sum of her knowledge of the world
had been acquired at the unconunonly rustic parson-
age at Slocum Magna. She realized in her lethargic
fashion that her Aimt Caroline was a very proud and
unfeeling old woman, who had an odious way of
treating her poor relations. Therefore, coming
vaguely to discern that the situation in which she
foimd herself must be very remarkable, a look of dis-
may begin to settle upon her pink and white counte-
nance. Mrs. Plunket, observing it, was not disposed
to be unkind.

" You had better stay here to-night," said she ;
" and in the morning your fare will be paid back to
Slocum Magna."

At the mention of the blessed name of Slocum
Magna the look of dismay lifted from the face of

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 69

Miss Perry. But it was for a moment only. She re-
membered with a pang of sore distress that she had
come all the way to London on a great mission. The
ebbing fortunes of the Parsonage were vested in her.
When her dearest papa, whose trousers seemed to get
shorter and shabbier every year, had watched her
button a whole sovereign and two half-crowns and a
third-class railway ticket into her glove on the down
platform at Widdiford Junction, and he had kissed
her on both cheeks, he said, " If it were not for
Dickie and Charley and Polly and Milly and Betty,
we'd take precious good care that your Aunt Caro-
line did not rob us of the pick of the basket." There-
fore, very slowly yet very clearly, her duty seemed to
shape itself in her mind.

" Oh, if you please," said she, " I don't think I
want to go back to Slocum Magna. Perhaps I might
speak to Aunt Caroline."

"Aunt Caroline?" said Mrs. Plunket, with a
puzzled air.

She then remembered that although Mrs. Bateman,
the cook, was called Hannah, as cooks always are,
her real name was Caroline.

" I was not aware," said Mrs. Plunket, " that you
were a niece of Mrs. Bateman's.**

Miss Perry was not aware of it either. A ray of
intelligence percolated to that unsusceptible mind.
All was explained. She had come to the wrong
house.

**Is this Mrs. Bateman's? " said she.

^ Certainly it is not Mrs. Bateman's," said Mrs.

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60 ARAMINTA

Pliinket, sternly, " but she lives here, of course. Per-
haps you would like to see her."

So much was Miss Perry mystified by this new turn
of events that she was unable to say whether she
would like to see Mrs. Bateman or not. In Mrs.
Plunket's opinion silence gave consent. She rang the
bell and desired the immediate attendance of that
lady.

A portly, good-humored dame of florid complexion
and communicative manners made her appearance.

" Mrs. Bateman," said Mrs. Plunket, briefly, " I
believe this is your niece."

Having overcome her first emotion of legitimate
surprise, Mrs. Bateman welcomed Miss Perry with
effusion.

" Why," she exclaimed, " it is that girl of Maria's !
She is the image of Maria. Very pleased to see you,
my love. How's your father? "

The next thing of which Miss Perry was conscious
was that a pair of fat arms were hugging her and
that she was being kissed in a very vigorous man-
ner.

" How like your mother to be sure," said Mrs.
Bateman, " and what a big girl you've grown ! "

" Too big, in my opinion, for good service,'^ said
Mrs. Plunket.

" You can't have too much of a good thing, can
you, my love? " said Mrs. Bateman.

Miss Perry was bewildered. Mrs. Bateman was
not in the least like the Aunt Caroline she had ex-
pected to see.

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 61

** Are you r-r-really Aunt Caroline? " she said,
with her eyes at their widest.

" You must be Sally/' said Mrs. Bateman, " little
Sally Dickinson who used to be so fond of sugar."

** It appears to have been a stimulating diet," said
Mrs. Plunket.

*' Little Sally Dickinson who didn't like to go to
bed early," said Mrs. Bateman. " Law, how you've
grown, my dear ! "

" My name is Araminta Perry," said that wonder-
ful person with slow-drawn solemnity.

" Sally Dickinson, my love," said Mrs. Bateman.
" I should know you anywhere."

It was now the turn of Mrs. Plunket to grow be-
wildered.

" There is some mystery here," said she. " If she
is Araminta Perry she cannot be Sally Diclunson,
and if she is Sally Dickinson she cannot be Araminta
Perry."

All concerned seemed to feel that this was preg-
nant reasoning.

" That is right, Mrs. Plunket," said Mrs. Bate-
man, " that is common sense and human nature."

"Are you r-r-really Aunt Caroline?" said Miss
Perry, with her blue eyes growing rounder and
rounder.

" Of course I am, my love," said Mrs. Bateman,
affectionately; " and very proud to be the aimt of
such a boimcing girl as you."

It was left to the practical intelligence of Mrs.
Plunket to find the solution to the puzzle.

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62 ARAMINTA

" I presume," said she- to Miss Perry with great
severity, " that Bateman is the name of your Aunt
Caroline."

" Oh, no," said that Featherbrain.

*^ No 1 " gasped Mrs. Bateman.

" No ! " said Mrs. Plunket, with great sternness.
" Then what, pray, is the name of your Aunt Caro-
Une? "

The fair Araminta knitted her brows. Was
there ever anything so unlucky .'* The name of
her august relation had passed clean out of her
head.

" I don't remember," drawled Miss Featherbrain, in
the throes of a considerable mental struggle.

" You don't remember ! " said Mrs. Plunket.
" Upon my word ! "

Mrs. Plimket and Mrs. Bateman subjected Miss
Perry to a prolonged scrutiny.

" There," said Mrs. Bateman, triumphantly, " it
is just as I said. She is Sally Dickinson."

" Try to remember the first letter of your aunt's
name," said Mrs. Plunket, in a tone which frightened
Mrs. Bateman, but which seemed to make no particu-
lar impact upon Miss Perry.

That Featherbrain mustered all her battalions to
wage herculean warfare. She knitted her brows and
clasped her wicker basket still more firmly. In the
process of time, as was only to be expected after such
a stupendous display of mental energy, an inspira-
tion came to her.

" She's the Countess of Something ! "

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MARCHBANKS' INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 63

Mrs. Plunket sat bolt upright, as if moved by an
invisible spring.

" The Countess of Something ! " said she.

Upon one side of her fac^ was incredulity, upon
the other was dismay. She then looked at Mrs. Bate-
man blankly.

" The Countess of Crewkeme," said Miss Feather-
brain, with an air of triumph.

Mrs. Bateman gave a little howl.

"Oh lord!*' she cried, "haven't I just put my
foot in it? It means a month's notice.*'

Mrs. Bateman simply turned and bolted. Mrs.
Plunket, as became her exalted position, was of
stouter fiber.

" Miss Perry," said she, with a dignity that was
really admirable, " I apologize for a most unfortu-
nate mistake. I regret it exceedingly. I hope you
will be so kind as not to mention the matter to her
ladyship."

" Not at all," said Miss Perry, with charming
amiability.

Mr. Marchbanks was promptly summoned.

" A most unfortunate mistake has been made, Mr.
Marchbanks," said Mrs. Plunket to that ambassador.
** Miss Perry is her ladyship's niece."

To say that a feather would have knocked Mr.
Marchbanks over is to state the case lightly. Yet
even in the depths of his consternation he directed
a glance of solemn unbelief at the preposterous
hat.

*' Announce Miss Perry's arrival to her ladyship,"

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64 ARAMINTA

said Mrs. Plunket, "but do not mention anjrthing
else."

Mr. Marchbanks was besieged with doubt as he
made his way to the blue drawing-room. In spite of
Mrs. Plunket's sensational statement, incredulity still
reigned in his mind. It was possible that a hideous
error had been committed; and yet in the ripeness
of his judgment he clearly foresaw the possibility of
committing another. He had Mrs. Plunket's author-
ity that the nondescript creature who had come with
a corded box in a four-wheel cab, who wore an un-
seemly hat, unmentionable gloves and boots, and who
had attempted to shake hands with him, was her lady-
ship's niece ; but all the same he had his own opinion.

Mr. Marchbanks entered the blue drawing-room on
the horns of a dilemma. It was difficult to know
what line to take.

He was glad to observe that her ladyship was
alone with her gentlewoman. They were engaged in
a game of piquet; and the gentlewoman was just
about to be rubiconed, an indignity she suffered on an
average three times a day.

Mr. Marchbanks approached his mistress, and hav-
ing waited while she claimed two for the last trick,
said —

" A young person of the name of ?erry is arrived,
my lady.'*

Her ladyship looked at Mr. Marchbanks bleakly.

" What is that to do with me? " she said.

It would seem that for the moment the name of
Perry had passed as completely out of her head as

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MARCHBANKS* INSTINCT BETRAYS HIM 65

though it had never been in it ; and the question she
had put to Mr. Marchbanks was precisely the one
that that diplomatist desired her to answer herself,

" She appears to have business with your lady-
ship," said he.

" Very odd," said his venerable mistress. " A young
perscm of the name of Perry."

And then quite suddenly a light dawned upon her.

" Of course," she said to her gentlewoman ; " I had
forgotten. That girl of Polly's."

Like a hawk she swooped down upon the luckless
Mr. Marchbanks.

" Tell me, Marchbanks," she said, " what you
mean precisely by a young person of the name of
Perry. Do you wish to infer that she is not a lady? "

It was as tight a corner as Mr. Marchbanks had
ever been in. Yet he yielded to none in professional
wisdom.

** I don't wish to infer, your ladyship, that she
might not be a lady," said Mr. Marchbanks, cau-
tiously.

" It appears to me, Marchbanks," said his vener-
able mistress, " that you are getting too old for your
place. I will see my niece, Miss Perry."

" Thank you, my lady," said Mr. Marchbanks,
with a bead of perspiration upon his forehead.

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CHAPTER VI

UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS

THE old lady sat very upright to receive her
niece.

It is regrettable to have to state that a subtle air
of triumph was hovering around Mr. Marchbanks as.
he announced Miss Perry. For that irresponsible
person still retained her hooded cloak, the preposter-
ous hat was there in all its naivete, her frock looked
more shrunken and her cobbled boots more conspicu-
ous than ever ; and in her left hand the wicker basket
tied with string was very firmly borne.

The old lady mounted her eyeglass as a prelim-
inary measure. She gazed at her protegee with a
resolution that was almost awful. But it took more
than this to defeat Miss Perry.

" Oh, how do you do? " said that irresponsible per-
son, coming forward and completely enveloping the
old lady and her gentlewoman in a most gracious
beam. " I hope you are quite well."

The presiding genius of the blue drawing-room
looked Miss Perry up and looked Miss Perry down,
from the crown of the luckless hat to the soles of the
cobbled boots. At a disdainful leisure the Amazonian
proportions, which the general inadequacy of the out-

66

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 67

grown garments seemed to accentuate, sank Into the
ruthless critic. The grim old mouth relaxed in frank
astonishment.

" Dear me ! " it said, " how uncomfortable."

Miss Perry was not really abashed, although the
turban, the eyeglass, the ebony cane, the hawk-like
features, and the general day-of- judgment demeanor
certainly gave pause to that Featherbrain. At least,
she opened her blue eyes very wide and gripped her
wicker basket very firmly.

The old lady's truculent gaze fell upon that un-
fortunate accompaniment.

** What, pray, is that contrivance? " she de-
manded.

Miss Perry tucked the wicker basket under her
arm.

" Oh, if you please, Aimt Caroline," said she, with
a drawl that was really irresistibly foolish, " this is
Tobias."

" Tobias," said the old lady, suspiciously. " Who
pray, and what, pray, is Tobias? "

Perhaps it is right to mention that the old lady
was not alone In her suspiciousness. It was shared by
Ponto. That overfed quadruped, having made a very
good limcheon Indeed, was curled up at the feet of
his mistress. Yet at the mere mention of Tobias,
whether by an association of ideas, or by a process
of mental telepathy peculiar to the dumb creation, I
am not prepared to say, but Ponto began to grow
decidedly restless.

" I trust," said the old lady, viewing the wicker

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68 ARAMINTA

basket with an increasing disfavor, " that Tobias is
not any kind of an animal."

As if to corroborate his mistress, Ponto opened his
eyes and began to grow uncommonly wide awake.

" Tobias is just a sweet," said Miss Perry, with a
charming air of reassurance. " He is just an old
precious."

The old lady looked so positively arctic as she ad-
dressed the custodian of Tobias that both Miss
Burden and Mr. Marchbanks were chilled to the
marrow.

" If Tobias is a living thing," said the old lady,
" and I have every reason to believe that it is, I for-
bid it the blue drawing-room. And I consider it an
act of gross impertinence "

However, before the old lady could conclude a
speech which was intended to exterminate both Tobias
and his custodian, there befell a most melancholy
occurrence. Whether Tobias, growing incensed at
his excommunication, became violent in his basket, or
whether his custodian was so much distressed thereby
as to relax her hold upon it, will never be known with
any degree of certainty. But what happened was
this. Right in the middle of the old lady's ruthless
deliverance upon the subject the wicker basket fell
with a thud onto the Persian carpet.

At the same instant the lid fell off in the most
dramatic manner. Two yellow shin pads, which had
seen service in the hockey field, and a long, lean
brown body flew out together. Miss Burden screamed ;
and incredible as it may appear, Ponto shot straight

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 69

up the window curtains, and feeling dear Kfe to be
at stake balanced himself very precariously upon the
pole at the top.

Miss Burden approached the verge of hysteria. Mr.
Marchbanks seemed overwhelmed. As for the custo-
dian of Tobias, she picked up the yellow shin pads
with spacious and charming unconcern, quite as if
nothing had happened. The old lady's nerves were
imdoubtedly shaken; all the same she retained the
perfect command of a lively and vigorous self-pos-
session.

She gathered her black silk dress about her, and
poised her ebony walking-stick determinedly, and then
she stormed.

" What is it.? " she demanded. " Is it a snake? "

Miss Burden screamed.

Miss Perry replaced the yellow shin pads in the
wicker basket with a leisureliness which was highly
reassuring.

" Speak, girl," stormed the old lady. " I repeat,
what is it? If you have dared to introduce a reptile
into my drawing-room you shall both leave this house
immediately."

Even this decree did not perturb Miss Perry. She
still preserved her constitutional obliviousness to any-
thing in the nature of commotion.

" Oh no, dear Aunt Caroline," she drawled. ** To-
bias is not a snake. He is only a ferret."

The old lady snorted blood and fire.

" A ferret ! " she stormed. " I positively forbid
ferrets in my drawing-room. Marchbanks, remove

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70 ARAMINTA

it immediately, and then have the goodness to fetch
down Ponto from the curtain-pole."

Now, although Mr. Marchbanks was a strong,
silent man he did not quite know how to grapple with
the situation. To begin with, although his experience
of men and things was very wide, it has to be con-
fessed that he had never handled a ferret in his life.
And, again, it was not easy to know where Tobias
had got to.

** Remove it immediately," stormed the old lady.

Mr. Marchbanks stooped very cautiously to peer
under the table. To his infinite relief Tobias was not
there.

However, the hawklike eyes of his mistress very
quickly detected the whereabouts of the alien pres-
ence.

" It is behind the window curtains."

Mr. Marchbanks approached the window curtains
very warily. But even then he was unable to see
Tobias.

" There it is," said his mistress. " In the corner
there. Approach quietly. And if you value your
fingers be careful where you put them."

Mr. Marchbanks appeared to value his fingers so
much that nothing seemed farther from his intention
than to bring them into the vicinity of Tobias.

" Why don't you do as you are told, man.'^ There
it is in the corner, straight in front of your nose."

Mr. Marchbanks, however, still seemed wholly un-
able to locate Tobias.

It was left to Miss Perry to play the part of the

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 71

goddess out of the machine. That Scatterbrain, hav-
ing at last clearly realized the situation, came for-
ward to the window curtains, open basket in hand, in
the friendliest and most reassuring manner.

" He is just a sweet," she said to Mr. Marchbanks.
" He never bites a soul if you take him round the
throat gently. There he is, the duckums ! "

Mr. Marchbanks appeared still unable to see
Tobias.

" Do you think," said Miss Perry^ " I had better
take him myself.? "

" Yes, girl," stormed the old lady, " I think you
had better."

Mr. Marchbanks, who seemed to share the opin-
ion of his mistress, stepped back haughtily several
paces.

** Come along, then," said Miss Perry, cooing to
the window curtains. " Come along, Toby, then."
She knelt down and began to grope. *' Come along,
Toby, boy. There he is, the sweet ! "

Very deftly she made a grab at the lurking, lean,
brown form of Tobias, took him by the throat, popped
him into the open basket, and fastened down the lid.

" He wouldn't bite a soul," she said, rising to her
full height, with a smile of invincible friendliness.
** He is just a precious."

" Carry it into the hall ! " cried the old lady.
" Marchbanks, fetch down Ponto."

Poised very insecurely upon a chair, Mr. March-
banks found it not altogether easy to induce Fonto to
quit his place of refuge. At length, however, he was

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72 ARAMINTA

able to restore the quivering quadruped to his
mistress.

In the meantime Miss Perry, with affectionate
pride, had carried the wicker basket into the hall.

" Burden,'' said the old lady, truculently, " that
girl ought to be flogged."

Upon the return of Miss Perry, with uplifted fin-
ger, the old lady ordered her to approach.

" Come here, girl," said she. '^ I think your be-
havior is disgraceful. Were you brought up in a
bam.? »

Such a direct and ruthless mode of address caused
a blush to overspread the extremely picturesque
countenance of Miss Perry. Quite suddenly her great
blue eyes swam with tears.

" Tobias did not mean any harm," said she. *' He
is such a sweet. It was not his fault that I dropped
the basket."

" Let us have no more of Tobias," said the old
lady. " Now understand " — the finger went up again
— ^** upon no pretext whatever will I allow in future
a ferret to enter my drawing-room. I really — ^I —
upon my word ! "

The old lady subsided in an incoherent gurgle of
indignation.

Meanwhile, the sight of tears, as was always the
case, had moved the tender heart of Miss Burden.

" Dear Lady Crewkerne," said she, " Miss Perry
has had a long journey. I feel sure she must be tired.
Would she not like a little refreshment? "

The mention of the word refreshment seemed un-

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 73

mistakablj to touch a responsive chord in the sus-
ceptible mechanism of Miss Perry.

" Bring some tea," said the old lady to Mr. March-
bfimks very gruffly. And then to the culprit she said
with tremendous austerity, " Would you like some-
thing to eat? "

" Oh yes, please," said Miss Perry. At the same
moment she mopped up her tears with an absurdly
small handkerchief with a blue-spotted border.

'* What do you eat, as a rule? " said the old lady,
with a sarcasm that was not in the least obvious to
Miss Perry.

" I eat bread and jam, as a rule," said Miss Perry,
with a promptitude that was delightfully persuasive.

" Hmnph," said the old lady. She measured Miss
Perry with her grim old eyes as though she were a
rare specimen in the Zoological Garden. " Bread and
jam," said she. And then, with an air of really tre-
mendous sarcasm, she said for the guidance of a dis-
creet spectator, " Have the goodness, Marchbanks,
to bring some bread and jam."

The old lady made a second survey of Miss Perry,
from the crown of the luckless straw hat to the soles
of the cobbled boots, while the object of it folded up
neatly the handkerchief with the spotted border and
returned it to a mysterious pocket. She then stood
wondering what was going to happen in a singularly
solenm manner.

** Sit down," said the old lady.

Miss Perry sat down spaciously upon a chair that
was particularly fragile.

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74 ARAMINTA

" The most uncomfortable creature I have ever
seen,'' said the old lady in an aside to her gentle-
woman. " Quite out of place in a drawing-room."
And then to Miss Perry : " Have you ever been in a
drawing-room before? "

" Oh yes," said Miss Perry.

"Where?" said the old lady.

" We have one at home," drawled Miss Perry, *' but
it is only a little one."

*^ Ah," said the old lady. " And where is your
home, pray? "

" I live at the Parsonage at Slocum Magna," said
Miss Perry.

" Humph ! " said the old lady. " Some kind of
clerical bear-garden, I presume."

The providential reappearance of Mr. March-
banks came to the aid of Miss Perry. He bore a
massive silver tray with an equally massive silver tea-
pot upon it. There was also an exquisite plate of
old blue china. Upon this were five tiny pieces of
bread and butter, each a little larger than Miss
Perry's thumbnail, each arranged at an artistic
angle, and each spread with a very thin layer of jam.

A beautiful table of rare Indian inlay work was
set before Miss Perry. Mr. Marchbanks placed the
silver tray upon it.

Miss Perry immediately sat very upright indeed.
\ " Thank you so much," sadd she. Her air was so
charmingly sincere that it went some way towards
reconciling Mr. Marchbanks to many things.

The old lady mounted her eyeglass again. It was

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 76

clear from the general irony of her demeanor that she
was expecting some kind of development. In this ex-
pectation she was not disappointed.

For a moment Miss Perry appeared to be rather
troubled by the waferlike texture of the bread and
jam. It was only for a moment, however. Without
waiting to pour out the tea into the tiny blue china
cup that had been provided for its reception, she
proceeded very carefully to pile each of the wafer-
like pieces of bread and jam one upon another. These
by their united efforts having become a tolerable-
sized morsel. Miss Perry opened her mouth with pen-
sive deliberation, and placed therein gently but firmly
the five pieces as one.

If there is a combination of words in the English
language which can express the manner in which the
old lady turned to meet the half -frightened gaze of
her gentlewoman, it is certainly not in the possession
of her biographer. Miss Perry, however, masticated
her morsel with superb unconcern.

'* Burden, have the goodness to ring the bell," said
the old lady, with formidable politeness.

Mr. Marchbanks entered. As a preliminary meas-
ure his mistress fixed that diplomatist with her eye.
She literally dared him to move a muscle.

** Marchbanks,'' said she, " have the goodness to
bring another plate of bread and jam."

Mr. Marchbanks made a bow worthy of a recep-
tion at the Foreign Office.

** Thank you so much," said Miss Perry.

The old lady turned to Miss Perry, who appeared

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76 ARAMINTA

to be stimulated by the morsel she had eaten, and
even more so by the prospect of another.

" By the way," said the old lady, " where is Slocum
Magna? "

Miss Perry's blue eyes, which by now were per-
fectly dry, opened to a width that was astonishing.
The ignorance of London people was really very
remarkable.

** Slocum Magna is the next village to Widdif ord,"
said Miss Perry.

"Ah, yes, the next village to Widdiford. One
ought to have known."

The manner in which Miss Perry strove to exten-
uate the painfully obvious ignorance of her august
and formidable relation was really a triumph of good
breeding.

" They haven't quite got the railway at Widdiford
yet, don't you know," said Miss Perry, " but it is
only three miles away, of course."

" The railway is only three miles away, of course,"
said the old lady, assenting with a grim chuckle.

The arrival of the second relay of bread and jam
imposed silence upon Miss Perry. The faithfulness
with which it was dealt with was quite equal to that
previously displayed. It is no exaggeration to say
that Miss Burden still looked a little frightened, while
Ponto raised himself on his forepaws with a look of
open admiration.

" By the way, what is your name? " said the old
lady.

A somewhat lengthy pause was necessary to

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 77

enable Miss Perry to do justice to such a leading
question.

" My name is Araminta,'' said she, and her drawl
was carried to such a ludicrous length that even
Ponto smiled at it, although he had very little sense
of humor, " but they call me Goose because I am
rather a Sil-lay."

The beak of the old lady seemed to take an addi-
tional curve. The hanging- judge look had never
seemed so awe-inspiring.

" Your name is Araminta," she repeated with a
deliberation that was positively sinister, " but they
call you Goose because you are rather a silly. Do
they indeed ! "

Miss Perry beamed upon the old lady with a com-
prehensiveness that was perfectly distracting.

" I don't think I am really a silly,'' said she, as if
she were quite convinced she were not, " but Muffin
says I am. It's because I can never remember whether
Tuesday comes after Monday or whether Monday
comes after Tuesday."

" Who, pray, is Muffin.? "

" Muffin is my sister, don't you know," said Miss
Perry. " Her name is Elizabeth really, but we call
her Muffin because she is rather a ragamuffin."

" Humph ! " said the old lady.

By nature she was grave and grim, but it was
Miss Burden's opinion that she had never looked quite
so grave and quite so grim as in the course of this
first interview with the late Lady Augusta's second
daughter.

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78 ARAMINTA

" Burden," said she in a truculent aside, " this
comes of mixing the breed. Polly was a born fool,
but she was never equal to this. What is to be done
with the creature? It was my intention to marry
her respectably so that she might be a help to
her family, who are as poor as mice and who ap-
pear to live like pigs. But who, pray, will marry a
natural? "

Miss Burden, however, was at heart incurably
lenient in her judgments. She demurred with a vigor
she seldom displayed.

" She is a singularly beautiful girl," said Miss
Burden, with enthusiasm. '' Her manner is delight-
fully her own, and she is formed like a goddess and
she is perfectly charming."

" Faugh ! " said the old lady, ruthlessly. *' Burden,
you are a born fool. The creature is an idiot. Look
at her now."

Miss Perry had renounced her chair for political
reasons. She was sitting now in the middle of the
sofa. Her lips were slightly parted and one finger
was unmistakably in her mouth. Her great blue eyes
were gazing far away into vacancy. Also they ap-
peared to be slightly moist. The fact was that at
that moment Miss Perry was back at the Parsonage
at Slocum Magna. Her sister Polly was pouring out
tea for seven in really sensible cups, and Miss Perry
herself was occupied in carving a piece of bread ac-
cording to her personal fancy. At the Parsonage
it was the very rational rule always to cut your own
bread and spread your own jam; both of which, be-

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UNWARRANTABLE BEHAVIOR OF TOBIAS 79

ing made at home, were among the very few things
of which you could have as much as you wanted.

It was doubtless an unfortunate moment for the
higher criticism to observe Miss Perry.

** An extraordinary creature," said the old lady.

" I am reminded of some one,'* said Miss Burden,
** yet I cannot think who it can be. It is somebody
who is celebrated."

" That abandoned straw hat ! " said the old lady.
** It appears to have been originally used for carry-
ing vegetables."

** She reminds me of some one," said Miss Burden,
plaintively. " Who can it be, I wonder? "

And then the unexpected happened. Mr. March-
banks announced : " The Earl of Cheriton."

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CHAPTER Vn

A THROWBACK

CHERITON entered, bearing a small parcel, with
a certain ostentation.

" Caroline," said he, " as I was coming out of
Truefitt's I remembered that for the first time in
forty years I had forgotten to give you a present on
your birthday. Last year I gave you a Bible. This
year I have brought you this."

He cut the stritig of the parcel, and handed the
present to Caroline Crewkerne.

With a grim, but not ungrateful, inclination of the
second-best turban, the recipient began to relieve the
present of its numerous trappings. A small but ex-
pensive hand-glass was exposed to view.

" Thank you, Cheriton. A very charming pres-
ent."

" I hope it pleases you, my dear Caroline," said
Cheriton, with quite the bel air. " You have so long
defied time that I felt a memento of his impotence
might appeal to you."

" Thank you, Cheriton," said the redoubtable
Caroline. " It is very kind to remember an old
woman."

^^ A woman Is as old as she looks," said Cheriton,
" as Byron says."

80

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A THROWBACK 81

"Byron?"

" I ascribe every truism to Byron. It confers a
factitious importance, which at the same time is per-
fectly saf e.4 Everybody pretends to have read Byron,
yet nobody has.'*

" Burden has read him, I believe."

Miss Burden sighed romantically.

Lord Cheriton shook his finger at Miss Burden
with arch solemnity.

" No boy under the age of twenty should be per-
mitted to smoke cigarettes," said he. "And no
woman under forty should be permitted to read
Byron."

Caroline Crewkeme snorted.

" By the way," said Cheriton, " now I am here, I
must pay homage to my duchess."

He took a half turn in the direction of the sofa.
Miss Perry was still seated upon it in her pensive atti-
tude. She was still gazing into vacancy, and she
was somewhat in the shadow.

Immediately to the left of Miss Perry, intervening
between her and Aunt Caroline, was the object that
claimed for the moment the whole of Cheriton's at-
tention. Rightly so, indeed, for it was nothing less
than one of the world's masterpieces. It was a full-
length portrait in a massive gilt frame : a truly regal
canvas in the full meridian splendor of English art.
Under the picture, in bold letters, was the magic
legend, " Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, by Gains-
borough."

Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, was a young girl in

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82 ARAMINTA

her teens, in an inordinately floppy hat of the period.
Her countenance, ineffably simple, was a glamor of
pink and white; her lips were slightly parted; the
wonderful blue eyes were gazing into vacancy; and
one finger was unmistakably in her mouth.

Cheriton, having fixed his glass with some elabora-
tion, slowly backed a few paces, and yielded to the
pose he always affected in the presence of this noble
work.

In silence he stood to absorb the poetry, the
innocence, the appeal of youth. He sighed pro-
foundly.

" Caroline," he said, " I would give a whole row
of Georgiana Devonshires for this. In my humble
judgment it has never been equaled."

" Grandmamma Dorset wears well," said Caroline,
with a grim chuckle.

^* It ought to be called ' Simplicity ' ; it ought to
be called * Innocence.' Upon my word of honor,
Caroline, I always feel when I look at the divine Ara-
minta that I want to shed tears."

Caroline Crewkerne snorted.

" Cheriton," said she, " I have noticed that when
a man begins life as a cynic he invariably ends as a
sentimentalist."

" Caroline," said her old friend, sighing deeply,
" you are a pagan. You have no soul."

" Burden has a soul," said the contemptuous Caro-
line. ** In my opinion she would be better without
it."

" How ironical it is," said Cheriton, " that you.

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A THROWBACK 83

who distrust art so profoundly, should have such a
masterpiece in your drawing-room."

*' I am given to understand that a committee would
like to buy it for the nation," said the owner of the
masterpiece, with a gleam of malice.

" Caroline, you promised years ago that if the time
ever came when money could buy Araminta she should
go to Cheriton House."

*' Well, the time has not come yet."

" When it does come, I shall hold you to your
promise."

While Cheriton continued his examination of
Gainsborough's masterpiece, Caroline Crewkeme said
to her gentlewoman —

" Burden, get my spectacles."

Cheriton turned away from the picture at last.
Naturally enough his gaze alighted on the sofa.
Sitting in the center thereof was the wonderful Miss
Perry. She was still at Slocuin Magna. She had
got to her third slice of bread and jam. Polly was
pouring out a second sensible cup. Dearest Papa
had just made one of his jokes. Charley and Milly
were conducting an argument as to who was entitled
to the cake with the currants in it. Miss Perry's
blue eyes were unmistakably moist ; and although she
was not actually sucking her finger, there could be
no doubt that at any moment she might begin to do
so. And the inverted vegetable basket that crowned
her seemed to flop more than ever.

It was no wonder that Cheriton gave a little excla-
mation. A lover of beauty in all its manifestations,

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84 ARAMINTA

he had an eye for nature as well as for art. And
here, side by side with Gainsborough's masterpiece,
making due allowance for a number of trifling de-
tails which did not in the least affect the subject, was
an almost exact replica of that immortal work. Cher-
iton, in spite of his foibles, had the seeing eye.
Notwithstanding the cobbled boots, the print
frock, and the cloak with the hood, one thing was
clear. Here was Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, in
the flesh.

He swung round to his old friend with the glass
leaping out of his eye.

" Caroline,'* he cried, " a throwback ! "

That old woman gazed through her spectacles at
the occupant of the sofa. Miss Perry, still at Slocum
Magna, was debating seriously whether a fourth slice
of bread and jam was within the range of practical
politics.

" Cheriton,'' said Caroline, coolly, " I believe you
are right."

Surprise and enthusiasm began to work great
havoc with the amateur of the fine arts.

*' Upon my word,'' said he, " it is the most won-
derful thing I have ever seen in my life. A pretty
trick of old Mother Nature's."

" Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton," said Caroline,
wamingly.

" A perfect throwback ! " said that amateur.

Once more his gaze was brought to bear on the
distracting occupant of the sofa, whose hair was the
color of daffodils and whose eyes reminded him of the

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A THROWBACK 85

sky of Italy. He approached her with an empresse-
ment that was tremendous.

" I have no need to ask," said he, " whether the
famous duchess is a kinswoman.'*

Miss Perry returned from Slocum Magna with a
little start. She removed her finger from her lip, yet
her thoughts were not of famous duchesses.

In the meantime the redoubtable Carohne said
nothing. All the same she was watching everything
with those relentless eyes of hers.

Miss Perry exhibited neither surprise nor embar-
rassment at being sununoned so peremptorily from
Slocum Magna by such a magnificent specimen of the
human race. Perhaps her wonderful blue eyes opened
a little wider and she may or she may not have hoisted
a little color; but it really seemed as though her
thoughts were more concerned with bread and jam
than with Lord Cheriton.

. " Will you pardon an old worshiper of your
famous ancestress if he asks your name? " said he.
". I hope and believe it is a legitimate curiosity."

' Miss Featherbrain made an effort to cease wool-
gathering. She smiled with a friendliness that would
have disarmed a satyr.

" My name is Araminta," she drawled in her hope-
lessly ludicrous manner, " but they call me Groose be-
cause I am rather a Sil-lay."

Cheriton gave a chuckle of sheer human pleasure.
He was to be pardoned for feeling that a new delight
had been offered to an existence which had long ex-
hausted every aesthetic form of joy.

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86 ARAMINTA

*^ Your name is Araminta," he repeated by a kind
of hypnotic process, " but they call you Goose be-
cause you are rather a silly."

Miss Perry rewarded Lord Cheriton with an indul-
gent beam. It assured him that he had had the good
fortune to interpret her correctly. It was not easy
for that connoisseur to withdraw his enchanted gaze.
However, at last he contrived to do so. He turned to
his old friend.

" Caroline," said he, " the fairies have fulfilled my
wish. I have always wanted to meet a Gainsborough
in the flesh and to hear what she had to say for her-
self. And now I have done so I know why Gainsbor-
ough painted 'em."

" Faugh ! " said the old lady, vigorously, " senti-
mentality is the national bane."

" No, Caroline," said Cheriton, sadly, " you've no
soul. Why don't you present me? "

" My niece. Miss Perry," said Caroline. " Lord
Cheriton, my old friend."

" Oh, how do you do? " said Miss Perry, shooting
forth her hand in her own private and particular
manner to Aunt Caroline's old friend. " I hope you
are quite well."

The manner in which Cheriton enclosed the ample
paw of Miss Perry, which nevertheless, speaking rela-
tively, contrived to appear long and slender, in
his own delicately manicured fingers was almost
epic.

" Miss Perry," said he, " this is a great moment
in my life."

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A THROWBACK 87

** Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton," said Caroline
Crewkerne with great energy.

No one made tullex use than that old woman of the
privilege accorded to age of being as rude as it
pleases. But it was so necessary that the wearer of
the vegetable basket should not get notions under it
before she had been in Hill Street an hour.

" My dear Miss Perry," said Cheriton, with the
magniloquent air with which he asked an occasional
question in the Hereditary Chamber, " are you ac-
quainted with the vast metropolis ? "

" I have always lived at Slocum Magna," said Miss
Perry with perfect simplicity.

" Really," said my lord, with an insincere surprise.
'* By the way, where is Slocum Magna .'^ "

Doubtless owing to the fact that she was a duke's
granddaughter, Miss Perry had excellent if some-
what rustic breeding. Brains were not her strong
point, but she had been long enough in London to
anticipate almost instinctively Lord Cheriton's in-
quiry. Moreover, her astonishment at the ignorance
of London people was softened by the friendly indul-
gence she extended to everybody on the slightest pre-
text.

" Slocum Magna," said Miss Perry, without the
least appearance of didacticism, '* is the next village
to Widdif ord. They haven't quite got the railway at
Widdiford yet, don't you know, but it is only three
miles away."

The absence of the railway at Widdiford appeared
to decide Cheriton upon his course of action. With

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88 ARAMINTA

the air of a man whose mind is quite made up, he ad-
dressed the fair inhabitant of Slocum Magna, North
Devon.

" As an old friend of your accomplished aunt's,"
said he, " of many years' standing, I feel that during
your sojourn in the vast metropolis it is only wise
and right that I should act, as it were, m loco pa-
rentisJ*^

Although Miss Perry's papa was a very good
classic, he had been unable to communicate his excel-
lence in the dead languages to his second daughter.
Miss Perry made no secret of the fact that she had
an earnest desire for a little more enlightenment.

" A sort of combination, you know," said Cheriton,
lucidly, " of a courier and a cicerone and a sincere
well-wisher. One feels sure it will help you at first to
have some one to guide you through the traffic."

" Burden is quite competent to see that she doesn't
get run over," said the accomplished aimt of Miss
Perry.

" Also, my dear Miss Perry," said Cheriton, mel-
lifluously, " you may require a little advice occasion-
ally from a man of the world. The vast metropolis
is full of pitfalls for your sex."

" We have poachers at Slocum Magna," said Miss
Perry.

" The metropolis is different," said Cheriton. " I
regret to say it harbors every known form of wicked-
ness."

Miss Perry's eyes opened so wide that they seemed
to magnetize my lord.

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A THROWBACK 89

'* Are there r-r-robbers? "

** A great number. They lurk in every thorough-
fare. If you are really unacquainted with the vast
metropolis I urgently recommend advice and protec-
tion.''

" How splendid ! " said Miss Perry. ** I shall write
to tell Muffin.*'

"Would it be an unpardonable curiosity if one
inquired who is Muffin? "

** My sister, don't you know ; her name is Elizabeth
really. But we call her Muffin because she is rather
a ragamuffin."

** Your family appears to be a singularly in-
teresting one, if one may presume to form an
estimate."

" Papa says we are none of us very bright, but we
are all of us very healthy, except Doggo, who has had
the mange twice."

My lord found it necessary to repeat the dictum of
Miss Perry's papa. He then sat down beside her in
a truly paternal manner.

" Tell me about your papa," said he, musically.
" I am inmiensely interested in him. One feels one
ought to have so many things in common with such
a papa as yours."

" Papa is just as sweet ^" began Miss Perry,

with a perfectly delightful fervency. But she got no
farther.

Aunt Caroline uplifted an immutable finger.

" Araminta," said she, " it is time you went up to
dress. Burden, take her to her room."

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90 ARAMINTA

Miss Perry rose at once with a docility that was
charming. She bestowed her most frankly indulgent
beam upon Lord Cheriton, and quitted the drawing-
room in Miss Burden's custody.

Cheriton screwed his glass into his astonished eye
to gaze after such magnificence.

" A goddess ! " said he. " Juno ! A great work
of nature."

He prepared to take his leave.

" I am afraid, Caroline,'' said he, " your memory
begins to fail a little."

" Rubbish."

" Do you know how long it is since you asked me
to dine with you? "

" You refused three times running. I am
determined that no human being shall refuse a
fourth."

"Well, you know," said Cheriton, coolly, "you
were just a little difficult the last twice I dined with
you, and the wine was abominable. And with all that
excellent claret that you have, and that '63 port,
and that really priceless madeira — really, Caroline,
considering what your cellar can do if it chooses, the
wine was unpardonable. Still, I am in no sense a vin-
dictive man. I'll dine with you this evening."

" Thank you, Cheriton," said Caroline, dryly.
" Eight o'clock."

" Eight o'clock."

My lord took his leave with a jauntiness that re-
called the vanished era of his youth.

Two hours later the noble earl was back in Hill

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A THROWBACK 91

Street. He looked particularly soignS in the choicest
of evening clothes. They fitted his corseted form to
perfection.

** Where is the fair Miss Araminta? " said he,
yielding his arm to his hostess.

** My niece is dining upstairs this evening," said
Caroline Crewkeme.

Profoiuidly distrusting the ap{)earance of the
sherry and the claret, the guest made a modest de-
mand for whisky and soda. The fare was scanty,
but what there was of it was not ill cooked. Also
Caroline was not so tiresome as he had anticipated.
Doubtless she was a little exhilarated by the doings
of the day. She was a very sharp-witted old woman.
Her shrewdness had already foreseen that the ap-
pearance of a highly original niece in a somewhat
moribund menage might bring renegades back to HUl
Street craving pardon. A glimpse of the immediate
future was afforded by the spectacle of a peculiarly
spick and span Cheriton seated between Miss Burden
and herself.

The turn of events lent an old-time pungency to
what had once ranked as the most malicious tongue in
London.

" Upon my honor," said the enchanted guest, " my
dear CaroUne, you are quite at your high-water mark
this evening."

Caroline valued that kind of compliment, and she
acquiesced in it grimly. Cheriton*s remark was quite
sincere ; and in order to attest his bona fides he told a
story that caused Miss Burden to spill the salt, while

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92 ARAMINTA

only the intervention of a miracle averted a more
signal disaster to the claret.

Cheriton was duly rewarded. By the time they
had got to the mahogany — Caroline Crewkerne was
a stickler for old fashions — the hostess said in an
aside to Mr. Marchbanks, " The madeira and the '63
port wine."

There can be little doubt that Cheriton was sus-
tained throughout a not particularly exhilarating
function by the hope of seeing the peerless Miss Ara-
minta in the drawing-room afterwards. In this, how-
ever, he was disappointed. The tardy minutes
passed, but Miss Araminta did not appear. At last
in desperation he was moved to inquire —

" Where hides the reluctant fair? "

" Speak English, Cheriton."

** The adorable Miss Perry."

" The creature is in bed," said Caroline, incis-
ively. " It is a long journey from Slocum Magna
for a growing girl."

^^ Is one given to understand that she made the
whole journey in a single day?"

** In something under twenty-four hours, I be-
lieve," said Caroline. " Express trains travel at such
a remarkable rate in these days."

In the circumstances there was only one thing for
Cheriton to do, and this he did. He took his leave.

In the privacy of his hansom on the way to the
Gaiety Theatre he ruminated exceedingly.

" That old woman," he mused, " has got all the
trumps in her hand again. A disagreeable old thing,

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but she does know how to play her cards when she
gets 'em."

The stall next to Cheriton's was in the occupation
of no less a person than George Betterton.

" Hallo, George," said he; " you in London ! "

" Ye-es," said George, heavily. He did not seem
to be altogether clear upon the point. " The War
Office people are in their usual mess with the Militia."

" But she is at Biarritz."

" I have another one now," said George, succinctly.

The noise and flamboyance of the ballet rendered
further conversation undesirable. However, Cheriton
took up the thread of discourse at the end of the act.

** George," said he, with considerable solemnity,
** like myself you have grown old in the love of art."

George's assent was of the gruffest. Cheriton was
going to be a bore as usual.

" You remember that Gainsborough of Caroline
Crewkeme's? "

" Ye-es," said George. ** I offered her twenty
thousand pounds for it for the Cheadle Collection."

" Did you, though ! Well, mind you don't renew
the offer. The refusal of it was promised to me in
Crewkerne's lifetime."

George began to gobble furiously. He looked as
though he wanted to call some one a liar.

** Well, it's too soon to quarrel over it," said Cher-
iton, pacifically, ^* because she doesn't intend to part
with it to anybody at present."

** She's a perverse old woman," said Greorge, ** and
age don't improve her."

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94, ARAMINTA

*' I mentioned her Gainsborough," said Cherlton,
who was on the rack of his own enthusiasm, " because
a very odd thing has happened. The original of that
picture has found her way into Hill Street."

" What ! Grandmother Dorset ! " said George, con-
temptuously. " Why, she's been in her grave a Jiim-
dred years."

"An absolute throwback has turned up at Hill
Street," said Cheriton, impressively. " If you want
to see a living and breathing Gainsborough walking
and talking in twentieth-century London call on Caro-
line Crewkerne some wet afternoon."

George Betterton was not at all aesthetically
minded. But like so many of his countrymen he al-
ways had a taste for *' something fresh."

" I will," he said. And he spoke as if he meant
it.

Then it was that Cheriton grew suddenly alive to
the magnitude of his indiscretion. Really he had
acted with consimimate folly ! He had a clear start
of all the field, yet through an unbridled natural en-
thusiasm and a hf elong love of imparting informa-
tion he must needs within an hour set one of the most
dangerous men in England upon the scent.

George Betterton had his limitations, but where
the other sex was concerned he was undoubtedly that,
as Cheriton had reason to know. A widower of nine
and fifty, who had buried two wives without finding
an heir to his great estates, there was little doubt
that he meant to come up to the scratch for the third
time, although to be sure of late his courses had not

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seemed to lead in that direction. But Caroline Crew-
kerne, who knew most things, seemed quite clear upon
the point.

Yes, George Betterton's " I will " had a sinister
sound about it. Cheriton himself was five and sixty
and a bachelor, and in his heart of hearts he had
good reason to believe that he was not a marrying
man. He had long owed his primal duty to a posi-
tion in the world ; and, to the scorn of his family and
the amusement of his friends, he had not yet fulfilled
it. He was too fond of adventures, he declared ro-
mantically — a confession that a man old enough to
be a grandfather ought to be ashamed to make, de-
clared the redoubtable Caroline, with her most fear-
some snort. More than once, it is true, Cheriton had
fancied he had seen the writing on the wall. But
when his constitutional apathy permitted him to ex-
amine it more closely, he found it had been written
for some one else.

However, he had come away from Hill Street that
evening in such a state of suppressed enthusiasm,
that in his present mood he was by no means sure
that he had not seen the writing again. It was cer-
tainly odd that a man with his record and at his
time of life should have any such feeling. But there
is no accounting for these things. Therefore he left
the theater with an idea taking root in him that he
had been guilty of an act of gross folly in blowing
the trumpet so soon. Why should he help to play
Caroline's game? He should have left it to her to
summon this Richmond to the field.

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96 ARAMINTA

" Caroline will lead him a dance, though," mused
Cheriton on the threshold of Ward's. " And I know
how to handle the ribands better than he does. He's
got the mind of a dromedary, thank God ! "

In the meantime the cause of these reflections was
lying very forlorn and very wide-awake in the most
imposing chamber in which she had ever slept. The
bed was large, but cold; the chintz hangings were
immaculate, but unsympathetic; the engravings of
classical subjects and of august relations whom she
had never seen with which the walls were hung, the
austere magnificence of the furniture, and the expen-
sive nature of the bric-4-brac, made Miss Perry yearn
exceedingly for the cheerful simplicity of Slocum
Magna.

Almost as far back as Miss Perry could remem-
ber, it had been given to her before attempting re-
pose to beat Muffin over the head with a pillow. But
in this solemn piece of upholstery, which apparently
had been designed for an empress, such friendly hap-
penings as these were out of the question.

However, she had Tobias with her. The wicker
basket was on a little lacquered table beside her bed ;
and as she lay, with a slow and silent tear squeezing
itself at regular intervals out of her blue eyes, she
had her right hand resting firmly but aff^ectionately
on the lid of Tobias's local habitation. That quaint
animal, all imconscious of the honor done to him, was
wrapped in slumber, with his ugly brown nose tucked
under his lean brown paws.

Thus was Miss Perry discovered at a quarter to

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eleYen that eYening when Miss Burden a[itered to
embrace her.

'^ I want to go home to Slocum Magna," said Miss
Perry, with a drawl and a sob whose united effect
must have been supremely ridiculous had it not been
the offspring of legitimate pathos.

Miss Burden offered her the consolaticm of one
intimately acquainted with pathos. Every night for
many long and weary years she had longed to go
home to her own rustic hermitage, which, however,
had no existence outside her fancy.

^^ Dearest Araminta," said Miss Burden, caressing
her affectionately, " you will soon get used to the
strangeness."

^^ I want to go home to Slocum Magna," sobbed
Miss Perry.

^' I am sure you are a good and brave and noble
girl," said Miss Burden, who believed profoundly in
goodness and bravery and nobility.

" Papa said I was," sobbed Miss Perry, settling
her hand more firmly than ever upon the basket of
Tobias.

" To-morrow you will feel happier, Araminta dear-
est," said Miss Burden, bestowing a final hug upon
the distressed Miss Perry.

Miss Burden was guilty of saying that which she
did not believe, but let us hope no one will blame her.

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CHAPTER Vni
**CAEOLnrE ceewkerne's Gainsborough"

FROM the moment that ^ Caroline Crewkeme's
Gainsborough " came upon the town there was
no denying her success. She was a new sensation;
and happy in her sponsors the diminished glories of
Hill Street emerged from their eclipse. If old Lady
Crewkerne derived a grim satisfaction from the abso-
lute possession of the nine days' wonder, Cheriton was
one of the proudest and happiest men in London. He
took to himself the whole merit of the discovery.

" I assure you," he declared to a circle of the elect,
" that blind old woman would never have seen the
likeness. It was quite providential that I happened
to look in and point it out."

In matters of art Cheriton's taste was really fas-
tidious. And in addition to his other foibles no man
was more susceptible to beauty. Every morning for
a week he called at Hill Street, to view his discovery
more adequately in the full light of day. It was in
vain, however, that he tried to surprise her. She was
kept very close.

For one thing the creature had positively no clothes
in which to submit to the ordeal of the public gaze.
Almost the iSrst thing Caroline Crewkerne did was to
send for her dressmaker, who was commanded to

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" CREWKERNE'S GAINSBOROUGH " 99

make Miss Perry ** appear respectable," and was
given only three days in which to perform the opera-
tion.

" I assure your ladyship it is impossible in three
days," said the dressmaker.

" If that is your opinion," said her ladyship, " I
shall go elsewhere."

As it was her ladyship's custom to pay her bills
quarterly, on the morning of the fourth day Miss
Perry came down to breakfast in a blue-serge cos-
tume. It was rigid in outHne and formal in cut. In
fact, it had been chosen by Miss Burden, and had
been wrought in the style affected by that model of
reticent good taste.

It was in this attire, surmounted by a straw hat of
the regulation type in lieu of the inverted vegetable
basket, that Cheriton saw Miss Perry for the second
time.

**What are you thinking of, Caroline?" said he
tragically. " Where is your instinct? It is a gross
act of vandalism to consign a genuine Gainsborough
to the tender mercies of a woman's tailor."

" Pooh," said Caroline.

All the same Cheriton was roused to action. At
noon next day a cab appeared at the door of Caro-
line's residence. It contained a milliner and twenty-
two hats in twenty-two boxes. The milliner said she
had instructions to wait for Lord Cheriton.

The redoubtable Caroline's first instinct was to
order the milliner off the premises.

** Gross impertinence," she declared.

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100 ARAMINTA

However, the perverse old woman had a liberal
share of reason. Cheriton had his foibles, but em-
phatically he knew on which side of the bread to
look for the butter. In all matters relating to this
world, from racehorses to French millinery, wise peo-
ple respected his judgment.

At five minutes after midday Cheriton himself ap-
peared in the company of an amiable, courteous, and
distinguished foreigner.

"What, pray, is the meaning of this invasion?"
said Caroline, with a snort of hostiUty.

" This is Monsieur Duprez,'* said Cheriton, " the
great genius who comes to London twice a year from
Raquin's at Paris."

Monsieur Duprez, overwhelmed by this melodious
flattery, very nearly touched the Persian carpet with
his nose. Caroline scowled at him.

" Cheriton," said she, " who has given you
authority to turn my house into a dressmaker's
shop.?"

" I have the authority," said Cheriton, " of a pure
taste unvitiated by Whig prejudice and Victorian
tradition. Miss Burden, will you have the great
goodness to summon Nature's masterpiece so that
Art, her handmaiden, may make an obeisance to
her ; and might I also suggest that you procure Lady
Crewkeme's knitting.? "

Miss Burden, thrilled by the unmistakable impact
of romance, waited with animation for permission to
obey my lord.

" I will not have my niece tricked out like a play-

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" CREWKERNE'S GArNSBORODGH ' lOl

actress," said CaroKne. " Cheriton, understand that
clearly."

Cheriton, feeling his position to be impregnable,
was as cool as you please. As is the case with so
many people, his coolness bordered upon insolence.
Caroline was so much the slave of her worldly wis-
dom that in a case of this kind she would be compelled
to bow the knee to an array of acknowledged experts.
Besides, it was so easy for Cheriton to justify him-
self in the most dramatic manner. He pointed his-
trionically to the world-famous Duchess of Dorset.

" Caroline," said he, " if you will take the advice
of an old friend you will attend to your knitting.
Three experts are present. They can be trusted to
deal with this matter effectually. Indeed, I might
say four. Miss Burden, I know you to be in cordial
sympathy with the highest in whatever form it may
manifest itself. Therefore I entreat you, particu-
larly as the time of Monsieur Duprez and Madame Pe-
lissier belongs not to themselves, nor to us, but to
civilization, to produce our great work of Na-
ture, in order that her handmaiden Art may deck
her."

Caroline's hostile upper lip took a double curl, a
feat which was the outcome of infinite practice in the
expression of scorn.

" I hope you will not put ideas into the creature's
head, that's all," said she. " Fortunately she is such
a bom simpleton that it is doubtful whether she is
capable of retaining any. Burden, you may fetch
her."

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Ib'i '"*' ' AftAMINTA

It was a charming April morning, and the sun-
shine was flooding the room. It made a canopy for
Miss Perry as she came in simply and modestly
through the drawing-room door. At once it chal-
lenged that wonderful yellow mane of hers that was
the color of daffodils, which on its own part seemed
to reciprocate the flashing caresses of the light of
the morning. The yellow mane appeared to grow in-
candescent and shoot out little lights of its own. The
glamor of pink and white and azure was very won-
derful, too, as the sunlight wantoned with it in its
own inimitable manner. Here was Juno indeed, and
none recognized the fact so clearly as the Prince of
the Morning.

Monsieur Duprez's eyes sparkled ; Madame Pelissier
gave a little exclamation.

" You have here a great subject," said Lord
Cheriton to those rare artists. " And there you have
the manner in which the great Gainsborough treated
it."

Madame Pelissier disclosed her creations. Hat
after hat was fitted to the daffodil-colored mane.
Cheriton hovered round and round the young god-
dess, surveying each separate effect from every point
of view. His gravity could not have been excelled
by a minister of state.

" They must be enormous," said he, with ever-
moimting enthusiasm. " They must sit at the per-
fect angle. They must be of the hue of the wing
of the raven. Yes, feathers decidedly. And they
must flop like the dooce."

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" CREWKEJINE'S GAINSBOROUGH " 108

** Cheriton,'' said the warning voice, " don't be a
coxcomb."

'' Yes, I like that wicker-work arrangement. The
way it flops is capital. It will do for week-days. But
there must be one for Sunday mornings in which to
go to church."

Madame Pelissier was inclined to be affronted by
Cheriton's extreme fastidiousness. There was not a
single creation in the whole collection which had quite
got " that," he declared, snapping his fingers in the
manner of Sir Joshua.

" Madame PeHssier," said he, solemnly, " it comes
to this. You will have to invoke your genius to create
a Sunday hat for Juno. You observe what Gains-
borough did for her great-grandmamma. Mark well
that masterpiece, dear Madame Pelissier, for je
prends mon bien oii je le trouve."
* " Carte blanche, milor? " said Madame Pelissier,
with a little shrug.

** Absolument," said my lord. " Give a free rein
to your genius, ma chfere madame. Crown the young
goddess with the noblest creation that ever conse-
crated the drab pavement of Bond Street."

" I warn you, Cheriton," said the aunt of the
young goddess, " I will not have the creature figged
out like a ballet-dancer or a female in a circus."

'* Peace, Caroline. Where is your knitting? " He
shook a finger of warning at her. " Really, Caroline,
you must refrain from philistlne observations in the
presence of those who are dedicated to the service
of art."

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104 ARAMINTA

Caroline snorted with great energy.

Monsieur Duprez, crowing with delight, was ab-
sorbing Gainsborough's masterpiece.

" I haf it," said he, tapping the center of his fore-
head, " ze very ting."

" May it prove so, my dear Duprez, for then we
shall have a nine days' wonder for the town."

Thus it will be seen that in the beginning " Caro-
line Crewkeme's Gainsborough," as she was so soon
to be christened by the privileged few who write the
labels of history, owed much to Cheriton's foresight,
judgment, and undoubted talent for stage manage-
ment.

She reaDy made her debut at Saint Sepulchre's
Church — in which sacred and fashionable edifice, I
regret to say, her aunt Caroline was an infrequent
worshiper — and afterwards in Hyde Park on the
second Simday morning in May.

At least a fortnight before the great occasion
Cheriton had declared his intention to the powers that
obtained in Hill Street of making Miss Perry known
to London on the first really bright and warm Sim-
day morning that came along. Thanks to the be-
havior of providence, her church-going clothes ar-
rived the evening before the weather; whilst only a
few hours previously a deft-fingered jewel of a maid
had arrived expressly from Paris, at the instance of
the experts, who was learned in the set of the most
marvelous frocks and hats, and who also was a rare
artist in the human hair.

Therefore let none confess to surprise that Miss

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" CREWKERNE'S GAINSBOROUGH " 106

Perry was the innocent cause of some excitement
when she burst upon an astonished world. Mr.
Marchbanks was the first to behold Miss Perry, when
on this historic second Sunday morning in May she
quitted the privacy of her chamber fittingly clothed
to render homage to her Maker. He beheld her as
she came down the marble staircase in an enormous
black hat with a wonderful feather, a miracle of har-
monious daring, and in a lilac frock, not answering,
it is true, in every detail to that in which her famous
great-grandmamma had been painted by Gainsbor-
ough, but none the less a triumph for all concerned
in it. However, to judge by the demeanor of shocked
stupefaction of the virtuous man who first encoun-
tered it, who himself was about to accompany Mrs.
Plunket to Divine worship, this was an achievement
that was not to the taste of everybody. In the opin-
ion of Mr. Marchbanks it might be magnificent, but
it was not religion.

By one of those coincidences in which real life in-
dulges so recklessly, Miss Perry had not reached the
bottom of the stairs when Cheriton, duly admitted by
John, and himself armed cap-drpie for Divine wor-
ship in a brand-new wig, with freshly dyed mustache,
light gray trousers, lilac gloves, white gaiters, and a
gardenia in his buttonhole, was enabled to take up a
strategical position in the entrance-hall.

His greeting was almost as melodramatic as his
appearance.

'* A positive triumph ! " he cried. " My dear young
lady — my dear Miss Perry — ^my dear Miss Ara-

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106 ARAMINTA

minta, the highest hopes of a sanguine temperament
have been exceeded. Art, the handmaiden, has done
her work noblyj but of course the real triumph be-
longs to Nature.*'

'* Isn't my new frock a nice one? " said Miss Perry.

** Incomparable."

** It is almost as nice as the mauve one Muffin had
last summer but one," said Miss Perry.

It seemed to Cheriton that the speech of Miss
Perry was absurdly suited to her clothes. He led her
proudly to the morning-room.

" Caroline," said he, " prepare for the conquest of
London."

That old woman had never looked so fierce. As a
preliminary she snuffed the air.

" Burden," said she, " cease behaving like a fool
and have the goodness to get my spectacles."

Miss Burden obeyed her in a kind of delirium.
The scrutiny of the powers was severe and prolonged.
There was no approbation in it.

" An old-fashioned respect for the English Sun-
day," said Caroline, " precludes my going to church
with a tableau vivant.**

Cheriton scorned her openly.

" You perverse woman," said he, " why are you so
blind? Here is a triumph that will ring through the
town. Are you prepared to identify yourself with it
or are you not? "

Caroline Crewkerne subjected her niece to a second
prolonged and severe scrutiny.

" Humph," said she, ungraciously.

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" CREWKERNE'S GAINSBOROUGH " 107

However, she was a very shrewd old woman. Fur-
ther, she was a very clear-sighted old woman, who
knew herself to be what Cheriton did not hesitate to
proclaim her. She was a philistine. Upon any mat-
ter which impinged upon life's amenities she was far
too wise to trust her own judgment. Cheriton, on
the other hand, in spite of an inclination towards
the bizarre and the freakish, she allowed to have
taste.

" I shall go to church," she announced to her gen-
tlewoman.

She spoke as if she were flinging down a gauntlet.

The Church of Saint Sepulchre, as the elect do
not need to be told, is quite near to Hill Street. Caro-
line Crewkeme was ready to start ten minutes before
the service began.

" Easy, Caroline," said Cheriton, studying his
watch reflectively ; " there is no hurry."

" Even if they bore one," said Caroline, " it is not
good manners to be disrespectful to the oiSciating
clergy."

Cheriton, however, although he advanced no posi-
tive reasons why disrespect should be offered to the
ofBciating clergy, showed a marked disposition for
Divine Service to begin without him. He loitered and
loitered upon absurdly flimsy pretexts. And just as
the procession was about to start from the door of
Caroline's residence he mislaid his umbrella.

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CHAPTER IX

IN WHICH CHEEITON DROPS HIS ITMBRELI4A

*^T^TEVER mind your umbrella," said Caroline,
i\ tartly.

" I must mind my umbrella," said Cheriton, plain-
tively. " If one attends Divine worship in London in
the middle of the season without one's umbrella, one
is bound to be taken for an agnostic."

" John," demanded Caroline, " what have you done
with his lordship's umbrella? "

" You placed it here, my lord," said John, indi-
cating an umbrella with an ivory handle and a gold
band.

" Nonsense," said Cheriton. " I don't own an
umbrella with an ivory handle."

John looked at the gold band and assured his lord-
ship imperturbably that his name was upon it. Cher-
iton examined it himself.

" It is the name of my father," said he. " How
the dooce did an umbrella with an ivory handle come
into the possession of my father ! "

The clock in the hall slowly chimed eleven. The
procession started for Saint Sepulchre's with the re-
doubtable Caroline in a decidedly unchristian temper,
with Miss Burden profoundly uncomfortable, with
Miss Perry innocently absorbed in her new frock and

108 Digitized by Kj WVJ V lAL

CHERITON DROPS HIS UMBRELLA 109

preoccupied with the modest hope that the passers-
by would notice it; whilst Cheriton walked by her
side apparently without a thought in his head
save the ethical significance of an ivory-handled
umbrella.

" I remember now, my dear Miss Araminta," said '
he. " It was given to my grandfather of pious mem-
ory as a token of esteem by that singularly consti-
tuted monarch George the Fourth."

" I am sure it must be almost as nice as Muffin's
was," said Miss Perry. " That old gentleman with
the white mustache turned round to look at it."

"Did he.'*" said Cheriton, iSxing his eyeglass
truculently.

" MuflSn's was mauve," said Miss Perry. " But I
think lilac is almost as nice, don't you.'* "

" It is all a matter of taste, my dear Miss Ara-
minta. Fancy one entering a church in the West
End of London with an umbrella with an ivory
handle!"

"Why shouldn't one, pray.?" snorted Caroline
from the recesses of her bath-chair.

" My dear Caroline," said Cheriton, " it looks so
worldly."

" Humph ! " said Caroline.

Scarcely had the procession reached the outer pre-
cincts of Saint Sepulchre's when its ears were smitten
with the sound of a thousand fervent voices uplifted
in adulation of their Creator.

" There, Cheriton," said Caroline, " now you are
satisfied. We are late."

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110 ARAMINTA

This fact, however, did not seem to perturb Cher-
iton as much as it ought to have done. He even
deprecated the alacrity with which Caroline left her.
bath-chair, and the determined manner in which she
prepared to head the procession into the sacred
edifice.

" Easy, Caroline," said he. " Let 'em get fairly
on to their legs."

As the procession filed very slowly down the central
aisle with the fervent voices still upraised and the
organ loudly pealing, more than one pair of eyes
took their fill of it. There was not a worshiper
within those four walls who did not know who the old
woman was with the hawklike features and the ebony
walking-stick. Nor were they at a loss for the iden-
tity of the distinguished if slightly overdressed gen-
tleman who came in her train. Moreover, the won-
derful creature in the picture hat and the lilac frock
did not fail to inspire their curiosity.

Caroline Crewkeme's pew was at the far end of the
church, next but two to the chancel. The procession
. had reached the middle of the central aisle when there
came a brief lull in the proceedings. The organ was
muffled in a passage of peculiar solemnity ; the fervor
of the voices was subdued in harmony; there was
hardly a sound to be heard, when Cheriton had the
misfortune to drop his umbrella.

The sound of the ivory handle resolutely meeting
cold marble at such an intensely solemn moment was
really dramatic. Not a person throughout the whole
of the sacred edifice who could fail to hear the impact

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CHERITON DROPS HIS UMBRELLA 111

of the ill-fated umbrellar For the umbrella was in-
deed ill-fated. The ivory handle lay upon the marble,
shivered in three pieces. Almost every eye in the
church seemed to be fixed upon the owner of the um-
brella. A wave of indignation, which seemed to
make the air vibrate, appeared to pass over the con-
gregation. Not only did the owner of the umbrella
come late to church, but he must needs disturb
the sanctity of the occasion by mundanely drop-
ping his umbrella with extraordinary violence and
publicity.

From a little to the left of Cheriton, as he stood
ruefully surveying the wreck of his umbrella, there
penetrated cool and youthful tones.

" My aunt ! " they said, " who is the gal the old
blighter's got with him? "

** Sssh, Archibald ! *' came a sibilant whisper ;
and then arose a louder and more decisive, " Over-
dressed ! "

A drawl that was charmingly sympathetic, yet of
a length that was really absurd, seemed to float all
over the church in the most delightfully subtle con-
volutions.

" What a pity ! " it could be heard to proclaim by
all in the vicinity. " It cannot be mended. They
couldn't mend Muffin's when she dropped hers at the
Hobson baby's christening."

With a naturalness so absolute did the Amazon
with the daffodil-colored mane stoop to assist her
cavalier to retrieve the fragments of the shattered
umbrella, that it seemed almost to the onlookers that

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112 ARAMINTA

she had mistaken the central aisle of Saint Sepul-
chre's at 11:15 a.m. on the second Sunday in May
for the middle of Exmoor.

" My aunt ! " said the cool and youthful tones,
" the gal's tophole."

" Sssh, Archibald ! " said the sibilant whisper.
" Dear me, what loud manners ! Sssh, Archibald !
don't speak during the Confession."

CaroKne Crewkerne and her gentlewoman had been
kneeling devoutly upon their hassocks for at least two
minutes by the time Cheriton and Miss ?erry arrived
at the second pew from the chancel. Cheriton bore in
his right hand a fragment of ivory; in the left the
decapitated body of his umbrella. Somehow his ex-
pression of rue did not seem to be quite so sincere as
the circumstances and the surroundings warranted-
In the right hand of Miss Perry was a prayer-book ;
in the left two fragments of ivory. The gravity of
her demeanor was enough to satisfy the most sensitive
beholder.

After the service, as Caroline Crewkeme's party
was moving out of the church, it was joined by no
less a person than George Betterton. Like Caroline
herself, he was an infrequent worshiper at Saint
Sepulchre's.

"Hallo, George!" said Cheriton. "What the
dooce has brought you to church? "

Cheriton was not sincere in his inquiry. He knew
perfectly well what had brought George to church.
The responsibility for his appearance there was his
entirely.

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CHERITON DROPS HIS UMBRELLA 113

" The weather, Cheriton," growled George sol-
emnly. " Fine momin' to hear a good sermon."

" I don't approve of candles on the altar," said
Caroline Crewkerne in a voice that all the world might
heed. " Far too many Roman practices have crept
into the service lately."

" You are perfectly right, Caroline," said Cheri-
ton. " That is my opinion. I intend to lodge a
complaint with the Vicar."

" How are you, Caroline.? " said George, with affa-
bility. " It is a great pleasure to see you at church."

" It is a pleasure you might afford yourself oft-
ener," said Caroline, grimly.

George cast an envious eye to the front. Cheriton,
walking with the lilac frock and the picture hat ten
paces ahead of the bath-chair, appeared to be com-
ing in for a good deal of public attention.

" How does it feel, Caroline," said George Better-
ton, " to go to church with Grandmother Dorset? "

" Do you mean my niece, Miss Perry? " said she,
huffily.

"Perry, eh? A girl of PoUy's ? "

" Don't you see the likeness? " said Caroline, with
a little snort.

" No, I don't," said George. " She resembles Polly
about as much as Cheriton resembles a Christian."

" I agree with you, George," said Caroline Crew-
kerne.

" She reminds me of what you were in the 'Fifties,
Caroline," said George, obviously trying to be agree-
able.

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114 ARAMINTA

« I

'A compliment," sneered its recipient.
Gaps on the big side. A regular bouncer ; but,
by George ! "

His grace paused on the apostrophe to his natal
saint.

" Carries her clothes like Grandmother Dorset,"
said he.

" It is a great responsibility," said Caroline, " for
a woman of my age to have a creature like that to
look after."

"Money?"

" Not a sou."

" Pity," said George, whose standards were
frankly utilitarian. "Fine-looking gal. Cheriton
appears to think so."

By now the space between the bath-chair and the
first pair in the procession had been increased to
twenty paces.

" Cheriton," called the old lady, " this is not a
coursing match."

Cheriton checked politely to await the arrival of
the powers.

" Dear me! " said he; " are we walking quickly?
Miss Araminta moves like a fawn in her own West
country."

" Girl," said the old lady, " don't walk so quickly.
You are now in Hyde Park, not in a lane in Devon-
shire."

" You come from Devon," said George Betterton,
addressing Miss Perry with an air of remarkable
benevolence, " where the cream comes from, eh? "

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CHERITON DROPS HIS UMBRELLA 116

If we assert positively that Miss Perry made a
gesture of licking her lips in a frankly feline man-
ner, we lay ourselves open to a scathing rebuke from
the feminine section of our readers. They will assure
us that no true lady would be guilty of such an act
when walking in Hyde Park on a Sunday morning
with the highest branch of the peerage. Yet we are
by no means certain she did not. At least, the ges-
ture she made was highly reminiscent of a feat of
that nature.

" They promised to send me some from the Parson-
age," said Miss Perry, wistfully, " but it hasn't come

yet."

" Shame ! " said his grace, with deep feeling. " I'll
go round to Buszard's first thing to-morrer and tell
'em to send you a pot."

*^ Oh, thank you so much," said Miss Perry.

" Pray don't mention it, my dear Miss " said

the Duke, with a somewhat heavy yet by no means
unsuccessful air.

" My name is Araminta," drawled Miss Perry,
with her usual formula ; " but they call me Goose be-
cause I am rather a Sil-lay."

** Charmin'. Call you Goose, eh? Charmin' name."

"A silly name, isn't it.? " said Miss Perry.

*^ Charmin'," said George. " Charmin' name. I'll
call you Groose myself if you have no objection."

** Oh do, please," said Miss Perry, " then I shall
know we are friends."

" Capital ! Shall I tell you. Miss Goose, what they
call me? "

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116 ARAMINTA

** Oh do, please," said Miss Perry.

** They call me Grobo, because they say I gobble like
a turkey."

" What fun ! " cried Miss Perry. " What a splen-
did name ! I shall write to tell Muffin about it."

Miss Perry's clear peal of laughter appeared to
excite the curiosity of a particularly well-groomed
and well-gowned section of the British public which
occupied the chairs along the path. At all events,
it eyed the slow-moving procession very intently.

" Here comes that gal," said the proprietor of the
cool and youthful tones, removing a silver-mounted
stick from his mouth. " She's got another old sports-
man with her."

" Sssh, Archibald ! " said the sibilant voice; " that
is the Duke of Brancaster."

" He's a lucky old fellow," said the voice of youth.
" But if I was that gal I wouldn't walk in the Park
with a chap who has a face like an over-ripe tomato,
and who gobbles like a turkey."

" Sssh, Archibald, dearest! "

The procession was now almost alongside the youth-
ful critic. Miss Perry, a positive queen challenging
the superb May morning in its glamor and its fresh-
ness, with her chin tilted at a rather proud angle, for
she could not help rejoicing simply and sincerely in
the attention that was paid to her new frock, was
flanked upon the one hand by Cheriton, on the other
by George Betterton. Ten paces in the rear came the
bath-chair with its hawklike occupant. Beside it was
Miss Burden with Ponto on a lead.

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CHERITON DROPS HIS UMBRELLA 117

" I tell you what, mater/' said the voice of youth.
*^ If those two old bucks are not ridin' jealous they
will be very soon."

" Sssh, my pet ! " said mamma, placing a particu-
larly neat su^de over the mouth of young hopeful.

" If you call me Goose" — the deliciously ludicrous
drawl was borne on the zephyrs of spring — ^' I may
call you Gobo, may I not.? "

« 'Arry," said a bystander, with a gesture of fe-
rocious disgust to a companion who embellished a
frock-coat with a pair of brown boots, " that's what
they call clawss. It fairly makes you sick. That's
what comes of 'aving a 'ouse of Lords."

The proprietor of the brown boots assented
heartily.

" If I was a nob," said he, " I would learn to re-
spect meself ."

The voice of command came forth from the bath-
chair.

" George," it said, " have you noticed the
tuhps?"

" No," said George; " where are they? "

He looked down at his feet to see if he had trodden
upon them.

"Burden," said the old lady, "take the Dook
across the road to see the tulips."

Somewhat reluctantly, it must be confessed, his
grace permitted himself to be conducted by Ponto
and the faithful gentlewoman over the way to inspect
these specimens of British horticulture.

" Cheriton," said Caroline Crewkerne, " to-morrow

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118 ARAMINTA

you must take my niece to view the National Gal-
lery."

" That will be too sweet," said Miss Perry.

Cheriton bestowed upon his old friend and adver-
sary a look of wariness tempered with gratitude.

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CHAPTER X

JIM LASCELLES MAKES HIS AFFEABANCE

Miss Araminta Perry, Hill Street, London, W., to
Miss Elizabeth Perry, The Parsonage, Slocum
Magna, North Devon.

Dearest Muffin, — London is a much larger
place than Slocum Magna^ hut I don't thmk it
is nearly so nice. I think if I had not got Tobias
with me, sometimes I might be very miserable.

First I must tell you about my new frock. It
is a lilac one^ and has been copied from a fanums
picture of Great Grandmamma Dorset by a
painter named Gainsborough — I mean that
Gainsborough copied Great Grandmamma Dor-
set, not that he made my frock. Madame Pelis-
sier made my frock. It is not quite so nice as
your mauve was, but it is much admired by
nearly everybody in London. When I walk out
in it people often turn round to look at it.

I think the people here are sometimes rather
rude, but Lord Cheriton says I am not to mind,
as people are like that in London. Lord Cheri-
ton is a sweet. Aunt Caroline says he is much
older than he looks, but Miss Burden doesuH
ihmk so. Aunt Caroline must be right, because

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120 ARAMINTA

she is always right in everything, hut Miss Bur-
den is just a sweet. She comes to my room
every night to see if I am miserable. She is
very good to Tobias. Aunt Caroline says she
is too romantic. She had a love affair when she
was younger. Lord Cheriton says I must be
careful that I don^t have one, as they are so bad
for the compleodon. He says he knows as a fact
that all the men in London are untrustworthy.
He says oldish men, particularly if they have
been married twice^ are very dangerous. As
Dearest Papa is not here to advise me. Lord
Cheriton acts as he thinks Dearest Papa would
like him to. He goes out with me everywhere to
see that I come to no harm. Isn*t it dear of
him?

Yesterday Lord Cheriton took me to the Zoo-
logical Gardens to see the elephants. It was
Aunt Caroline's suggestion. She thought we
should find so many things in common. I think
we did; at least I know we had one thing in com-
mon. We are both very fond of cream buns. I
had foury and one of the elephants had five.
But Lord Cheriton says the elepha/nts are so big
you can't call them greedy. We also saw the
bears. They each had a cream bun apiece. Lord
Cheriton says each of them would have eaten
another^ but he thought it hardly right to enr
courage them.

Lord Cheriton is a very high-principled man.
He says I am to be very careful of a perfectly

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 121

charming old gentleman who calls most days to
see Aunt Caroline. I call him Gobo because he
gobbles like a turkey^ and he calls me Goose be-
cause I am rather a sUly. He is a Duke really.
Lord Cheriton doesn^t seem to trust him. He
says it is because of his past life. I heard Lord
Cheriton tell Aunt Caroline that she ought not
to encourage the old reprobate with me in the
house. It is rather dreadful that he should be
like thaty because he is such a dear^ although his
face is so red and he gobbles like anything. He
— Gobo — is going to give me a riding horse so
that I can ride in Rotten Row, as it is so good
for the health. He rides in Rotten Row every
morning. He says my horse wUl be quite as
nice as Squire Lascelles' pedigree hunter was. I
donH think Lord Cheriton approves of it. He
seems to doubt whether Dearest Papa would like
me to be seen much in public with a man who has
no principles.

I have spoken to Miss Burden about it. But
she agrees with Lord Cheriton in everything^
because she considers he is the only perfect man
she has ever met. Miss Burden says his ideals
are so lofty. Aunt Caroline doesnH think so
mtich of Lord Cheriton. She says that all men
and most women are vain, selfish^ worldly^ and
self-seeking. I wish Aunt Caroline could meet
Dearest Papa. And you tooy Muffin dearest.
But I do think Aunt Caroline is mistaken about
Lord Cheriton. I know that he pays great atteri-

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122 ARAMINTA

tion to his appearance^ but I am perfectly sure
he is a Sweet. If he were notj why should he
take so much trouble over my Mac frock and
my new hat^ which I donH think I like because
it makes people stare so; and why should he be
so careful that I should come to no harm^ and
always try to act just as he thinks Dearest Papa
would like him to? I am sure Aunt Caroline
must be mistaken. It must be because people
in London are always cynical. At least that is
what Lord Cheriton says. He says there is
something in the atmosphere of London that
turns the milk of human kindness sour. Isn^t
it dreadful? I am so glad we haven't that kind
of atmosphere at Slocum Magrui^ Muffin dearest.

Lord Cheriton is marvelously clever. Some
of the words he uses are longer than Dearest
Papa^s. He says I am a Throwback. He won^t
tell me what it means. He says it is a dictionary
wordy yet I can*t find it in Aunt Caroline's dic-
tionary. Aunt Caroline says I am too in-
quisitive. Please ask Dearest Papa. He TtnU
certainly know.

Lord Cheriton is very good at poetry. He
says it is because he went to the same school as
Lord Byron. He has written what he calls an
Ode to a LUac Frock. It begins like this: —

Youth is so fair that the Morning^ s smile,
Is touched toith the glamor of a pure delight.

I cannot remember any more, and Aunt Caroline^

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 128

burnt the copy he gave me^ herself personally.
She said he was old enough to know better. But
I think it is awfully clever of him, donH yoUy
Muffin dearest? Miss Burden was very miser'
able about the Ode — I mean^ of course^ about
Aunt Caroline burning it. She scorched her
fingers in trying to rescue it from the flames.
She has a new lilac frocks because Lord Cheriton
admires lilac frocks so much. She looks a Sweet
in ity although Awnt Caroline says she looks a
perfect fright. Aunt Caroline always says what
she meanSy but I don^t think she always means
what she says. She said some perfectly wicked
things about Tobias when the poor darling
escaped from his basket and hid behind the draw-
ing-room curtains. But I think that was be-
cause Ponto was frightened. Ponto is a little
Horror. I think I shall persuade Tobias to bite
him.

Aunt Caroline says if I behave well I am to
go to Buckingham Place to see the Qtieen. If I
do go I am to have another new f rocky although
I am sure I shall never get one half so nice as my
lUac is. I do wish I could go in that. I am
sure the Queen would like it; but when I told
Aunt Caroline she told m>e to hold my tongue.
The frock I am going to see the Queen vn is all
white, which Lord Cheriton says is his favorite
color because it is the emblem of virginal purity.

I have not had a single game of hockey since I
came to London. Lord Cheriton says they only

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124 ARAMINTA

play hockey in London when the Thames is
frozen over^ which happens only once in a blue
moon. I do call that siUy^ don't youy Muffin
dearest? when we have a mixed match at Slo-
cum Magna every Wednesday all through the
wvnter.

Last night I went to a party in my n£W even-
ing frock. Everybody liked it — at leasts they
said they did. One or two young men told me
they admired it immensely. Wasn't it dear of
them? Lord C. and Gobo were there. They
didn't think it was cut a bit too low. I am so
pleased. I wish, Muffin dearest, that you and
Polly and MUly had one like it, because I am
sure it must be awfully expensive. And what
do you think? Aunt Caroline has given me a
string of pearls to wear with it which once be-
longed to Great Grandmamma Dorset. I do
call that British, don^t you? They are supposed
to be very valuable. Lord C. and Gobo both
thought the party was a great success. Atmt
Caroline went to sleep most of the evening.

A fortnight next Wednesday Aunt Caroline is
going to give a dance because of me. It was
Lord Cheriton who persuaded her, and he is ar-
ranging everything. Aunt Caroline and he
cannot agree about the champagne for supper.
Aunt Caroline says that claret cup was conr
sidered good enough when she came out. Lord
Cheriton says that civilization has advanced
since those days. I thought it sounded unkind

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 126

to Aunt Caroliney hut Miss Burden says Lord
Cheriton ccm't help putting things epigram-
matically,

Theuy toOf Muffin dearest^ I must tell you thai
Aunt Caroline and Lord Cheriton have almost
quarreled over Gobo. Lord C. insists upon not
inviting the harmless old dear. He says if he
comes to the ball he will abuse the zsnney yet drink .
more of it than is good for hiniy and that he zMl
play bridge all the evening and be a nuisance
to everybody. Lord Cheriton says he always
vitiates an atmosphere of virginal purity by
saying and doing things that he oughtnH, I
suppose Lord Cheriton wUl have to have his
wayy because he is acting as a sort of deputy to
Dearest Papa. He has already kissed m>e several
times " paternallyy** which is really awfully sweet
of him; and every day he warns me to beware of
Gobo and to be very careful that he does not go
too far.

This is alt this time. Muffin dearest. I send
heaps and heaps of love and kisses to you and
Polly and MUly and Dickie and Charley a/nd
poor blind Doggo; and to Dearest Papa I send
twelve extra special kisses. I remain always
your most affectionate sister

Goose.

P.S. — Tobias sends his fondest love.

This letter may enable the judicious to discern
that although the conquest of London by the lilac

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126 ARAMINTA

frock and the daffodil-colored mane proceeded apace,
all was not harmony in Hill Street, W. To Cheriton's
masterly stage management there can be no doubt
much of the triumph was due, but he unfortunately
was the last man in the world to underrate his own
achievement. " Cheriton can't carry com '' was the
trite but obviously just manner in which George Bet-
terton summed up the situation.

No two persons knew Caroline Crewkeme quite so
well as these old cronies. And no one save Caroline
Crewkerne knew them quite so well as they knew each
other. It required a very experienced hand to hold
tShe balance even between them. Let it be said at once
that one was forthcoming in that very worldly wise
old woman.

This was quite as it should be. For it was won-
derful how soon it was bruited about in the parish
that two Richmonds had already entered the field.
Both were eligible, mature, and distinguished men,
and, both were more popular than in Caroline's opin-
ion they ought to have been. As she said in her sar-
castic manner, she knew them both too well to have
any illusions about them. Les hommes moyens sen-
suels, said she.

Not, of course, that Caroline's opinion prevented
their entrances and exits in Hill Street at all hours
of the day and of the evening becoming a subject of
comment. There were those, however, who were
favorably placed to watch the comedy — or ought we
to call it farce now that criticism has grown so sensi-
tive upon the point? — ^who were by no means enam-

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 127

ored of the spectacle. The fair protagonist was so
authentic.

However, the gods were looking, as they are some-
times. And the manner in which they contrived to
mark their attention was really rather quaint. They
inserted a bee in Cheriton's cool and sagacious bonnet.

" My dear CaroKne," said he, one morning when
he paid a call, " do you know I have taken a fancy
to have a copy of Grandmother Dorset to stick in
the little gallery in Grosvenor Square."

" Humph ! " said Caroline, ungraciously.

" Don't say ^ humph,' my dear Caroline," said
Cheriton, melodiously ; ** it makes you look so
plain."

**I have never allowed that picture to leave my
drawing-room," said she, " for public exliibition or
on any other pretext, and I don't see why I should do
so at this time of day."

*^ There is no need for it to leave your drawing-
room," said Cheriton, persuasively. " A man can
come here to copy it if you will grant him the use of
the place of a morning."

" I don't see why," said Caroline, " my drawing-
room should be turned into a painter's studio."

" It is quite a simple matter," Cheriton explained.
** A curtain can be rigged up and drawn across the
canvas, and you won't know it's there."

Caroline yielded with reluctance.

" There is a young fellow of the name of Las-
ceUes," said Cheriton, '^ whom I believe to be quite
competent to make a respectable copy."

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128 ARAMINTA

" A Royal Academician? '*

" God bless me, no! The young fellow. is only a
beginner." r

"I fail to see why I should grant the u;se of my
drawing-room," said Caroline, " to a pfersdn who is
not a member of the Rpyal Academy. And. what an
inferior copy by some Wretched dauber wiH profit
you, I cannot imagine."v

" I am afraid," said Gheriton, with the air of one
imparting a state secret, " I am going JGrainsborough
mad. If I canH have Grandmother Ijorseit at pres-
ent for Cheriton House, I intend to Kave something
as near to her as I can get. And, in ny( ^opinion, this
young fellow Lascelles is the very rnaii to make a
faithful copy of the peerless original, ije has had
the best possible training for color, and, like myself,
he is a Gainsborough enthusiast.^

Without further preface, James Lascelles found
his way to Hill Street one fine spring morning. He
was armed with the tools of his trade, and with a
great piece of canvas some eighty-four inches by
fifty.

Jim Lascelles was a cheery, healthy, young fellow,
about six feet two, and undoubtedly a supremely at-
tractive representative of the English nation. How
a man of Cheriton's cool penetration, who rejoiced in
such a sound working knowledge of things as they
are, should have fallen so easily and so blindly into
the trap that had been laid for him is one of those
matters upon which only the most inconclusive specu-
lations can avail us. Doubtless he thought that a

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 129

young fellow so obscure as Jim, who was as poor as
a mouse, and in no way immodest in his ideas, could
be trusted implicitly with such a trifling commission.
And doubtless he could have been had those Persons
Upstairs- played the game. But of course they don't
always '^ and a man as wise as Cheriton ought to have
known it.

All that Cheriton condescended to know on this
important and wide-reaching subject was that Jim
Lascelles " hadn't a bob in the world," and that he
was good to his mother. He was not even aware that
the mother of Jim, by some obscure mode of reason-
ing peculiar'.to her kind, felt that Jim was bound to
turn out a'^^great genius. Nor was he aware that on
that naif pretext she had pinched and scraped in the
most heroic manner to spare enough from her modest
pittance to give Jim three years' training in Paris
in the studio of the world-renowned Monsieur Gillet.
Indeed, there is no reason to believe that Lord
Cheriton had any special faith in Jim or in his genius.
He merely believed that he could intrust a little com-
mission with perfect safety, and with profit to both
parties, to a modest, sound-hearted, pleasantly medi-
ocre young fellow.

Now, at the hour Jim Lascelles made his first ap-
pearance in Hill Street, that is just about what he
was. Sometimes, it is true, he would have occasional
dreams of coming greatness. But he never mentioned
them to anybody, because, in his own mind, he was
convinced that they were due to having supped later
than usual. He troubled very little about the future.

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180 ARAMINTA

He worked on steadily, striving to pay his way ; and
if he never expected to see his " stuff " on the line in
the long room at^ Burlington House, he did hope some
time to sell it a little more easily, and to get better
prices for it from the dealers.

If he could go once in three years to Kennington
Oval to see Surrey play the Australians, or if he could
afford a couple of tickets occasionally for the Chelsea
Arts Club Fancy Ball at Covent Garden, or his funds
were sufficient for him to take his mother to the dress-
circle of a suburban theater to see a play that ended
pleasantly, and he was always able to buy as much
tobacco as he wanted, he didn't mind very much that
he worked very hard to earn very little. He argued
quite correctly that many chaps were worse off than
Jim Lascelles. He had splendid health, and he had a
splendid mother.

No sooner had John received Jim Lascelles on this
memorable forenoon, and the mighty canvas that
accompanied him, which was in the care of two
stalwart sons of labor, than the fun really began. In
the first place, it was only with infinite contrivance
that it was got through the blue drawing-room door,
which, fortunately for Jim — and dare we say for
Cheriton? — ^was part and parcel of a spacious and
lofty Georgian interior. All the same, some sac-
rifice of white paint was involved in the process,
which was deemed a sacrilege by at least one witness
to it.

However, our old friend John did not overawe Jim
Lascelles as much as he had a right to expect to,

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LAiSCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 181

because Jim had been bom and brought up at the
Red House at Widdif ord, and he went to quite a good
school before the crash came.

" A shocking bad light," said Jim, surveying the
aristocratic . gloom of the blue drawing-room as
though it belonged to him. " Better stick it there."

With considerable hauteur, John superintended
the rearing of the unwieldy canvas in the place Jim
Lascelles had indicated. It involved the moving of
the sofa six yards to the left. To do this, in the opin-
ion of John, almost required a special Act of Parlia-
ment. It was certainly necessary to get the authority
of Mr. Marchbanks before it could be moved an inch.
Jim, however, being a young fellow who liked his own
way, and who generally managed to get it, cheer-
fully removed the sofa himself while John was seek-
ing the permission of his chief. When that aston-
ished functionary returned, the two stalwart sons of
labor were performing their final duties. He had,
therefore, to be content with a stem admonition as
to where they put their feet while they fixed up the
canvas.

Jim Lascelles was not given to unbridled enthu-
siasms, but the discovery of Araminta, Duchess of
Dorset, by Gainsborough, seemed greatly to disturb
him.

" Ye gods ! " said Jim, " it is a crime to keep the
heritage of the nation in a light like this." He turned
to John, who held his chin in the air, the incarnation
of outraged dignity. " I say," said he, " can't you
draw those blinds up higher? "

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132 ARAMINTA

" No, sir," said John, superciliously, " not without
her ladyship's permission."

"Where is her ladyship? " said Jim. ** I should
like to see her."

" Her ladyship is not at home, sir," said John,
with emphasis.

" Well," said the imperturbable James, " those
blinds will undoubtedly have to go up higher."

And Jim Lascelles, doubtless to prove to all whom
it might concern that he was in the habit of respect-
ing his own opinion, walked up to the window, un-
loosed the cords, and hauled up the Venetian blinds
to their uttermost. Various additional beams of the
May sunshine rewarded his action.

" Now," said Jim, ** perhaps we shall be able to
get some sort of an idea of Gainsborough! at his
best."

We think it is open to doubt whether John had a
feeling for art. At least he seemed to evince no de-
sire to obtain an idea of Gainsborough at his best.
For he merely turned his back upon Araminta,
Duchess of Dorset, and incidentally upon Jim Las-
celles, and proceeded in quite the grand manner to
shepherd the two sons of labor into the street.

This feat accomplished, John made a formal com-
plaint to his official superior.

" That painting man," said he, " goes on as if the
place belonged to him. I don't know what her lady-
ship will say, I'm sure."

" John," said that pillar of the Whigs impres-
sively, " if the education of the masses does not prove

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 188

the ruin of this country, Henry Marchbanks is not
my name."

Miss Perry, in her second-best frock, the modest
blue serge, descended the stairs.

" Has the painting man come yet? " she inquired.

" Yes, miss, he has,'* said John, with venom and
with brevity.

" Do you think I might go in and peep at him.? ''
she said in her ludicrous way. " I should so like to
see a real painting man, painting a real picture with
paints.''

" If you obtain her ladyship's permission, I dare
say, miss, you may do so," said Mr. Marchbanks,
cautiously.

Miss Perry, however, as is the way of her sex,
when her curiosity was fully aroused, was quite capa-
able of displaying a mind of her own.

Miss Perry entered the blue drawing-room noise-
lessly. There was the painting man with his hands
in his pockets. He was standing with his back to
her, and he was entirely lost in contemplation of the
masterpiece he had been commissioned to copy.

" Marvelous ! " he could be heard to exclaim at
little intervals under his breath, " marvelous ! "

This examination of Gainsborough's masterpiece
was terminated long before it otherwise would have
been by the intervention of what can only be described
as a positive crow of human delight.

" Why, it's Jim," said Miss Perry. " Jim Las-
celles."

Jim Lascelles turned about with a look of wonder

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184 ARAMINTA

upon his handsome countenance. At first he said not
a word ; and then he placed both hands upon the stal-
wart shoulders of Miss Perry and gave her a sound
shaking of afi^ectionate incredulity.

" It is the Goose Girl," said Jim. " You great
overgrown thing."

Miss Perry gave what can only be described as a
second crow of human pleasure.

" Why, Jim," said she, " you've got a mustache."

" The Goose Girl," cried Jim, " in the blessed old
town of London."

** Fve been in London three weeks," said Miss
Perry, importantly.

" Fve been in London three years," said Jim Las-
celles, sadly. " What a great overgrown thing !
You are taller than I am."

** Oh no," said Miss Perry ; " I am only six f eeir."

Jim Lascelles declined to be convinced that Miss
Perry was not more than six feet until they had stood
back to back to take a measurement.

** You are an absolute what-do-you-call-'em ! " said
Jim. " Are you as fond of bread and jam and ap-
ples and old boots as you used to be? Or, let me
see, was it Doggo who used to eat old boots in his
youth? "

" I never ate old boots," said Miss Perry, with an
air of conviction.

" Yes, I remember now," said Jim ; " old boots and
kitchen chairs were the only things you didn't eat.
I've had many a licking because the Goose Girl was
so fond of apples,"

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i LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 185

We are sorry to state that Miss Perry's lips suf-
fered an unmistakable twitch.

"Have you ever tasted cream buns, Jim?'* said
she.

** No," said Jim ; " we don't get those refinements
at Balham. But tell me, how is the MufBn Girl, and
the Polly Girl, and the Milly Girl, and Dickie and
Charley, and all the rest of the barbarian horde?
And what is the Goose Girl doing so far away from
Slocum Magna? How has she found her way into
this superlative neighborhood?" The eye of Jim
Lascelles was arrested by Miss Perry's formal blue
serge. " Governess, eh? How funny that the Goose
Girl, with the brains of a bumble-bee, should be
turned into a governess ! "

" Oh no," said Miss Perry. " Didn't you know?
I have come to live with Aunt Caroline."

"Aunt who?"

" Aunt Caroline," said Miss Perry.

" Then she must be one of the grand relations the
Polly Girl used to boast about, that would never have
nothing to do with the family of Slocum Magna."

We hope and trust that neither Aunt Caroline nor
Ponto overheard Jim Lascelles ; in fact, there is every
reason to believe that they did not, because had they
done so, it is our firm belief that this history would
have been over almost as soon as it had begun. Yet
this was the indubitable moment that Ponto and his
mistress chose to make their entrance into the blue
drawing-room. The instant Jim Lascelles caught
sight of the headdress, the black silk, the ebony walk-
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.186 ARAMINTA

ing-stick, and the obese quadruped with gargoyle
eyes, he checked his discourse and bowed in a very be-
coming manner.

" Aunt Caroline/' said Miss Perry, with a presence
of mind which really did her the highest credit, " this
is Mr. Lascelles, who has come to paint the picture."

The old lady fixed her eyeglass with polar coolness.

" So I perceive," said she.

She looked Jim over as if he himself were a master-
piece by Gainsborough, and without making any
comment she and Ponto withdrew from the blue
drawing-room.

" A singularly disagreeable and ill-bred old
woman," said Jim, who had the unfortunate habit of
speaking his mind freely on all occasions.

" Aunt Caroline is rather reserved with strangers,"
said Miss Perry, " but she is a dear, really."

" She is not a dear at all," said Jim Lascelles,
" and she's not a bit like one. She is just a proud,
disagreeable, and unmannerly old woman."

Miss Perry looked genuinely concerned. For Jim
Lascelles was angry, and she felt herself to be per-
sonally responsible for Aunt Caroline. However,
there was one resource left for the hour of affliction.

" Would you like to see Tobias.'* " said she. " I've
got him with me. I will fetch the sweet."

" What, is that ferret stiU alive? " said Jim. " My
hat ! " And then as Miss Perry moved to the draw-
ing-room door, said James, " Oh no, you don't. Come
back and sit there on the sofa if it is quite up to your
weight, and I will show you how to paint a picture."

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 137

" What fun ! '* cried Miss Perry, returning obedi-
ently. " Do you remember teaching me how to draw
cows?"

" Yes, I do," said Jim Lascelles. " You could
draw as good a cow as anybody I ever saw, and that's
the only thing you could do except sit a horse and
handle a ferret and eat bread and jam."

Miss Perry sat in the middle of the sofa. By
force of habit she assumed her most characteristic
pose.

** There was also one other thing you could do,"
said Jim Lascelles. " When you were not actually
engaged in eating bread and jam, you could always
sit hours on end with your finger in your mouth think-
ing how you were going to eat it."

Jim took up his charcoal.

** Groose Girl," said he, " it's the oddest thing out.
Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, had the habit of stick-
ing her paw into her mouth. And I'll take my davy
her thoughts were of bread and jam."

** Cream buns are so much nicer," said Miss Perry,
sighing gently.

** You have grown a perfect Sybarite since you
came to London," said Jim. " Nobody ever suspected
the existence of cream buns at Slocum Magna."

Suddenly, and without any sort of warning, some-
thing flashed through the mind of Jim Lascelles ; and
this by some occult means conferred the air and the
look upon him that gets people into encyclopedias.

" Don't move. Goose Girl," said he. " Do you know
who has painted that hair of yours? "

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188 ARAMINTA

"I dcm't think it has been painted," said Miss
Perry.

" That is all you know," said Jim. " Your hair has
been painted by the light of the morning."

Jim Lascelles laid down his charcoal and took up
the brush that on a day was to make him famous. He
dipped it in bright yellow pigment ; and although, as
all the world knows, the hair of Araminta, Duchess
of Dorset, is unmistakably auburn, Jim began by
jSinging a splotch of yellow upon the great canvas.

" Goose Girl," said Jim, with an expression of joy
that made him seem preposterously fine to look at, " I
have sometimes felt that if it should ever be my luck
to happen upon a great subject, I might turn out a
painter."

" Your mamma always said you would," said Miss
Perry.

"And your papa always said you would marry
an earl," said Jim Lascelles.

Quite suddenly the blue drawing-room vibrated
with a note of triumph.

" Oh, Jim ! I've almost forgotten to tell you about
my lilac frock."

" Have you a lilac frock? "

" You remember the mauve that Muffin had? " said
Miss Perry, breathlessly.

" After my time," said Jim Lascelles. " But I pity
a mauve on the Ragamuffin."

"Muffin's mauve was perfect," said Miss Perry.
*' And my lilac is nearly as nice as Muffin's."

" Put it on to-morrow," said Jim. " Pll inspect

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LASCELLES MAKES HIS APPEARANCE 189

you in it, you great overgrown thing. Now, don't
move the Goose Piece, you silly. The light of the
morning strikes it featly. Really I doubt whether
this yellow be bright enough."

" Jim," said Miss Perry, " to-morrow I will show
you my new hat."

*' Stick your paw in your mouth," said Jim. *' And
don't dare to take it out until you are told to. And
keep the Goose Piece just where it is. Think of
cream buns."

" They are awfully nice," said Miss Perry.

Jim Lascelles dabbed another fearsome splotch of
yellow upon the great canvas.

** Monsieur Gillet would give his great French
soul," said Jim, softly, " for the hair of the foolish
Gk)ose Girl whose soul is composed of cream buns. Ye
Gods!"

Why James Lascelles should have been guilty of
that irrelevant exclamation I cannot say. Perhaps it
was that the young fellow fancied that he heard the
first faint distant crackle of the immortal laughter.
Well, well ! we are but mortal, and who but the gods
have made us so.^^

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CHAPTER XI

MISS PEEEY IS THE SOUL OF DISCRETION

THE next morning at ten o'clock, when Jim
Lascelles appeared for the second time in Hill
Street, he was received in the blue drawing-room by
the lilac frock and its wonderful canopy. Jim gave
back a step before the picture that was presented.

" My aunt ! " said he.

" The frock is a sweet,'* said Miss Perry. " Isn't
it? Muffin's ^"

" Goose Girl," said Jim, " you are marvelous."

" I think the hat must flop a little too much," said
Miss Perry, " in places. It makes people turn round
to stare at it."

" Of course it does, you foolish person," said' Jim,
with little guffaws of rapture. " It is an absolute
aboriginal runcible hat. How did you come by it?
It seems to me there are deep minds in this."

" Lord Cheriton chose it," said Miss Perry.

" My noble patron and employer. It does him in-
finite credit. That hat is an achievement."

" Aunt Caroline doesn't like it," said Miss Perry.
^ Especially in church."

" Aunt Caroline is a Visigoth," said Jim. " Let us
forget her. Sit there, you Goose, where you sat yes-

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MISS PERRY THE SOUL OF DISCRETION 141

terday. And if you don't move and don't speak for
an hour, you shall have a cream bun/'

It was bribery, of course, on the part of Jim Las-
celles, but Miss Perry made instant preparation to
earn the promised guerdon.

" You are so marvelous," said Jim, " that poor
painting chaps ought not to look at you. Oho! I
begin to have light. I begin to see where that lilac
arrangement and that incredible headpiece came
from. By the way. Goose Girl, is it possible that
Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, is one of your grand
relations .^^ "

'* She is my great-grandmamma," said Miss Perry.

" She must be," said Jim. " What has old Dame
Nature been doing, I wonder.'* Copying former suc-
cesses. And old Sir President History, R.A., famous
painter of genre, repeating himself like one o'clock."

Jim Lascelles began to sketch the incredible hat
with great vigor and boldness.

" By all the gods of Monsieur Gillet," said Jim,
vaingloriously, " they will want a rail to guard it at
the Luxembourg."

Yet Jim was really a modest young fellow. Could
H be that already a phial of the magic potion had
been injected into the veins of that sane and amiable
youth?

" Goose Girl," said Jim, ** it is quite clear to me
that if the Duchess was your great-grandmamma,
Thomas Gainsborough, R.A., was my old great-
granddad. Now, don't move the Goose Piece. She
wear-eth a mar-vel-ous hat ! " Jim's charcoal was

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142 ARAMINTA

performing surprising antics. " Chin Piece quite
still. Wonderful natural angle. Can you keep good
if you take your paw out of your mouth? "

" I will try to," said Miss Perry, with perfect
docility.

" We will risk it," said Jim. " Keep saying to
yourself, * Only thirty-five minutes more and I get a
cream bun.' "

*' Yes, Jim," said Miss Perry, with a remarkable
air of intelligence.

" Paws down," said Jim. " Hold 'em thusly.
Move not the Chin Piece, the Young Man said. No,
and not the Whole of the White and Pink and Blue
and Yellow Goose Piece neither."

Perhaps it is not strictly accurate to state that
Jim dropped into poetry as he continued the study of
his subject. But certainly he indulged in a kind of
language which assumed lyrical form.

" Paws down," said Jim. " She approacheth her
Mouth Piece upon pain of losing her Bun. Paw
Pieces quite quiet. Move not the Chin Piece, the
Young Man said."

The blue eyes of Miss Perry were open to their
limit. They seemed to devour the slow-ticking clock
upon the chimney-piece. At last virtue was able to
claim its reward.

" Cream bun, please," drawled Miss Perry, in a
manner that was really ludicrous.

" It can't possibly be an hour yet," said Jim.

"It is," said Miss Perry, with great conviction.
« It is honestly.''

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MISS PERRY THE SOUL OF DISCRETION 148

" Very good," said Jim. ** Young Man taketh
Goose GirPs word of honor." He produced a neat-
looking white paper packet from his coat pocket.
" Goose Girl presenteth Paw Piece," said he, " to re-
ceive Diploma of Merit. A short interval for slight
but well-deserved nourishment."

Miss Perry lost no time in divesting the packet of
its trappings. I don't say positively that her satis-
faction assumed an audible form when she beheld the
seductive delicacy of its contents. But, at all events,
she lost no time in taking a very large bite out of a
bun of quite modest dimensions.

" Jim," said she, " it is quite as nice as the ones
that come from Buszard's."

" It is their own brother," said Jim. " This comes
from Buszard's."

** R-R-Really," said Miss Perry, with a doubtful
roU of the letter R. " But those that Gobo brings
me are larger."

"They grow more than one size at Buszard's,"
said Jim. " Gobo is a bit of a duke, I dare
say,"

** He is a duke," said Miss Perry.

" If I were a duke," said Jim, " I should bring
^you the large size. But as I am only Jim Lascelles
who lives at Balham with his old mother, you will
have to be content with the small ones."

It may have been that Miss Perry was a little
disappointed, because the small ones only meant a
bite and a little one. But she contrived to con-
ceal her disappointment very successfully. Although

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144 ARAMINTA

brought up in the country she had excellent
breeding.

" Jim,'* said Miss Perry, "where is Balham?'*

" Quite a ducal question," said Jim.

" Is it as far from London as London is from Slo-
cum Magna ? " said Miss Perry.

" I acquit you of arriere penseej** said Jim.
" Here is Lord Cheriton. You had better ask him
where Balham is."

That nobleman in resplendent morning attire en-
tered with an air that was fatherly.

" Is it my privilege to make you known to one
another? " said he, with an air of vast benevolence.
" My ward, Miss Perry. Mr. Lascelles, the coming
Gainsborough."

" Oh, I*ve known Jim " Miss Perry began

blurting, when it is grievous to have to inform the
gentle reader that Jim Lascelles dealt her a stealthy
but absolutely unmistakable kick on the shin in quite
the old Widdiford manner.

" Can you tell me where Balham is? " Miss Perry
inquired of Lord Cheriton with really wonderful
presence of mind. But there was a real honest tear
in her eyes ; and tears are known to be an excellent
old-fashioned specific for the wits.

" Certainly I can," said he, with courtly alacrity.
" Balham is an outlying part of the vast metropolis.
It is a most interesting place with many honorable
associations."

" Jim," the luckless Miss Perry was beginning, but
happily on this occasion Jim Lascelles had no need

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MISS PERRY THE SOUL OF DISCRETION 146

to do more than show her hig boot, while Cheriton's
sense of hearing was by no means so acute as it might
have been ; " Mr. Lascelles,'' Miss Perry contrived to
correct herself, " lives at Balham."

" Then we are able,'* said Cheriton, " to congratu-
late Mr. Lascelles and also to congratulate Balham.
But tell me, Lascelles, why you live in an outlying
part of the vast metropolis when the center calls
you? "

" We live at Balham," said Jim, " my mother and
I, because it is cheap and respectable."

" A satisfying combination," said Cheriton. ** I
trust the presence of my ward. Miss Perry, does not
retard the progress of your artistic labors? "

" Quite the contrary, I assure you," said Jim, with
excellent politeness.

** I am glad of that," said Cheriton. " But as you
may have already' discovered. Miss Perry has quite
the feeling for art."

" Yes," said Jim, perhaps conventionally, " I am
sure she has."

" It is a very remarkable case of heredity. You
see, my dear Lascelles, Gainsborough painted her
great-grandmamma."

" So I understand," said Jim, with great solem-
nity.

^^ It is a great pleasure to me, my dear Lascelles,
that Miss Perry's taste in art is so sure. We go to
the National Gallery together, hand in hand as it
were, to admire the great Velasquez."

** He is a sweet," said Miss Perry.

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146 ARAMINTA

" And, my dear Lascelles, we profoundly admire
the great Rembrandt also."

" He 16 a sweet too," said Miss Perry.

" And, my dear Lascelles, together we share — ^Miss
Perry and I — a slight distrust of the permanent
merit of Joseph Wright of Derby. The fact is,
Joseph Wright of Derby somehow fails to inspire our
confidence. One can understand Joseph Wright of
Sheffield perfectly well ; or even perhaps — ^mind, I do
not say positively — Joseph Wright of Nottingham;
but I put it to you, Lascelles, can one accept Joseph
Wright of Derby as belonging to all time.? "

" I agree with you," said Jim. " Yet was there
not once an immortal born at Burton-on-Trent .? "

" I never heard that there was," said Cheriton,
with an air of pained surprise. " And that is a mat-
ter upon which I am hardly open to conviction. By.
the way, Lascelles, which of England's luscious pas-
tures had the glory of giving birth to your genius? "

As a preliminary measure Jim Lascelles showed
Miss Perry his boot.

" I was bom," paid Jim, modestly, yet observing
that the blue eyes of Miss Perry were adequately
fixed on his boot, ** at a little place called Widdiford,
in the north of Devon."

" Yes, of course," said Cheriton, graciously ; " I
ought to have remembered, as your father and I were
at school together. I remember distinctly that it was
the opinion of the fourth form common room that the
finest clotted cream and the finest strawberry jam
in the world came from Widdiford."

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MISS PERRY THE SOUL OF DISCRETION 147

*' It is almost as nice at Slocum Magna/' said Miss
Perry, in spite of the covert threat that was still
lurking in Jim's outstretched boot.

" Quite so," said Cheriton. " Ha, happy halcyon
days of youth, when the cream was really clotted and
the strawberries were really ripe ! But I seem to re-
member that Widdif ord is remarkable for something
else."

Miss Perry was prepared to enlighten Lord Cher-
iton, but Jim's boot rose ferociously.

" Stick paw in Mouth Piece," Jim whispered trucu-
lently, " and merely think of cream bims."

" Widdiford," said Cheriton, " let me see. In what
connection have I heard that charmingly poetic
name? Ah, to be sure, I remember — ^Widdiford is
the place at which they have not quite got the rail-
way, don't you know. Miss Araminta, is not that
the case? "

"Yes," said Miss Perry; "but it is only three
miles away."

"And what is the proximity," said Cheriton, a
little dubiously it is to be feared, " of Widdiford to
Slocum Magna? "

" The best part of two miles," said Jim Lascelles,
boldly taking the bull by the horns. ** Quite a coinci-
dence, isn't it, that we should have lived at the Red
House at Widdiford, and that Miss Perry's papa
should have lived at the Parsonage, at Slocum
Magna? In fact, I seem to remember Miss Perry or
one of her sisters as quite a tot of a girl sitting as
good as pie in the vicarage pew."

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148 ARAMINTA

It was here that Jim's boot did wonders. Miss
Perry was simply besieged by voices from the upper
atmosphere beseeching her to give the whole thing
away completely. She refrained, however. Her re-
spect for Jim's boot enabled her to continue sitting
as good as pie.

That being the case, let us offer this original piece
of observation for what it is worth. Cream buns are
remarkably efficient in some situations, while an un-
compromising right boot is equally efficient in others.
To Jim Lascelles belongs the credit of having assim-
ilated early in life this excellent truth.

Cheriton turned to see what progress Jim Las-
celles had made with his labors.

" Very good progress, Lascelles," said he. Yet
something appeared to trouble my lord. " Upon my
word," said he, " either my eyesight betrays me qpr
the color of your girPs hair is yellow." •

" Is it ? " said Jim Lascelles, innocently. ** Yes,
so it is, as yellow as the Ught of the morning."

" The duchess's hair is auburn, unmistakably."

" Why, yes," said Jim ; " but really, don't you
think yellow will be quite as successful? "

Cheriton gazed at Jim Lascelles in profound as-
tonishment.

" My dear fellow," said he, " I hope you under-
stand what you are commissioned to do. You are
commissioned to make a precise and exact copy of
Gainsborough's Duchess of Dorset for Cheriton
House, not to perpetrate a tour de force of your own.
Upon my word, Lascelles, that hair is really too

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MISS PERRY THE SOUL OF DISCRETION 149

much. And the set of the hat, as far as one may
judge at present, certainly differs from the original.
I am sorry to say so, Lascelles, but really I think in
the interests of all parties it would be well if you
started again."

Jim put his hands in his pockets. Upon his hand-
some countenance was a very whimsical if somewhat
dubious expression.

" Lord Cheriton," said he, solemnly, " the truth is,
if I could have afforded to lose a cool hundred
pounds, which I don't mind saying is more than the
whole of what I made last year, I should not have
accepted this commission. As I have accepted it I
. shall do my best ; and if the results are not satisfac-
tory I shall not look for remuneration."

" Well, Lascelles," said his patron, " that is a
straightforward proposition. I dare say it is this
confounded French method of looking at things that
has misled you so hopelessly. 'Pon my word, I never
saw such hair, and Gillet never saw such hair either.
It is enough to make Gainsborough turn in his grave.
It is most providential that I happened to look in.
Take a fresh piece of canvas and start again."

Jim Lascelles laid his head to one side with a con-
tinuance of his whimsical and dubious air. There
was no doubt that the yellow was extremely bold and
that the hair of the duchess was auburn.

Yet what of the cause of the mischief? There she
sat on the sofa in her favorite pose, blissfully uncon-
scious of the trouble she had wrought, for there
could be no doubt whatever that her thoughts were

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150 ARAMINTA

of cream buns. And further, It seemed to Jim Las-
celles that there could be no doubt either that her hair
had been painted by the light of the morning. Cher-
iton, however, was too much preoccupied with the
duchess to observe that fact.

" My dear Miss Araminta," said he, " as this is a
really fine morning, and this is really the month of
May, let us stroll into the park and watch young
England performing maritime feats on the Serpen-
tine. And after luncheon, if the weather keeps fine,
we will go to the circus."

" What fun ! " said Miss Perry.

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CHAPTER XII

JIM IiASCEIiI.ES TAKES A DECISIVE STEP

CAROLINE CREWKERNE'S " Wednesdays ''
had not been so thronged for many years past.
They had been in their heyday twenty years earlier
in the world's history, when the spacious mansion in
Hill Street was the fount of the most malicious gos-
sip to be obtained in London. But the passing of the
years had bereft Caroline of something of her vigor
and of even more of her savoir faire. She had grown
difficult and rather out of date.

However, it had recently been decreed in the inter-
ests of human nature that Caroline Crewkeme should
come into vogue again. People were to be seen at
her " Wednesdays " who had not been seen there for
years.

There was George Betterton for one. And the
worldly wise, of course, were very quick to account
for his presence, and to turn it to pleasure and profit.
Cheriton and he were both popular men; and about
the third week in May two to one against George and
three to one against Cheriton were taken and oflFered.

" Cheriton is the prettier sparrer,'* said students
of form, " but Gobo, of course, has the weight.''

" I assure you, my dear," said a decidedly influen-
tial section of the public, " the creature is a perfect

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151

162 ARAMINTA

simpleton. I assure you she couldn't say ' Bo ! ' to a
goose. It is inconceivable that two men as old as
they are and in their position should make themselves
so supremely ridiculous. And both of them old
enough to be her father."

" Caroline Crewkeme is behind it all," said the
philosophical. " Her hand has lost nothing of its
cunning. Really it is odious to aid and abet them to
make such an exhibition of themselves."

It is regrettable, all the same, to have to state that
the exhibition was enjoyed hugely. And when the
Morning Post announced that on a certain evening
the Countess of Crewkerne would give a dance for
Miss Perry, there was some little competition to re-
ceive a card.

Cards were liberally dispensed, but when they came
to hand many persons of the quieter and less ostenta-
tious sort found that a little fly had crept into the
ointment. " Fancy dress " was to be seen written at
the top in a style of caligraphy not unworthy of
Miss Pinkerton's academy for young ladies. Miss
Burden had been commanded to do this at the eleventh
hour.

" That man Cheriton is responsible for this," com-
plained those who desired neither the expense nor the
, inconvenience of habiting themselves in the garb of
another age, " because he thinks he looks well in
breeches."

That may have been partly the reason; but In
justice to Cheriton it is only right to state that, un-
less he had found a weightier pretext to advance.

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LASCELLES TAKES A DECISIVE STEP 153

Caroline Crewkerne would never have assented to this
somewhat eccentric condition. Indeed, it was only
after a heated argument between them that Cheriton
contrived to get his way.

** You must always be flamboyant and theatrical,"
gnmted Caroline, " at every opportunity. All the
world knows you look well in breeches."

*' I protest, my dear Caroline," said the mellifluous
Cheriton ; " it is merely my desire to put another
plume in your helmet. The creature will look ravish-
ing as Araminta, Duchess of Dorset. Pelissier shall
come this afternoon to copy the picture de haut en
hasr

" It has been copied once already."

" Ah, no ! It supplied an idea or two merely.
When you see it in every detail precisely as Gains-
borough saw it, you will observe the diff^erence."

" People must be as sick of the picture as I am by
this time."

** Nonsense ! They are only just beginning to
realize that you've got a picture."

Let it not be thought an injustice to Cheriton if
one other motive is advanced for his insistence upon
a somewhat singular course. When the cards of in-
vitation had been duly issued he rather let the cat
out of his bag.

" Of course, Caroline, you would be obstinate,"
said he, " and have your own way about that fellow
George Betterton, but you know as well as I do that
in any kind of fancy clothes he looks like a boa-con-
strictor."

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164. ARAMINTA

At first Cheriton professed himself unable to de-
cide whether he should appear as Charles II. or as
John Wesley. In the end, however, he decided in
favor of the former. Miss Burden had not been so
excited for years. The subject filled her thoughts
day and night for a whole week after the momentous
decision was taken. She then submitted one day to
his lordship at luncheon a peculiarly difficult problem.

" Not a problem at all," said he. " Simplest thing
in the world, my dear lady. There is only one pos-
sible person you can go as."

" I had been thinking of Mary Queen of Scots,"
said Miss Burden, hardly daring to hope that Lord
Cheriton would give his sanction.

'* Mary Queen of who ! " snarled Caroline.

** No, my dear Miss Burden," said the eminent
authority, ** the only possible person you can go as is
Katharine of Aragon."

" Nonsense, Cheriton ! " said Caroline. " I shall
not permit Burden to appear in any such character.
A Jane Austen spinster will be far more appropriate
and far less expensive."

" My dear Caroline," said Cheriton, " how it would
help everybody if you did not insist on airing your
views upon matters of art ! Do you wish Miss Burden
to forfeit entirely her natural distinction .'^ "

Miss Burden blushed most becomingly at his lord-
ship's remark.

"I was not aware that she had any," said the
ruthless Caroline.

" Upon my word, Caroline, even I begin to despair

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LASCELLES TAKES A DECISIVE STEP 155

of you. I assure you Miss Burden is quite one of
the most distinguished-looking women of my acquaint-
ance."

Miss Burden looked almost as startled as a fawn.
Cheriton had never seen her display so much color as
when he made her a little bow to attest his bona fides.
It was rather a pity that his smile unconsciously
resembled that of a satyr ; not, however, that it really
mattered, for although the ever-observant Caroline
duly noted it Miss Burden did not.

" It is twenty-five minutes past two. Lord Cher-
iton," said Miss Perry, putting a sugar-plum in her
mouth, " and you have promised to take me to the
circus."

" Cheriton," said the old lady, " I forbid you to
do anything of the kind. To spend three afternoons
a week at a circus is outrageous."

" They are so educational," said Cheriton. " De-
velop the mind. Show how intelligence can be in-
culcated into the most unlikely things. Horses good
at arithmetic, dogs playing whist, cats indulging
in spiritualism. Very educational indeed. Clown
imitating monkey in lifelike manner. Illustration of
the origin of species. One more sugar-plum, my dear
Miss Araminta, and then Marchbanks will summon a
taximeter, if possible, with a tonneau painted pink."

" Gobo is going to take me to the Horse Show to-
morrow," Miss Perry announced.

" Who, pray, is Gobo.?* " Aunt Caroline and Lord
Cheriton demanded in one breath.

" He asked me to call him Gobo," said Miss Perry,

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156 ARAMINTA

helping herself calmly to sugar-plums, ^^ and I asked
him to call me Goose."

Cheriton's countenance was unmistakably a study.
The same might be said of that of Aunt Caroline.

** My dear young lady," said Cheriton, " this can-
not be. One of the most dangerous men in London.
Really, Caroline, you must forbid that old ruffian
the house. As for the Horse Show to-morrow, it is
clearly out of the question."

" I promised Gobo," said Miss Perry, " and I don't
like to break a promise; do you.? "

" My dear young lady, you are much too young
and inexperienced to make a promise, let alone to keep
one. . I speak as I feel sure your papa would do were
he in my place, and as I know I should do were I in
the place of your papa. Your aunt is quite of that
opinion; I speak for her also. You must not call
that man Gobo, he must not call you Goose, and as
for the Horse Show, it is out of the question."

" But everybody calls me Groose," said Miss Perry,
** because I am rather a silly."

** Caroline," said Cheriton, with much gravity, " if
you will take the advice of your oldest friend you
will forbid that man the house. My dear Miss Ara-
minta, let us try to obliterate a very disagreeable im-
pression by spending a quietly educational afternoon
at the circus."

When on the morning of the great day of the
fancy ball Miss Perry entered the presence of Jim
Lascelles as the faithful embodiment, down to the
minutest particular, of Gainsborough's masterpiece,

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LASCELLES TAKES A DECISIVE STEP 157

that assiduous young fellow was seized with despair.
It took the form of a gasp.

" Goose Girl," said he, " I shall have to give up
coming here. I paint you all the morning, I think
of you all the afternoon and evening, and I dream of
you all night. You know you have rather knocked
a hole ^n my little world."

" There will be ices to-night," said Miss Perry.
" Lord Cheriton almost thinks pink ices are
nicest."

" Confound Lord Cheriton," said Jim, with un-
pardonable bluntness, " and conf oimd pink ices ! "

** I thought I would just put on my new frock,"
said Miss Perry, " to see if you think it is as nice as
you think the Ulac is."

" I have no thoughts at all this morning," said
Jim Lascelles, " about your new frock or about any-
thing else. My mind is a chaos, my wretched brain
goes round and round, and what do you suppose it is
because of? "

" I don't know," said Miss Perry.

" It is because of you," said Jim Lascelles. " Look
at that canvas you've ruined. Yellow hair — Gains-
borough hat — lilac frock — full-fledged cream bun
appearance. You will lose me my commission, which
means a cool hundred pounds out of my pocket, and
my manmia has denied herself common necessaries to
pay for my education. Goose Girl," Jim Lascelles
concluded a little hoarsely, " I am growing afraid of
you. You are a sorceress. Something tells me that
you will be my ruin."

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158 ARAMINTA

" I wish you had seen Muffin's mauve," said Miss
Perry, who showed very little concern for Jim's ruin.

" I have not the least desire to see Muffin's
mauve," said Jim Lascelles. " In fact, I thank the
God who looks after poor painters — if there is such
a Deity, which I take leave to doubt — that I have not
seen it. But I intend to ask you this question : What
right have you. Goose Girl, to grow so extravagantly
perfect, to get yourself up in this ravishing and en-
trancing manner, and then to come to ask a poor
wight of a painting chap, who is daubing away for
dear bread and butter, whether he thinks your new
frock is as nice as the lilac was? "

" Muffin's mauve ^" said Miss Perry.

" Answer me," said Jim, sternly. " You can't.
You are a sorceress. You are a weaver of spells.
Well, it so happens that I am susceptible to them. I
am going to take a decisive step. Goose Girl, it is
my intention to kiss you."

Without further preface or ado Jim Lascelles
stepped towards Miss Perry with extended arms and
eyes of menace. He hugged her literally, new frock
and all, in the open light of the morning; and fur-
ther, he gave her one of the most resounding busses
that was ever heard in that dignified apartment.

" Get rid of that if you are able," said he, bra-
zenly. " And now sit there, as good as pie, while I
put that new gown upon canvas."

Miss Perry did as she was told in a manner that
rather implied that she approved decidedly of the
whole proceedings.

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LASCELLES TAKES A DECISIVE STEP 159

" Goose Girl," said Jim, attacking the canvas,
'* you will either make me or mar me. Sometimes I
feel it might be the former, but more often I am con-
vinced it will be the latter."

" Muffin's mauve cost a lot of monej," said Miss
Perry.

" Paws down," said Jim. " The question now for
gods and men is, can that hair and that frock live
together? "

Jim took up a little looking-glass and turned his
back upon the canvas. He sighed with relief.

" Yes, they can by a miracle," said he. " And yet
they out-GiUet GiUet."

"What will you be to-night, Jim?" asked Miss
Perry.

" Achilles, sulking in my tent."

" Where will you put your tent? " said Miss Perry.
** One can't dance in a tent. And what will you do
when you are sulky? "

" Gnash my teeth and curse my luck."

" I will dance with you twice if you would like
me to," said Miss Perry with charming friend-
liness.

" I shall not be there," said Jim, whose studied
unconcern was rather a failure.

" Not be there ! " said Miss Pei-ry, with consterna-
tion.

" Aunt Caroline has not axed me."

It was some kind of solace to Jim Lascelles that
dismay and incredulity contended upon the usually
calm and unruffled countenance of Miss Perry.

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160 ARAMINTA

" Miss Burden has forgotten you," said she. " I
must speak to her."

Miss Perry rose for that purpose.

" Sit down, you Goose," Jim commanded her.
"Don't speak a word about it to anybody, imless
you want to get me sacked from the house. I am here
on sufferance, a poor painting chap, copying a pic-
ture to get bread and cheese ; and this ball to-night is
being given by the Countess of Crewkeme, for her
niece Miss Perry."

" But, Jim "

" Groose Girl," said Jim, " keep Mouth Piece im-
movable. Move not the Chin Piece, the Young Man
said. Think of cream buns."

" But, Jim " said Miss Perry.

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CHAPTER XIII

HIGH EEVEIi IS HELD IN HILL STREET

ALL the same, Miss Perry did not dance twice
^ with Jim Lascelles that evening. For Jim took
his mother to the Theatre Royal, at Brixton, to wit-
ness a performance of that excellent old-world com-
edy, " She Stoops to Conquer.'*

He did not appear to enjoy it much. He hardly
laughed once, and his mother remarked it.

"What is the matter, my son.?" said she. It
ought to be stated that Jim's mother was absurdly
young to occupy the maternal relation to a great
hulking fellow like Jim.

" There is a ridiculous girl in my head," said he,
*' who is above me in station."

"That Goose.?" said Jim's mother, a little con-
temptuously, it is to be feared.

" Yes, Senora," said Jim. " She is turning my
brain rather badly."

Not unnaturally Jim's mother was amused that
Jim should be so serious.

" If only I had enough money to buy back the Red
House at Widdiford," sighed Jim, " I believe I could
cut out them all."

** She was never able to resist the orchard, and the

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161

162 ARAMINTA

south wall, and the strawberry-beds," Mrs. Lascelles
agreed.

" I never saw such a creature," said Jim. " Those
lilac frocks and those Gainsborough hats are mad-
dening."

" Well, laddie," said Jim's mother, " you must
paint her and make her and yourself famous."

" She is famous already," said Jim. " Worse luck.
She is a nine days' wonder in Mayfair, and certain
to marry a duke."

" That Goose ! " said Jim's mother.

" Yes," said Jim ; " it sounds ridiculous, but it is
perfectly true."

" Well, my son," said Jim's mother, who believed
profoundly in her offspring, " just paint her and jsee
what comes of it."

While Jim Lascelles lay that night with his head
on his arm, dreaming of the Goose Girl, high revel
was held at the house of Caroline Crewkeme, in Hill
Street, W. All ages and both sexes were gathered in
the garb of their ancestors in the spacious suite of
rooms on the second floor. From the moment that
the first seductive strains were put forth by Herr
Blaum's Green Viennese Band, and his Excellency the
Illyrian Ambassador, in the guise of Henri Quatre
or the Duke of Buckingham — ^nobody was quite sure
which — ^accompanied by Diana of Ephesus, a bread-
and-butter miss who looked much too young to be a
duchess, went up the carpetless blue drawing-room,
which seemed at least three times the size it did on
ordinary occasions, as indeed was the case, there was

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HIGH REVEL IN HILL STREET 168

no doubt that Caroline Crewkeme was going to have
a great success.

It is not easy to know whether Red Cross Knights,
Cardinal Richelieus, Catherines de' Medici, and those
kinds of people are susceptible of thrills; but there
was one unmistakably when George Betterton, in the
character of a Gentleman of the Georgian Era, took
the floor with Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, by Gains-
borough, upon his arm.

The less responsible spirits directed their gaze to
Charles II. The Merry Monarch was engaged in
amiable converse with his hostess, who, habited in an
Indian shawl, the gift of her Sovereign, and a jeweled
turban presented to her by the Shah of Persia dur-
ing his last visit to this country, together with the
insignia of the Spotted Parrot duly displayed round
her neck, made her, in the opinion of many, a very
tolerable representation of a heathen deity. As a
Gentleman of the Georgian Era and Araminta,
Duchess of Dorset, by Gainsborough, came down the
room in a somewhat inharmonious manner, owing to
the decidedly original ideas of the former in regard
to the art he was practicing, the amiable and agree-
ably cultivated voice of Charles II. soared easily
above the strains of the waltz and the frou-frou of
the dancers.

" Yes," said that monarch, " the Georgian Era is
sufficiently obvious ; but can anybody tell me what has
happened to the Gentleman? "

The Georgian Era went its victorious way how-
ever, gobbling decidedly, perspiring freely, holding

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164 ARAMINTA

Gainsborough's Duchess in a grip of iron, and slowly
but surely trampling down all opposition with the
greatest determination. When, with coxcomb en-
sanguined, but with a solemn gobble of triumph, he
came back whence he started, a slight but well-de-
fined murmur of applause was to be heard on every
hand.

" Georgian Era wins in a canter,'' one of the know-
ing fraternity could be heard to proclaim. " Evens
on Gobo against the field."

" Duchess," said the Georgian Era, with a bow to
his fair partner, who looked as cool as a cucumber,
" you deserve an ice."

"Yes," said Araminta, Duchess of Dorset, with
grave alacrity, " a pink one, please."

" Bad form," said the Second Charles ; " decidedly
a breach of manners to address her as duchess in the
circumstances. But what can one expect of the
Georgian Era ! "

The Merry Monarch, with the unmistakable air of
the master of the ceremonies, as indeed he was, pro-
ceeded to lead out Katharine of Aragon, who was
seen to great advantage, such was her natural dis-
tinction, and who was that ill-fated queen to the man-
ner born.

" Humph ! " said the Heathen Deity. " For a born
fool she dances very well."

The Second Charles danced like a rather elderly
angel with wings.

The young people also were enjoying themselves.
Eligible yoimg men, and not a single one of the other

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HIGH REVEL IN HILL STREET 166

kind had gained admittance, had each his dance with
the fair Araminta, or the fair Daphne, or the fair
Evadne, or the fair Sweet Nell of Old Drury. Of
course Gainsborough's masterpiece really brooked no
rival, except the great canvas in the left-hand comer,
which, in the full glare of the electric lights, seemed
to do her best to dispute the supremacy of her youth-
ful descendant.

"Yellow hair knocks spots off the auburn," said
an Eldest Son to the Lynx-Eyed Dowager to whose
apron he was very carefully tied.

" A matter of taste," was the rejoinder. " Yellow
is never a safe color. It is well known that it means
doubtful antecedents. They are beginning the lan-
cers. Go, Pet, and find Mary."

Pet, who was six feet five, and had leave from
Knightsbridge Barracks until five a.m., claimed the
Watteau Shepherdess, a real little piece of Dresden
China, who had forty-six thousand in land and
thirty-six thousand in consols, and would have more
when Uncle William permanently retired from the
Cavalry ; and who was perfectly willing to marry Pet
or any one else if her mamma only gave her permis-
sion to do so.

Charles II. sat out the supper dance with the fair
Araminta.

" Miss Goose," said the sagacious monarch,
** never dance the dance before supper if you can
possibly avoid it. You will live longer, you will be
able to do ampler justice to whatever fare may be
forthcoming, you will also be able to get in before the

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166 ARAMINTA

squash; and if the quails run short, as is sometimes
the case, it won't matter so much as it otherwise
might do."

As far as the Merry Monarch was concerned,
however, the precautions against the squash and the
possibility of the quails running short were wholly
superfluous. The pleasantest corner of the best-
situated table had been reserved for him hours be-
fore, and all his favorite delicacies had been duly ear-
marked.

" Miss Goose," said the Merry Monarch, " have
you had an ice yet? "

" I have had seveuy'* said Araminta, Duchess of
Dorset.

" Vrnk ones? " asked the Second Charles.

" Five were pink," said the Duchess, " one was
yellow, and one was green. But I think that 'pvnk
ones are almost the nicest."

" I concur," said the Second Charles.

After supper, before dancing was resiuned, some
incautious person, after gazing upon Gainsborough's
masterpiece and subjecting it to some admiring if
unlearned remarks, pulled aside the crimson curtain
which hid from view Jim Lascelles' half-finished
copy.

" Oho ! " said the incautious one in a loud voice,
" what have we here? To be sure, a Sargent in the
making ! Only Sargent could paint that hair."

The attention of others was attracted.

" I should say it is a Whistler," said a second
critic.

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HIGH REVEL IN HILL STREET 167

" A Sargent decidedly," said a third. " Only he
could paint that hair."

" It is high art, I dare say," said a fourth, " but
isn't it rather extravagant ? "

" If Gillet were in London," said critic the fifth,
who had more instruction than all the others put to-
gether, " I should say it was Gillet. As he is not,
it might be described as the work of a not unskillful
disciple."

Cheriton stood listening.

" It is the work of a young chap named Lascelles,"
said he ; " the coming man, I'm told."

Nobody had told Cheriton that Jim Lascelles was
the coming man, and not for a moment did he be-
lieve that he was ; but he was a member of that use-
ful and considerable body which derives a kind of
factitious importance from the making of imposing
statements. He felt that it reacted upon his own
status to announce that a young chap named Las-
celles was the coming man when not a soul had heard
of the young chap in question.

" I must remember the name," said a broad-jowled
marquis from Yorkshire, who had come up in time
to hear Cheri ton's statement, and who greatly pre-
ferred to accept the judgment of others in the fine
arts rather than exercise his own. " I should like him
to paint Priscilla."

" The very man to paint Priscilla," said Cheriton,
with conviction. And this, be it written to Cheriton's
credit, was genuine good nature,

" What is the subject? " said the first critic.

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168 ARAMINTA

"Why, can't you see?" said a chorus. "It is
Caroline Crewkerne's Gainsborough."

"Which of 'em?"

" The yellow-haired one, of course."

Cheriton screwed his glass in his eye. He had been
the first to detect that the color of the hair was
yellow, and yet for some strange reason the solution
of the mystery had not until that moment presented
itself to him.

" What damned impertinence ! " said he.

" Anybody been treading on your corns, Cher-
iton?" asked several persons.

" Not exactly. But, do you know, I commis-
sioned that fellow Lascelles to make a copy of Ara-
minta, Duchess of Dorset, for Cheriton House."

" And he copies the wrong Araminta ! " came a
shout of laughter. There was really no need to
shout, but immediately after supper that is the sort
of thing that happens sometimes. "A good judge
too."

" Gross impertinence. I think I shall be quite
justified in repudiating the whole transaction."

" Quite, Cheriton," said the marquis, with a very
obvious wink at the company and preparing to jest
in the somewhat formidable Yorkshire manner. " But
it is easily explained. Young fellow got a little mixed
between Gainsborough's Araminta, Duchess of Dor-
set, and Nature's Araminta, Duchess of Brancaster.
Very natural mistake — ^what? "

The arrival upon the scene of the Georgian Era
and the Heathen Deity, the latter walking quite

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HIGH REVEL IN HILL STREET 169

nimbly with very little aid from her stick, set the
circle of art critics in further uproar.

"Who pulled aside the curtain?" demanded
the mistress of the house. " Cheriton, I suspect
you."

" It is my picture, anyhow," said Cheriton, coolly,
although he felt the game was rather going against
him.

•* It is not at all clear to my mind that it is your
picture," said the sharp-witted Caroline, to the de-
light of everybody. " You send a man to copy my
Gainsborough, and he copies my niece."

" A very natural error," said the marquis, " as we
have just explained to Cheriton."

The Georgian Era was seen to grow uneasy. He
began to fumble in his Georgian costume. Obviously
he was not quite sure where the pockets were. At
last, however, he was able to produce a pair of spec-
tacles which he proceeded to adjust.

" Very good likeness," said he, heavily. " Caroline,
when the picture is finished I should like to purchase
it for the Cheadle Collection."

A salvo of laughter greeted this speech, but to
laughter the speaker was constitutionally oblivious.

" The picture is not Caroline's, my dear George,"
said Cheriton. " The young fellow is painting it on
my commission."

" Excellent likeness," said George, tenaciously. " I
shall make you a fair offer, Cheriton, for the Cheadle
Collection."

" I am sorry, my dear George, for the sake of the

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170 ARAMINTA

Cheadle Collection," said Cheriton, amiably ; " but
that picture is not for sale."

" You are quite right, Cheriton," said Caroline
Crewkerne ; " the picture is not for sale. I gave per-
mission for a copy to be made of my Gainsborough,
not of my niece."

" It appears to be a question of copyright," said
a wit.

" I hold the copyright in both at present," said
Caroline, in an exceedingly grim manner.

The strains of the dance began to float through
the room. The younger section of the company had
again taken their partners ; a brace of royalties had
arrived, yet in spite of that jest and counter- jest
were in the air.

•' Cheriton was never in it from the start," said
the marquis, " if you want my candid opinion."

" The luckier he," said the first critic. " What
does any man want with a girl who hasn't a sou, a
country parson's daughter?"

" Healthy, I should say," said critic the second.
" Comes of a good stock on the mother's side."

" Ye-es," said a third. " Useful."

" Finest-looking girl in England," said a fourth.

" They can both afford to marry her," said the
marquis, " and I will lay the odds that the better
man of the two does."

" Cheriton gets her in that event."

" Gobo for a monkey."

All the time, however, in Another Place, the Mas-
ter of the Revels — but, after all, that is no concern
of ours. .. T

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CHAPTER XIV

UNOENTIiEMANLIKE BEHAVIOB OF JIM liASCELI^S

JIM LASCELLES continued his labors. He ar-
rived at Hill Street each morning at ten, and
worked with diligence until two p.m. Urged by the
forces within him, and sustained by the injudicious
counsel of his mother, he devoted his powers to the
yellow hair, in spite of the fact that by the terms of
his commission it was his duty to copy the auburn.

About three days after the dance he was inter-
rupted one morning by Lord Cheriton. Jim was feel-
ing rather depressed. For one thing his conscience
smote him. He had deliberately risked the loss of a
sum of money which he could not afford to lose ; and
further, it was most likely that he was about to offer
an affront to his only patron. The more work he put
into the picture, the more marked became the differ-
ence between it and the original. Again, and this
perhaps was an equally solid reason for his depres-
sion, this morning the Goose Girl had forsaken him.
She had gone for a ride in the park with her duke.

Doubtless Cheriton was sharing Jim's depression.
At least, when he entered the drawing-room to inspect
the labors of his protSge, a countenance which, as a
general rule, made a point of exhibiting a scrupulous
amiability, was clouded over.

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172 ARAMINTA

Cheriton's scrutiny of Jim's labors was long and
particular.

"I invite you to be frank with me, Lascelles,"
said he. " Is this a copy of the Dorset, or is it a
portrait of a living person.'^ "

By nature Jim was a simple and ingenuous fellow.
But really his present predicament was so awkward
that he did not know what reply to make.

" Some of it is Gainsborough/' said Jim, lamely,
" and some of it, I am afraid, is nature."

" I am sorry to say, my dear Lascelles," said
Cheriton, judicially, " that I cannot accept that
as an adequate answer to a straightforward
question."

" No, it is not a very good answer," Jim agreed.

Suddenly his jaw dropped and he burst into a
queer laugh.

" The fact is. Lord Cheriton," said Jim, ** I am in
a hole."

Cheriton regarded Jim in a highly critical manner.

" Yes, Lascelles," said he, slowly. " I think you
are."

" A hole," Jim repeated with additional emphasis,
as if he desired to gain confidence from a frank state-
ment of his trouble.

Jim's odd face seemed to appeal for a little
sympathy, but not a suggestion of it was forth-
coming.

" What can a fellow do? " said Jim, desperately.
•* She will come and sit here on that sofa in a better
Kght than the duchess. The sun of the morning will

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 178

shine upon her; and when Nature comes to handle
pink and white and blue and yellow she has a greater
magic than ever Gainsborough had."

Cheriton shook his head with magisterial solem-
nity.

** LascelleSy" said he, " you have a very weak case.
And I feel bound to say that the manner in which
you present it does not, in my opinion, make it
stronger."

" I expect not," said Jim, ruefully. " But dash it
all, what is a fellow to do if she will come and sit on
that sofa and pose like Romney's Emma.'^"

" His duty is absolutely clear to my mind, and I
think it is simple. He should order the intruder out
of the room."

" Oh yes, I know," said Jim, " that is what a really
strong chap would do." Jim gave a groan. " I
know that is what a Velasquez or a Rembrandt would
have done. And he would have cursed her like fury
for sitting there at all."

** Yes, I think so," said the mellifluous Cheriton.
" Rembrandt especially. In my opinion, Rembrandt
would have shaken his fist at her."

" That is the worst of being a mediocrity," said
Jim, gloomily. " It takes a chap with enormous char-
acter to do these things."

" I am afraid, Lascelles, the plea of mediocrity
will do nothing for you. If anything, it weakens
your case. Personally, if I were advising you I
should say either put in a plea of consummate genius
or do not put in a plea at all."

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174 ARAMINTA

" I am not such a fool as to believe that I'm a
genius," said Jim, with excellent frankness.

" I am not such a fool as to believe you are either,"
said Cheriton, with a frankness that was equally ex-
cellent. " And therefore, examining your conduct
with all the leniency the circumstances will permit, I
am unable to find any palliation for it. I fear my
old friend Lady Crewkerne is much annoyed — for-
give my plainness, Lascelles, but I feel it to be neces-
sary — ^by your intrepidity in copying her niece in-
stead of her Gainsborough; and I, as an old friend
of the house, feel bound to share her disapproval."

" Rub it in. Lord Cheriton," said Jim.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and began to
whistle softly with an air of supreme discomfiture.

*' Yes, Lascelles, I intend to do so. In fact, I find
it difficult to say all that I should like to do upon
the subject, without actually saying more than one
who was at school with your father would feel it de-
sirable to say to a young man who has his own way
to make in the world."

" Say just as much as you like," said Jim. *^ I
know I have made an ass of myself. And of course I
haven't a leg to stand on, really. And I expect the
old cat will have me on the carpet too."

Cheriton dropped his eyeglass with an air of digni-
fied agitation.

" I beg your pardon, Lascelles," said he. " To
whom do you refer.? "

" To that damned old woman ! "said Jim Lascelles,
with an unabashed air.

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 175

" Can it be possible that you refer to Caroline
Crewkeme, my oldest friend?"

** I mean the aunt of Nature's immortal work,"
said Jim, coolly. " I really can't help it ; I feel that
I must curse somebody this morning. And as she is
bound to curse me, I don't see why I shouldn't curse
her."

" Your habit of explanation, Lascelles, is decidedly
imfortunate."

" Well, tell me the worst. Lord Cheriton. I sup-
pose you withdraw your offer ; and I am to be bundled
out neck and crop with my canvas and forbidden to
come here again ? "

" I certainly withdraw my offer. In regard to
prohibition of the house that, of course, rests entirely
with my old friend, of whom you have spoken in a
singularly disrespectful — and shall I say ungentle-
manlike ? — ^manner."

" I couldn't help it," said Jim, humbly. " It has
done me good to say it. But, of course, I'm in the
wrong altogether."

" You are, undoubtedly. To my mind, you are
more in the wrong than one could have judged pos-
sible for a young man of your character, upbring-
ing, and attainments to be."

" If a confounded girl," said Jim, " will make a
practice of coming into this room continually to ask
you what your opinion is of her hat and her frock,
and whether you have ever tasted cream buns and
pink ices, and whether you think Muffin's mauve was
as nice as her lilac is ^"

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176 ARAMINTA

" My dear Lascelles/* interrupted Cheriton, " your
habit of explanation is really most unfortunate."

" Well, kick me out and my canvas too," said Jim,
desperately, " and have done with it."

Jim Lascelles, like the rash and hasty fellow that
he was, feeling himself to be irretrievably disgraced
and that he had forfeited forever the respect and
good-will of his only patron, proceeded to pack up
his brushes and his pigments.

" The former part of your suggestion, Lascelles,
is much the simpler matter of the two. But in the
matter of the half -finished canvas I foresee difficulty."

" You have repudiated it, haven't you? " said Jim,
rather fiercely.

" Unquestionably as a copy of the Dorset. But all
the same, I do not think it can be permitted to leave
this house."

" Why not. Lord Cheriton? "

" It is an unauthorized portrait of my ward. Miss
Perry, who at present is in statu pupUlari.**

" Ye-es," said Jim, dubiously, " I suppose it is.
All the same, it is rather rough on a chap. I have
put a lot of work into that picture."

" I can see you have, Lascelles."

" And of course," said Jim, injudiciously, " I
should like to put a lot more work into it. It is such
a fine subject."

" The subject is much too fine, Lascelles, if I may
venture an opinion. My advice to you is, burn the
canvas and forget that it ever existed."

No pity was taken on Jim's blank consternation.

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 177

" Bum it ! " cried Jim, aghast.

^^I am afraid if you don't, my dear Lascelles,
Lady Crewkeme will."

" But she has no right ^" said Jim, fiercely.

** I am afraid, my dear fellow, her right is not to
be contested. In my view, this half -finished canvas
is much more her property than it is yours."

" Well," said Jim, apprehensively, " I shall re-
move it at once to my studio."

Cheriton had dropped his little bombshell. The
gyrations of his vicitim, whom he had fully alarmed,
seemed to afi^ord him a great deal of pleasure.

" Let us take it a little easier, my dear fellow,"
said he. " I agree with you that it would be a great
pity to destroy such an extremely promising work of
art. Let us seek for an alternative."

" The only alternative I can see," said Jim, " is
that I should remove it at once."

^* In its half -finished state? That would be a
pity."

" Well, I don't mean it to be burnt if I can help
it," said Jim.

During the pause which followed Jim looked highly
perplexed, not a little disconcerted, and also some-
what belligerent.

" I have a suggestion to make to you, Lascelles,"
said his patron. ^^ In the circumstances I think it is
quite the most you can hope for."

** I shall be happy to consider it. Lord Cheriton,"
said Jim, with a rueful smile.

" In the first place, it seems to me that the best

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178 ARAMINTA

thing I can do is to get the permission of Lady Crew-
kerne for you to finish the portrait of her niece.
Now, I warn you it may not be easy. As I think
you have conjectured, she is a difficult member of a
most difficult sex. But I am only prepared to do this
upon one definite condition."

" What is it? " asked Jim, in a tone that was not
very hopeful.

" The condition must be this, Lascelles," said Cher-
iton, with a very businesslike air. "As you have
treated me so abominably — I regret exceedingly that
candor compels me to use the term — if I obtain per-
mission for you to complete your portrait of Miss
Perry, I shall insist upon being allowed to purchase
it upon my own terms."

" Yes," said Jim, " that is only fair."

It seemed to him that things were taking a much
more favorable course than he could have hoped for.

" If I can obtain permission for you, Lascelles, to
complete that picture, and you finish it in the man-
ner you have begun it, it will be a pleasure to hang
it at Cheriton House."

Jim Lascelles was touched by the kindness of his
patron.

" I didn't quite see my way, Lord Cheriton," said
he, with admirable simplicity, " to ofi^er you an apol-
ogy for my rotten behavior, because you know you
did rub it in, but I am going to now. And I hope
you'll accept it, because you've been so kind to me —
much kinder to me than you ought to have been,
really."

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 179

" Yes, Lascelles," said Cheriton, impartially, " I
am inclined to take that view myself. But your
father was good to me at school ; and you are young,
and you have talent, and you have a great subject to
work upon, and I can't help feeling that it would be
a pity if you lost the opportunity which, in a sense,
you have already had the wit to create. Mind, Las-
celles, I don't excuse you in the least. I palliate noth-
ing; take your conduct all round it has been abom-
inable; but in my humble judgment, had it been more
correct than it has been I personally should not take
such a hopeful view of your future. For you have
conformed to my fundamental belief that all the men
who are worth anything must begin by breaking the
rules. Although have the goodness to remember, my
dear Lascelles, when you come to breaking the rules
be careful how you do it, for it is very easy to get ex-
pelled the school. And should that happen — well, of
course, you are done for unless you are able to found
a school of your own."

Jim Lascelles forbore to smile at this piece of
didacticism. He was very full of gratitude. The
old blighter had behaved so much more nicely than
he need have done.

** If only I had genius," said Jim, " I would give
up my days to the fashioning of the most absolute
masterpiece that ever adorned the walls of Cheriton
House."

"You remember Carlyle's definition?" said the
owner thereof.

" Carlyle was an old fool."

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180 ARAMINTA

" That was always my opinion. And I once had
the privilege of telling him so, and, what is more,
the noisy fellow admitted it. Doubtless what he
meant to express by his definition was the fact that
Genius is perfect submission to the Idea."

"Well, here goes for perfect submission to the
Idea,'' said Jim Lascelles.

He took up his brush and his palette, and gave a
very deft touch to the vestments of Miss Perry.

" Do you like my new riding-habit? '' said a per-
fectly ludicrous drawl coming in through the door.

Jim Lascelles made a gesture of despair. He kept
his back turned upon the new riding-habit resolutely.

" Dear me ! " said Cheriton, " Artemis."

"Isn't it silly? " said Miss Perry. " They don't
like you to jump the railings in Rotten Row."

"What is the source of your information?" in-
quired my lord.

" Gobo says so," said Miss Perry.

" Put not your faith in that man, my dear Miss
Groose," said Cheriton, mellifluously. " It is only be-
cause he is afraid of taking a toss."

" But they have got po-lice-meUy'^ said Miss Perry,
impressively.

There can be no reasonable doubt that in her new
riding-habit Miss Perry looked perfectly distract-
ing. Lord Cheriton was certainly of that opinion.
As for Jim Lascelles, he waved her away from him
with great energy.

" That is the sort of thing," said he, with an ap-
peal for sympathy and protection.

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 181

" Miss Goose," said Lord Cheriton, " Mr. Lascelles
has made a serious indictment against you."

" Has he? " said Miss Perry, opening very large,
very round, and very blue eyes upon Jim.

" Mr. Lascelles complains," said Cheriton, with
paternal severity, " that while he is assiduously en-
gaged in copying that famous portrait of your great-
grandmamma, you persist in coming into this room
in your smartest gowns; in sitting in the middle of
that sofa ; in absorbing the best light ; in posing in a
manner that no really sensitive painter can possibly
resist; with the melancholy result that you literally
force him to paint you instead of your great-grand-
mamma, quite, as he assures me, against his rational
judgment and his natural inclination."

" Oh, I don't mind at all," said Miss Perry, with
charming friendliness. " It made me rather tired at
first holding my chin like this, but at the end of an
hour I always get a cream bun."

**At the end of an hour you always get a cream
bun ! Do you indeed? "

" Yes," said Miss Perry, " small ones, but they are
almost as nice as the large ones."

" I hope, Lascelles," said Cheriton, " you have
something to offer by way of extenuation?"

"Well, what can a fellow do? " said Jim, desper-
ately. " What with the sun stuck up there, and this
pink and white and blue and yellow arrangement.
As for the chin — well, if a chin wiU curve like that it
must take the consequences."

Cheriton was shocked.

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188 ARAMINTA

" Say as little as possible, Lascelles, I entreat you,''
said he. " Your case is hopeless. But I feel bound
to say this. Since we have had this astoimding alle-
gation of the cream buns, without probing the mat-
ter to the depths, which I am really afraid to do, I
must say your future as a painter seems more roseate
than ever."

" Thank you. Lord Cheriton,'' said Jim, mod-
estly.

" But in regard to your future as a human being,
as a unit of society, I prefer to exercise a wise dis-
cretion which will take the form of saying nothing
whatever upon the subject."

" Thank you. Lord Cheriton," said Jim again.

Jim Lascelles then turned his gaze upon Miss
Perry. It was of such singular resolution that it
seemed as if it sought to hypnotize that irresponsible
person to maintain the semblance of discretion.

" If you will go and put on that new frock," said
he, in a manner that Cheriton was forced to regard
as effrontery, " we can get just an hour before lunch-
eon, and then to-morrow you will start a cream bim
in hand."

The prospect offered seemed sufficiently enticing to
Miss Perry.

" That will be awfully nice."

She left the room with great cheerfulness.

Cheriton regarded Jim Lascelles with that paternal
air which he was wont to assume rather frequently
towards the world in general.

" Lascelles," said he, " I shall have to revise my

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 183

estimate of your attainments. It is becoming in-
creasingly clear to my mind that you may go
far."

" Gillet said if I applied myself,*' said Jim, with-
out immodesty, " I might be able one day to paint a
portrait."

" Gillet's opinion is valuable," said Cheriton, with
the air of one who set a higher value upon his own
opinion than he did upon that of Gillet. He exam-
ined Jim's work very critically. " Yes," he said, " I
recognize your possibilities. You have had the wit
to find a subject, and I am hopeful that the artist
will prove entirely worthy of it."

Jim's face expressed his pleasure. After all, he
had the talent and ambition of every honest crafts-
man.

" Lascelles," said his patron, " may I give you a
word of advice.? "

Jim expressed himself gratified at the prospect of
receiving it.

" It is this," said Cheriton, slowly. " You must
get into the habit of charging more for your pic-
tures."

" I hope I shall be able to," said Jim. " But times
are hard, and it is uphill work for a man without a
reputation."

" I appreciate that. But I heard you spoken of as
the coming man the other night, and I see no reason
why you shouldn't confirm the prediction."

" If only I had a little more talent," said Jim.

" H only you had a little more faith in it, Lascelles.

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184 ARAMINTA

It is the faith that is so necessary, as every artist
tells us."

" I suppose so. Yet all the same, I wish the fairies
had been a little kinder."

" I am of opinion that they have been sufficiently
kind to the man who could pose that head and put
that hair upon canvas. But what I wanted particu-
larly to say to you is this. My friend Kendal intends
to ask you to paint a portrait of his daughter
PrisciUa."

Jim Lascelles was thrilled by this announcement.

** That is awfully good of him," said he, " and
awfully good of you. Lord Cheriton."

" Perhaps I have the more genuine title to your
gratitude," said Cheriton, amiably, " because, as far
as Kendal is concerned, he is one of those undiscem-
ing and sluggish fellows who always prefer to take
some one else's opinion rather than form one of their
own. I told him you were the man to paint his
daughter Priscilla, and he was only too glad to have
my word for it. And I am by no means sure you are
not."

Jim Lascelles was at a loss to know how to express
his sense of obligation, particularly as he could not
help feeling that he did not merit such kindness.

" I wish now," said he, " I hadn't behaved so
badly."

" The worst of any sort of bad behavior," said
Cheriton, sententiously, "is that it carries such a
heavy premium. But no matter. The chief thing is
to behave well to my friend Kendal. Paint his

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 185

daughter Priscilla to the best of your ability, and be
careful to charge him five hundred guineas."

Jim was staggered.

" Five hundred guineas ! " said he. " Why, he will
never pay it. He could get an absolute first rater
for that sum."

Cheriton smiled sagaciously.

** Doubtless he could," said he, " and if my friend
Kendal pays five hundred guineas he will consider he's
got one. When I come to examine your masterpiece
on the wall of his gloomy and draughty dining-room
in Yorkshire, I shall say, * Kendal, that picture of
Priscilla appears to be an uncommonly soimd piece
of work.' And he will say as proud as you please, ^ I
should think it was, my dear fellow. That young
chap Lascelles turned out absolutely first rate. He
charged five hundred guineas for that picture. I am
telling everybody.' "

Jim Lascelles found his good fortune a little diffi-
cult to accept. Further, he seemed to be rather
troubled by it.

" I hope it is quite fair to Lord Kendal," he said,
** to charge him five hundred guineas for a picture
I should be only too glad to paint for fifty? "

Cheriton was amused.

" My dear Lascelles," said he, " simplicity is
greatly to be desired in art, but it is well not to take
it into the market-place. There is the man with
whom you are doing business to be considered. If my
friend Kendal paid fifty guineas for the picture of
his daughter Priscilla, he would think exactly ten

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186 ARAMINTA

times less of it than if he paid five hundred ; and in-
stead of hanging it in his dining-room in the worst
possible light, he would hang it in one of the smaller
bedrooms in a very much better one."

Cheriton's homily was interrupted at this point by
the return of Miss Perry. In her Gainsborough
gown which she Had worn at the fancy ball, and in
her " incredible " hat, which by some miracle had been
clapped on at just the right angle, she looked more
distracting than any human creature ought really to
do. She seated herself in the middle of the sofa with
great composure, tilted her chin to the Ught of the
morning, and folded her hands in her lap with almost
the air of a professional.

" Out for blood," said Jim, approvingly.

" Lascelles," said Cheriton, " I am almost afraid
this means a large one."

" Yes," said Jim, " I am a poor and obscure
painter, but this zeal to serve the arts really merits
encouragement."

" Perhaps, Lascelles," said Cheriton, " if Buszard
is sincerely interested in art, as one feels sure he
must be, he might be induced to make a reduc-
tion upon the large ones if you contracted for a
quantity."

Jim Lascelles was frankly delighted with the pose,
and worked very happily. He was in high spirits.
Thanks to his patron's generosity, he had got out of
his difficulty far more easily than he could have hoped
to have done. His future prospects had also taken a
sudden and remarkable turn for the better. Yet,

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 187

apart from these considerations, his subject fired him.
As he worked during this precious hour he felt that
his execution had never had such boldness, freedom,
and authenticity.

Cheriton watched his protSgS with approval. As
a critic he was sufficiently accomplished to detect
great possibilities in Jim's method. Here might be a
genuine trouvaille^ if the young fellow only had
thoroughness as well as courage.

Miss Perry had not moved her chin once for nearly
an hour, so that she felt her guerdon was as good as
earned ; Jim Lascelles had yielded for the same period
to a genuine inspiration ; and Cheriton sat at his ease,
watching with every outward sign of satisfaction the
fair fruits which were springing from his liberal
treatment of the artistic temper, when this harmony
of sitter, painter, and patron was gravely imperiled
by the entrance of a little fat dog. As usual, he
heralded the approach of an old woman leaning upon
an ebony stick.

No sooner had the old woman entered the blue
drawing-room than she stood dumfounded with
amazement. And yet there is reason to believe that
this attitude was in some measure assumed. Jim Las-
celles continued to ply his brush in blissful ignorance
of her presence; Miss Perry, for political reasons,
continued strictly to maintain her pose. Cheriton,
however, put up a solemn forefinger. Nevertheless,
signs were not wanting that the mistress of the house
was about to disregard his warning.

** Ssssh, Caroline ! " said he.

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188 ARAMINTA

" What, pray, is the meaning of this? " demanded
the old lady.

*^ This is a most critical stage," said Cheriton.
** Three minutes more and I shall invite you to speak
with freedom."

" Tell me," snorted the old lady. " Why is that
girl sitting there in that manner in the gewgaws of
a play-actress.? "

" Sssh, Caroline! Don't you see.? "

The perfect composure of the fair sitter, and the
fact that she chose to remain deaf, dumb, and blind
to the intruder, seemed «to exasperate that autocrat.

" Tell me, girl, what is the meaning of it? " she
stormed.

She beat the carpet with the ebony walking-
stick.

" Move not the Chin Piece, the Yoimg Man said,"
Jim whispered.

The filmy, far-away look continued in the eyes of
Miss Perry. She paid heed to none.

Cheriton continued to elevate his forefinger very
gravely.

" Sssh, Caroline ! " said he. " One short and brief
minute more. The whole situation is most critical."

"Is the creature hypnotized?"

** Yes, she is undoubtedly."

" Who gave permission for her to sit for her por-
trait? In those fal-lals, too."

" Nature gave her permission, amiable old Dame
Nature. She couldn't refuse it."

** I forbid it," said Caroline, with all the energy

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 189

of which she was capable. ** It is disgraceful. It
shall not go on."

Then it was that Miss Perry ventured to say
something.

** Large cream bun to-morrow morning, please,"
said she.

" Is it an hour? " said Jim Lascelles. " Dear me!
how time flies ! One can hardly believe it."

" Girl," said the old lady, " I demand an explana-
tion."

As Miss Ferry seemed to have no explanation to
offer, Cheriton came to' her aid.

** The truth is," said he, in honeyed tones, " my
distinguished young friend Lascelles is the victim of
a very natural error. My idea was, of course, Caro-
line, as you are aware, that he should come here to
copy your Gainsborough, but it would appear that
he has put another interpretation upon his mandate.
And I feel bound to confess that I for one cannot
blame him."

Caroline Crewkeme, however, was not appeased so
easily.

** In my opinion," said she, " it is unpardonable
that any man should take it upon himself to paint
clandestinely the portrait of my niece. And in my
house, too."

Jim held himself very proudly and perhaps a little
disdainfully also. The old woman's tone was certainly
offensive.

** Lady Crewkeme," said he, not so humbly as he
might have done, ^^I will admit that I have done

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190 ARAMINTA

wrong, but I hope my offense is not a very grave
one."

The old lady looked Jim over in a decidedly scorn-
ful manner. She appeared to be not quite sure
whether a person such as Jim was entitled to receive
a reply from her.

" It depends upon the light in which one chooses
to view the subject," said she, in a voice which
trembled with anger. " I have formed my own opin-
ion about such behavior. I must ask you to leave this
house immediately, and in future it will be closed to
you."

Jim was stung. The mildest-tempered fellow in
the world would have been by such an unbridle4 dis-
play of despotism. Cheriton, who by long associa-
tion with the Whigs understood their arbitrary na-
ture, was really less shocked by such an uncivil ex-
hibition than he pretended to be. He took Jim^Las-
celles by the sleeve, drew him aside, and gave him
the benefit of a whimsical smile.

" Say nothing, my dear fellow," said he, in a sa-
gacious and paternal manner. " Give her her head,
and then leave her to me."

Jim Lascelles, however, was furious. He was
young and hot-headed; and adversity had rendered
him more sensitive upon the score of his dignity than
it is wise for a young fellow to be. Therefore he was
by no means disposed to leave the adjustment of the
matter to his friend. Not by his demeanor only did
he express resentment, but by word and also by
deed.

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BEHAVIOR OF JIM LASCELLES 191

" I am sorry, Lady Crewkerne, you have taken
this view,'' said he, not very pacifically. " I shall be
quite happy to obey your instructions. A couple of
men will come from Peabody's this afternoon to fetch
the canvas."

And then, with an incredible absence of judgment,
Jim Lascelles packed up his tools, and distributing
curt bows to everybody, stalked out of the room and
out of the house.

Cheriton showed genuine consternation. Miss
Perry looked ready to shed tears. Cream buns apart,
she was very fond of Jim.

" An incomprehensibly foolish thing to have done,''
said Cheriton.

" A deplorable exhibition of impudence," said
Caroline Crewkerne. " I have the greatest mind not
to give up that canvas. I should be within my rights
if I destroyed it."

" I have grave doubts whether you could do it
legally," said Cheriton.

For a man of his vaunted wisdom and experience
it was a sadly injudicious thing to have said.

"You think so?" said the redoubtable Caroline.
" That decides me. That man must be taught a
lesson. Cheriton, have the goodness to ring the
beU."

Cheriton showed genuine concern.

" Surely, Caroline," said he, " you cannot mean
that you are going to destroy it.? "

" That is my intention."

" Oh, but surely," said Cheriton, " it would be

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192 ARAMINTA

nothing short of a crime. There is no other word
to use."

" It is going to be done,'* said Caroline Crew-
kerne.

" But the y oiuig fellow has put many hours of ^e
work into that picture/' said Cheriton, with gr^at
seriousness, ^^ and fine thought in it too. It would be
a crime." ^

^^ If a man has no manners he must be taught
them," said the implacable Caroline.

" The kettle is invariably the severest judge of the
pot," said Cheriton, in a whimsical aside. " Really,
Caroline, you began it," said he.

" The man began it by painting my niece's por-
trait without obtaining my permission. Not content
with abusing my hospitality, he must show insolence
when remonstrated with."

" Well, you know, my dear Caroline, that hand of
yours is uncommonly heavy. And although no one
deplores the young fellow's conduct for his own sake
more deeply than I do, he acted precisely as his pro-
foundly rash and hot-headed father would have done
in the circumstances."

" I am not in the least interested in such a person,
or in his father either," said Caroline Crewkeme.
^^ But I have made up my mind that that canvas shall
be destroyed."

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CHAPTER XV

DIPLOMACY IS CAIiliED FOE

GHERITON'S gravity was of a kind he seldom
displayed.

" Caroline,'' said he, firmly, " if you behaved in
that way no right-minded person could possibly for-
give you. The lad is very poor, and his history is a
sad one. He is the son of Lascelles, V.C., as rash
yet generous-hearted a fellow as ever hved. Had it
not been for a dishonest broker the young chap would
be a man of wealth and position."

** I am prepared to hear nothing further upon the
subject," said Caroline Crewkeme. " I have made
up my mind. Cheriton, have the goodness to ring
the beU."

The affair must have had a tragic termination
there and then had not the God who watches over
poor painters — ^whatever their own private and per-
sonal doubts in regard to that Deity, it is only right
for laymen like ourselves to assume that there is one
— seen fit to enact a little providence of His own. At
that crucial moment there came to Cheriton's aid no
less a person that Greorge Betterton. And as if that
opportime arrival was not in itself sufficient, Provi-
dence took the trouble to play a double coup. Mr.

193

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194 ARAMINTA

Marchbanks made the announcement almost imme-
diately afterwards that luncheon was ready.

While Caroline enlarged upon her grievances to
George Betterton and outlined the extreme course
she proposed to take as soon as luncheon was over,
Cheriton scribbled hastily in pencil on the back of a
card, " Remove picture from No. — Hill Street im-
mediately, to the Acacias, Hawthorn Road, Balham."

This accomplished, he proceeded to take John into
his confidence. He placed the card, together with a
sovereign, in the palm of that functionary.

" Go down at once," said he, " to the people at the
Bond Street Galleries and give them this card. They
are to remove that half -finished picture in the blue
drawing-room to that address. By the time luncheon
is over it must be out of the house. Is that clear? "

" Perfectly clear, my lord," said John, who among
his many virtues had a proper tenderness for the
peerage.

" See that this is done, and when questions are
asked all you need know upon the subject is that a
couple of men came and took it away. You under-
stand? "

" Perfectly, my lord," said John.

During luncheon Cheriton was seen to particular
advantage. At any time it called for very little
efi^ort on his part for him to be one of the most agree-
able men in London. To-day he excelled. He retailed
some of the newest stories and a quantity of the fresh-
est gossip ; he was really genial to George Betterton,
and encouraged him to enlarge at length upon the

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DIPLOMACY IS CALLED FOE 196

subject of the Militia; and to his hostess he gave a
tip for the Oaks, for which species of information
she had a decided weakness.

It was but seldom among his intimates that George
was permitted to mount his hobby-horse. As for
Cheriton, he was the last man in the world, as a rule,
to consent to hold the head of that extraordinary
quadruped while George established himself firmly in
the saddle. But on this occasion he performed that
operation in the most graceful manner.

" Excellent speech of yours in the House the other
evening, my dear fellow,'' said he. " I wasn't there
myself — Philosophical Society's annual meeting — ^but
you were very carefully reported in the Times. Quite
your best vein, if I may say so. Very shrewd, very
searching, sound common sense. You thought so,
Caroline, did you not?"

It seems incredible, but Caroline Crewkerne walked
straight into the trap. With all her ruthlessness,
and all her knowledge of mundane affairs, she had
one besetting weakness. She attached an absurd im-
portance to any form of politics. It was her Whig-
gism, doubtless. She would encourage the most con-
summate bore, for upon the slightest pretext her
vanity would lead her to believe that her fingers were
really in the pie, and that she had a very considerable
hand in the destinies of the country.

In the heydey of her glory it used to be asserted
freely by idle persons that if the country was not
actually ruled from Hill Street, ministers at least
were made and marred there, and of that quarter Gov-

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196 ARAMINTA

emments went in fear and Irembling. And it is by
no means improbable that Caroline Crewkeme came
to believe it. It is surprising what vanity will do
for us.

To-day the smoldering embers of a life-long illu-
sion, if the figure is permitted, allowed Caroline
Crewkeme to establish George Betterton quite firmly
astride his hobby-horse. Cheriton counted the min-
utes of his exquisite boredom. George was always
heavy. He spoke so slowly and impressively that he
could deliver a platitude in a longer space of time
than any man living, and he could use fewer words in
the operation. Indeed, upon the strength of that
gift he had gained a reputation for incisive brevity.

To see Caroline Crewkerne nodding her vain old
head, and wagging her vain old ears in an exagger-
ated attitude of statesmanlike attention, was a posi-
tive joy to Cheriton, particularly as time was so
valuable. The minutes grew tedious in their passing,
all the same. The clock chimed half -past two, and
Miss Perry mentioned the circus.

"Let us postpone it until to-morrow, my dear
Miss Goose, if you really don't mind," said Cheriton.
" The conversation is so absorbing. The preserved
ginger is highly delectable too."

Miss Perry shared the latter opinion.

" Green Chartreuse or Grand Marnier, my lord? "
said Mr. Marchbanks.

" Both," said my lord.

Mr. Marchbanks dissembled his surprise in an ex-
tremely well-bred manner. In his eyes, however, a

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DIPLOMACY IS CALLED FOR 197

peer of the realm was in the happy position of
Caesar's wife.

It must not be assumed, however, that Cheriton
indulged in both these luxuries. His respect for the
internal economy forbade that course. But observ-
ing that George Betterton selected Green Chartreuse
he contrived to smuggle unseen the Grand Marnier to
George's side of the table. He then addressed his
mind to slumber. After a full twenty minutes thus
blissfully stolen he awoke with a little start.

" Beg pardon, George," said he. " Did I under-
stand you to say the Militia had gone to the dooce
and the country must be reconstructed, or that the
Country had gone to the dooce and the Militia must
be reconstructed? "

" The Country, Cheriton," said Caroline Crew-
kerne, in her most affair^ manner ; " certainly the
Country."

" What a good head you have, Caroline ! " said
Cheriton, giving expression to a somnolent admira-
tion. " Take after your father. Sorry to interrupt
you, George. Most able discourse. By the way,
Caroline, you never give one the treat of the famous
old brandy these days. Not for myself. I never
touch brandy ; but I was thinking of George. It is
known to be excellent for any kind of disquisition."

George Betterton, duly fortified with a little of
the famous old brandy, and with a yet further sup-
ply of Grand Marnier, which Cheriton caused to be
conveyed to him, proceeded on his victorious way.

" Country gone to the dogs — ^yes," said Cheriton.

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198 ARAMINTA

" Militia gone to the dooce — quite so. Circus to-
morrow, Miss Goose. But Gobo quite educational
too."

Cheriton addressed himself again to slumber, with
a peaceful, resigned, yet vastly contented air.

It was five minutes past three before Caroline
Crewkerne quitted the table. In spite of her fund of
natural shrewdness she could not help feeling — so
easy it is for the wisest people to deceive themselves
in some things — that she had sat at the feet of a
political Gamaliel who played ducks and drakes with
the War Office. As for George Betterton, having
been endured with a patience that was not always ex-
tended to him, without actually giving himself airs,
he felt that upon the subject of the Militia he really
was no end of a fellow. Cheriton, who had enjoyed
an additional thirty-five minutes of undisturbed re-
pose, gave him clearly to understand that he con-
curred in that opinion.

Back in the drawing-room, Caroline Crewkerne re-
affirmed her intention of destroying the half -finished
portrait of Miss Perry.

" An unpardonable piece of presumption in the
first pliice," said she. " And, in the second, the man
was positively insolent."

Cheriton had already looked for the canvas, and
with a whimsical little sigh of satisfaction had looked
in vain. It would seem that the myrmidons of the
Bond Street Galleries had done their work.

" Do be more lenient, my dear Caroline," said
Cheriton, persuasively. " The fellow is young, and

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DIPLOMACY IS CALLED FOR 199

his lot is hard. Pray don't take the bread out of the
mouth of a rising genius who has to support his
mother. George, my dear fellow, throw the weight
of your great influence into the scale. Caroline must
be more humane. Rising young man — ^highly sus-
ceptible — wholly captivated by our distracting Miss
Goose. Any young fellow with any sort of instinct
for nature at her choicest would have done the same."

Cheriton concluded upon an exclamation from the
redoubtable Caroline.

" Why," she cried, " the picture has been taken
away ! "

Mr. Marchbanks was summoned.

" Two men from Peabody's fetched it an hour ago,
my lady," Mr. Marchbanks explained.

" Without my permission," stormed his mistress.

" I had no instructions, my lady," said Mr. March-
banks. " I was under the impression that it was the
property of the young painting gentleman."

" You were under the impression ! "

" Caroline," said Cheriton gravely, " if you have
not been properly scored off it looks uncommonly like
it. Young fellow evidently didn't allow the grass to
grow under his feet. He said he would send for it
to-morrow, but he seems to have changed his mind.
But, in my humble judgment, if you must blame any-
body you will do well to blame George. If he hadn't
been so devilish interesting on the subject of the
Militia it would never have happened."

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CHAPTER XVI

HYDE FABK

LITTLE recked Jim Lascelles of the train of cir-
I cumstances which enabled his precious half-
finished work to return to its maker. When it ar-
rived at his hermitage at Balham that afternoon, he
merely saw in its premature return an additional af-
front. He took it for granted that the old woman
of Hill Street had ordered it out of the house.

" An absolutely inconceivable old cat," Jim as-
sured his mother with great truculence.

" I am afraid so, my son," said his mother, sagely.
" Power is so bad for poor Female Us."

" She has ruined me," said Jim, miserably. ** She
and that infernal temper of mine."

" Temper is feminine too, my son," said Jim's
mother, profoundly. " She invariably plays Old
Harry when she gets hold of the reins."

Perhaps it ought to be stated that Jim's mother
had recently tried to eke out her slender purse by
writing a novel. At least, that is the only explana-
tion there is to offer of how she came to be so wise.
The writing of novels is very good for the mind, as
aU the world knows.

Jim was woefully gloomy for many days. He felt

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HYDE PARK 801

that by his unlucky outburst he had irretrievably
ruined his prospects. And they were getting bright
so suddenly that they had almost seemed to dazzle
him. Not only had he forfeited the hundred pounds
which Lord Cheritos^ had promised him for a faithful
copy of the Gainsborough, but doubtless, after his
unhappy exhibition of temper, Lord Kendal's daugh-
ter Friscilla would choose to be painted by somebody
else.

This, however, was not the worst. The Goose Girl
had passed clean out of his ken. Henceforward he
would be debarred the sight of the Gainsborough hat,
the lilac frock, and the full-fledged cream-bun ap-
pearance. She had driven the imfortunate young
fellow so nearly to distraction that while he found it
impossible to expel her from his thoughts, he could
not summon the resolution to unlock the door of the
studio he had caused to be set up in the small Balham
back garden. It was nothing less than an affliction
to gaze upon the half -finished canvas, which now could
never be completed.

By nature Jim Lascelles was a bright and cheery
soul. But the fact that he had destroyed his pros-
pects ** just as things were coming his way " by a
single imbridled act, made him extremely unhappy.
It needed all Mrs. Lascelles' gay courage and invinci-
ble optimism to keep Jim steady during these days
of trial.

"Finish her out of your head, laddie," said she,
*• then try to forget that she ever existed."

*• Nay," said Jim. ** I must either put all I know

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202 ARAMINTA

into that little work, or stick a knife through the
canvas/'

Jim brooded dreadfully upon the subject. Black
rings came under his eyes ; he smoked too much and
ate too little.

" I must and I will see her," said Jim.

" That is the true spirit, my son," said his mother,
cheerfully.

It is not quite clear whether she ought openly to
have expressed her approval. It was very necessary,
all the same, to rouse the unhappy Jim from the
lethargy that was making his life unbearable. At all
events, he seemed to derive a certain inward power
from the mere resolution.

The next morning Jim made his way to Hyde
Park. It was now June and it was looking its best,
with the trees, the rhododendrons, and the ladies in
full bloom. For some time he stood by the railings
with a kind of indefinite hope that he would be re-
warded for his pilgrimage. Then he began to walk
slowly in the direction of Knightsbridge ; and con-
fronted by so much fine plumage, he began to wish
ruefully that his blue suit was not so shabby and
that his straw hat was not in its second season.

He was still hopeful, however. He took a careful
survey of the riders. Somewhat oddly, his attention
was attracted to a heavy, red-faced, rather stupid-
looking man who was pounding along on a gray
horse. His appearance was perfectly familiar to Jim
Lascelles, yet for the moment he could not remember
where and when he had seen him.

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HYDE PARK 208

It was with an odd mingling of satisfaction and
disgust that he w&s able to recall the heavy red-
faced man's identity. He stopped and turned his
eyes to follow him in his progress. Yes, it was he
undoubtedly: And there at the comer by Apsley
House was a chestnut horse, tall, upstanding, proudly
magnificent, surmounted by a royal creature crowned
with the light of the morning. At the respectful dis-
tance of thirty paces was Mr. Bryant, seated as up-
right as his own cockade upon a more modest charger.
Even he, a man of austere taste and exclusive in-
stinct, did not attempt to conceal an air of legitimate
pride in his company. Mr. Bryant had seen nothing
that morning, nor many mornings previously, that
could in any wise compare with the wonderful Miss
Perry.

Doubtless it is hardly right to say that Jim Las-
celles' eyes were envious when they followed the man
with the red face, and marked his paternal greeting
of the Groose Girl. It is hardly fair, for envy is a
vulgar passion, and Jim was too good a fellow ever
to be really vulgar in anything. All the same, it
must be confessed that he swore to himself softly.
He then behaved in a very practical and mundane
manner. He took out his watch, one of those ad-
mirable American five-shilling watches which are
guaranteed to keep correct time for a very long
period.

" Three minutes past eleven," said he. " Oho, my
merry man ! ''

Precisely what Jim Lascelles meant by that mystic

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«04 ARAMINTA

exclamation It is difficult to know, but anyhow it
seemed to please him. He then observed that the
little cavalcade had wheeled round the comer, and
had started to come down slowly by the railings upon
the left.

Jim stood to await it with a beating heart. It was
a most injudicious thing to do, but he was in a des-
perate and defiant humor.

" Five to one she cuts you," Jim muttered. " Two
to one she cuts you dead. They are all alike when
they moimt the high horse."

As Jim Lascelles stood to await the approach of
the cavalcade, he no longer thought ruefully of his
cheap straw hat and his shabby blue suit. They had
become dear to him as the badge of his impending
martyrdom.

Grobo hugged the railings. He was so close to Jim
Lascelles that he nearly touched him with his spurs —
diunmy spurs, as Jim noted. Miss Perry was ex-
plaining that all the girls had white frocks at Buck-
ingham Palace, and how she wished that Muffin had
been there, as a white frock always suited her, al-
though she was inclined to tear it, when Miss Feather-
brain was met by the steady and unflinching gaze of
Jim Lascelles. Instantly her hand went up, not one
of darned cotton, but a yellow gauntleted affair that
matched her hair, in quite the regulation Widdif ord
manner.

"Why — why," she cried, "it's Jim! Hallo,
Jim!"

In the ears of Jim Lascelles the incomparably fool-

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HYDE PARK 206

ish speech had never sounded so absurd and so de-
licious. It was plainly the intention of Miss Perry
to hold animated conversation with the undeniably
handsome youth who returned her greeting. But the
intervention of the highest branch of the peerage, as
solemn as the British Constitution and as solid too,
between her and the railings ; and the fact that there
was a resolutely oncoming rearguard in the person
of the scandalized Mr. Bryant, who in his own mind
was tolerably sure that the presimiptuous young man
by the railings had no connection with the peerage
whatever, sufficed to keep Miss Perry in the straight
path.

Therefore Jim Lascelles had to be content with one
of the old Widdiford smiles, which nevertheless was
enchanting, and a parting wave of the yellow gaunt-
let, which was the perfection of friendliness, com-
radeship, and natural simplicity. He stood to watch
the cavalcade pass slowly down the ride, the magnifi-
cent chestnut and its rider the observed of all ob-
servers, for both were superb and profoundly simple
works of nature. The red-faced and stolid personage
on the gray, a more sophisticated pair, were yet well
in the picture also, for if less resplendent, they too in
their way were imposing.

Jim's reverie was interrupted by a voice at his
elbow.

" There they go," it said, " the most ill-assorted
pair in England."

With a start of surprise Jim turned to find an
immaculate beside him. Cheriton was wearing a

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206 ARAMINTA

light gray frockcoat with an exaggerated air of
fashion.

" Crabbed age and youth," said Jim, yet quite
without bitterness. He was still glowing with pleas-
ure at his frank and friendly recognition.

" A pitiful sight," said Cheriton. " A man of his
age ! How odd it is that some men are bom without
a sense of the incongruous ! "

" Yes," said Jim.

" Gal looks well outside a horse. Very weD indeed.
Pity that old ruffian should ruin so fair a picture."

Cheriton seemed prepared to criticise his rival's
style of horsemanship. Reluctantly, however, he
forbore to do so. For George had been drilled very
severely in his youth ; and in spite of his years and his
weight he was able to make a creditable appearance
in the saddle.

" Do you know. Lord Cheriton," said Jim, " I al-
most regret that I did not attempt an equestrian
portrait."

My lord's brows went up.

" Upon my word, Lascelles," said he, " you are an
uncommonly bold fellow to mention the word * por-
trait.' "

" I agree with you," said Jim.

He laughed rather bitterly. Cheriton affected a
gravely paternal air.

" Lascelles," said he, " I think the fact that at
school your father imbued me with the elements of
wisdom gives some sort of sanction to a little plain
speaking on my part."

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HYDE PARK 207

** Go on, Lord Cheriton," said Jim, with gloomy
resignation. " Rub it in."

" I think, Lascelles," said Cheriton, with a fine as-
sumption of the air of a " head beak,'' " your con-
duct merits censure in the highest degree."

" It has received it," said Jim. " I have been
kicking myself for being such a hot-headed fool ever
since it happened."

" One is almost afraid," said Cheriton, ruefully,
*^ that your indiscretion is irreparable. Really, Las-
celles, making due allowance for the fact that your
father was one of the most rash and hasty men I
ever encountered, and allowing further for the fact
that my old friend has a deplorable absence of, shall
we say, amenity, your behavior amounted neither more
nor less than to suicide."

" I don't regret what I did," said Jim, " as far as
that old Gk)rgon of a woman is concerned. I am
afraid I should behave in just the same way again
if I were placed in a similar position. But I know it
was very unwise. As for the portrait, I intend, by
hook or by crook, to finish it."

" Well, Lascelles," said Cheriton, giving the young
fellow a kindly touch on the arm in parting, ** do
what you can; and when the work is complete you
must let me see it."

It was a new Jim Lascelles who returned to Balham
by the twelve-thirty from Victoria and took luncheon
with his mother. He called at the greengrocer's just
as you get out of the station, and arrived at the
Acacias with a number of paper bags tucked under

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208 ARAMINTA

each arm. He hummed the favorite air in the very
latest musical comedy, while he proceeded to make a
salad whose mysteries he had acquired in Paris. He
had been initiated into them by Monsieur Bonnat, the
famous chef of the Hotel Brinvilliers. And it so
happened that Jim's mother, who spoiled him com-
pletely, had purchased a lobster, which she really
couldn't aflTord, such was the current price of that
delicacy and the present state of her finances, to cheer
Jim up a bit.

" My dear," said Jim, " let us have the last bottle
of the Johannisberg."

Miranda, the demure little maid-of -all-work, was
ordered rather magnificently to procure the same.

" Pity 'tis, 'tis the last," said Jim, who proceeded
to toast his mother. " May those precious pub-
lishers," said he, ** learn truly to appreciate a very
remarkable literary genius, my dear."

^ I am afraid they do, dear boy," said she. " That
is the trouble."

" It is a rattling good story, anyhow," said Jim,
stoutly.

" It certainly ends as every self-respecting and
well-conducted story ought. But this old addle-pate
hasn't a spark of literary genius in it."

" Oh, hasn't it ! " said Jim, bringing his fist upon
the table. " George Sand is a fool to you, my
dear."

" Dear fellow," said Jim's mother, with a smile of
pleasure. ** At any rate I am enough of a genius to
like appreciation. But with you, laddie, it is difi^er-

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HYDE PARK 809

ent. You are the real right thing, as dear Henry
James would say."

" Oh, am I? " said Jim. " Well, here's to the Real
Right Thing, whichever of us has it. I know which
side of the table it is, if you don't.''

" The Realest Rightest Thing is outside in the gar-
den waiting for the hand of the master to complete
her."

" Ye gods, the hand of the master ! You pile it on
* a leetle beet tick,' as Monsieur GiUet would say to
you. But shall I tell you a secret? I saw the Goose
Girl this morning."

" Of course you did, dear boy."

" How did you guess? "

" The step on the gravel told me."

" You are wonderful, you know. Fancy your find-
ing it out like that when I tried hard to tread
heavily ! "

" That vain, wicked, foolish, and depraved Goose ! "
said Jim's mother. " You met her in Hyde Park this
morning walking with her duke, and she gave you a
smile, and if she was more than usually foolish, she
said,* Why, it's Jim!'"

'* She was d, cheval. But you are wonderful, you
know," said Jim.

" Riding was -she? And pray how did the great
overgrown creature look outside a horse? "

'* I could never have believed it. She was mounted
on a glorious chestnut, a great mountain of a beast, a
noble stepper ; and in her smart new habit, and in an
extraordinarily coquettish bowler — think on it, my

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810 ARAMINTA

dear, the Goose Girl in a bowler ! — she was a picture
for the gods."

" One can readily believe that the creature would
set high Oljmapus in a roar."

** She was to the manner bom. She might have
learned the art of equitation in la haute ecole instead
of in the home paddock at Widdiford on that screw
of the dear old governor's."

" Oh no, dear boy," said Jim's mother, with de-
cision. " Poor dear Melancthon was anything but a
screw. He was by Martin Luther out of Moll Cut-
purse. He won the point-to-point on three occa-
sions."

" I humbly beg Melancthon's pardon. That ex-
plains why the Goose Girl comes to be so proficient.
She certainly looked this morning as if she had never
sat anything less than the blood of Carbine."

" I think the secret of the whole matter, my son,"
said Jim's mother, profoundly, " is that the Female
Us is so marvelously adaptable. If she is reaUy
smartly turned out on a fine morning in June with a
real live duke on the off side of her and all London
gazing at her, if she had never learned to sit any-
thing else than a donkey she would still contrive to
look as though she had won the whole gymkhana.
It is just that quality that makes the Female Us so
wonderful. It is just that that maketh Puss so soon
get too big for her dancing slippers."

" Well, you wise woman," said Jim, " the Groose
Girl would have taken all the prizes this morning.
And she didn't even cut me."

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HYDE PARK 211

" Cut you, my son ! " exclaimed Jim's mother.
** Gott in himmel ! that Goose cut you indeed ! *'

" There are not many Goose Girls that wouldn't
have done in the circiunstances. But she is True
Blue. And I am going to finish her portrait. And
I am going to make her permanently famous."

Jim's mother tilted the last of the Johannisberg
into his glass.

" Go in and win, dear boy," said she. " You have
genius. Lavish it upon her. Earn fame and for-
tune, and buy back the Red House at Widdif ord."

" And in the meantime," said Jim, " she will
have married that old fossil and borne him three
children."

** She will not, dear boy," said the voice of the
temptress, " if you make her promise not to."

" Oh, that wouldn't be cricket," said Jim, " with
her people so miserably poor and James Lascelles by
no means affluent ; and the old fossil with a house in
Piccadilly, and another in Notts, and another in Fife-
shire, and a yacht in the Solent, and a box at the
Opera, and a mausoleum at Kensal Green. No, old
lady, I'm afraid it wouldn't be cricket."

Jim's mother exposed herself to the censure of all
self-respecting people.

" It would be far less like cricket," said she, " for
that perfect dear of a Goose to have her youth, her
beauty, and her gayety purchased by a worldly old
ruffian who ought to be a grandfather. Come, sir,
she awaits her very parfit gentil knight."

But Jim shook his head solemnly.

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212 ARAMINTA

" No, old lady,'' said he, " I am afraid it wouldn't
be playing the game."

Nevertheless, immediately limcheon was over, Jim
took the key of his studio off the sitting-room chim-
ney-piece, and went forth to the misshapen wooden
erection in the small Balham back garden. The key
turned in the lock stiffly. It was nearly three weeks
since it had last been in it. For several hours he
worked joyfully, touching and retouching the pic-
ture and improvising small details out of his head.
And all the time the Goose Girl smiled upon him in
the old Widdiford manner. Her hair had never
looked so yellow, and her eyes had never looked so
blue.

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CHAPTER XVII

DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US

THE next morning, a little before eleven, the
wonderful Miss Perry, accompanied by the ad-
mirable Mr. Bryant, was approaching Apsley House
when the figure of a solitary horseman was to be
seen. It had a combination of unexpectedness and
familiarity which fixed Miss Perry's attention. She
gave a little exclamation. The horseman was immis-
takably Jim Lascelles.

Jim received a most affectionate greeting.

** You are just in time,'' said he. " It is a near
thing. Gobo is yonder in the offing. I was afraid he
would get here before you."

Miss Perry was delighted but perplexed by a sug-
gestion that Jim put forward. It was that they
should go down the left while Grobo rode up on the
right.

"But I promised Gobo," she said.

"Look here. Goose Girl," said Jim, with tremen-
dous resolution, " do you suppose I have invested the
last half-sovereign I have in the world on the worst
hack in London, to be cut out by that old duffer?
Come on round, you Goose, before he gets up."

Really Miss Ferry is not to be blamed. Jim Las-
218

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ai4. ARAMINTA

celles was resolution incarnate once he had made up
his mind. Jim's horse, a nondescript who does not
merit serious notice, walked a few paces briskly, the
chestnut followed its example, as chestnuts will, and
the next thing was Jim's horse broke into a canter.
The chestnut did the same. Of course*' it was Miss
Perry's business to see that the chestnut did nothing
of the sort. But it has to be recorded that she failed
in her obvious duty. And then, so swift is the road to
destruction, in less time than it takes to inform the
incredulous reader, the chestnut and the nondescript
began literally to fly down Rotten Row.

It was a golden morning of glorious June, and, of
course, things constantly happen at that vernal sea-
son. But as the four pairs of irresponsible hoofs
came thundering by, flinging up the tan in all direc-
tions and nearly knocking over a policeman, eques-
trians of both sexes, and pedestrians too, stared in
polite amazement and very decided disapproval. If
not absolutely contrary to the park regulations, it
was certainly very wrong behavior.

There is every reason to suspect that the opinion
of that high authority, Mr. Bryant, was even more
uncompromising. Not for an instant did he attempt
to cope with the pace that had been set. He was
content sadly to watch his charge get farther and
farther away. He then turned to look back at the
man with the red face, who had just arrived at the
turn.

That elevated personage, who could not see at all
well without his spectacles, halted at the turn and

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US 215

looked in vain for the wonderful Miss Perry. His
friend Cheriton, who had entered the gates just in
time to be au courant with all that had happened, ac-
costed him (Cheerfully.

" Doctors^' orders, Greorge? '*

" Ye-es," said George, rather gruflBy.

** I warned you years ago, my dear fellow," said
his friend, sympathetically, ^^ that any man who
drinks port wine in the middle of the day as a regular
thing, can count later in life on the crown of the
martyr."

Greorge looked rather cross. He peered to the
right and he peered to the left. The ever-receding
pair were by now undecipherable to stronger eyes
than those of George Betterton.

" Seen a gal about? '' he inquired rather irritably.
There never was a duke since the creation of the order
who could endure to be kept waiting.

" I've seen several," said his friend, with an air of
preternatural innocence.

" I mean that gal of Caroline Crewkeme's," said
George.

" I was not aware that she had one."

" Tall, bouncing gal," said Greorge. " Ginger
hair."

" Ginger hair ! " said his friend. " Tall, bouncing
gal! Do you mean my ward. Miss Perry? "

" Your ward! What d'ye mean, Cheriton? "

*' Caroline Crewkeme seems to think," said Cher-
iton, coolly, " that I shall serve the best interests of a
lonely and unprotected and extraordinarily prejKis-

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216 ARAMINTA

sessing girlhood if I act, as it were, in loco parentis
during Miss Perry's sojourn in the vast metropolis."

George began to gobble furiously. It was a sign,
however, that his mind was working. That heavy
and rusty mechanism was very difficult to set in
motion.

^ If it comes to that," said he, ^^ I should say I am
quite as capable of looking after the gal as you are."

" A matter of opinion, Greorge, I assure you," said
Cheriton, with genial candor.

"What d'ye mean?"

" For one thing, I am rather older than you.
Therefore, in Caroline's opinion, I am better fitted to
occupy the paternal office."

" Are you, though? " said George, stubbornly.

" I am sixty-five, you know," said his friend, with
an air of modest pride. " The ideal age, if I may
say so, for wisdom, experience, and knowledge of the
world to coalesce in the service of innocence, beauty,
and extreme youth. At least, I know that is Caro-
line Crewkeme's opinion."

" Goin' to marry the gal, are you? " said Greorge,
bluntly.

Some men are very blunt by nature.

" The exigencies of the situation may render that
course expedient," said Cheriton, rather forensically.
" But in any case, my dear George, speaking with
the frankness to which I feel that my advantage in
years entitles me, I am inclined to doubt the seemli-
ness of the open pursuit by a man of nine and fifty
of a wayside flower."

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US 217

"What d'ye mean, Cheriton?" said George,
with a more furious gobble than any he had yet
achieved.

"What I really mean, my dear fellow,'' said his
friend, " is that you can no longer indulge in the
pleasures of the chase without your spectacles. Had
you been furnished with those highly useful, if not
specially ornamental adjuncts to the hiunan counte-
nance, you would have been able to observe that the
wonderful Miss Perry — ^whose hair, by the way, is
yellow — was spirited away exactly ninety seconds
before you arrived on the scene."

" Who took her? " said George, who by now had
grown purple with suppressed energy.

" A young fellow took her," said Cheriton. " A
smart, dashing, well-set-up young fellow took her, my
dear George. He simply came up, tossed her the
handkerchief, and away they set off hell for leather.
By now they are at the Albert Memorial."

No sooner was this information conveyed to him
than Greorge Betterton did a vain and foolish thing.
Without bestowing another word upon Cheriton he
set off in pursuit. It was supremely ridiculous that
he should have behaved in any such fashion. But it
is surprising how soon the most stalwart among us
loses his poise; how soon the most careful performer
topples off the tight-rope of perfect discretion and
sanity. The spectacle of George pursuing the run-
aways with a haste that was almost as unseemly as
their own was certainly romantic. And at the same
time it provided infinitely pleasant food for the de-
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ai8 ARAMINTA

tached observer who was responsible for George's be-
havior.

Cheriton stood to watch and to laugh sardonically.
The marionette had begun to answer to the strings
in delightful fashion. He promised to excel all
anticipation.

In the meantime Young Blood was careering away
like the wind. Faster and faster it went. It was
higher, deeper, richer, more exhilarating than any of
the old Widdiford madnesses. It was in vain that
the British public looked pained and the London
police looked important. This was its crowded hour
of glorious Kf e ; and if there was to be an end to all
things, there were two persons at least who felt that,
after all, the cosmos had done very well to get itself
invented.

However, this sort of thing cannot last forever.
The nondescript soon began to display signs of dis-
tress.

** Bellows to mend," said Jim.

The glorious Miss Perry had difficulty in checking
her chestnut.

" Why," said she, " he is almost as strcmg as your
papa's pedigree hunter."

" We've done a record from the Red House to the
Parsonage, I think," said Jim.

Even when they turned ta ride back their high
spirits met with no check. The crowded glorious
hour continued, if pitched in a less emoticmal key.
Jim's nondescript was no longer equal to the fine
careless rapture.

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US 219

" Goose Girl," said Jim, " do you know I have
made a resolution ? "

" Have you, Jim? " said Miss Perry.

" I am determined to finish that picture of you in
your wonderful Gainsborough frock.'*

** Of course, Jim," said Miss Perry.

" That picture is to be a masterpiece, you know."

" Is it, Jim? " said Miss Perry.

** Yes," said Jim. " And when it has made me
famous what do you suppose I am going to do? "

" I don't know, Jim," said Miss Perry.

" Can't you guess? "

Miss Perry knitted h^r brows in grave perplexity.

" Marry Muffin."

" What, marry the Ragamuffin ! " said Jim, scorn -
fuUy.

" She is prettier than Polly is."

^^ But she is such a Ragamuffin ; and she has never
an incredible hat and a Gainsborough frock to call
her own."

" She has her mauve, Jim," said Miss Perry.

" No," said Jim, decisively ; " in spite of her mauve
I decline to marry the Ragamuffin."

Miss Perry looked vastly disappointed.

" Milly is too young," said she.

Jim pressed the nondescript. The ice was getting
desperately thin. And every moment the light of the
morning was making it thinner.

" Groose Girl," said Jim, " do you remember that
once you promised to marry me? "

** Yes, I did, Jim," said Miss Perry, " if you got

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220 ARAMINTA

those three big red-cheeked apples off the tree at the
Red House at Widdiford/'

" I got them off all right," said Jim. " But in-
stead of receiving your hand in matrimony I got a
tremendous licking."

** The apples were awfully nice, though," said Miss
Perry, like a true daughter of Eve.

The high personage who controls the limelight con-
tinued to play most embarrassing tricks with the
light of the morning. The hapless Jim Lascelles felt
himself to be no match for that master hand.

" Groose Girl," said Jim, defiantly, " assuming for
a moment that I made myself famous enough to buy
back the Red House at Widdiford, with the straw-
berry beds and the apple orchards, and the old
wicket-gate that leads into the back lane which takes
you straight to the Parsonage — ^would you keep the
promise that you made when you were a long-legged
person of seven, with a very large appetite, and I
was a chubby subject of thirteen and a half with
rather thin trousers? "

" Yes, Jim, I would," said Miss Perry, with re-
markable promptitude, frankness, and sincerity.

" There, now Pve done it," groaned Jim. " It was
bound to happen. I knew the royal daylight would
provoke me to make a cad of myself before it had
done playing its tricks. But if people will have yel-
low hair, and they will wear yellow gauntlets to match
it, and that fellow upstairs will fling the limelight all
over the place, how can a poor p^ting chap help
himself? "

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US 221

Miss Perry had grown very grave. She was sQent
for twenty-five seconds.

" Jim," said she, with slow-drawn solemnity, '* if
you do marry anybody, I r-r-really think it ought to
be Muffin."

"That Ragamuffin!"

" She is such a sweet," said Miss Perry. " And
she is so pretty; and dearest papa says she is
so clever; and of course you know I am rather a
Silly."

" All the world knows it."

" And Muffin always said she would just love to
live at the Red House at Widdif ord."

" Goose Girl," said Jim, " I am afraid you are
deep. You want to marry Gobo."

" Not r-r-really," said Miss Perry, with wide-eyed
earnestness. " Of course he is a dear, but — ^but of
course, Jim, he is not like you are."

" Thank you very much for the information. But
tell me. Goose Girl, wouldn't you like to be a
duchess? "

" Oh no, Jim," said Miss Perry.

" Why not, you Goose? "

** It sounds rather silly."

" So it does, now you come to mention it," s€dd
Jim. " But think of all the wonderful frocks and
jewels you would have, and the wonderful houses, and
the wonderful horses, and the wonderful ices of every
conceivable color and every possible flavor. And as
for cream buns, a duchess of course can have as many
as she requires.'*

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822 ARAMINTA

" I would rather have the Red House at Widdl-
ford," said Miss Perry.

" Really,'* said Jim, '* you are the most tremendous
thing in Greese. Just think what you could do if you
were a duchess. You could buy old books and new
vestments for your papa; Muffin could have a new
mauve; the Polly Girl could marry her parson, and
she could boast of her sister who married the duke;
and the Milly Girl could think more about Persian
kittens and less about self -improvement ; and as for
Dickie and Charley, they both might go to Sandhurst
and probably become field-marshals.'*

The blue eyes of Miss Perry opened in their dazzle-
ment to dimensions that were perfectly astonishing.

"It would be awfully nice," said she; **but,
Jim ''

"Well?"

" I did promise you, didn't I? "

"You would never have got those three red-
cheeked apples if you hadn't," said Jim.

As they neared the turn at Hyde Park Corner they
began unconsciously to assume airs of decorum. The
accusing figure of Mr. Bryant awaited them. Lord
Cheriton too was only a little way off. He stood by
the railings looking the picture of outraged delicacy.

When the runaways came up to greet him he held
up both hands before his face with the gesture of
dismay of a very nice old lady.

" I am dumb," said he.

Apparently Jim Lascelles was smitten with a sim-
ilar infirmity. As for Miss Perry, the ineradicable

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US 223

instincts of her sex assumed the control of that irre-
sponsible person.

" Have you seen Gobo? " she demanded breath-
lessly.

The blend of disinterested concern and absolute
innocence was perfectly charming.

" I could never have believed it," said Cheriton,
with a pained air. " The finished duplicity, the
Jesuitical depth."

" Have you seen him? " demanded Miss Perry.

" Have I seen Gobo? I have seen a roaring, out-
raged lion in the guise of a rampant turkey cock."

"It is an awful pity," said Miss Perry. "We
missed him."

Cheriton felt that he had never observed such
gravely sweet concern in the human countenance. To
have suspected its proprietress of arriire perisSe would
have been barbarism.

" Yes ; an awful pity," Cheriton assented. " Par-
ticularly for men of a rather full habit of body who
are decidedly short in the neck."

" Do you think Gobo will mind? " said Miss Perry.
** You see, Jim " — the handle of Jim^s crop was
ominously near to her knee — " Mr. Lascelles came
up, and we thought if we went down we should be
sure to meet Gobo, but we didn't."

" Lascelles, my good fellow," said his friend, " isn't
it time you began to play up a bit? Miss ^Perry's
lucidity is admirable, but somehow one has the feeling
that her verisimilitude wants eking out a little. Your
version will be interesting."

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224 ARAMINTA

^ My mount cost a cool half-sovereign which I
couldn't afford," said Jim, brazenly, " and I thought
as it was a fine morning I had better have my money's
worth."

Cheriton's smile expanded to the dimensions of his
necktie.

" Yes," said he, laughing, " this sort of thing is
best left to those who are born with the instinct for
diplomacy. Lascelles, my good fellow, you would
have done far better to have pinned your faith to your
companion in guilt. Her version was excellent, if a
little bald. To my mind it was pitched in quite the
right key. It was natural, lucid, admirably reticent.
It clearly suggested that the blame could not belong
to either of you, whoever else it might be fixed upon.
Unfortunately, your own version does not tend to ex-
onerate you equally. I must confess, Lascelles, that
upon my mind it leaves a most unhappy impression."

" The truth is," said Jim, " I am seeking a fresh
store of inspiration in order that I may complete the
chef d*aeuvre.'*

" I think it should be a masterpiece undoubtedly."

" I think so too," said Jim.

Miss Perry's far-seeing, west-country eyes ap-
peared to be searching for something on the far
horizon.

" Gobo is coming," said she.

" Which way? " said Jim.

" He is coming up on the right. Don't you see
him?"

Jim had to strain his gaze.

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DEVELOPMENT OF THE FEMALE US ^26

" Yes ; by Jove, you are right ! " said he. " What
wonderful eyes you have got. Miss Perry ! "

" It is so long since one inhabitated the halcyon era
of one's youth,'' said Cheriton, " that one is rather at
a loss to remember whether Red Riding Hood made
a similar observation to the wolf, or whether the wolf
made the observation to Red Riding Hood."

" The former, undoubtedly," said Jim.

" I am glad of that," said Cheriton. ** I feared it
might have been the latter."

" Hadn't we better be going? " said Jim, brazenly,
to his companion in guilt. " This screw of mine
seems to have got his wind back."

" Has he, Jim.? " said Miss Perry.

Jim's nondescript took a turn to the left. The
chestnut followed in the most natural manner. On
this occasion, however, the distance between the
Parsonage and the Red House at Widdiford was not
accomplished in quite such record time. All the same,
for the greater part of the way the pace was de-
cidedly hot.

" Seen anything of the gal, Gkorge.'^ " inquired his
friend Cheriton.

Greorge was looking very purple indeed.

" I saw a cloud of dust just now," said he. " There
was a ginger-haired gal in it going at a dooce of a
rattle."

" I can't imagine my ward. Miss Perry, attempt-
ing anything in the nature of a rattle," said Cheriton.

** Can't you? " grunted George, sourly.

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CHAPTER XVni

FASHION COM£S TO THE ACACIAS

JIM LASCELLES was inclined to view his morn-
ing as a very great success. It is true that it had
cost him the last half-sovereign he had in the world,
but he felt that it had been invested to full advan-
tage. He had derived a new store of inspiration from
that memorable morning. For a whole week he was
sustained by the recollection of it. He gave up his
days to joyous labor in the wooden erection in the
Balham back garden.

" I shall make something of her after all," said he.

One morning when he came down to breakfast he
found a letter at the side of his plate. This, in itself,
was an event sufficiently rare, because Jim Lascelles
was one of those people who never write a letter if
they can possibly avoid doing so. The envelope had
rather an air about it. Upon the back of it was a
monogram of a distinguished club.

"What ho! "said Jim.

A pair of eyes by no means ill found in worldly
wisdom had duly noted that which was on the back of
the letter.

" The correspondent of dukes," said their owner.
" Which of them is it, my son? "

226 ^ T

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 227

Jim threw the contents of the envelope across the
table with a gay laugh.

Deab Lascelles (it said), — The art of the
age seems clearly to call for the presence at the
Acacias of the wonderful Miss Perry. Unless
the Fates are adverse — which, according to
Juvenal, they are sometimes — she wUl appear
about ^.SO 6* clock to-morrow {Tuesday) after-
noon to claim in her own proper person a cup of
tea^ together with two lumps of sugar and one
cream bun, Btiszard's large size. Forgive the
shortness of the notice. Our old and common
friend did not develop sufficiently marked symp-
toms of laryngitis until this morning to submit
to the decree of her medical adviser. He has
ordered her to keep her bed. The accomplished
Miss Burden accompanies us in an official
capacity. Ponto does not.

Sincerely yours,

Cheeiton.

P.S. — Strawberries and cream are known to
be very delectable.

Jim's uncommonly youthful mother was vastly
amused.

" Never tell me, my son,'* said she, " that an ex-
tremely well-informed Providence does not watch over
the destinies of even the humbler denizens of the
suburb of Balham. We are to be deluged with three
persons of fashion, and the Miss Champneys are sure

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228 ARAMINTA

to pay a call — ^they always pay a call — ^this after-
noon."

" Those old guys," said Jim. " I sincerely hope
not."

** When will you leam, my son," said Jim's mother,
" to be more respectful towards the two great ladies
of our neighborhood, the real live daughters of a de-
ceased dean? "

" I beg their pardons," said Jim, who was
humbled. " I am afraid I have been getting very un-
couth of late."

" The great world is so unsettling, my son. I am
afraid you are already beginning to patronize a
ridiculous old frump like me."

" Beginning ! " said Jim.

" But remember, my son, I am determined that I
will not be patronized in my own house by your friend
the duke."

" Oh ! he won't try to," said Jim, airily. " He's
a very civil old soul, the same as you are,
my dear, although his circumstances are rather
better."

" I won't be patronized by that Goose either," said
Jim's mother, with tremendous spirit.

" You run no danger in that quarter," said Jim.
" It will be as much as ever she can do adequately to
patronize the strawberries and cream."

" And who, pray, is the accomplished Miss Burden?
I will not be patronized by her either."

" I won't answer for you there, senora. You might
get short shift from that quarter."

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 229

" We shall see, my son," said Jim's mother, with an
air almost of truculence.

The back sitting-room at the Acacias was really a
very mediocre affair. It contained so little furniture
that it was made to look half as large again as it
actually was. The small room was cool and tasteful
if, perhaps, somewhat too obviously simple and inex-
pensive. It contained not a single reminiscence of
bygone grandeur. For one thing, the crash had been
rather in the nature of a holocaust; and again, an
opulent past is a poor sort of aid to a penurious
present.

The walls were decorated by a blue wash and by a
single picture, a study by Monsieur Gillet for his en-
chanting *' La Dame au Gant." It had been given
by that master to a young English pupil of whom he
was extremely fond. It held the bare walls all by
itself. Jim was a little vain about it. Then there
was a little shelf of books. It comprised five novels
by Turgenev, two by Stendhal, three by Anatole
France, four by Meredith, three by Henry James,
two volumes of Heine, the lyrics of Victor Hugo, two
plays of D*Annunzio, and a volume of Baude-
laire. There were two bowls of roses also, which
Jim had procured for his mother in honor of the
occasion.

At a quarter to four Mrs. Lascelles sat reading
" Pecheur d'Islande " for the thirteenth time. She
looked very cool and dainty in a simple black dress,
embellished with still simpler white muslin. Her look
of youth had never been quite so aggressive ; and in

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280 ARAMINTA

Jim's opinion her wise little smile of tempered gayety
was perfectly irresistible.

" My dear," said Jim, censoriously, " it is time you
made a serious effort to look older."

"I do try so hard," said Mrs. Lascelles, plain-
tively. " This is positively the most frumpish frock
I possess, and I have done my hair over my ears on
purpose."

" Haven't you an older frock? " said Jim.

" This one is decidedly the elder of the two, laddie."

"How old is it.?"

" Seven years."

" And what is the age of the other one? "

" It is a mere infant. It is only five."

" Then it is quite time you had a new one."

" It is not usual, I believe, for a woman to get a
new dress for the purpose of making herself look
older."

" But then you are a most unusual woman."

" I don't want to be unusual, laddie. I do try so
hard not to be. If there is one thing I dislike more
intensely than another it is an unusual woman."

'* Then you are very perverse. I wonder what ef-
fect it would have if you did your hair higher."

" I will try if you like ; but I know "

" What do you know? " said Jim, sternly.

" That I never look quite so maternal as when I
have it over my ears."

"Well, it's a serious matter. I look like being
driven to get a new mother."

" There is a scarcity of good ones, my son."

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 281

Jim scanned the tiny sitting-room with a very
critical look.

" Upon my word," said he, " that little rosewood
piano and that little effort of Monsieur Gillet's are
the only decent things in it."

'* I am afraid we have an air of cheap gentility,"
said his mother. ^^ But don't let them sneer at it.
Grentility of any kind is quite an honorable aspira-
tion."

" I wonder," said Jim, " if there is anybody in the
neighborhood who would lend us a Peerage for the
afternoon. We might stick it in the center of the
room upon that little Japanese table."

The front-door bell was heard to ring.

" Too late, too late," said Mrs. Lascelles, dramati-
cally. " The peerage has already arrived."

" It is the Miss Champneys," said Jim.

" I think not, laddie. It is only twenty past four,
and it is so much more impressive to pay a call at
five."

" Two to one it's the Hobson Family."

The countenance of Jim's mother assumed a look
of anxiety that bordered upon the tragic.

" By all the saints and all the powers," said she,
" I had quite forgotten the existence of the Hobson
Family. Do you really think it can be?"

"I am perfectly sure of It," said Jim, with im-
mense conviction. " This is an opportunity that the
Hobson Family could not possibly miss."

" Oh dear, oh dear ! " said Jim*s mother, " what is
to be done? "

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282 ARAMINTA

" These things are sent to try us," said Jim,
philosophically. " The Hobson Family has no other
raison d'etre.**

" Alack ! alack ! " gasped Jim's mother.

The little maid-of-all-work entered the room. With
her prim freckled countenance and her hair, which
like herself was quite unnecessarily pretty, done over
a roll, she conveyed somewhat the impression of a
small cat who has the furtive air of a confirmed cream
stealer. Also she had the air of one who takes an
immense interest in everything.

" Miss Burden," announced the little maid-of-all-
work, as though it gave her great pleasure to do so.
" Miss Perry. The Earl of Cheriton."

Mrs. Lascelles laid " Pecheur d'Islande " upon the
varnished boards. She rose to greet Miss Perry with
an exclamation. In the circumstances it was most
natural, for Miss Perry was looking neither more nor
less than a goddess.

Jim's mother took a hand of Miss Perry in each
of her own.

" You are too wcmderf ul," s€dd she. ** You take
away one's breath. I always predicted that you
would grow up a beautiful girl ; but, really, who could
have expected this.'*

Miss Perry said nothing at first. She merely pro-
ceeded to hug Jim's mother in the traditional Widdi-
ford manner.

Mrs. Lascelles appeared to undergo some little per-
sonal inconvenience in the process.

^^ You wonderful being," she gasped.

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 288

Jim presented Miss Burden to his mother with a
formal and becoming gravity. There was always a
veiled tenderness about the eyes of Miss Burden which
to some people rendered her oddly attractive. Her
air of shjmess was also thought by some to be a merit.

" So sweet of you to come," said Jim's mother.
She had already performed the feminine operation
of falling in love with Miss Burden at first sight.

" I should also like, my dear," said Jim, with ex-
cellent gravity, " to make you and Lord Cheriton
acquainted with one another. You can't think how
kind he has been to me."

Jim's mother gazed demurely into the complacent
and amused countenance of that peer.

" I think I ought to be able to guess," said she.

" Capital," that peer was heard to murmur with
extraordinary irrelevance.

" I beg your pardon," said Jim.

** Not at all, my dear fellow," said Cheriton, in his
most graciously musical manner, " not at all. I made
no observation. But I should like to be allowed to
make one. What remarkable sunshine for London."

*' The sunshine is occasionally quite obtrusive at
Balham," said Jim's mother. " Lower the sunblind a
little, laddie. You will find that chair the coolest,
Lord Cheriton."

It was really not necessary for Mrs. Lascelles to
offer the coolest chair to Lord Cheriton. For, if the
truth must be told, he looked cool enough already. It
was perhaps his most assiduously cultivated and most
carefully cherished characteristic. However, he took

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284 ARAMINTA

the chair Jim's mother had indicated. He took it
ahnost as if he were conferring homage upon it.
Having chosen a likely spot upon the varnished
boards upon which to set his silk hat, he proceeded to
place it there with immense precision. He then
crossed his lavender trousers very urbanely, display-
ing in the process an extremely neat and spotless pair
of white gaiters. He then placed his black-rimmed
eyeglass in the left or more fashionable eye, and sur-
veyed his surroundings with a leisurely benevolence
that was really most engaging.

By the time Cheriton appeared to be pleasantly
settled, and by the time Mrs. Lascelles had fully re-
covered from the effects of Miss Perry's third hug,
she said —

" Ring, laddie.''

Jim obeyed. He had assimied already an air of
almost unwarrantable humor.

The little maid-of -all-work entered.

" Tea, please, Miranda," said her mistress.

Miranda embellished the conmiand of her mistress
with a totally unnecessary half courtesy which she
was apt to produce upon state occasions. It was a
remarkably effective little affair, although its true
place was undoubtedly a comic opera.

" Capital ! " murmured Cheriton. And then, as a
pause in the conversation seemed to give his remark
a significance to which it laid no claim, he added
sententiously, " weather ! "

" Yes," said Jim, " capital weather."

Miss Burden addressed a remark to Jim's mother.

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 286

'* Do you think the exhibition of the Royal Acad-
demy is equal to the last one? "

** I think it is better," said Mrs. Lascelles, with
an air of conviction, " decidedly better, don't
you?"

** That is because there is a picture by a young
fellow of the name of Lascelles in it," said Jim.

*' Quite a sufficient reason," said Cheriton.

" The brutes have skyed me, though," said Jim.

** Jealousy, my dear fellow," said Cheriton. " The
Church, the stage, and the fine arts live in perpetual
dread of the rising generation."

" That is so true. Lord Cheriton," said Jim's
mother. " I am so glad to hear you say that. Of
course it is jealousy. Those musty and stereotyped
old R.A.'s are dreadfully frightened of young men
with new ideas."

" Profoundly true, my dear Mrs. Lascelles ; pro-
foundly true," said Cheriton, with the deference of a
courtier.

" My mother expects every one who enters this
house," said Jim, aggrievedly, " to declare that I'm a
genius."

" I do not find it at all hard," said Cheriton, " to
obey that condition."

"People of taste never do," said Jim's mother,
beaming upon my lord.

The little maid-of-all-work brought in a tea-tray
and a basket of comestibles.

" Miranda," said her mistress, " if Mrs. Hobson
calls, or Miss Hermia Hobson, or Miss Harriet Hob-

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286 ARAMINTA

son, or Mr. Hobson, or Mr. Herbert Hobson, or Mr.
Henry Hobson calls, I am not at home."

" Thank you, ma'am," said the little mald-of -all-
work, with an air of great intelligence, and with a
further display of the comic-opera courtesy.

" Sugar or lemon, Miss Burden? " said Jim's
mother.

Miss Burden took sugar, a small Imnp. Miss Perry
took two lumps, size not stated.

" I wish these cups were more sensible," said Jim's
mother, with a reminiscence and an apology.

" That cup is absurd, my dear," said Jim.

Miss Perry seemed inclined to agree with
Jim.

" Fetch the largest cup we have in the house,
please, Miranda," said her mistress.

" Thank you so much, dear Mrs. Lascelles," said
Miss Perry.

Jim handed bread and butter and strawberries.
Miss Burden was content with a small slice of the
former. Miss Perry was more eclectic in her patron-
age. Jim was then guilty of an action which his
mother was forced to consider as singularly ill bred.
He took up the plate of cream buns, Buszard's large
size, which had been specially procured, and placed it
on the chimneypiece in a very ostentatious manner.
And at the same time he indulged in a classical quota-
tion to Lord Cheriton, who laughed as though he
understood it. It is possible that Miss Burden under-
stood it also, but Mrs. Lascelles seemed a little doubt-
ful about its meaning. As for Miss Perry, she was

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 237

perfectly frank and wholly unabashed in her abysmal
ignorance.

" What does it mean? " she demanded, with a thrill
in her voice and her azure orbs very wide.

" It means,'* said Jim, " it is better to contemplate
from afar the rewards of virtue than to partake of
them prematurely."

" A free translation, my dear fellow," said Cheri-
ton, " creditable alike to your scholarship, your liter-
ary instinct, and your knowledge of human nature."

" But you owe me one, you know," said Miss Perry.
" Doesn't he. Lord Cheriton.? "

" I am afraid, Lascelles," said that peer, " it will
be necessary to return a true bill."

Jim presented Miss Perry with one cream bim on a
blue china plate.

" That spotted cake with the almonds in it is top-
ping," said he, attempting maliciously to embarrass
Miss Perry with riches. ** The pastrycook who cre-
ates it has a reputation that extends as far as Upper
Tooting and Streatham."

" I will try some," said Miss Perry.

Lord Cheriton took lemon with his tea, also a rusk.

" Genius is a delightful thing," said he, conversa-
tionally. "I have a genius for admiring it in
others."

" One feels sure you must have," said Jim's mother,
most sympathetically. " I am trying to cultivate it
also. As one is the mother of a highly gifted son, one
feels that one ought."

" Precisely," said Cheriton. " And may one ven-

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238 ARAMINTA

ture to remark that you will not find the undertaking
difficult? '»

" Lord Cheriton,'* said Jim, in a tone of warning,
" weigh your words carefully. My life is in danger
of becoming a burden to me. As for you, senora,"
said Jim, sternly, " once more, and with the most
marked publicity, I deny with all the vehemence of
which I am capable that I am a genius.'*

" What, pray, is the use? '* said his mother. ** It
is futile to deny it. Besides, even if you were not, it
is not right to contradict your old mother, especially
before company."

" So true," murmured the arbiter elegantiarum
nibbling at his rusk.

Jim, however, was a young fellow with resources.
He proceeded immediately to carry the war into the
enemy's country.

" I am afraid. Lord Cheriton," said he, " that
judgment is not my mother's strong point. You see,
she is not so mature as she might be."

" I have observed it," said Cheriton.

" Her absence of judgment," said Jim, coolly, " or
her absence of maturity? "

" I have observed her absence of maturity," said
Cheriton, with a coolness in nowise behind the cool-
ness of Jim.

** In my opinion," said Jim, " she is too young
to be the mother of d. great hulking fellow like
me."

" I am inclined to agree with you, Lascelles," said
my lord, with his courtier's air. *' But in my humble

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 289

judgment it is a pleasant folly for a mother to err on
the side of youth."

" It is a form of indiscretion not without its dan-
gers," said Jim.

" Yes, my dear Lascelles, you are undoubtedly
right there."

" This spotted cake with the almonds in it is
awfully nice," said Miss Perry.

" The confection with the pink icing and the
sugar-plums is generally admired at Balham," said
Jim.

" I will try some," said Miss Perry. " Quite a
small piece, please. I think pink icing is so nice;
don't you? "

" I do," said Jim, cutting a liberal piece for two
persons.

A ring was heard to proceed from the front-door
bell. Mrs. Lascelles betrayed anxiety.

" I trust," said she, " our small Cerberus will
prove equal to a frontal attack by the Hobson
family."

" She will, unquestionably," said Jim, with an air
of reassurance.

" It would be a great disappointment if she didn't,"
said Cheriton, " if one may venture to express a
purely personal emotion."

" Why, Lord Cheriton? " said Jim's mother. Her
tone was a natural blend of surprise and interest.

"A lifelong habit of minute observation," said
Cheriton, " emboldens one to think that she would
prove equal to anything."

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240 ARAMINTA

Before Cheriton could suffer rebuke for holding an
opinion upon such a subject, the little maid-of -all-
work announced —

" Lady Charlotte Greg, Miss Champneys, Miss
Laetitia Champneys."

The space of the small back sitting-room was
sensibly diminished by the entrance of three tall bony
women, each equally austere of feature and ponderous
of manner. Each was veiled and habited in black
with white facings ; and although their boots were not
elastic-sided, it is difficult to advance any adequate
reason for their not being so fashioned.

Miss Champneys, whose manner was decidedly
impressive, introduced to Jim's mother Lady Char-
lotte Greg, her oldest friend, who was staying with
them at The Laurels for the purpose of opening the
sale of work at Saint Agatha's. Lady Charlotte
Greg, the daughter of a successful politician and the
wife of an evangelical bishop, conveyed the right de-
gree of distance in her greeting. And after all, when
you come to think of it, the distance is very great be-
tween a tiny back sitting-room at Balham and the
Palace at Marchester.

While these three very large ladies were adjusting
themselves to three somewhat small chairs, and they
were accepting tea from a fresh brew duly procured
by the assiduous Miranda, each lifted her black veil
and scrutinized her surroundings and her company
with a rather ruthless directness. It always seemed
to the quailing hostess of the Acacias, the Chestnuts,
the Elms, or of Beaconsfield Villas, when she met that

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FASHION COMES TO THE ACACIAS 241

glance that a personal apology was demanded from
her.

All three ladies were unanimous in the opinion that
Mrs. Lascelles' callers were overdressed. And in their
opinion to be overdressed was to be guilty of one of
the seven deadly sins.

'' I am convinced/' said Miss Laetitia Champneys,
in an undertone to Lady Charlotte Greg, ** that that
girl in the preposterous hat with feathers is an
actress."

In the opinion of Miss Laetitia Champneys
for any person to be an actress was to identify
one's self with the most elemental form of human
degradation.

" Do you suppose I require to be told, Laetitia? "
said Lady Charlotte, bridling. She felt that not only
her sense of decency but also her knowledge of the
world had been aspersed. " And that preposterous
person with the eyeglass," added Lady Charlotte,
** is, of course, an actor-manager."

Neither Miss Laetitia nor her elder sister, Miss
Champneys, was quite sure what an actor-manager
really was. They did know, however, that dear Char-
lotte was excelled by none in knowledge of the
world.

Lady Charlotte, as is the way with Lady Charlottes
all the world over, as the erudite inform us, put up her
glasses. She proceeded to study the actor-manager,
a rare species of wild fowl of which the Close of Mar-
chester was mercifully free, in a manner which can
only be described as remorseless. Yet the actor-man-

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242 ARAMINTA

ager appeared to suffer no embarrassment. He
serenely changed his black-rinmied monocle from his
left eye to his right, which, if not quite so fashion-
able as the other one, was rather perversely endowed
with better powers of vision.

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CHAPTER XIX

A SOCIAI. TEIUMPH

FOR almost the space of a minute a battle royal
was waged between the monocle and the long-
handled folders. All present, with the exception of
Miss Perry, who was not in the habit of observing
anything, sat in breathless silence to observe the
issue. And incredible as it may appear, the issue
was not with the long-handled folders.

" Capital ! " murmured the victor, to nobody in
particular, and for no apparent reason.

Jim Lascelles was one of those unfortunate and
misguided people who have an extraordinary flair for
what they call " fun." He bent over to his mother.

** Don't give the show away yet," said he.

** You are too cryptic, my son, for this addle-pate."

** Don't you see," said Jim. " They think our dark
horse is an outsider. Had they known they wouldn't
have come."

Jim's mother smiled her little half smile whose fur-
tive mischief was really far more becoming than it
ought to have been.

** When is the sale of work. Lady Charlotte? " she
asked, in order to keep the pot boiling.

The simple question was received by the three
ladies with hauteur. As the sale of work began on

248

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244 ARAMINTA

the morrow, and Mrs. Lascelles had promised to pre-
side over the bran tub or the refreshment stall or the
rummage counter, she was not quite clear which, their
demeanor was perhaps not unnatural.

" The sale of work begins to-morrow at three
o'clock, Mrs. Lascelles," said Miss Champneys, coldly.

" Of course," said Jim's mother. " How stupid of
me! I knew that perfectly well. What I meant to
have said was, which is the day upon which Lady
Charlotte will perform the opening ceremony? "

" The firsty Mrs. Lascelles," said Miss Champneys
and Miss Laetitia, speaking as one.

" Of course," said Jim's mother ; and involuntarily
added the rider, " how stupid of one ! " The Miss
Champneys were matchless in putting people in the
wrong. " What I should have asked was, who will
perform the ceremony on the second day ? "

" The wife of the member," said Miss Champneys.

" And on the third? " asked Jim's mother, rather
obviously.

" Lady Plunket," said Miss Laetitia.

*^ The wife of the brewer? " asked Jim.

Jim's question provoked a further display of
hauteur. In the first instance it was an act of pre-
sumption for a young man like Jim to have ventured
to ask a question at all, and in the second he had
contrived to ask the sort of question that stamped
him as belonging to the neighborhood.

** Lady Plimket was a Coxby, I believe," said Miss
Champneys. She assumed an air of devastation,
which was singularly becoming to one whose fore-

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 246

bears, according to their own oral and written testi-
mony, had first appeared in these islands in the train
of the Conqueror.

"Any relation to the parson chap?" inquired
Cheriton, casually.

Lady Charlotte Greg again elected to do battle.

" I am informed that Lady Plunket is a niece of
the late Archbishop Coxby," said she, in a tone and
manner which for two decades had cowed the minor
clergy of the diocese.

"Archbishop, was he.?" said Cheriton. "I only
knew him in his capacity of a bore."

Each of the three ladies was susceptible of a little
quiver of horror.

" Pray where did you meet him? " demanded Lady
Charlotte Greg, with dilated nostril.

" Li the House," said Cheriton. " Shockin' bore
in the House."

Lady Charlotte raised her glasses with studious
care.

" The domestic life of Archbishop Coxby was re-
nowned for its simplicity," said she.

A pause surcharged with suppressed emotion fol-
lowed, and then the ludicrous drawl of Miss Perry
was heard in the land.

" I think a sale of work is too sweet," said that
Featherbrain. " We always have one once a year in
the parish room at Slocum Magna."

The Miss Champneys and Lady Charlotte Greg
received this announcement with a frosty disdain
which, sad to relate, had not the least effect upon Miss

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246 ARAMINTA

Perry. The fine shades of social feeling did not per-
colate to that obtuse person.

** That is very interesting, my dear Miss Groose,"
said Cheriton, in his most mellifluous manner ; " very
interesting indeed."

"We raised eight pounds two and ninepence for
the organ fund in 1900, at Slocum Magna," drawled
Miss Perry.

" Where, pray, is Slocum Magna? " inquired Lady
Charlotte Greg.

Miss Perry had learned by this time that whenever
Slocum Magna was mentioned in the presence of
London people the question was inevitable. However,
before she could take steps to enlighten Lady Char-
lotte Greg, Cheriton favored her with a paternal
finger.

" Permit me, my dear Miss Goose," said he, elabo-
rately. " Slocum Magna," he proceeded, with the
weighty air of one who is no stranger to the Front
Bench, " is the next village to Widdiford."

" And where, pray, is Widdiford? " inquired Lady
Charlotte Greg.

" Widdiford," said Cheriton, meditatively, " Wid-
diford is the place where the Red House is and where
they haven't quite got the railway, don't you know."

" But it is only three miles away," chimed Miss
Perry.

The pause which ensued made Jim's mother and
the Miss Champneys wonder what was going to hap-
pen. All three felt a little uncomfortable. On the
contrary. Lady Charlotte Greg felt it to be a tribute

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 247

to the overpowering nature of her personaKty, and
was gratified accordingly. Cheriton crossed and re-
crossed his lavender trousers, and changed the glass
from the right eye to the left with the air of a High
Church clergyman pronouncing the benediction.

*^ Have you been to see the horses at the Hippo-
drome.? " inquired the undefeated Miss Perry of Lady
Charlotte Greg.

" I have not," said that lady, with a quiver of an
evangelical top-knot.

"Have you.**" inquired Miss Perry of the Miss
Champneys.

" My sister and I have not," said the elder Miss
Champneys, whose top-knot, although not quite so
evangelical as Lady Charlotte's, yet contrived to
quiver just as much.

*^ You ought," said Miss Perry, with irresistible
friendliness. " They play bridge and fire off
guns and pretend to be dead. I have been nine
times."

The Miss Champneys conferred in discreet under-
tones with Lady Charlotte Greg.

" Too natural to be an actress," said that author-
ity. " Her hair and skin bear inspection. If she
were not so painfully overdressed she would be a sin-
gularly beautiful girl."

" Can you place that curiously artificial person? "
asked Miss Laetitia, who had a passion for exact
knowledge.

" An actor-manager unmistakably," said Infalli-
bility with immense decision.

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248 ARAMINTA

" Is he the father, do you suppose? " inquired the
insatiable Miss Laetitia.

" Dear me, no, Laetitia. Can you not see that that
girl is by way of being a lady? '*

All unwittingly the hostess proceeded to deal In-
fallibility a blow.

" Lady Charlotte," said she, " may I introduce
Lord Cheriton, an old schoolfellow of my husband's?
Miss Champneys — ^Lord Cheriton. Miss Laetitia
Champneys — ^Lord Cheriton. May I also introduce
Miss Burden and Miss Perry? Lady Charlotte Greg
— Miss Champneys, Miss Laetitia Champneys."

During the bowings and the counter bowings that
ensued, Jim Lascelles seized the opportunity to say to
his mother —

" You gave the dark horse away too soon, senora.
There might have been fim."

" If you wish to succeed in life, my son," his mother
admonished him, "never treat the peerage flip-
pantly."

** I shotdd like to go to-morrow to the sale of
work," said Miss Perry.

" You shall, my dear Miss Goose," said Cheriton,
" because I feel sure that your papa would like you
to, provided that we have Lady Charlotte's assurance
that there will be no harangue from Parson Coxby's
daughter."

"Lady Plunket does not appear imtil Friday,"
said Lady Charlotte, by no means ungraciously, " and
I only intend to say a few words myself."

The Miss Champneys were not overawed by Lor3

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 249

Cheriton because they were gentlewomen bom, but
neither they nor the wife of the Bishop of Marchester
had quite so much condescension as when they entered
the little Balham sitting-room. It is trivial to dwell
on these things. Self-respecting people really don't
notice them — at least, they make it a poinb of honor
to appear not to do so. But there are cynics in the
world who hke to lay stress upon them. Not the wife
of the Bishop of Marchester alone, but the Miss
Champneys also began to thaw perceptibly. And
presently, for the first occasion during their inter-
course, Miss Laetitia went the length of addressing
Jim's mother as " dear Mrs. Lascelles."

It was a really great afternoon for Jim's mother.
The Miss Champneys had never exhibited themselves
in such an agreeable light. Lady Charlotte Greg
also softened the first impression she had created, and
contrived to be quite agreeable too. It was Miss Bur-
den who asked of malice prepense whether they had
seen Mr. Lascelles' picture at the Royal Academy.
They had not, these ladies assured Miss Burden, but
they would make a point of going specially to Bur-
lington House to do so. It was Lord Cheriton, with
a very direct look at Jim's mother, who mentioned
Mr. Lascelles' undoubted genius.

** Of course," said Miss Laetitia, ** Mr. Lascelles
must have -genius if he exhibits at the Royal
Academy."

" It doesn't necessarily follow, Laetitia," said Lady
Charlotte Greg, who felt with justice that Miss
Laetitia was impinging upon her prerogative of dis-

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260 ARAMINTA

pensing universal information. ^^ Before now I have
known quite second-rate people exhibit at the Royal
Academy.'*

" Have you, though? " said Cheriton. " That is
interesting."

" There is Mottrom," said Lady Charlotte Greg.
" One finds his pictures there continually. Nothing
will convince me that Mottrom is first rate. One feels
one ought really to draw the line at the music of
Wagner and the pictures of Mottrom.'*

" Capital ! " said Cheriton.

The voice of Miss Perry was heard again in the
land.

" Do you like the pictures of Joseph Wright of
Derby? " inquired that art critic.

Jim's mother looked at Lord Cheriton, and Lord
Cheriton looked at Jim's mother with great demure-
ness.

**A police constable, was he not?" said Lady
Charlotte Greg.

" Lord Cheriton knows," said Miss Perry.

** Very probably," said that authority, with the air
of one to whom a great truth has presented itself un-
expectedly. " To be sure, what could be more natural
than Police Constable Joseph Wright of Derby? "

Jim Lascelles began to grow restless, as sensitive
souls are apt to do when amateurs begin to talk
" shop " for their benefit. And in his capacity of a
common-sense young Englishman of athletic tastes,
he felt that to call a man a genius was much the
same as kicking him. Of course mothers are privi-

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 251

leged. In self-defense, however, Jim began to carry
the war into the enemy's country.

" Does anybody object to Chopin? " said he.

Nobody did.

** Then you must play your Kttle piece, my dear,"
said Jim, with a cool air of triumph.

Jim's mother protested, of course; and of course
her six callers were unanimous in their insistence.
Jim opened the little rosewood piano, and arranged
the music-stool with a dual sense of satisfaction. Not
only had he turned the tables effectually, but also he
was genuinely proud of his mother's playing.

Jim had reason to be proud of it. Truth to tell,
she played a waltz about as well as it could be played
by an amateur on a cottage piano in a small back
sitting-room. The ladies, with the exception of Miss
Perry, rewarded her with a murmur of thanks. Miss
Perry was not content with anything less than vigor-
ous applause. Cheriton, on the contrary, was
strangely silent.

" She talks about me," said Jim, triumphantly,
" so I shall now talk about her. Pachmann is the
only person in Europe who knows more about Chopin
than she does."

" I know something about Chopin too," said
Cheriton.

As he spoke all his artifice seemed to fall away
from him in the oddest manner. It struck Jim all at
once that his face was old and worn and tired.

** You will hardly believe," said Cheriton, in an
altered voice, " where I first heard that. It was at a

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252 ARAMINTA

little house in the Rue Saint Antoine. Greorge Sand
was living in it at that time, and Chopin brought it
there and played it to us the evening he composed it.
They were all there — ^De Musset, Flaubert, Edmond
de Goncourt, and that weird fellow "

" Theophile Gautier," said Jim's mother.

'* Yes, Gautier. Those were great days.''

Cheriton slowly uncrossed his lavender trousers,
and rose with a little sigh. He closed the lid of the
rosewood piano reverently.

" He was such a gentle fellow," he said quaintly.
" Such a gentle fellow."

The eyes of Jim's mother looked strangely bright.

"And the Dudevant?" said she, in a soft tone.
** Was she — was she an ogress ? "

" No ; merely a child of nature. They were all
children of nature. That man had a soul."

It struck all, with the exception of Miss Perry, as
quite odd that the old exquisite should replace very
carefully the music-stool under the little rosewood
piano. There was something incongruous about the
action.

" He was such a gentle fellow," he said.

When Cheriton turned his tall and corseted form
away from the piano, Jim's mother observed that
his eyes looked curiously hollow and faded, and that,
for all their carmine, his cheeks looked old and worn.
He took Jim by the arm in his paternal manner.

" Come, my dear fellow," he said, " take us to see
your masterpiece."

" One moment," said Jim, disengaging his arm.

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 263

He walked to the chimney-piece, and solemnly took
up the plate of cream buns. With these in his hand
he led the way through the open French window to
the wooden erection in the garden. Cheriton brought
up the rear of the procession, shepherding the six
ladies with his usual air of excessive gallantry.

The painting-room contained merely a rug for the
floor, a large and comfortable sofa with cushions, and
at the far end, in a sumptuous light, the single canvas
three parts complete. A dozen studies of the great
subject and minor works had been tidied away.

The Miss Champneys gave vent to their admira-
tion.

" But surely," said Lady Charlotte Greg, making
great play with her glasses — " but surely this is a
very fine picture."

" I am beginning to think so," said Cheriton, com-
placently.

" I have thought so from the first," said the mother
of the artist.

" I also, dear Mrs. Lascelles,". said Miss Burden.

" I wish I could have worn my fancy frock," said
Miss Perry, without any suggestion of vanity. " But
it is not for out of doors."

" The frock does not trouble me," said Jim. " It
is that incredible hat that I am exercised about."

" Licredible hat? " said Lady Charlotte Greg.

" She wear-eth an in-cred-ible hat," said Jim.

Without preface or apology Miss Perry seated
herself in the center of the sofa and assumed her
pose.

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254 ARAMINTA

" A singularly beautiful sitter," said Lady Char-
lotte Greg, "and singularly placable."

With an ostentation that in the circumstances was
remarkable, Jim Lascelles placed the plate of cream
buns on a small table at a respectful distance from
the sofa.

" I must now," said Jim, courteously, " request the
public to withdraw."

" Rembrandt himself could not have bettered it,"
said Cheriton, as he stood by the door to shep-
herd into the garden five irresponsible creatures
who were babbling incoherent criticism of the fine
arts.

By the time Miss Perry returned to the little sit-
ting-room she had duly earned, received, and assimi-
lated two cream buns, Buszard's large size. For her
the sitting had been a decided success, and Jim Las-
celles was inclined to view it in that light also. Al-
ready he had put an immense amount of labor into
the picture, and he was now beginning to feel that
the end was in sight. And looking at it as it grew,
touching and retouching it continually, learning to
treat every detail with a boldness and a delicacy of
which he had hardly dared to believe himself to be
capable, he could not help feeling that this work stood
for growth.

Already he knew himself to be artistically thrice
the stature of when it was begun. Something had
been bom in him. It was the culmination of seven
years' single-minded and assiduous labor. Indeed,
Jim Lascelles was almost beginning to realize that

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A SOCIAL TRIUMPH 255

some fine morning he might wake to find himself
famous.

When sitter and painter returned to the house
Ctieriton was discovered reading " La Chartreuse de
Parme " aloud to Miss Burden and Jim's mother.

" Now we must fly," said Miss Burden. " I tremble
to think of what will happen.''

" I shall make what apologies I can for you," said
Cheriton. " I suppose we shall have to plead guilty
to finding the polo at Hurlingham very absorbing."

An invitation to partake of pot-luck was declined
reluctantly. Miss Burden was genuinely alarmed.
However, the three distinguished visitors left the
Acacias with the request that they might come again.

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CHAPTER XX

MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED WITH SILVER

MISS BURDEN was subjected to severe treat-
ment on her return to Hill Street. She was
forbidden to go to Hurlingham again during the
rest of the season. The faithful gentlewoman felt
very guilty. She bent her head before the torrent of
abuse, which, wholly contrary to the doctor's orders,
was showered upon her. All the same, Miss Burden
felt herself to be privy to a romance. The visit to
Balham comprised elements which compensated her
for the persecution to which she was subjected.

Sir Wotherspoon Ogle, old Lady Crewkeme's
medical adviser, was strongly of opinion that abuse
is not good for laryngitis. But, as we already know,
the arbitrary patient of that distinguished physician
not only despised the clergy, but also had a poor
opinion of the medical profession.

" Lady Crewkerne," Sir Wotherspoon had said,
" do not speak for three days."

" Rubbish ! " said that old woman, in a husky
wheeze.

** I will not answer for the consequences," said Sir
Wotherspoon.

** Answer for the consequences, forsooth ! " said the
formidable patient. " In my opinion it is time the

256

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MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED 257

law was amended. The medical profession ought to
be more amenable to it.''

On the following morning the old lady was rather
worse.

Nevertheless George Betterton called upon her for
the second time during her ilhiess, and was received
in audience within the sanctity of her chamber. Yet
this also was not in accordance with the advice of
those who had charge of her case.

Cheriton called at half -past twelve the same morn-
ing. To him, however, access to the vicinity of the
four-poster was denied. When he learned that
George Betterton had been thus favored for half an
hour past he assumed a grave demeanor.

" What is that man after? " he said to Miss Bur-
den, mistrustfully. " No good, I am afraid. Yes-
terday it was the same. They spent an hour together
as thick as thieves. And yet Caroline is unable to
see her oldest friend, a disinterested adviser and sin-
cere well-wisher."

Miss Burden could throw no light upon the
mystery.

" How is she this morning.'* " Cheriton inquired.

" Sir Wotherspoon Ogle does not think at all well
of her.''

" Naturally."

" The mind is so active," said Miss Burden.

" You mean her tongue? "

" Yes, that is active too," said Miss Burden, rather
dolefully.

" It is rather late in the day for her to learn to

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258 ARAMINTA

bridle it. But if she won't, so much the worse for
her."

^^ Sir Wotherspoon finds her a rather trying
patient, I am afraid."

" If he does not," said Cheriton, ** he is either less
than human or he is more."

Cheriton afforded Miss Burden and Miss Perry the
privilege of his society at luncheon. He proposed
that they should spend the afternoon at the sale of
work in aid of Saint Agatha's, Balham. Miss Perry
was charmed with the idea. Miss Burden shared her
delight, yet doubted sorely whether her services could
be dispensed with. However, with the exercise of a
little diplomacy, she learned that they could, as not
only was the Duke of Brancaster returning at four
o'clock, but her ladyship's lawyer also.

" Her lawyer ! " exclaimed Cheriton. " What the
dooce does she want with him? "

My lord seemed not a little perturbed by the com-
ing of that ominous personage.

^^ I wonder if that old woman is capable of playing
me a trick? " he mused.

His speculations upon this subject were many on
his way to the sale of work at Balham. Considered
in conjunction with the assiduity of George Better-
ton, the coming of the lawyer was imquestionably a
sinister omen.

At the sale of work, however, Cheriton presented
no sign of either mental or moral perturbation. The
lavender trousers had been exchanged for an art
shade of gray. The tie-pin had a pearl in it instead

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sN^

MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED 269

of a turquoise; the waistcoat, Instead of presenting
a baffling and complex harmony in lilac, was of plain
white pique ; and, in lieu of a gold-headed cane, he
carried the famous ivory-handled umbrella, which
had been repaired with such exemplary skill that it
betrayed no token of the recent catastrophe at Saint
Sepulchre's.

All that was best in the life of Balham and its
environs was gathered at the sale of work in aid of
Saint Agatha's. First and foremost was the Rector,
the Reverend John Overdene Cummings, a man whom
all the world delighted to honor, not for his calling
only, but also for himself. His weaknesses were so
few that they really do not call for mention. And
among his numerous merits, perhaps that which en-
deared him most to all that was best in the life of
Balham, was his almost exaggerated esteem for what
he called " the right people." It was known by the
well-informed that in the first instance it was due en-
tirely to the Reverend John Overdene Cummings that
the Miss Champneys had prevailed upon their friend
Lady Charlotte Greg, to perform the opening cere-
mony.

Lady Charlotte Greg had just had great pleasure
in declaring the sale of work open, when sometTiing
in the nature of a sensation was caused by the arrival
of the wonderful Miss Perry and her attendant min-
isters. The Assembly Rooms had been transformed
into a Sicilian village. They were thronged with the
youth, beauty, and fashion of the district, and also
with the gay and brilliant costumes of the peasantry

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860 ARAMINTA

of the sunny south. But there was nothing in that
brilliant gathering to compare with the blue-eyed
and yellow-haired yoimg Amazon, hatted and gowned
a la Gainsborough. Miss Burden felt there was not ;
and she, in her modest gown with lilac trimming, was
not without her merit, for she too was tall, distin-
guished of feature, and her figure was excellent. As
for Cheriton, with his glass stuck with a rather
humorous insolence in his left eye,. he knew there was
nothing, not in Balham only, but in the whole of Lon-
don, that season to compare with Caroline Crew-
kerne's niece. He was a proud man, and he Ipoked
it as, with pardonable ostentation, he cleared a pas-
sage for his escort down the precise center of the
throng.

Jim's mother was thrilled by the apparition of the
wonderful Miss Perry. She was there to preside over
the refreshment stall. It was small blame to Jim
that he had given up his days and nights to dreams
of such magnificence. And Jim himself, who had ac-
companied his mother to the sale of work, more, it is
to be feared, in the hope of seeing the ** incredible "
hat in public, than for any deep interest in the wel-
fare of Saint Agatha's, was possessed by a strange
excitement as he gazed.

" What an air the creature has ! " his mother
whispered to him. " I never saw anything so regal.
She moves like a queen among her subjects. And
yet the Goose, under her feathers, hasn't the ghost
of an idea about anything in earth or heaven or in
Slocum Magna."

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MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED 261

** You forget Joseph Wright of Derby, my dear,"

" The ridiculous creature ! " laughed Jim's mother.

In the meantime the progress down the center of
the Sicilian village was almost royal. The throng
yielded on all sides. A wave of respect, amounting
almost to awe, seemed to arise and pervade every-
thing. Indeed, royalty was mentioned. For exam-
ple, the Rector, with his quick eye and his sure in-
stinct, was aroused immediately.

" Dear me," he said to Miss Laetitia Champneys
in exultant tones, " I really believe it must be the
Grand Duchess Olga Romanoff."

It appeared that, according to well-informed
journals, a tall and splendid person answering to
that name and description was then in London, who
was engaged continuously in charitable endeavors.

** Oh no, Mr. Rector," said Miss Laetitia,
promptly ; " they are friends of ours."

A kind of dai's had been erected at the end of the
Sicilian village for the accommodation of the friends
of the Rector and other grandees. The distinguished
visitors, although they had never seen the Rector be-
fore and had no locus standi whatever as far as Saint
Agatha's was concerned, took a bee-line to the dais,
under the direction of Lord Cheriton. But the fact
is well known that a peer of the realm feels it his
duty to make straight for a platform whenever and
wherever he sees one.

The Miss Champneys, whose manner in public was
even more impressive than it was in private, shook
hands with Lord Cheriton in most stately fashion.

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262 ARAMINTA

Lady Charlotte's greeting was thought by close
observers to be perhaps less elaborate in style,
but that she shook hands at a more fashionable
angle.

" latroduce me," said the Rector to Miss Laetitia.

Cheriton prided himself upon being all things to
all men. His manner with the Church was agreeably
distinct from what it was with Art or Letters, or
Law, or the Army, or Sport, or Politics.

" Congratulate you, Mr. Rector, on the success of
your bazaar," he said sonorously. " Admirable hall
for the purpose. To my mind nothing is more pictur-
esque than a Sicilian village. The costumes are so
rich."

The Rector of Saint Agatha's, one of those solemn
men who don't smile easily, was seen to beam in a
gratified manner.

Miss Perry enjoyed herself immensely. The first
thing she did was to greet Jim's mother with effusion,
and also Jim. The latter, who was assiduously culti-
vating the commercial instinct, informed his mother
that she was sure of one important customer.

" What awfully nice cakes you have ! " said Miss
Perry.

She had a small pink one to inaugurate the re-
freshment stall. Promising to return anon, she then
made a tour of the Sicilian village. In the fancy
bazaar, presided over by Mrs. and the Misses Hob-
son, she made her second purchase.

'* Those bed-socks are too sweet," said Miss Perry.
^ I should like to buy them for dearest papa, because

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MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED 268

his feet are always so cold in the winter. How much
are they? "

" One guinea," said Miss Hermia Hobson.

" You can get them cheaper than that at Slocum
Magna/' said Miss Perry.

" Everything at this stall is one guinea," said Miss
Hermia Hobson, " except the antimacassars, and they
are five, because they were out in India during the
Mutiny."

" Were they indeed ! " said Cheriton, taking up a
very fragile and faded article ; " during the Mutiny.
That is most interesting."

" Don't touch them, please," said Miss Hermia
Hobson. " They might easily come to pieces."

" I think dearest papa would rather have the bed-
socks," said Miss Perry. " They are too sweet."

Cheriton gallantly disbursed the sum of one guinea.

Miss Perry's tour of the Sicilian village resulted
in the acquisition of a rag-basket of a new and orig-
inal pattern, which it appeared that Muffin had al-
ways wanted ; a pocket-knife for Dickie ; a fountain-
pen for Charley ; an album for Milly ; a piece of lace
for Polly ; and a box of soldiers for the small son of
Mrs. Crick who kept the post-office at Slocum Magna.
A copy of " Persuasion " was purchased for Miss
Burden, by the advice of Lord Cheriton ; and a copy
of " Law's Serious Call " for Aunt Caroline, also by
the advice of that nobleman. He himself was con-
tent with an orchid, which was fixed in his button-
hole by Miss Laetitia Champneys, Miss Burden hold-
ing the pin. Miss Perry had great difficulty in recon-

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264 ARAMINTA

ciKng the respective claims of a rabbit, that was able
to roll its eyes and move its ears, and a box of
sweetmeats. Eventually she decided in favor of the
latter. All the same, she felt that the former would
undoubtedly have appealed to Tobias. But it might
have a tendency to make him bloodthirsty.

Afternoon tea at Mrs. Lascelles' stall, to the strains
of Chicane's Orchestral Cossacks, who had been spe-
cially engaged to appear in Sicily, was a delightful
function. The Rector, the Rectoress, the Miss
Champneys, and Lady Charlotte Greg all came to-
gether to the refreshment stall to partake of this
stimulating and delightful beverage. The verger of
Saint Agatha's railed off a special table with a cord
to keep the crowd from encroaching. It seemed that
the Rector's theory of the Grand Duchess had been
overheard, and had immediately become rife with the
general public. By now it had taken such a hold
that Her Yellow-haired Magnificence in the Gains-
borough hat was said to be the niece of the Czar.

Cheriton had a pleasing sense of uncertainty as to
whether the curiosity of the public was due to the im-
perious challenge of female beauty, or to the appear-
ance and attainments of the fourth earl of that
name. Being a very vain man, he was not disinclined
to believe that it was the latter ; therefore he sat in
the enclosure sipping his tea with a superb air, and
preening his plumage like a venerable cockatoo.

" He wears a wig ! " a member of the public could
be heard to say quite distinctly.

" Oh yes," said a second member, with an air of

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MISS PERRY HAS HER PALM CROSSED 266

information. " The Romanoffs are always short of
hair. The late Czar was as bald as an egg/'

After doing frank and impartial justice to the tea
and confectionery, Miss Perry made her way to the
Gypsy's Tent to have her palm crossed with silver.

" I see a tall dark man," said the gypsy.

" Yes,'* said Cheriton, " there is no doubt about
him. But what about a short bald fellow, with a tend-
ency to apoplexy and a face as red as a turkey's ? '*

" I don't see him at present," said the gypsy.

" Are you sure.? " said Cheriton.

" I see a tall fair man who is young and hand-
some," said the gypsy. Jim Lascelles had just en-
tered the tent with Miss Burden. " And I see a tall
dark woman, and, yes, a short fair man, who is rich
and rather stout, begins to emerge. He is old, and
he appears to have been twice married "

" Isn't it wonderful? " said Miss Burden, in a voice
of awe.

" Awful rot ! " said Jim Lascelles.

" Don't forget the tall dark fellow," said Cheriton.

" Yes — ^no — yes," said the gypsy ; " and the tall
dark man, and the tall fair man, and the short stout
man — really, I don't remember reading a hand so
complex as this."

" It was a tall fair man at Widdif ord," said Miss
Perry.

The gypsy discarded the hand of Miss Perry with
a gesture of petulance.

" That has spoiled everything," said she.

" We were married at Widdif ord," said Miss

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266 ARAMINTA

Perry, " and we lived happily ever afterwards, and
we only paid a shilling."

" I am afraid shilling fortunes are always untrust-
worthy," said Cheriton. " But I should like a little
more information about that red-faced, apoplectic
fellow."

** They might very easily marry," said the gypsy,
in a sinister manner.

" Awful rot ! " muttered Jim.

Cheriton appeared to think that the gypsy was
confusing the short fellow with the tall dark one.

The hand of Miss Burden was found to be less
complex. In her future there was only one man, and
he was tall and dark.

" I think it is wonderful," said Miss Burden, with
a charming vibration in her voice.

The exigencies of the case rendered an early re-
turn to Hill Street necessary. Hurlingham was al-
ready forbidden for the remainder of the season. It
would not do, declared Cheriton, for Ranelagh to be
prohibited as well. Otherwise they would be com-
pelled to restrict themselves to Burlington House, to
Lord's, and the Circus.

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CHAPTER XXI

HIGH DIPIiOMACY

OLD Lady Crewkerne's interview with her legal
adviser did her no harm. Indeed she seemed
to sleep the more soundly for it. All the same her
condition continued to demand much skill and atten-
tion upon the part of Sir Wotherspoon Ogle. How-
ever, the diligence of that eminent physician did not
go without its reward. Whatever might be the actual
condition of the patient's throat, the vocal cords
seemed to grow decidedly stronger, in spite of the fact
that she was rigidly forbidden to use them.

" On no account, Lady Crewkeme," said Sir
Wotherspoon Ogle, very gravely indeed, " and upon
no consideration must you have recourse to your
voice."

" Do you suppose I am fool enough to say noth-
ing? " said the old woman, like a hoarse old raven.
" If I did, you would soon have the lid on my coffin."

Sir Wotherspoon Ogle was shocked.

Cheriton made three applications for admission to
the presence, yet met with refusal on each occasion.
On the other hand, his rival, George Betterton, con-
tinued in high favor. However, on the occasion of
the fourth attempt, a Sunday morning, he obtained

the entrSe.

267

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868 ARAMINTA

The occupant of the four-poster, supported by
pillows, and embellished by the head-dress and the
famous Indian shawl, looked, in the opinion of her
visitor, quite her old self. The eyes glittered as
fiercely and as shrewdly as of yore ; the curve of the
nose was just as grim and hawklike as ever; while
as for the resolute jaw and the thin-lipped, tightly
drawn mouth, enough hard sarcasm and unflinching
force of character lurked about it to quell the vast
majority of human kind.

Cheriton was a fop and fribble, as all the world
knew. Nevertheless, he belonged to that honorable
company that is not abashed easily. He greeted the
formidable occupant of the four-poster with a robust-
ness of demeanor that served him well. Had he bated
so much as an eyelid, or betrayed the least disposi-
tion to flinch, he would have received very short shrift
this morning. For whatever might be Sir Wother-
spoon Ogle's opinion in regard to that complex mech-
anism that was buttoned into the linen band of the
old lady's nightgown, there can be no doubt that,
considered as a whole, the aged frame had gained
alarmingly in bodily vigor by a week's detention with-
in the precincts of the four-poster.

"How are youy Caroline?" said Cheriton, with
musical expansiveness.

" Worth a good many dead ones at present," said
the old lady, with no more music than a raven.

" So I perceive," said her visitor, with a little sigh.

Upon the coimterpane lay " Law's Serious Call."
Cheriton took it up and ran his fingers thoughtfully

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 269

through the leaves. On the flyleaf in extremely large
and decidedly juvenile characters was the inscription,
** To dearest Aunt Caroline, with Fondest Love from
her Affectionate Niece, Araminta.'*

" Caroline," said her visitor, " you are an extremely
fortunate woman to have a niece who takes such a
practical interest in your spiritual well-being, par-
ticularly at a time when the state of your health tends
to make the future increasingly speculative.'*

The occupant of the four-poster poised her chin
in a manner that can only be described as the incarna-
tion of truculence. The fierce eyes flashed from under
their bushy canopy with all the ruthlessness of their
prime. She said nothing, however. Her silence ren-
dered her the more formidable.

" In my humble judgment," said Cheriton, choos-
ing his words delicately, " your affectionate niece has
a charmingly frank, and at the same time a deeply
spiritual nature."

" Humph! " said Miss Perry's aunt. " The crea-
ture has as much spirituality as that bedpost."

" How can you be so obtuse, Caroline? " said Cher-
iton, achieving a very respectable note of pathos.
" There is a vein of poetic ideality in her that makes
one think of Saint Catherine of Siena."

" A vein of poetic fiddlestick ! " said the old lady.
" She has as much ideality as Ponto has. The only
thing that interests either of them is their meals. In
fact, I should say that Ponto has the better soul of
the two. I sometimes suspect Ponto of being an
esoteric Buddhist in a reincarnation."

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270 ARAMINTA

" Do you indeed ! " said Cheriton. " Well, when
Ponto presents his benefactress with a copy of
* AmiePs Journal ' I shall be only too happy to think
you have grounds for your suspicion."

Cheriton continued to run his fingers fondly
through the pages of " Law's Serious Call."

" To my thinking," said he, " it was a singularly
frank yet spiritually-minded nature that conceived
the idea of presenting her aunt with a work of this
character."

" The creature is as spiritually-minded as a
dog ferret," croaked the occupant of the four-
poster.

" A vigorous figure," said Cheriton, " yet not very
happily applied. But I don't wonder, Caroline, that
you are a little topsy-turvy, and that your standard
of things in general has gone awry."

"Why don't you?"

Cheriton permitted himself a highly dramatic ges-
ture. " That man," he said tragically.

" To whom do you refer? "

" I refer," said Cheriton, " to the most dangerous
man in London. The turkey-faced rufiian! He
would undermine the moral code of Augustine
himself.'*

" Happily," said the occupant of the four-poster,
" I am not Augustine. As far as (Jeorge is con-
cerned, I stand where I was. Yet, mark one thing,
Cheriton — mark one thing fully" — ^the quiescent Uon-
ess paused to unfurl as it were the ominous jowl from
the band of her nightgown — the figure is not a

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 271

pretty one to describe a peeress of mature years, but
it seems to be the only one that can in anywise do
justice to the slowly kindling flame of sarcasm that
was revealing itself in the thin lips and the fierce
eyes — " I have a greater respect for Greorge at this
moment than I have ever had before."

" Have you, Caroline? " said her old friend, medi-
tatively.

He was a cool hand, but he was a little uneasy.
The occupant of the four-poster marked down the
suspicion of disquietude, whereas a less virile ob-
server would not have noticed it at all.

" Yes, Cheriton,'* said the raven's voice. " What-
ever George may be or whatever he may not be, in my
opinion he is a practical man."

" Practical enough, I grant you, where his pas-
sions are concerned."

" In my judgment," said the occupant of the four-
poster, " it is precisely where his passions are con-
cerned that a man ought to be practical."

Cheriton agreed with reluctance.

" But there are people," said he, with an air of re-
finement, " to whom the practical pursuit of passion
must always seem a repulsive undertaking."

" There are many humbugs in the world," said
Caroline Crewkerne. " Personally I agree with
George that passion ought to be placed upon a busi-
ness basis."

Cheriton threw up his hands with a gesture of well
simulated horror.

" No, Caroline," said he ; " you have no soul. And

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272 ARAMINTA

yet Ogle tells me that during the past week you
have been literally walking in the Valley of the
Shadow."

" Ogle is a liar," said the occupant of the four-
poster. " He is thinking of his fee."

" For shame, Caroline," said Cheriton. " Out upon
you and your sentiments. And you who have been
so near the Abyss ! "

The occupant of the four-poster gave the great
head-dress a tilt. The gaze that was directed from
under the bushy eyebrows was that of a sibyl.

" Cheriton," she said, " some two months ago I gave
you advice in regard to your appearance. I have
observed with pleasure that you have had the good
. sense to follow it."

It was not quite clear, to judge by Cheriton's de-
meanor, whether he felt that this was a legitimate
cause for gratification.

" I am glad, Caroline, you find the result agree-
able," said he.

" My advice was given for a particular reason,
you will remember."

" Yes, Caroline, it was."

Cheriton began to speculate as to which card his
old friend was going to play.

" Do you feel that you can congratulate your-
self.? "

" Upon what, Caroline.?^ " said her old friend,
blandly.

" You don't need to be told," said Caroline, magis-
terially. " All London is looking at you."

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 278

" Is it? " said Cheriton, with superb innocence.
** And pray, what does it see? "

" It sees, as I do, that your behavior is of doubt-
ful propriety."

"Does it indeed!"

"I have reason to believe that is Greorge's
opinion."

" Greorge ! " exclaimed Cheriton, with impassioned
dignity. " George's opinion ! I'll thank George to
refrain from expressing an opinion about me or about
my affairs."

" George is a man of the world, at any rate. I
should call George a practical man."

" Greorge is a presumptuous fellow," said Cheriton,
with heat. " I should recommend him to refrain from
meddling with my personal affairs. Let him attend
to his own."

" George is quite competent to do that," said
Caroline, with a suavity that her old friend felt to be
decidedly dangerous. "In fact, I may say that
George has already placed his affairs upon a business
basis."

" What do you mean, Caroline? "

" It is not a question of what I mean," said the
cryptical Caroline. " The question is, what do you
mean, Cheriton?"

Cheriton allowed "Law's Serious Call" to fall
upon the counterpane.

" I wish you wouldn't indulge in riddles," said he.

" There is no mystery," said Caroline. " I am go-
ing to say one thing to you quite plainly."

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274 ARAMINTA

" You have always been inclined to err on the side
of plainness, Caroline, in my opinion."

" Greorge thinks, and I think with him, that the
time is ripe for you to make a declaration of your
intentions."

" My intentions ! "

" Your intentions, Cheriton, in regard to my niece
Miss Perry. As she has been intrusted to my care I
feel that I have a right to make this demand."

During the pause which ensued the occupant of
the four-poster adjusted her head-dress in much the
same manner that a Lord Chief Justice might be ex-
pected to adjust his wig. Cheriton on his part as-
sumed a port of dignified composure.

" I have no need to assure you, Caroline," said he,
impressively, " that my intentions, as far as your
niece Miss Perry is concerned, are honorable — in the
highest degree."

" I am pleased to have your assurance, Cheriton,
that that is so," said Caroline, coolly. " George ap-
peared to take a rather pessimistic view of them."

** I will thank you, Caroline, not to quote that man
to me."

" I have a greater respect for George than I have
ever had before. That is why I quote him. He has
recently shown himself in the light of an uncom-
monly astute fellow."

" Bah ! " said Cheriton. " I have never disguised
from myself that Greorge would have been more suc-
cessful as the proprietor of a bucket-shop than as an
English gentleman."

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 276

** George is a practical man, and in my judgment,
Cheriton, that is where he has the advantage of
you. For in my judgment you have never been
that."

" Thank you, Caroline. That is an advantage I
am only too glad to concede to anybody."

" If you will take my advice, Cheriton, you won't
be too ready to concede it. There is one question I
intend to put to you." The occupant of the four-
poster leant forward a little from imder her canopy
with an aspect of the most resolute sarcasm that ever
adorned the human countenance. " Do you intend to
marry the girl? "

The question was fired point-blank in all its ruth-
less directness. Cheriton had long cherished the opin-
ion that the venerable occupant of the four-poster
was the most consummate vulgarian of her time. In
this he was doubtless correct, for the frank contempt
which she cherished for anything " finicking " was
apt to lead her into extreme courses. But even he,
with all his cynicism, was not prepared for anything
quite so straight from the shoulder. Therefore he
gave ground a little. He was inclined to hum and
haw.

" I am afraid, my dear Caroline," he said, " the
answer to that question must remain entirely my
affair."

" Answer me, Cheriton," said Caroline Crewkerne,
her wrinkled old lips curling with sarcasm. " Do
you intend to marry my niece? "

Cheriton abated his glance. He took the glass from

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276 ARAMINTA

his eye and examined it critically. He shifted his
feet a little. He then replaced the glass carefully
and stuck his hands under his frock coat.

"Yes, Caroline, I do,'' he said, with admirable
composure.

" Very good, Cheriton," said the occupant of the
four-poster, with ominous pleasantness. " I feel it to
be my duty to inform you that George does also."

The blow was planted with all the skill of which
the occupant of the four-poster was capable. Cher-
iton, however, had had time to foresee it. Therefore,
although unable to evade the force of it, he received
it staunchly.

" But that is impossible, Caroline," he said, with
a superb assumption of indifference.

" Why impossible? " said the occupant of the four-
poster, with the amiability of one who holds the whole
game in her hand.

" The most ill-assorted pair in England," said
Cheriton, gravely. " The incongruity of their tastes,
the dissimilarity of their appearance, their disparity
in years."

" Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton."

" It is far from coxcombry, I assure you, Caro-
line," said Cheriton, plaintively. " A ravishing crea-
ture like that to marry a mere simulacrum like
Greorge. I shudder. The idea is horrible. It revolts
me."

" Don't behave like a coxcomb, Cheriton. G-eorge
is quite as eligible as you are. In my estimation he
is the more eligible of the two."

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 277

" Upon my word, Caroline."

" Socially, of course, George is the more impor-
tant."

" I take leave to doubt it."

*^ Do be practical, Cheriton."

" In my humble judgment, Caroline, a first-rate
earl is of more account than a second-rate duke."

"A matter of opinion, Cheriton," said the occu-
pant of the four-poster, " in more senses than one.
Then, again, I am glad to be able to state that
George has already put the matter upon a business
basis."

" Revolting."

" Coxcombry."

" What do you mean precisely by a business
basis? "

" I am happy to be able to state that George has
made a definite offer."

" To the girl? "

" Certainly not, Cheriton. Have you no sense of
decency? And I may say that as far as it goes the
offer is a tolerably good one."

" Marriage? You are quite sure that George
means marriage? "

" Yes, Cheriton, he means marriage," said the oc-
cupant of the four-poster, with her " hanging-
judge " demeanor.

" I can only say," said Cheriton, " that such con-
duct is very unlike him. I yield to none, Caroline, in
whole-hearted admiration of your niece. Miss Perry,
considered aesthetically and as a work of nature, but

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278 ARAMINTA

you must not forget that she has not a sou, and she
is of no particular family."

The occupant of the four-poster breathed blood
and fire.

" She is a Wargrave," said she.

" On the distaff side."

" It is more than good enough for either of you."

" Matter of opinion, Caroline, matter of opinion,"
said Cheriton, musically.

" Your patent dates from a land- jobbing lawyer
in the days of George the Second," said the occupant
of the four-poster, whose head-dress was performing
surprising feats. " As for the Bettertons — ^who,
pray, are the Bettertons? "

" A truce to family pride," said Cheriton, mellif-
luously. ^^ Let us get on with the business. I should
be glad to know precisely what that sordid-minded
ruffian has offered."

" A settlement is, of course, a sine qua non**

" I fail to imderstand why it should be, seeing that
the girl herself has not a penny."

" There are always two points of view, Cheriton.
And in my judgment the creature's destitute condi-
tion renders a settlement the more imperative."

" But one may suppose you are prepared to do
something, Caroline ! " said Cheriton, with a severely
businesslike air that was not quite in harmony with
his former altruistic bearing. " You are dooced rich,
you know; you have not a soul to leave your money
to ; and you can't take it with you."

" As far as aspirants to my niece's hand are con-

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HIGH DIPLOMACY 279

cemed," said Caroline Crewkeme, " my Intentions in
regard to her do not enter into the case. It is their
intentions that are important. George has made a
bona-fide offer. Do you propose to better it? "

" What is George's offer? "

" George is prepared," said Caroline Crewkeme,
who, in spite of her " laryngitis," spoke with wonder-
ful clearness, " to make an ante-nuptial settlement
upon my niece. Miss Perry, of five thousand a year
and the dower house at Godalming."

Cheriton appeared to yield a little.

" Have you that in writing, Caroline? " said he.

** I have. It is in the hands of my lawyer."

** If I may, I should like very much to see it."

" You will see nothing, Cheriton. The question, as
far as it affects you, is, are you prepared to better
George's offer? "

" It is so unlike Greorge," said the incredulous
Cheriton, " that one can hardly bring one's self to
believe that he made it. He has treated none of his
other women in that way."

" Doubtless they had nobody who knew how to
handle him," said the occupant of the four-poster,
with a chuckle of grim satisfaction.

" Yes, Caroline, you have a good head," sighed my
lord. " A dooced good head."

" Are you prepared, Cheriton, to better George's
offer? "

" It wants thinking over," said that idealist,
thoughtfully.

The old woman's upper lip took its famous and

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280 ARAMINTA

terrible double curl, while her head-dress seemed to
erect itself into a veritable panoply of grim derision.

" Yes, Cheriton," said she, " think it over. I will
give you a week."

« Say a fortnight."

" A week. A fortnight would not be fair to
George."

Mr. Marchbanks entered on tip-toe.

" Sir Wotherspoon Ogle, my lady."

The negotiations were curtailed by the entrance of
the eminent physician.

" How pleasant it is to see you looking so much
improved," said Sir Wotherspoon. " Complete rest
of mind and body have done wonders for you."

" Humph ! " said the occupant of the four-poster,
ungraciously.

" * Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands
to do/ " Cheriton reflected as he took his leave.

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CHAPTER XXII

A CONVERSATION AT WAKD's

CHERITON was a good deal perturbed. He
felt that the conduct of Caroline Crewkeme
bore a perilous resemblance to the pointing at one of
a loaded pistol. He had a constitutional objection
to doing things under compulsion or in a hurry. He
would greatly have preferred that his sentiments in
regard to Miss Perry should have been permitted to
ripen at their leisure. Let nature take her course.
Why force the fine flower of altruism, or encumber
it with the coarser growths which sprang from a
sordid and grasping materialism?

His admiration for Miss Perry was immense.
That, however, he shared with many people. Her
success had been a feature of the season. Cheriton
was in no sense a modest man, and he could not help
feeling that much of it was due to his brilliantly ef-
fective stage management. Certainly his zeal for
Miss Perry's advancement had been largely inspired
by vanity. From the first he had taken her under
his wing; and a great deal of the world's applause
had been addressed to him personally on the strength
of his " discovery."

He was somewhat advanced in years, certainly, to
think of marriage. But he had always felt that

281

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282 ARAMINTA

i
sooner or later he would inevitably take that course.

He was urged thereto by a number of considerations.
And now that the time had come when it was neces-
sary that he should know his own mind, he really
felt that he had a very genuine regard for Miss
Perry.

The mere act of walking down Bond Street with
her attracted an amount of notice that he was not
accustomed to claim in his own person. Nevertheless,
he liked it immensely. And even if commanding
beauty and an unique personality did not suffice in
themselves, the fact that a powerful rival was in the
field was enough to stimulate his altruism in the
highest degree.

He was fully determined not to be cut out by a
man like Greorge Betterton. That was the decision
which braced his faculties as he sauntered down to his
club to read the newspapers. From the first he had
had a lurking suspicion that George meant business ;
but unless Caroline played him false, and his cause
was already forsworn, he felt that he would prove
more than a match for that by no means agile man of
affairs.

Could he count upon Caroline Crewkeme? It was
a thorny question for the altruist to present to him-
self. So intimately was he acquainted with the in-
stinctive mental processes of that difficult old woman
that he was quite sure he could not count upon her
unless he could advance some very definite reason for
her good-will. If he wanted Miss Perry, one thing
was clear. He must prove himself the superior parti.

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A CONVERSATION AT WARD'S 283

On the surface, Cherlton was as vain a man as any
to be found in London. But his coxcombry was a
superficial growth, assiduously cultivated, to hide the
imcommonly shrewd and cool calculator who lurked
beneath. Not everybody knew that, but Caroline
Crewkeme did. Her dictum of " Cheriton is no fool "
was her way of expressing that he was really very
much the contrary. And in her heart she respected
him accordingly. No one despised a fool more
heartily than she did. As far as she could, she dealt
exclusively with people who knew how many beans
made five. There was a certain amount of honor to
be gained in overreaching them.

" George is a dooced dangerous fellow," mused
the altruist, on the way to his club. " He is a big-
wig in his second-rate sort of way, with his Garter
and his money. He is the sort of fellow to demoralize
a woman. And if he wants a penniless parson's
daughter he can afford to marry her. Unless that
old heathen is lying — and she is capable of anything
— ^I shall have to keep my eye on the target. As long
as there is good manhood left in the country, that
ruffian shall not marry our adorable Goose."

As he formulated this ultimatum the preux che-
valier turned the corner of Saint James's Street.
Seated in the bow window of Ward's was the object
of these reflections. He was reading Horse and
Hound. From a distance Cheriton marked him with
the air of a satyr.

" There he is," he muttered cheerfully. " He's
got the head of a rocking-horse, thank Grod ! "

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284 ARAMINTA

Seen in profile, George's pouched, purple face, his
ungainly jowl, his loose cheeks, and his bald head,
without exactly meriting the strictures to which their
owner had been exposed, yet bore a kind of wooden
stupidity which gave grounds for the portrait. .

Cheriton, having observed that none of his fellow-
members were within earshot, advanced to the recess
with an air of bonhomie that was totally lost upon
George, who was not in the least susceptible to casual
external influences.

" How are you, George? " he said heartily.

" Pooty well for an old 'un," said Greorge, with
the rough geniality he extended to everybody.

" I hope you are quite free of the old trouble? "
said Cheriton, solicitously.

" Free as I ever shall be," said George.

" As I haven't seen you about lately I was begin-
ning to fear that you were laid up again.*'

" No," said George ; and then, like the consum-
mate blunderer he was, he fell into the trap. " Why,
he said, " didn't I see you at Hill Street yester-
day? "

" Hill Street ! " said Cheriton, with an air of com-
plete innocence. " You might have seen me, but I
didn't see you."

" You were there, anyhow," said George, " and so
was I."

"Were you?" said his friend. "Then why the
dooce didn't I see you? "

" I remember now," said George. " I called round
to see Caroline Crewkeme, and you called too, but she

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A CONVERSATION AT WARD'S 285

thought you had better not come up, as the two of us
might prove too much for her."

** She erred on the side of caution, my dear fellow.
Two and twenty like you and me would not prove too
much for that old woman."

" No, I dare say," said George, with a grunt of
approbation. " How is she this morning.? "

" Gretting stronger by degrees. In my opinion, if
that old woman is kept in bed much longer she will
wreck the premises."

" Remarkably vigorous mind for a woman of her
age."

" Her mind, in my humble judgment, is much too
vigorous for one of her years," said Cheriton, with
the air of one who imparts a profound truth to an in-
tellectual equal. " In my opinion, Caroline Crew-
kerne is a rather embarrassing phenomenon. She has
the education of a Whig, and the instincts of a
Jesuit."

" I dare say," grunted George, who felt that Cher-
iton, as usual, was becoming tedious. He showed a
marked inclination to resume the study of the prices
made at TattersalPs the week before last. Cheriton's
next remark, however, did something to recapture his
interest.

" You remember that gal of hers, that niece? " said
Cheriton, speaking in a rather aggrieved tone.

" Ye-es," said George, heavily, but with attention.
" Gal with the ginger hair."

" Well, now, George," said his old friend, impres-
sively, " I am going to tell you something."

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286 ARAMINTA

Cheriton looked round the room to make quite
sure that none of his fellow-members were within
hearing.

" When that gal came to London a few weeks ago,"
said he, " she arrived at Hill Street in a turn-out that
any self-respecting butter-woman would disdain to go
to market in. She was the most untutored child of
nature that I ever saw in the house of a Christian."

George nodded to show that he was following the
course of his friend's narrative.

" Well, Caroline was furious. You know, I dare
say, the circumstances in which the gal came to Hill
Street. Mind you, I don't disguise the fact that her
coming there at all was highly creditable to Caroline.
In the course of a forty years' acquaintance, it is the
only spontaneous act of charity in which I have
known her indulge. But when she saw the im-
tutored creature that had been sent to her from the
heart of Exmoor, she wanted to send her packing.
However, with infinite difficulty, I managed to dis-
suade her. Her people are as poor as mice, as, of
course, you know. Father a parson, who has to bring
up a long family on forty pound a year."

" Ye-es," said George, nodding.

" Knowing the gal's circumstances," his friend
continued, " I thought it would be only right to give
her a chance. But Caroline was all for sending her
home again. And then I made the discovery that the
rustic parson's daughter was by way of being a
throwback to her grandmother Dorset. Well, Greorge,
what do you think I did? "

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A CONVERSATION AT WARD'S 287

" No idea," said Gkorge.

" I got hold, my dear fellow, of Duprez, the Paris
milliner, and Pelissier, the woman from the bonnet
shop in Grafton Street, and between us we turned
out that gal a very tolerable imitation of Grand-
mother Dorset. And as I had a genuine interest in
the gal for her own sake, for she is a very nice
simple gal, I took her about to let her see something
of London, so that she might get a few ideas about
things in general."

" Ye-es," said George.

** You see, my dear fellow, what I said to Caroline
was this." Cheriton again looked about him to dis-
cover the proximity of his fellow-members, and as-
sumed a very confidential air. " ^ With a bit of luck,
and if you can play your cards as well as you used
to, that gal might marry. She hasn't a penny, of
course, and she is of no particular family, but she is
not at all a bad style of gal when she has on a pretty
frock. In fact, Caroline,* I said, ' in my opinion
she is just the sort of gal to catch a brewer or a
stockholder or one of these new men with money.' "

" Ye-es," said George.

** And now, my dear fellow," said his friend, more
confidentially than ever, " what do you think that old
Jesuit does? I put it to you, George."

** No idea," said Greorge.

" Finding the gal has not gone off as she ought,
she turns round on me."

" You ! " said George, with stolid surprise.

" Yes, my dear fellow, turns round on me, and has

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288 ARAMINTA

the effrontery to expect me — me, George — to marry
her.''

George gave a chuckle.

" What do you say to that, my dear fellow.'* Cool,
eh? "

George turned over a page of Horse and Hound
with a preternatural appearance of gravity. Ap-
parently he was not at all conscious that Cheriton
was scrutinizing him narrowly.

" What do you say to it? "

" Well," said George, slowly and heavily, " I
should say you were asking for it."

It must be confessed that Cheriton was baffled.
For, both in the manner and in the matter of the
rejoinder, no portion of George's feelings was
visible.

" Asking for it ! " said Cheriton, with virtuous in-
dignation. " Upon my word, George, I expected bet-
ter things of you ! To say the least, it is a poor en-
couragement to a good heart."

" Well, you know, Cheriton," said George, with a
genial grunt and addressing himself to Horse and
Hound in earnest, " you might do worse. Ginger-
haired gal is not bad-lookin' ! "

There was nothing more to be got out of George.
Not only did Tattersall's sale list prove of absorbing
interest, but fellow-members began to encroach upon
the privacy of the bow window. Among these was
the bullet-headed marquis from Yorkshire.

"Give you a good sermon, Kendal?" said Cheri-
ton, nodding affably.

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A CONVERSATION AT WARD'S 289

" No," said the marquis, slowly and with decision.
" Too much up in the air for my taste."

" Up in the air ! " said Cheriton. " I am surprised
to hear you say that. I thought every parson in
Europe had abandoned the up-in-the-air theory.
They say the kingdom of heaven is within you these
days, don't they? "

" Yes," said the marquis, gravely, " and in my
opinion and in the opinion of Maria they are making
a great error."

" Indigestion probably," said Cheriton, with a lit-
tle shrug, and taking up the Figaro. " But if you
will have your cooks from Yorkshire ! "

" By the way," said Kendal, " I was told this
morning that Caroline Crewkerne was not expected
to recover."

" I am able to contradict that rumor," said Cher-
iton.

" Glad to hear it," said Kendal. " Caroline is one
of the old standards."

"A survivor of a darker age," said Cheriton.

" I see that little bay horse of yours made a hun-
dred and forty guineas," said George, from behind
Horse and Hound.

" Yes," said Kendal, " and was worth more."

** Why did you part with him? "

" He tried to bite Priscilla."

"Vice?"

" No, only playful."

" Talking of Priscilla," said Cheriton, " has that
young chap painted her yet?"

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290 ARAMINTA

" No,'* said Kendal. " Maria has a fancy for
Halpin."

Cheriton shook his head sagely.

" You are making a mistake," said he.

" Halpin is a good man, ain't he? "

" Halpin is Halpin, of course ; but this young fel-
low Lascelles is the coming man. He has done a
wonderful portrait of Caroline Crewkerne's niece.*'

The marquis laughed in the broad Yorkshire
manner.

" I suppose, Cheriton," said he, " we must con-
gratulate you."

Gkorge laid down Horse a/nd Hound. Cheriton,
who seemed far more preoccupied with George's be-
havior than with KendaPs question, favored the
former with a gesture of humorous despair.

" I believe," said he to Kendal, " that you regular
churchgoers go to church mainly to keep abreast of
the times."

" Well, there's no denying," said Kendal, with a
wink at George, " that we do not contrive to do that.'*

" Well, my dear fellow," said Cheriton, " there is
such a thing as you regular churchgoers getting a
little in front of the times."

" People seem to think she is the most beautiful
girl in England," said the marquis. " PrisciUa is
very jealous."

" If I were half as handsome as Priscilla," said
Cheriton, discreetly — ^for personal beauty was cer-
tainly not Priscilla's strong point — " I should not be
jealous of a poor parson's daughter."

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A CONVERSATION AT WARD'S 291

" Funny cattle, y'know," said Kendal, with an air
of wisdom. " You young bachelors have got that to
find out. What do you say, George? "

George, whose experience of the sex was extensive
and peculiar, gave a grunt of ponderous solemnity.

" Anyhow," said Cheriton, in the bounty of his
heart, " Lascelles is your man. Tell the wife I say
so."

When Cheriton came to reflect upon George's atti-
tude, that is, as far as his prescience could discern
it, he felt that the position of affairs called for less
decisive action than Caroline Crewkeme had in-
dicated. His interview with her that morning, how-
ever, had the effect of crystallizing his ideas. He
had now definitely made up his mind that George Bet-
terton should not marry Miss Perry.

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CHAPTER XXni

MUFFIN MAKES HEK APPEARANCE AT FEN-Y-6ROS
CASTLE

IT was now July, and in spite of Goodwood^ and
Lord's, and a constant succession of parties, Miss
Perry remained faithful in her allegiance to the
Acacias. Her attendance at the wooden structure
in the small Balham back garden was not absolutely
necessary, because the picture was in quite an ad-
vanced stage, but there can be no question that her
presence was a great aid to the artist. As a rule,
Lord Cheriton conceived it to be his duty to accom-
pany her on these pilgrimages. With that disinter-
ested benevolence, for which he was well known, he
feared lest the mazes of traffic in which the vast
metropolis abounded should overwhelm that ingenu-
ous but charming child of nature. And further, he
seemed to find Mrs. Lascelles a singularly agreeable
woman.

While the great things of art were toward across
the garden, Mrs. Lascelles and Lord Cheriton would
sit in the tiny drawing-room with the French window
open to the grass plot, and the fierceness of the ob-
trusive Balham sunshine mitigated by a sunblind,
striped green and red. Here in a couple of wicker-

292

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 898

work chairs with ingenious arrangements for the feet
they could recline, with half an eye upon the wooden
structure at the other side of the lawn, where the
wonderful Miss Perry was just visible in chiaroscuro
through the open door. They discoursed of the great
days when Gheriton was a younger son, and at the
Embassy at Paris, and used to wear a stripe down
the leg of his trousers.

The world was younger in those days, and giants
lived in it. That fellow Gautier, who used to swagger
at the play in a coat of plum-colored velvet and a
yellow dicky ; and the dandies, the poets, the painters,
the musicians, the men in politics and diplomacy, the
gay, careless, brilliant, cosmopolitan company that
thronged the French capital before the Fall — ^yes,
those were the days to live in and to remember ! But
where were they now? Where were the snows of the
year before last?

Let us drink of the cup, for we know not what the
morrow holds for us, was the burden of Cheriton's
reflections. He had seen the great hulking beslob-
bered Germans at Versailles in '71, and he had seen
the mutilated city after peace.

"War is so betCy** said he. ** And everything is
that makes us unhappy. I don't believe that any
fragrant thing ever sprang out of misery. All the
things we live for are wrought of happiness. I am
sure, Mrs. Lascelles, it gave you great pleasure to
write the first chapter of your novel.'*

Jim's mother smiled charmingly. She had been
prevailed upon to read her simple and unpretending

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294 ARAMINTA

narrative of life as she saw it, which could find no
publisher, because " there was not enough in it '* for
the public taste.

" We must respect the public," said Cheriton.
" And of course we must respect those who diagnose
its need. But what a joy it must have been to you
to compose your little prelude to, shall I say, the
works of Stendhal ! "

" Mon pauvre Arrigo Beyle ! '* said Jim*s mother,
with a little blush of pleasure that was really very
becoming.

There was a perceptible movement in the wooden
structure. A form, divinely tall and divinely fair,
appeared upon the grass plot. It was accompanied
by a stalwart, velvet-coated cavalier.

" A short interval for strawberries and cream,''
said Jim.

" Most rational, my dear Lascelles," said the lazily
musical voice of his patron from the depths of his
wicker chair, " and most proper. As I was observing
to your accomplished mother, the great things of art
require an atmosphere of natural and spontaneous
gladness in which to get themselves created. Straw-
berries and cream, by all means. Do not spare that
national delicacy if you wish to get a final and con-
summate glow upon your masterpiece."

The attention of Miss Perry was wholly diverted
by the rich display of the national delicacy in ques-
tion upon the tea-table.

" Aren't they beauties ? " said she, in thrilling
tones. " I am sure MuflSn has picked the largest in

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 296

the garden; and when I wrote to her, I specially
told her not to."

" Among the select but ever-widening circle of
persons," said Cheriton, " whom I desire to meet in
the Elysian Fields, my dear Miss Goose, is your sis-
ter, Muffin."

" She is too sweet," said Miss Perry. " Aren't they
beauties? I am sure you would like her so much."

After some liberal and copious refreshment — the
afternoon was indeed very hot — ^Miss Perry and Jim
Lascelles returned to the service of art. Jim's mother
was prevailed upon to open the little rosewood piano.
This time she played Brahms. Her touch, in the
opinion of her listener, was deliciously sensitive. She
promised to accompany him on the Friday following
to the Opera to hear Calve in La BoMme. They dis-
cussed the theaters, and waxed enthusiastic over the
artless witchery of Duse as Mirandola.

" And soon, my dear Mrs. Lascelles," said Cheri-
ton, with his paternal air, " I suppose you will be off
to the sea."

" Yes," said Jim's mother, hopefully, " if the little
study of the Tuscan woman in the field of olives finds
a purchaser."

" One feels sure it will," said Cheriton, with per-
haps a better grounded optimism.

Cheriton was justified of it, however. Jim Las-
celles contrived a few days later to sell that not spe-
cially significant little work for forty pounds. In
his own judgment, and in that of others, this sum
was every penny of what it was worth, It was so

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296 ARAMINTA

obviously a picture in which he was seeking to find
the right way in that carelessly happy era before
the right way had come to him so miraculously.

The sale of the Tuscan woman in the field of olives
was curiously providential coming when it did, for
Jim himself had abandoned all hope of the sea for
that year. Yet neither he nor his mother was
really surprised that a comer was found for her
in one of the lesser reception rooms at Cheriton
House.

" It is a great bargain," said Jim's mother.
" Really she is worth so much more."

" A modest fiver represents her merits," said Jim,
who was without illusions upon the subject.

Nevertheless Jim and his mother proposed to spend
a whole month in Normandy upon the proceeds of the
sale. Cheriton, who had inherited a certain quantity
of suppressed gout along with the ancestral acres,
made his annual pilgrimage to Harrogate to drink
the waters ; and the Hill Street menage was removed
to a dilapidated fortress in Wales. And it was to
this retreat, by a signal act of grace, of which few
would have suspected its authoress to be capable, that
Mufiin was summoned from Slocum Magna to spend
a fortnight with her sister, " who, all things con-
sidered, had been a good girl."

Miss Perry wept large round tears of delight when
she communicated this glad news to Tobias. That
stay of her solitude had, by the guilty connivance of
Miss Burden, been provided during the second week
of his sojourn in the vast metropolis with a more

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 297

hygienic and commodious structure than a wicker
basket.

Muffin arrived at Pen-y-Gros Castle on a sultry
August afternoon, in a somewhat antiquated fly which
took an hour to come from the railway station at a
place called Dwygyfy, or words to that effect. It
appeared that the train was due to arrive at that
center of civilization at seven o'clock the previous
evening, but for some mysterious reason did not ar-
rive there tmtil the next day. At least, according
to Muffin's thrilling narrative of her adventures upon
the Cambrian railway, she had found herself at a
quarter to eleven the previous night at a place called
Llan-something, where they have the mountains, with
only four shillings and ninepence in her chain purse,
together with a return ticket from Dwygyfy, and a
canary in a wicker cage, which she had brought from
Slocum Magna for Aunt Caroline.

However, " All's well that ends well," as Shake-
speare says. Muffin accepted the situation in the
philosophical spirit for which she had already
acquired a reputation. She curled herself upon three
chairs in the first-class waiting-room at the railway
station at Llan-something, with Polly's luggage bas-
ket for her pillow and the canary by her side, and she
awoke just in time to catch the train to Dwygyfy
about noon the next day.

Muffin's hair was not quite so yellow as her sister's.
Her eyes were not quite so blue ; her appetite was not
quite so big; her physique not quite so stupendous.
Nor was her drawl quite so ridiculous; she was not

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298 ARAMINTA

quite such a " silly *' ; but her nature was equally
docile and responsive. When Mu£Sn arrived in tri-
umph, wearing her wonderful adventures like a
heroine in a romance, Aunt Caroline was in her bou-
doir. In a former and more warlike epoch it had
been the armory, but it was now transformed by the
art of Waring and Maple, into a most comfortable
sanctuary where an old devote could tell her beads.
Not that the occupant of the boudoir was thus en-
gaged, when Miss Perry led her sister proudly by the
hand, canary and all, into the presence of her august
and formidable relation.

" Aunt Caroline, this is Muffin ! " announced that
Featherbrain, breathlessly. " Isn't she a sweet? "

Aunt Caroline put up her glass in her time-h<mored
manner. But there was something about Muffin that
disarmed her. Whether it was Muffin herself, or her
famous mauve, which, although in its third season,
and decidedly rumpled owing to long exposure on the
Cambrian railway, was certainly very becoming, or
whether it was the canary, or her charming docility,
or her candor and simplicity, it would be wrong to
say positively, but Aunt Caroline accepted the pres-
ent and a most cordial embrace in the spirit in which
they were proffered.

" I have brought you this, Aunt Caroline," said
Muffin, " because you have been so kind to Araminta,
and because it is so dear of you to have me.*'

" Thank you, my dear," said Aunt Caroline.

Aunt Caroline actually said, " My dear ! "

Certainly it may have been that a recent illness

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 899

had lowered her vitality ; yet it is hard to believe that
that can have been really the case, for she was still a
very resolute minded old lady. But Miss Burden was
amazed that she should permit herself such an un-
paralleled license of expression. Ponto was also. In-
deed, he appeared to resent it, for he sat up and
looked daggers at the canary. Dogs are so jealous,
pugs particularly.

In every way Muffin's fortnight was a great suc-
cess. She took the frankest pleasure in ascending
mountains, bestriding waterfalls, in leaping chasms,
in descending precipices, and in tearing her frock on
the slightest possible pretext. Not her mauve, of
course. The piece de resistance of her extremely lim-
ited wardrobe was kept in reserve for high days and
holy days. But she gave up the golden hours to the
sheer delight of soaking her shoes and stockings in
sloughs and mud and watercourses which an unerring
instinct enabled her to discover in the most unlikely
places; in rending her garments — second best, of
course, so they really did not matter — in tearing her
fingers upon briars and boulders and furze-bushes;
and in using the brand new straw the general out-
fitter at Slocum Magna had supplied her with for the
sum of one shilling and elevenpence halfpenny — ^there
is only one price for straw hats at Slocum Magna
provided you pay cash — to convey rare ferns and
recherchS specimens of the fauna and flora of the
neighborhood.

Muffin was a singularly learned creature. She
could tell you who was the lawful owner of the pink

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800 ARAMINTA

egg with brown spots, or the gray egg with cream
ones. She could point out the tracks of the weasel;
she could discern where a squirrel lurked among the
foliage when the ordinary person would have been
baffled completely. She was familiar with the habits
and appearance of the stoat. Every tree and bush
enabled her to unfold her knowledge. Not only did it
embrace all the objects in nature, but also she had a
passion for collecting every wayside flower and every
herb that grew.

Her store of information and her desire for its
acquisition were not confined to dry land merely. In
the numerous rills and small lakes in which the moun-
.tains abounded she spent many choice hours. Some-
times she removed her shoes and stockings ; sometimes
she did not. It depended upon whether she happened
to remember that she was wearing these encumbrances
before wading in in search of trout or minnows or
mere botanical knowledge. However, as became a
natural leader of fashion at Slocum Magna, she gen-
erally contrived in some sort to kilt her dress.

In all undertakings of this character, whether by
flood or field, Muffin was pre-eminent. But it must
be said that her sister Goose was a very willing, as-
siduous, and by no means inefficient lieutenant. Of
course one so accomplished as Muffin despised her
attainments really. For instance, she was never ab-
solutely clear as to which was a weasel and which
was a stoat, and whether a plover made a whirr with
its wing like a partridge, and which kind of fish it
was that herons cared for most particularly; but

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GRGS CASTLE 801

(jroose, although rather a " silly," was full to the
brim with zeal and docility. Docility was, indeed,
her great characteristic. She was incapable of ques-
tioning the most arbitrary command of her natural
superior.

Elizabeth was MuflSn's name in baptism, and that,
of course, was the name Aunt Caroline called her by.
From the moment of her arrival, as you have seen,
her august relation relented towards her. Why she
should have done so baffled all who had an expert
knowledge of the character of that old woman. Per-
haps she felt instinctively that there was something
in Elizabeth. If that was the case, her instinct did
not lead her astray.

There was certainly no guile in Muffin. But she
had a way with her. She was a very handsome girl
too, although whether she was of the style to take the
town, as her sister had done, is perhaps a matter for
conjecture. But for some reason Aunt Caroline took
to her from the beginning. She even deigned on fine
mornings to accompany Elizabeth into the woods
which enfolded Pen-y-Gros Castle on every side, walk-
ing quite nimbly with the aid of her stick, and with
Ponto waddling beside her. She would endure Eliza-
beth's discourse upon the fowls of the air and the
beasts of the field; and she would even go to the
length of carrying personally the specimens Eliza-
beth selected of the flora of the district. And the
manner in which Elizabeth navigated the lake at the
foot of the mountains, or the stream at the back of
the castle, filled her with amusement*

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302 ARAMINTA

Two days before the fortnight was at an end Aunt
Caroline did a thing without precedent. She actually
invited Muffin to stay a fortnight longer. Muffin
crowed with delight when she received the invitation.
She adored her sister Goose for one thing. Each had
brought up the other, and neither had a thought
which the other did not share. And in her fearless
and impulsive way Muffin had formed in her own
mind an ardently idealist picture of her formidable
relation. And neither good report nor ill could pos-
sibly disturb it.

" The girl has sense, Burden," said Aunt Caroline,
on the day the edict was issued that Elizabeth was to
remain a fortnight longer at Pen-y-Gros Castle.
" She appears to favor me much more than she does
Polly. I think George Betterton ought to see her.
Bring me some ink and a pen with a broad point."

There and then this old lady of ripe years com-
posed a letter for the benefit of the Duke of Bran-
caster in a hand that was remarkably firm and full of
character.

Pen-y-Qros Castle, North Wales, 25 August, 190—
Dear Geobge, — If ycm are returned from
Homburg, come and spend a week-end here.
Wales is looking very well just noWy and the lake
is full of trout. I should like you to have your
revenge at piquet.

Believe me^

Very sincerely yours,

Caroline Crewkerne.

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MUFFIN AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 808

No sooner had this letter been composed than the
Fates themselves began to take an active interest in
affairs. The air in that particular corner of the
Welsh Principality became charged with magnetism.

The letter to George Betterton had scarcely been
posted an hour when a communication bearing the
Harrogate postmark was delivered to the Countess of
Crewkeme, Pen-y-Gros Castle. It said —

My Dear Caroline, — Having effected my
annual cure, and feeling in consequence im-
Toeasurably the better able vn mind and body to
cope with the things of this world, I have pro-
posed to myself to spend the week-end with you
vn your Welsh fastness. You will be interested
to learn that I have given a certain matter the
most anxious and careful consideration, which I
do not need to remind you is demanded by its
highly critical nature. I am now in a position
to make a definite offer, provided there has been
no foreclosure.

I remain, my dear Caroline,

Always yours, Cheriton.

Having read this letter twice very carefully, the
recipient proceeded to tear it up into small pieces.
There was a dangerous light in her eye.

" Humph ! " said she, ominously. " I am not sure,
Cheriton, that you have not overstayed your market."

All the same, the second communication did not
appear wholly to displease the person to whom it was
addressed.

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CHAPTER XXIV

EPISODE OF A FEENCH NOVEL AND A EED
UMBEELLA

IT was In the middle of the afternoon of Saturday
that Cheriton arrived at Pen-y-Gros Castle by
the station fly from Dwygyfy. George Betterton
had arrived at the same hour the previous afternoon,
and by the same medium of travel. Cheriton was
received by his hostess without any excess of cordial-
ity. Her demeanor implied that any person of either
sex who presumed to try a fall with her did so at his
or her peril.

The other members of the party were in the woods,
and after Cheriton had taken some slight refresh-
ment, the August evening being extremely beautiful.
Miss Burden and he went to join them. The party
consisted merely of George Betterton, the wonderful
Miss Perry, and the accomplished Miss Elizabeth.
Miss Burden had been enjoined strictly beforehand
not to disclose the presence of either of the new-
comers.

" How is our delectable Miss Groose? '* said Cher-
iton, poetically. "Transformed, I am sure, into a
woodland creature or a spirit of the mountains."

Three or four hundred yards along the wooded
804 ^ T

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 806

path which led from the Castle to the wild hills was
a shallow lake. It was formed by a nuiaber of tiny
streams that trickled down from the mountains.
Small wonder was it to find .that an artist had erected
his easel in this picturesque place. It was indeed an
ideal spot, in which nature attained to great majesty
and perfection, and the August evening matched it.
Hardly a cloud ringed the noble head of Gwydr in
the middle distance.

A glance in passing at the artist's canvas rendered
it clear to Cheriton and Miss Burden that the painter
was not really so much absorbed in the scenery as
he ought to have been. It seemed that a youthful,
yellow-haired, blue-eyed nymph, whose physical pro-
portions were yet not exactly those of a fairy, was
standing barefooted in the lake. Her dress, which
was torn in at least twenty-four places, was kilted
up just out of reach of the water. In one hand she
held a collection of the fauna and flora of Lake
Dwygy ; by means of the other she was seeking dili-
gently to add to their number. The yellow hair was
tumbled all about her extremely frank and sunburnt
countenance. The sleeves of a sorely rent and be-
draggled garment were tucked up to the elbows ; and
a remarkably characteristic form of headgear, pre-
serving the outward appearance of a cucumber bas-
ket, sagged about her ears in a preposterously becom-
ing manner.

Cheriton was a rather short-sighted man. There-
fore he is to be excused for falling into a natural
error.

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806 ARAMINTA

" A naiad, I perceive," said he, with his great
air.

Muffin was by no means abashed by the courtliness
of my lord. She made a sort of courtesy, which had
quite an eighteenth-century savor about it in its
quaintness, its dignity, its grace, and its simplicity.
Unfortunately, however, the performance of it in-
volved the hem of her garments in the watery element.

" I am Muffin," said she, as though she took a
simple pride in that fact. ** Did you think I was
Goose? "

" A thousand pardons, my dear Miss Muffin," said
Cheriton, although it was tolerably clear that neither
Miss Miiffin nor himself felt that an apology was
demanded by the circumstances.

" They call me Muffin, you know," said that art-
less person, wringing the water out of her skirts with
wonderful insouciance. " But my name is Elizabeth,
really. And you are Lord Something, are you
not?"

" My name is Cheriton," said that nobleman. He
scrutinized the naiad with a cool and complacent
glance.

" It is so dear of you," said she, " to be so good to
Goose."

" My dear young lady ! "

" Lord Cheriton is so good to everybody," said a
pleasant and manly voice. " But, unfortunately, he
is ruining my picture."

Cheriton turned to confront Jim Lascelles.

" Why, Lascelles, my dear fellow," said he, " what

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA'SOT

right have you here? Your place is in Normandy
with your mother."

" She is here," said Jim. " We came on Wednes-
day."

" Either this is a very singular coincidence," said
Cheriton, " or you are making uncommonly rapid
strides in your art."

"Coincidence it is not," said Jim. "We spent
three delightful weeks in Normandy, and then the
scenery began to get flat and the people primitive
and angular. And as Borrow says that there are
mountains in Wales, and that , its inhabitants are
noted for their picturesqueness, we really felt that a
week here would not be wasted."

" Lascelles," said his patron, gravely, " I shall not
live to see it, but it is increasingly clear to my mind
that one day you will be president of the Royal
Academy."

" My mother appears to think so," said Jim,
modestly.

That lady was to be seen coming round the lake
towards the easel. She picked her way from stone
to stone in the daintiest manner, for quagmires
abounded. Jim felt quite proud of her, she looked
so admirable in her cool, green frock. She carried
a French novel and a red umbrella. No sooner did
Muffin observe her than she gave a crow of pleasure
and waded forth to meet her.

Cheriton's gaze was long and particular.

" Upon my word," said he, " they appear to grow
goddesses at Slocum Magna."

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808 ARAMINTA

" And the vicinity," said Jim.

" Certainly, my dear fellow ; certainly the vicinity.
We take that for granted."

The greeting of Jim's mother was extremely
cordial.

" This is indeed an unlooked-for pleasure," said
Cheriton.

** Am I to be censured," said Jim's mother, " for urg-
ing my gifted son to follow the bent of his genius.?^ "

" By no means," said Cheriton. " If he really felt
that the Welsh mountains and their picturesque in-
habitants were calling him, it is most right. Velas-
quez would not have been Velasquez had he not obeyed
the caU to Italy."

" I blame that Goose," said Jim's mother, severely.
" She must write to say that they had got MufBn at
Pen-y-Gros, as well as the mountains. He gave up
painting his Normandy peasant girls on the day he
received the letter."

"May I ask one question. Miss MuflSn? " said
Cheriton. " Have you brought your mauve? "

" Oh yes," said MuiBn. " But it is not good for
water."

" I presume," said Cheriton, " that water is not
good for it."

MuflSn proceeded to wring a little more moisture
out of her nether garments. She gave them an ad-
ditional kilt, and began to come ashore.

" Keep in," said Jim Lascelles, in a tone that
brooked no denial. ** Keep those Foot Pieces covered
or you will ruin everything."

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 809

" Mrs. Lascelles," said Cheriton, " I seem to re-
member that you have a natural eye for scenery. I
think I remarked it when you read the second chapter
of your novel. . Unfortunately, my own powers of
vision are so limited that I am not always able to
detect good scenery when I meet it. Those tall things
are mountains, are they not? "

" Yes, I think we have the authority of Borrow
that they are," said Mrs. Lascelles.

" Capital," said Cheriton, " and, as I am afraid
our presence here interferes with the nice conduct of
a masterpiece, do you mind showing me how to walk
upon them.'^ It is reckoned a good thing, I believe,
for one to be able to say one has walked upon the
mountains."

Accompanied by the French novel and the red
umbrella, Cheriton picked his way along the margin
of Lake Dwygy in patent leathers with box-cloth
uppers. It was a beauteous evening, calm and free.
Not a sound was to be heard except the muffled mur-
mur of the tiny wavelets washing the pebbles upon
which they walked. Occasionally, they heard the call
of a wood pigeon from the dense black mass behind
them, embowering the hamlet of Pen-y-Gros. Once
Mrs. Lascelles thought she detected the pipe of the
curlew. Facing them was the gigantic Gwydr, with
the August sunset beginning to peer over his shoulder.
His majesty was crowned with a glory that was older
than he.

The naiad and. the painter's easel were hidden now
by a bend of the lake. They were out of sight and

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810 ARAMINTA

out of hearing too. The red umbrella rested on a
large and smooth piece of slate, raised in such a man-
ner that it formed an ideal seat for two persons.
The two admirers of nature's majesty were gazing
around them at the immensity of things. Neither
spoke for a little while. It may have been awe that
enfolded them ; on the contrary, it may have been a
slight fatigue. For at least all experience tends to
teach that French novels, red umbrellas, and patent
leather boots with box-cloth uppers are more sus-
ceptible to the latter emotion than they are to the
former. Still, it is not to be controverted that Cher-
iton sighed profoundly.

" If I were that fellow Rousseau," said he, ** I
think I should want to sit down and write something."

** Doubtless you would have done so," said the
custodian of the red umbrella, " had you been Rous-
seau." ^

She sat down with her French novel on the smaller
half of the fragment of slate. She looked deliciously
cool and trim in her green linen frock, embellished
by a hat with a wide brim, which a Breton peasant
woman had plaited for her the summer before last.
It had a piece of blue crepe twisted round it. Did
she know that she was looking well, or had she really
persuaded herself that she was wholly absorbed in
high thoughts about nature?

'* Or were you Wordsworth you would feel the
same, possibly," said the fair inhabitant of the green
frock.

Pour encourager milor? Well, really, who can

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 811

say ? The emotions of a French novel, a red umbrella,
and a green linen frock with a twist of blue crepe are
so complex. Nature is complex also. There was
Gwydr straight before them with the sun dying upon
his left shoulder. His lesser brethren were already
veiled in shadow. The lake had the luster of a dark
jewel; the sky was opal; and scarcely two hundred
paces distant, beliind that line of boulders, the great
things of art were toward.

Although the wearer of the patent-leather boots
with box-cloth uppers was neither Rousseau nor
Wordsworth, he sat down gracefully upon the larger
half of the slate, after dusting it carefully with a
yellow silk handkerchief.

" Yes," said he, " had I been Rousseau I should
have sat here indubitably and have written about
nature. But had I been Wordsworth I should
have sat here and thought about nature. There is a
difference."

Jim's mother agreed that there was.

** I wonder," said she, " if nature holds an opinion
about us? When one finds her like this one feels
that she must be indifferent to everything."

" That weird fellow Gautier might have agreed
with you," said Cheriton, " and, to my mind,
he had a good head. * Ouf ! ' he used to say,
* nature reminds me of your Shakespeare. Every
day she makes a new masterpiece. And then she
says, Ouf! it doesn't interest me, and she makes
another.* •'

" Heedless of its destiny ! "

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812 ARAMINTA

" Rightly, I think. A masterpiece can always
take care of itself. Can you guess what Gautier
would have done had he sat here? **

" Smoked a cigarette," said Jim's mother.

" Precisely. He was so rational. Will you try
one?"

Cheriton offered his case.

" I will, with pleasure, if you will try one of these,"
said the wearer of the green frock, producing her own
cigarette case. " They are not so expensive as yours,
but they will be better for you."

" Pourquoi? One finds it so hard to accept the less
expensive things in life."

" If one grows too much of a Sybarite," said Jim's
mother, taking a sententious puff of her Egyptian
cigarette, " one is apt to lose one's touch."

" That is so true," said Cheriton, with a display of
feeling that seemed almost unnecessary. " The only
really unhappy man I ever knew was a chap who had
the misfortune to ruin his palate with old brandy."

There would have been silence had it not been for
the rooks. Jim's mother again thought she detected
the pipe of the curlew. The sun had dipped a little
closer to Gwydr's shoulder.

'* A penny for your thoughts, Mrs. Lascelles."

Jim's mother started perceptibly.

"I was thinking," she said — ^^'I was thinking
about my son."

" I had guessed it."

** Really!"

** Yes, you looked so maternal. In the true sense.

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 813

of course. There was such a- spirituality in your
eyes, if I may so express myself."

" I am so anxious about his future," said she, re-
moving her cigarette from her lips with simplicity
and with solicitude. As she did this, Cheriton took
occasion to observe that her eyes were gtay. Strictly
speaking, her face did not obey the regular canons of
beauty. Her features were a little haphazard. But
it was a face admirable alike for sense and for anima-
tion. Cheriton, who plumed himself upon being
something of a connoisseur of the human countenance,
felt that there was a great deal in it.

" Why anxious.? " said he. " His future can take
care of itself."

" I will tell you something. Lord Cheriton," said
Jim's mother, with great earnestness, " if I may."

" I am overwhelmed with honor."

" There is a wretched girl." There was a look of
dismay in eyes that were admirably gray and
solicitous.

" The dooce ! " said my lord.

" He can think of nothing else, and really I don't
know what will be the end of it."

" Do you approve of her? " When all was said,
Cheriton considered perfect practicality to be his
most eminent virtue.

" She is too far away. It would not be fair to her.
I am afraid I have been weak and foolish." Feminine
humility is always pleasant to some people. " You
see, she meant so much to my son that at first I had
not the courage to look the facts in the face. And

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314 ARAMINTA

now that at last I have done so I fear it Is too late
to repair the mischief."

" The mischief ! " said Cheriton, cocking his ears
at the word.

" He has asked the girl to marry him, you know,
and she has consented."

" Capital."

" No, Lord Cheriton," said Jim's mother, with a
little catch in her voice ; " it is far from being that.
It is not in the least right that she should marry
him. It is not in the least right that he should have
asked her."

In some subtle way, so fine are the gradations of
vanity, Cheriton felt himself to be honored by the
grave vehemence of Jim*s mother. Her tone was al-
most tragic. Had the gray eyes been accustomed to
the use of tears there is little doubt they would have
shed them. She continued to honor this parcel of
vanities with her maternal confidence.

" I smiled at first," she continued. ** I am afraid
I encouraged him a little. I felt it might help his
art."

" Ah ! " murmured Cheriton, with his eyeglass fixed
upon Gwydr.

" I didn't realize the danger."

" Ah, you should," said Cheriton, looking at Gwydr
most sagaciously. " One is ready to believe that the
art of our young friend was helped amazingly; but
then, unfortunately, Vart c^est VhommeJ^*

" I have been so wicked," said Jim's mother.

" Imprudent, shall we say? " said Cheriton, with a

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 815

paternal glance at the picture of attractive distress
that was seated beside him. " You toyed with a bar-
rel of gunpowder and a lighted torch, and you found
them combustible."

" They are hopelessly in love," said Jim's mother,
miserably.

"Thedooce! Both of 'em?"

" She is quite as bad as he. Girls are such stupid
creatures."

" I have always found them so," said Cheriton.

" The wretched creature ought to have seen from
the first that a struggling artist who lives with his
old mother at Balham cannot possibly marry her."

"Why not.?"

" Her prospects are so splendid," said Jim's
mother, vehemently.

Cheriton assumed his gravest air.

** My dear Mrs. Lascelles," said he, " do you assure
me seriously that the splendid nature of the young
lady's prospects renders her unfit for your son.? "

" Oh no," said Jim's mother ; " I would not say
that exactly. That is "

" Precisely," said Cheriton. " That is the point I
wished to elucidate. It seemed, to me so painfully
unmatemal that a woman and a mother should con-
sider a girl too good for her son. My dear Mrs. Las-
celles, if you will condescend to heed the advice of an
amateur you will see that your son marries her. If
girls will be so stupid they must take the conse-
quences."

" Do you really think I ought? "

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816 ARAMINTA

" You know you ought, Mrs. Lascelles," said Cher-
iton, almost sternly. " And you know that you will.
It is the least that a woman and a mother can do."

The mother of Jim Lascelles sighed deeply.

" Yes, Lord Cheriton," said she, " I am afraid you
are right."

The gray eyes were fixed upon Gwydr. But Gwydr
appeared to frown upon them.

How long Jim's mother and Lord Cheriton sat on
the round slab of slate by the marge of Lake Dwygy
is not really material to this history. But the sun
was drooping lower upon the left shoulder of Gwydr,
and the shadows were creeping down from the formi-
dable chasm of the Devil's Footstool and across the
black tinted water. Around a buttress of rock a
punt glided into view. It was propelled by a pole
and contained two persons.

The foremost of these, who stood in the bows
manipulating the pole, was a blue-eyed and yellow-
haired Amazon, bare-armed and bareheaded. Her
cheeks were gay with color, her lips with laughter.
Untrammeled freedom and the joy of living were to
be discerned in every line of her ample person. Be-
side her was a Homburg hat with a Guards' ribbon.

" That fellow ! " said the male occupant of the slab
of slate.

Clearly the apparition of the hat was not expected
by the author of the exclamation. Also it was un-
welcome to him if his tone and demeanor truly re-
flected his feelings. George came ashore, as becomes
a man of nine-and-fif ty, with an ample sense of re-

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 817

sponsibility. He handed Miss Perry out of the punt
with an air of ceremony, and insisted upon being al-
lowed to aflSx the boat to its moorings. He then pro-
ceeded to take a survey of nature in her magnificence
and her immensity. Then he gazed up at the daugh-
ter of nature who appeared to be modeled on very
similar lines.

** By the way," said he, " what time is dinner? "

" It isn't until half -past eight," said a drawl
which had a mournful music of its own. " Isn't it
late? "

"That man is a barbarian," said a voice in the
ear of Mrs. Lascelles.

" And what of the other one? " inquired she.

** She is a goddess."

" Then I am afraid," said Mrs. Lascelles, with
conviction, " that she is a barbarian also. I never
heard of a goddess who wasn't."

It appeared there were things in the punt. Nota-
bly, a rod and tackle and a basket containing a very
tolerable capture of trout.

" What beauties ! " said Miss Perry, as she came
ashore with the basket. " If I nm with them straight
to the cook, perhaps we might have some for dinner."

Miss Perry, who was surprisingly fleet of foot, was
proceeding to put this design into execution when
she came full upon Mrs. Lascelles and Lord Cheriton.
The unexpected presence of the latter appeared to
afford her great pleasure.

" It is so nice that you have come," said she, with
slow breathlessness. " Muffin is here. Have you seen

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818 ARAMINTA

her? Isn't she a sweet? And aren't these trout
beauties? Gobo caught seven and I caught two. I
will just rim with them to the cook, and then I will
find Muflto."

Before Cheriton could find an opportunity to reply
fittingly, Miss Perry passed on to Pen-y-Gros Castle
in the manner of a heavy-footed yet distinctly fast-
moving whirlwind.

" The ridiculous creature," said Jim's mother, with
a laugh.

" It seems to me," said Cheriton, " that our won-
derful Miss Perry develops now she is in her native
element."

George Betterton, having moored the punt, came
up along the pebbles. He carried the rod and tackle.
His tread was heavy, and, owing to his recent exer-
tions, he was blowing like a grampus. He seemed
to accept the presence of Cheriton as a natural corol-
lary. They greeted one another with the reserve
which among their countrymen is held to be the guar-
antee of a genuine character.

" Fine evenin'," said Gteorge.

" Fine evening," said Cheriton.

" For fish," said Jim's mother. " They appear to
have bitten beautifully."

" Caught fourteen," said Gteorge, almost with ani-
mation. " If they average an ounce, they average
two pound apiece."

" I understood Miss Perry to say you had caught
nine," said Mrs. Lascelles.

" Fourteen," said George, with the resolute €iir of a

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 319

man who does not brook contradiction. " Where's
the gal got to?"

" Little Miss Tucker desires trout for her supper,"
said Cherjiton. " There she goes. Leaps the boulders
like a chamois, by gad ! "

" I tell you what, Cheriton," said George, " that
gal can handle a punt with the best of 'em. She
knows how to throw a fly too. Very sure hand. Un-
commonly clever gal at fishin'."

" You surprise me," said Cheriton. " Three min-
nows in a net one would expect to be the limit of her
talent in the delicate art of Piscator."

" There is a dear little trout stream behind the
Parsonage at Slocum Magna," said Mrs. Lascelles,
demurely.

"Seen her sister, Cheriton.? " inquired George.
** They call her Crumpet. Smart young gal."

" Mufjifiy my dear fellow, Muffin^** said his friend,
in a tone of pained expostulation.

" Smart as paint," said George, with a perilous
approach to enthusiasm. " Makes her own flies and
tackle, and can find as much bait in a quarter of an
hour as will last for a week."

" The merits of a good upbringing," said Cheriton,
rising from the slab of slate, " are not easily to be
overestimated."

Mrs. Lascelles also rose. All three strolled by the
margin of the lake until they came upon the easel.
Jim Lascelles was assiduously utilizing what remained
of the daylight. There was still a glow about
Gwydr's left shoulder which was reflected upon the

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820 ARAMINTA

canvas. Muffin was seated on the pebbles, compla-
cently putting on her shoes and stockings.

" Did you catch anything? " she demanded of the
bearer of the rod and tackle.

" Sixteen," said that sportsman, robustly.

" How splendid ! Do let me see them."

" You will have to wait until dinner, my dear," said
Greorge. " They have gone to the pot."

"Good progress, Lascelles?" inquired Cheriton,
conducting an amused examination of Jim's labors.

" I think I have done a good day's work," said
Jim, packing up his tools.

" Yes, I think you have. I must have the refusal
of it for Cheriton House. By the way, have you
heard anything from my friend Kendal? "

" I am to go to Yorkshire in the autumn to paint
Lady Priscilla."

"Excellent! And remember, if Kendal is to re-
spect you, your price must be not a penny less than
five hundred guineas."

As the party turned away from the lake, a dryad
emerged from the wood, breathless and bareheaded.
She had three trout in a basket.

" It will be all right," she announced. " We shall
have them for dinner. There are six, one apiece for
everybody except Ponto, and Miss Burden thinks
trout are not good for him. And I've brought three
for you, dear Mrs. Lascelles."

" Then you are a very noble girl," said Jim's
mother, " and I highly appreciate your act of self-
sacrifice."

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A FRENCH NOVEL AND RED UMBRELLA 821

By this time Muffin had resumed her shoes and
stockings and had risen from the pebbles. Her sister
took her by the hand and led her forward with an
air of the most admirable simplicity.

" Lord Cheriton," said she, " this is Muffin."
" I am already honored/' said my lord, " by an
acquaintance which I shall strive to cultivate."

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CHAPTER XXV

PABIS ON MOUNT IDA

MISS PERRY insisted on conducting Jim and
his mother to their lodgings, which were at a
small cottage in Pen-y-Gros hamlet. She was afraid
they might get lost in the wood. Jim's mother took
the trout within, while Jim conducted Miss Perry
back to the gate of Pen-y-Gros Castle. It seemed
that he was haunted with the fear that in the gloom
she might take the wrong turning.

The Wargrave coat-of-arms was engraved on a
stone pillar at the castle entrance. They leaned
against it. The evening shadows were fast blotting
out Gwydr and his brethren.

" Goose Girl," said Jim, mournfully, " we are in
pretty deep water, you and I, aren't we.'^ "

" It will be all right, Jim," said Miss Perry, cheer-
fully. " You are sure to get rich painting all these
pictures. It is a splendid idea to paint MufBn. Her
picture will be worth a lot of money. And I am sure,
when you are rich. Aunt Caroline will let me marry
you."

Jim shook his head sorrowfully.

" Chaps don't often get rich at my trade," said
he ; " and when they do, they don't do it all at once.
Now suppose. Goose Girl, I did not get rich. Sup-

822

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 828

pose I was only just able to rub along just a$ I do
now, what would you say then?"

" I should like it all the better," said Miss Perry,
with conviction, " because then I shouldn't have to
have a maid. A maid loses her temper, you know, if
you put things in your hat, or you get much mud
on your frock, or you get up too early."

" But don't you see, you Goose," said Jim, " that
you have such grand prospects, and that it would be
such a great thing for the family if you married a
swell."

" Would it, Jim.^ " said Miss Perry, reluctantly.

" Of course it would, you Goose."

Miss Perry indulged in silence and reflection.

" Perhaps you are right, Jim," said she. " And
if I did you would be able to marry MufBn, and that
would be ever so much nicer for you."

Jim gave an exclamation of impatience.

" Who wants to marry Muffin, you great Gkx)se.^ "
said he.

" But, Jim," said Miss Perry, gravely, " she is such

" Never mind what she is," said Jim. " I have my
own opinion about her. I want to marry you, and I
mean to."

In spite of the proximity of the Wargrave coat-
of-arms, Jim Lascelles thereupon behaved in a very
imperious and heedless manner. He encircled the
ample form of Miss Perry, and kissed her with great
boldness. As no resistance was forthcoming, he re-
peated the operation.

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824 ARAMINTA

" You great Goose," said he.

Whether in the continued absence of resistance Jim
Lascelles would have persisted in this behavior, it is
hardly right to conjecture ; for at this moment there
came an interruption. A small, round quadruped
came waddling through the gate of Pen-y-Gros Cas-
tle. His tail was curled up in a most cynical man-
ner, and, with eyes swollen with baked meats, he
gazed about him with the insolence of a feudal lord,

" Aunt Caroline," whispered Miss Perry. Doubt-
less there was guilt on her conscience. She drew her-
self in very close to the pillar.

** She wouldn't come out in the dusk," said Jim.
" It is only Ponto taking the air to get an appetite
for dinner."

Jim picked up a pebble, and, taking exact and
careful aim, dropped it on the supercilious nose of
that overfed quadruped.

" Now, Goose Girl," said Jim, " it is time you went
up to dress, or you'll get none of those trout."

This timely reminder caused Miss Perry to flee.
It was twenty mihutes past eight; Aunt Caroline
brooked no delay, and Fanchette hated to hurry.

Jim walked back sadly to his nocturnal chop.
Why was he so poor.? Why had he not more firm-
ness of character? He felt that the part he was
playing was an unworthy one. He had no right to
be in Wales at all. He was merely acting the part
of the spoil-sport.

However, the person most concerned by no means
intended to have his sport spoiled by anybody. In

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 825

any case, he felt quite competent to conduct his suit
to a successful issue. He had made the tedious jour-
ney to Pen-y-Gros Castle expressly for the purpose.

It is true that the imexpected presence of Greorge
Betterton was a little disquieting. Some six weeks
had elapsed since their Sunday morning conversation
at Ward's. The opinion he had then formed of the
temperature of George's affections had had a marked
influence on his subsequent conduct. In the opinion
of this cool and shrewd calculator, George was a
decoy put up by Caroline Crewkeme to lure him into
the mesh.

All the same, it was a dangerous view to take.
And if George had had the skill to mask his inten-
tions, Greorge would win the prize. Frankly, he did
not think George had the skill requisite to such tac-
tics. He was one of those plain fellows whom a child
might read. Superficial observers of the Kendal type
were always apt to jump far too quickly to conclu-
sions. Quite a number of these had given the prize
to George already. But Cheriton counted upon a
more intimate knowledge. George was a plain, solid
Conservative who, when it came to the point, would
think twice before making a duchess of a parson's
penniless daughter.

Nevertheless, when he took in the wonderful Miss
Perry, who, in spite of all that Fanchette could do,
had kept dinner waiting ten minutes, he was rather
inclined to feel that he had incurred an unwarrant-
able risk for the mere pleasure of indulging his nat-
ural vein of cynicism. George was rather boastful

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826 ARAMINTA

about the trout, which were delicious. And at the
same time he waxed enthusiastic over Miss Perry's
conduct of the punt, her manner of casting a fly;
and he declared she could hook and play a fish with
anybody.

" That is most interesting, my dear George," said
Cheritpn. " But all this merely confirms the opinion
I have long since formed of her sex."

" I should like to see her with salmon," said Greorge.
" I should like to see her on Nalloch Water."

** Muffin is eoer so much better than I am," said
Miss Perry.

" She must come too," said George.

" Yes, I think it is all right," murmured his watch-
ful adversary, with a little sigh. " I think the old
duffer is to be trusted."

Yet was he? Throughout the whole dinner the
problem loomed before him. Doubtless it was the
conduct of Caroline Crewkerne, in combination with
the guilt upon his conscience that precipitated his
uneasiness. That old woman had assumed a demeanor
of concentrated scomfulness which even she had never
surpassed. And to make things worse, she was con-
tinually putting forth sinister hints and indulging
in sardonic little touches which unmistakably were
aimed at his self -security.

There could be no doubt that Caroline Crewkerne
was a bad one to cross. And further, there could be
no doubt that she bitterly resented what she called
" Cheriton's tactics." In the first place, he had com-
mitted the unpardonable offense of seeing through

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 327

and making light of her devices. It required a very
bold person indeed to do that.

After dinner Araminta and Elizabeth played
billiards, while their elders were set to cards. Caro-
line Crewkerne had developed a talent for bridge,
which, considering her advanced age, was surprising.
Miss Burden also was learning to play very well, al-
though it is true that she suffered from a cardinal
weakness. Her reluctance to declare " no trumps "
was due to something in her character, and, in the
opinion of Cheriton, who was her partner as a rule,
it was a great handicap in life. When It was
George's turn to be " dummy," he invariably fell
asleep, and before the game could proceed he had to
be roused forcibly.

Caroline Crewkerne was one of those vigilant and
seasoned warriors who are not very particular what
time they go to bed. Therefore Cheriton counted
upon being able to conduct a transaction that night
which at the first opportunity he was determined to
bring to a point. In this he was well within his
reckoning, for Caroline Crewkerne and he easily sat
out the others. It was about a quarter to eleven when
George drank his final whisky and mineral water, and
in a condition of impending somnolence went to his
repose.

" Now, Caroline," said Cheriton, in an extremely
businesslike manner, " let us settle this thing one
way or the other. We have been toying with it long
enough."

**What thing do you refer to, Cheriton?" in-

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828 ARAMINTA

I

quired that accomplished dissembler, who merely
asked the question as a matter of form.

" The future of our delectable Miss Goose. Now,
Caroline, I want you to be practical. Be practical,
Caroline, and I foresee no difficulty."

Caroline assumed her hanging- judge demeanor.
She snuffed the air as a statesmanlike preliminary,
Cheriton, however, a seasoned warrior, was not to be
disconcerted by little things like these.

" Now, Caroline," said he, coolly, " no one appre-
ciates more fully than I do the honorable character
of your motives. Your first wish and your last is to
do your duty by your delectable niece."

" Don't use so many words, Cheriton," said Caro-
line, sharply. " Remember you are not wasting the
time of the country, but of a private individual. I
don't need any reminder from you to do my duty by
the girl."

" Of course not, Caroline," said the mellifluous
Cheriton. " But I don't want you to get your idea
of duty unduly inflated. I want you to be reasonable.
I am prepared to marry the gal — ^she is a sweet, good,
and healthy creature, and, on the mother's side, she
will pass muster — but she is in no sense a partie; and
perhaps I shall be forgiven if I feel that Cheriton
House has a right to expect one."

" Let it," said Caroline, grimly.

" Forgive my adopting the language of a trades-
man," said Cheriton, harmoniously ; " but I feel that
you will experience less difficulty in understanding it.
As I say, I like the girl, and I am prepared to make

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 829

what in the circumstances is a good offer. You are
at liberty to reject it, of course ; but frankly I don't
think you can expect a better."

" Don't be too sure about it, Cheriton," said Caro-
line, with a hawklike glint from imder the bushy
eyebrows.

" Oh, but I am," said Cheriton, confidently.
" Greorge is a bad hat."

" What do you mean? " said Caroline, sitting very
upright.

" You can lead a horse to water," said Cheriton,
" but you can't make him drink."

Caroline sat with her hands clenched in her lap,
the picture of suppressed fury.

" Would it surprise you to learn," said she, " that
George Betterton has made her an offer of mar-
riage.? "

** Yes," said Cheriton, " it would indeed. Either
he was in his cups when he made it, or he has since
repented of his indiscretion. George is going to
marry Priscilla L'Estrange."

"What is your authority for that statement?"
demanded Caroline, warily, for she had a very auda-
cious gaze fixed upon her.

" The authority of my intuitive perception."

"Intuitive fiddlestick!"

" I know George nearly as well as I know you,"
said the audacious suitor. " Had George intended to
gobble at the cherry, he would have done so six
weeks ago, during your untimely attack of laryngitis.
But George is an old hand ; and although it takes a

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880 ARAMINTA

seasoned campaigner to marry Priscilla L'Estrange,
it is better that he should do so, as far as 216, Pic-
cadilly, is concerned, than that he should marry the
penniless daughter of a country parson."

With shame and trepidation and searching of heart
be it written that this couple of elderly worldlings sat
into the small hours of the morning discussing the
pros and cons of the case in a most indelicate manner,
and with a disposition to haggle like a pair of Jews
at an auction. The bickering and the bartering of
these two elderly persons were enough to overthrow
the most resolute idealist among us.

There can be no question that the greater share
of the blame belonged to Caroline Crewkerne. Cheri-
ton, who knew her as well as he knew his alphabet,
was really far more liberal-minded than she was. He
was quite as shrewd also. For all the pretension of
this old woman's trappings, and her lofty airs, and
her contempt for all outside the magic circle — ^and
she reserved to herself the exclusive right to perform
the geometrical feat of drawing it — at heart she
was ruthlessly bourgeoise. Indeed, she was apt to
plume herself upon that quality, which, however, she
preferred to call by another name. Therefore who
shall blame Cheriton for his pious determination to
give her a Roland for an Oliver?

Caroline Crewkerne was far better endowed with
the goods of this world than many people think a
private citizen has a right to be. She was a rich old
woman, and, like so many rich old women, she was
grasping. Cheriton was rich also, but, for all his

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 881

cynical airs, his culture was liberal enough to forbid
his making a god of his money. However, he was
never averse from a battle of wits. If it was freely
spiced with a frank contempt for the polite conven-
tional glosses which he delighted to mock, so much
the better.

Cheriton's chief desire, apart from the state of his
emotions, was to rea^ his old friend a lesson. He
knew that she had tried her hardest to overreach him.
Not, of course, on her own behalf, but for the ama-
teur's sheer love of performing that action. He had
had the wit to defend himself successfully, and now
he must see if he could not make her pay for her
devices. He was perfectly willing to marry Miss
Perry, and, prior to so doing, he was prepared to
settle a certain sum upon her. But at the same time,
he made it a point that something fixed and definite
must be forthcoming from the other side.

It was that rock which sundered them finally at
two o'clock in the morning. VHien this condition was
first laid down, Caroline Crewkerne laughed to scorn
" the insolent proposal," as she called it. In the
presence, however, of Cheriton's extreme imperturba-
bility, which none knew better how to assume when he
chose, she. grew gradually cooler, until at two o'clock
she brought herself to say that, " without pledging
herself to anything, she would consider it more fully,
and, if necessary, she would take the advice of those
who had had more experience in these matters."

They parted amicably, and, it is to be feared, with
a renewed respect for one another. They had fought

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882 ARAMINTA

many shrewd battles of one kind or another — over
cards, over politics, over a flagrant job, over a third
person's reputation, over a sale of shares; in fact,
over everything except religion. It was their cheer-
ful custom to expect no quarter and to give none.
But at the same time, they bore no malice.

As Cheriton bore his candle up the ghostly stone-
flagged staircase, with suits of armor grinning at
him cuid mediaeval weapons menacing him from the
walls, and the young moon peering at him through
the oriel windows, he knew that his old adversary
would make a last final and consummate effort to en-
tangle Greorge Betterton. And if she succeeded, the
United Kingdom would not contain a happier old
woman than she.

Outside the first door in the corridor was a pair
of shoes. They were rather large. Outside the next
door was another pair, far less fashionable in design,
yet in size precisely similar. Cheriton stood a mo-
ment to gaze reflectively from one pair to the other,

" I shall risk it,*' he mused. " George won't rise
now. But it is rather a pity both of 'em are so
dooced handy with a rod and tackle."

" Cheriton," said a grim voice behind him, ** do
you know of what you remind me? "

" Paris on Mount Ida? "

" No," said Caroline Crewkeme. " You remind me
of a fox outside a poultry-yard, looking for a hole
in the fence."

Cheriton shook his head protestingly.

" A curiously banal figure," said he, " Why are

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PARIS ON MOUNT IDA 833

you always so bourgeoisey Caroline? You have no
need to be."

Caroline shook her head also.

" Cheriton," said she, with great resolution, " I
don't believe a word you have told me about Priscilla
L'Estrange.''

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CHAPTER XXVI

JIM LASCELLES ADDS HEROISM TO HIS OTHEE
FINE QUALITIES

FOUR hours later saw the inception of an im-
perial August day. The previous night Muffin
had entered Goose's chamber by stealth, with bare
feet and clad in a white nightgown only, and armed
with a fat bolster. After a solemn exchange of civil-
ities, of which Muffin invariably got the worst, be-
cause Goose's aim was wonderfully accurate fcid she
was not susceptible to the most tremendous buffets,
they ended as usual by sharing the same bed and go-
ing to sleep in one another's arms. It was never their
custom to heed anything else until the light of the
morning touched their eyelids. As a general rule
it touched Muffin's first. It then became the duty
of that active spirit, as soon as she realized that she
was awake, to hale the still sleeping Goose out of
bed. Sometimes, when even this herculean labor had
been accomplished, she had to beat that somnolent
person about the head with a pillow before she could
be induced to put on. her stockings. This morning
provided no exception to the regular mode of pro-
cedure.

The mists were still gathered about Lake Dwjgy,
884

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 336

and little was to be seen of Gwydr and his brethren,
when, hand-in-hand, Groose and Muffin came tramp-
ling the dew of the early August day. Bareheaded,
laughing, blithe as the winged inhabitants of the air,
they were supremely happy. Each had brought up
the other from her earliest infancy, and although
each was exquisitely modest in all that pertained to
herself, in regard to the fruit of her handiwork each
had formed an exaggerated estimate. Goose was in-
ordinately proud of Muffin, and Muffin was inordi-
nately proud of Goose.

Tobias was borne in a bag. Although he was
strictly forbidden to catch rabbits, he was never
denied an airing.

" There goes a squirrel," said Muffin. " Look, in
that tree. Up he goes; but it is not very high. I
wonder if we could catch him for Aunt Caroline.
Hold my bread and butter, and don't eat it."

Muffin had already established herself upon the
first branch, when a voice, great alike in authority
and scornfulness, was heard through the early morn-
ing stillness.

" Come out of that tree, you Ragamuffin," it said.
" Leave that squirrel alone, and kindly take the
trouble to read the notice underneath you. * The
public is allowed in these woods on sufferance only by
permission of the Right Honorable the Countess of
Crewkerne. Any person guilty of disorderly conduct,
or who does willful damage to the trees, shrubs, and
flowers, or who attempts to take fish from the lake, or
who wanders in search of game, will be prosecuted

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886 ARAMINTA

with the utmost rigor of the law.' Come down at
once, you Ragamuffin."

The voice belonged to Jim Lascelles, of course.
Jim was looking rather haggard, weary, and dishev-
eled. The truth is he had had no sleep during the
night. In the acute phase of his fortunes he could
not rest. A sensitive conscience assured him that he
was on forbidden ground, seeking fruit to which he
had no lawful claim. He would have been far better
in Normandy.

This morning he was. in a really desperate humor.
Work had never been farther from his thoughts, and
the fact that two persons had been reputed recently
to have lost their lives in an attempted ascent of the
Devil's Footstool, seemed to invest that precipitous
chasm with a certain attraction.

" Look here, you law-breakers," said he, " let us
go and have a look at the DeviPs Footstool."

The Misses Perry needed no second invitation. The
dark and baleful ascent looming up from the lower
end of the lake had fascinated them already, and
they had even made one or two tentative attempts
upon it. A walk of twenty minutes brought them to
the foot thereof ; and Tobias being left in his bag at
the bottom, the three of them began to conduct some
highly interesting and extremely thrilling investiga-
tions.

From ledge to ledge they went, rising rapidly to a
dizzy and precarious height. On one side of them
was a torrent, on the other a chasm. But they went
up resolutely, without a pause, although the foot-

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 887

hold was very uncertain, and it meant death and de-
struction to look down. And when, in the course of
three hours, they returned breathless and disheveled
to whence they started, having made a complete cir-
cuit of the Devil's Footstool, and the three of them
sat down exulting in their weariness by the side of
Tobias, they really felt that they had achieved some-
thing. All the most signal performances of Widdi-
ford and Slocum Magna had been effaced.

According to Borrow, Wales is not only a pictur-
esque, but also a romantic country. Therefore, it
must not surprise the judicious reader that by half-
past nine on this memorable August morning Jim
Lascelles had become a hero. The breakfast table at
Pen-y-Gros Castle was regaled by an extremely thrill-
ing narrative of adventures by gorge and chasm.

It was not quite clear — and even to this day the
mystery has not been elucidated — ^whether Jim Las-
celles had saved the life of Muffin, or whether Muffin
had saved the life of Jim Lascelles. But one fact
emerged clear, distinct, and radiant. Jim Lascelles
was a hero of the first class. His conduct within
the precincts of the Devil's Footstool merited a
diploma.

Cheriton seconded the praises of his protege.

" It is bred in the fellow," said he. " His father,
you know, was Lascelles, V.C'

" He looks that kind of young man," assented
Miss Burden. " His eyes are so open and fearless."

As soon as Aunt Caroline was visible, which was
not until noon, she was put in possession of the facts.

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888 ARAMINTA

" Who, pray, is Jim Lascelles? '' was her first
inquiry; and the tone of it was not wholly sym-
pathetic.

" He used to live at the Red House at Widdif ord,"
chimed both her nieces as one.

In spite of his heroism, which no amount of cross-
examination could mitigate, a few leading questions
which Elizabeth was called upon to answer had the
effect of rendering Aunt Caroline decidedly hostile to
Jim Lascelles. For the identity of the presumptuous
young man was only too soon established. He was
the person who had had the impertinence to fling him-
self out of the house in Hill Street when he had been
rebuked in a becoming manner for conduct which was
really unpardonable. As for the " Jim," it literally
stuck in Aunt Caroline's throat.

It was almost the only reminder that their august
relation had had, beyond the scanty character of
their wardrobes and their plebeian devotion to bread
and jam, that their upbringing had been that of
Tom, Dick, and Harry.

" Elizabeth," said Aunt Caroline, " it would be
more seemly to my mind if you have occasion to men-
tion Mr. Lascelles to speak of him as such."

Muffin opened solemn and round eyes of wonder
upon Aunt Caroline.

« Oh, but," said she, " if I called Jim Mr. Las-
celles he would pull my hair."

" In that case," said Aunt Caroline, " you would
do well to terminate the acquaintance."

" But he saved me from falling down the preci-

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 889

pice," said Muffin, " and I am going to write to
dearest papa about it."

" Caroline," said Cheriton, " a truce to Whig ex-
clusiveness. Behave like a human being, and ask the
young fellow to dinner. Ask his mother also. I am
told she is a singularly agreeable woman."

Aunt Caroline sat the image of blue-blooded de-
fiance. Gkorge Betterton, however, who had listened
torpidly to the account of the episode, was prevailed
upon by the general enthusiasm for Jim Lascelles,
and the favorable impression he had already formed
of that hero's mother, to throw the weight of his own
influence into the scale.

" Right thing, Caroline," said George, " to ask the
young fellow to dinner in the circumstances. Behaved
very well, they tell me."

" He shall not cross my threshold," said Caroline,
** until he apologizes for his behavior to me in Hill
Street."

" Of course he will apologize," said Cheriton, " if
you hold out the olive branch. He can't apologize
unless you do."

" I am sure, dear Lady Crewkeme," ventured Miss
Burden, " Mr. Lascelles is a gentleman and his mother
is a ^"

Miss Burden was unable to complete her remark.
She was annihilated by a terrific glance. The elder
Miss Perry also, as was to be expected, behaved very
tactlessly.

"Jim is just a sweet," she drawled ridiculously,
"and dear Mrs. Lascelles is just a sweet too."

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The glance which had slain Miss Burden was ex-
tended to the elder Miss Perry. Its effect in that
quarter was by no means so terrible. That Feather-
brain sustained it with the most admirable composure.

" Jim is just a sweet," said she, " and Muffin saved
him from falling over the precipice."

" I was given to understand," said Aunt Caroline,
" that it was the man Lascelles who saved Eliza-
beth."

" Yes, it was. Aunt Caroline," said Muffin ; " but
Goose is rather a silly."

Of course there could only be one conclusion to the
whole matter. The massed force of public opinion
was too much for the Whig remnant, even in its own
stronghold. Ungraciously, it must be confessed. Miss
Burden was commanded to write as follows : " The
Countess of Crewkerne requests the pleasure of the
company of Mrs. Lascelles and Mr. James Lascelles
at dinner this evening at 8:30."

" This is one of your white days, Caroline," said
her oldest friend, with approbation. ** A singularly
gracious act in a life which, if I may say so, has not
been too full of them. We must mark it with a little
white stone."

" Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton," said the old lady.
" Who has dared to remove the ribbon from Ponto's
neck?"

" He lost it in the water. Aunt Caroline," said
Muffin, with all the assurance of one in favor at
Court, « when he feU in."

" When he fell in ! " said Aunt Caroline.

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JIM LASCELLES* HEROISM 341

" He went to sleep on the edge of the punt," Muffin
explained, " and he toppled over."

" I trust," said the least of Ponto's admirers,
" that the obese beast will not gain length of days
from his immersion."

John, wearing his second-best livery, which he
always affected in Wales, delivered the mandate at
Jim Lascelles' lodgings in Pen-y-Gros hamlet, but
that hero and his mother had gone down to the lake.
They were joined there presently by a cheerful
party of four persons. Jim Lascelles was very
heartily congratulated upon the heroism he had
displayed.

" It has given great pleasure at the Castle," said
Cheriton, " where heroism is always, and I think
justly, admired. My friend Brancaster will exert
himself to get you a medal. Doubtless your Sover-
eign will present it to you."

George Betterton, in the manner of a true-blue
Englishman, went the length of shaking the hero very
heartily by the hand.

" Great pleasure to me, Mr. Lascelles," said that
worthy, " to hear of your gallant action. Congratu-
late you heartily. Would have given great pleasure
to your gallant father."

Jim Lascelles laid down his palette with an air of
tremendous truculence.

"To whom am I indebted for this?" said he.
" Which of them is it? I suspect that Goose."

"They are both of them Geese," said Jim's
mother.

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" Aunt Caroline thinks it is so splendid of you,"
said Muffin, who was seated on the pebbles for the
purpose of removing her shoes and stockings. " She
has invited you and dear Mrs. Lascelles to dinner.''

" You incomparably foolish person," said Jim.
" I've a great mind now not to paint your picture."

" A pair of irresponsible babblers," said Jim's
mother, whose eyes were really very much brighter
than they had any need to be. " One is as bad as the
other. But an old woman feels very proiid of her son
all the same."

Jim Lascelles stuck his hands in his pockets
ruefully.

" This is the deuce," said he. " Upon my word, I
deny the whole thing in the most absolute and un-
conditional manner."

" I have heard you deny your genius before now,"
said Mrs. Lascelles ; " but, my dear boy, you have
never been able to convince Lord Cheriton that you
are not a genius. And I feel sure that all you say
to the contrary will fail to convince him that you are
not a hero."

" Absurd ! " said Jim, hotly. " I am as much of
one as I am of the other."

" A dooced awkward place you are in, my dear
fellow," said Cheriton. " Everybody who has heard
Miss Muffin's thrilling account of her deliverance
from an imminent and deadly peril within the pre-
cincts of the Devil's Coal Box ^"

" Footstool," said the elder Miss Perry.

" Footstool, I stand corrected," said Cheriton, add-

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 343

ing new embellishments to his oratory. " Everybody
who has heard Miss Muffin's hair-raising narrative
of her deliverance from an imminent and deadly peril
within the precincts of the DeviPs Footstool has con-
ceived a deep admiration for its author. From my
old and misguided friend Lady Crewkerne to Ponto
himself 9 all at the Castle are of one mind. I may say
the admiration of our friend Miss Burden is already
tinged with passion."

" Put on those shoes and stockings, you Raga-
muffin," said Jim. " I shall not paint you."

" But, Jim," said that artless person, with eyes
of extraordinary roundness and candor, " you prom-
ised to."

" Lascelles," said Cheriton, " I am afraid, my dear
fellow, you must accept the inevitable with all the
grace at your command. No reasonable person can
possibly doubt your heroism, arid I fear it is only
critics of the older school who can doubt your genius.
It is hard to conceive a situation more trying to a
modest young Englishman, educated at Harrow. My
dear Mrs. Lascelles, I feel constrained to compliment
you publicly upon having a son who is the dooce of
a fine fellow."

" I am glad you think so. Lord Cheriton," said
Jim's mother. "I think so myself."

Thereupon the green linen frock and the red um-
brella and the French novel, together with an ex-
tremely choice suit of tweeds and a superb Panama
hat, went along by the lake to take a closer view of
that formidable chasm, the Devil's Footstool. At the

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844 ARAMINTA

same time George Betterton handed Miss Goose
aboard the punt.

Jim Lascelles took up the tools of his trade.

" Get into the water, you Ragamuffin," said he.
" I'll paint you with pink eyes and green hair. And
your frock shall not have a single rent in it. It
shall be the last cry of the fashion.*'

Things went excellently well for a time. It was
a glorious August day. There was hardly a cloud
about Gwydr; the sky was of a pure Italian hue;
there was scarcely a puff of wind to ruffle Lake
Dwygy. For a bright and diligent hour Jim
Lascelles was on the best of terms with his
canvas.

" Keep that side, you Ragamuffin," said he, " and
give the light of the morning a chance. Keep that
cucumber basket out of the eye of the sun. And don't
leave the water on any pretext whatever. I am not in
the least interested in toads, newts, lizards, speckled
trout, ferns, grass, or in your general conversation.
Soak and tear and soil your garments to your heart's
content, but you take those Foot Pieces out of the
water on pain of appearing at Burlington House as
an American heiress."

" But, Jim "

" Silence, you Ragamuffin."

" But, Jim, there is dearest Aunt Caroline."

It was perfectly true. The mistress of Pen-y-Gros
Castle was standing five yards from the canvas. She
was in the full panoply of war. Ponto, her aide-de-
camp, and Miss Burden, her gentlewoman, were by

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 346

her side. Her ebony stick supported her venerable
frame ; her headdress was surmounted by a hat that
had been fashionable in 1880. An eyeglass was in
her grim old eye; and her gentlewoman held an um-
brella over her to protect her aged form from the
fierce rays which, according to Borrow, are some-
times reflected from the slopes of the Welsh moun-
tains.

" I am sorry to curtail a discourse on art," said the
mistress of Pen-y-Gros Castle, speaking in a tone that
was beautifully distinct, " but you do not seem to be
aware that the public is allowed in these grounds on
sufi^erance only."

Jim took off^ his hat and bowed in a very becoming
if slightly ironical manner.

" I beg your pardon. Lady Crewkerne," said he,
" but I am aware of that perfectly. I have seen the
notice which warns the public at least six times this
morning."

" I hope you will heed it," said Lady Crewkeme.

** It does not forbid the public to paint the scenerjsi
I beheve," said Jim coolly.

Jim had really no right to be so cool in the presence
of the mistress of Pen-y-Gros Castle. All the same,
it is by no means certain that she did not respect him
for it.

" It depends," said she, " upon what portion of the
scenery the public wishes to paint. Tor instance, you
appear to be painting some person who stands in the
water. And the public is expressly forbidden to enter
the water."

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346 ARAMINTA

" I am sorry," said Jim Lascelles. " I beg your
pardon, Fm sure."

Jim Lascelles, for all his coolness, did not quite
know what to say next to keep within the rules of the
game. However, that section of the public that was
standing in the water saw fit rather providentially to
disobey the instructions of the artist. She left the
water and came resolutely to the aid of Jim Lascelles.
Barefooted and with her skirt kilted in the true
Slocum Magna and Widdiford manner, she accosted
the mistress of Pen-y-Gros Castle.

" Dearest Aunt Caroline," said she, " this is Mr.
Jim Lascelles, who saved me from falling over the
precipice this morning."

" We have met before, I think," said Aunt Caro-
line, grimly.

"Wasn't it brave of him?" said Muffin.

" Mr. Lascelles," said Aunt Caroline, " you appear
to have acted in a prompt and courageous manner,
and I congratulate you upon your manly conduct."

" Thank you. Lady Crewkeme," said Jim, with
excellent gravity, " but I am happy to say Miss Perry
has greatly exaggerated the occurrence."

" Oh, no, Jim," said Miss Perry. " Ask Goose."

" There is one thing, Mr. Lascelles," said the
mistress of Pen-y-Gros Castle, " that I hope you will
take to heart. In future the public will be strictly
forbidden to climb the Devil's Footstool."

" I think that precaution will be in its interests,"
said Jim. " It is all right going up, but it is a
wicked place coming down."

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JIM LASCELLES' HEROISM 847

" Well, Mr. Lascelles," said Lady Crewkeme, " it
is satisfactory to learn that this injudicious adven-
ture has terminated without loss of life. I shall be
glad if you will dine at the Castle this evening."

Jim Lascelles was sufficiently mollified by the tone
to accept the invitation.

" And for my part," said Jim, after he had done
so, " I shall be glad. Lady Crewkeme, if you will ac-
cept an apology for my behavior the last time we
met. I am afraid I was very much in the wrong."

" Mr. Lascelles," said Lady Crewkeme, speaking
very distinctly, " I have since thought that matter
over carefully, and I have come to the conclusion that
there is no need for me to revise the judgment I
formed at the time. You were very much in the
wrong. All the same, I have pleasure in accepting
your apology. Burden, we will return. I feel the
heat."

Things having been placed on this amicable basis,
the mistress of Pen-y-Gros Castle withdrew with her
retinue, and Muffin returned to the water.

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CHAPTER XXVII

EEVEL IS HELD AT PEN-Y-GEOS CASTLE

MODEST revel was held that evening at the
Castle. Jim's mother erred so much on the
side of youth that Jim was disposed to blame her for
wearing her best gown. She knew as well as any-
body that she always did look young in her best gown,
almost to the point of impropriety. It had been ob-
tained in Paris for one thing, not very recently, it is
true, for Jim was then a gay and careless student at
L'Ecole des Beaux Arts; but, even at that time of
*^ day, the dressmakers of Paris were said to possess a
lightness of touch, a grace, and a felicity which made
for youth. In her heart, there is reason to believe,
Jim's mother considered her son to be unduly sensitive
upon the score of her appearance.

Caroline Crewkerne was moderately civil to Jim's
mother. But of course she wore a certain number
of airs, as she did invariably when she had to do with
persons of her own sex whom she did not consider to
be her equals socially. But perhaps there is no need
to blame her. The chameleon can change its spots,
but it is not really more respected than the leopard.
Caroline Crewkerne was three and seventy, and habit
was strong in her. She belonged to a period when
airs were more in vogue, when the world was not so

848

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE S49

democratic as it is in these days, when human destinies
were more unequal.

If Jim's mother was a little amused by the " grand
manner'* — and doubtless she was, because she had
seen something of Cosmopolis, and was therefore not
exactly a provincial — she was too good-natured and
too well bred to show it. But it is to be feared that
Jim resented it. He blamed himself for being fool
enough to come. Jim had at least one of the essen-
tials necessary to success in life. He was an excellent
hater. He hated well, and he hated heartily, and he
forgave with difficulty. And certainly he hated this
old woman and all her works.

A common and watchful friend in fine lawn and
pomatum stood a little apart to witness Caroline
Crewkeme offer two fingers and to witness Jim Las-
celles accept them. Jim got through the ordeal with-
out any real loss of credit, although his mother knew
that he was angry. However, there were compensa-
tions. George Betterton greeted the young fellow in
quite a hearty manner; Miss Burden beamed upon
him, and her appearance was singularly agreeable
with " a romantic tale on her eyelashes " ; while the
Miss Perrys, of course, were triumphs of female love-
liness. The elder of the twain, in her " play-acting
frock,'* as Aunt Caroline called it, and with her daf-
fodil-colored mane done low down in her neck in a
most remarkable simulation of the eighteenth cen-
tury, by the hand of the incomparable but exacting
Fanchettc, was enough to haunt any young painter
for many days to come. Muffin, too, with her bril-

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860 ARAMINTA

liant health and her open manners, with a coloring
only less wonderful than that of her sister, and with
a physique pure of line and of a spreading stalwart
symmetry, looked every inch of her a veritable
younger sister of the goddess. Fanchette had been
coaxed, perhaps by an inborn love of her art, to em-
bellish Muffin's yellow mane also with the hand of
her great talent, so that it also sat low down in her
neck in a fashion fit to inspire a sonnet. Muffin's
frock was of pure white — at least, it was of that hue
when it was first purchased. And although it was
cheap and countrified and by no means new, and it
was rent in three places, and was very short in the
sleeves and very tight all over, it really suited her to
perfection, as somehow everything did that she wore.

Lord Cheriton was delighted.

" Mrs. Lascelles," said he, at the first opportunity,
" what do you think of our Miss Gunnings? "

Jim's mother sighed a little.

" Perfectly distracting," said she. " And yet it
only seems yesterday that they were long-legged crea-
tures in short white socks."

By the dispensation of the powers George Better-
ton took in his hostess, Cheriton took in the wife of the
Vicar, the Vicar took in Mrs. Lascelles, Jim took in
Miss Burden, and the Miss Perrys took in one an-
other.

Jim Lascelles never remembered a meal that he
enjoyed less, except in after-years when — but we must
not overrun our story. For the greater part of the
conversation was confined to one theme, and the

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 851

theme was heroism. Cheriton claimed the respectful
indulgence of the table while Muffin furnished her
thrilling narrative with all the latest embellishments.
It is true that she suffered occasional contradiction
in the course of it from her muddle-headed but tena-
cious sister Goose, but her testimony remained sub-
stantially unshaken. Mr. James Lascelles was a hero,
no doubt about that.

When the dessert stage was reached, Cheriton
pledged Jim's health in felicitous terms and in some
excellent madeira. Jim responded with a vehement
denial of the charges brought against him.

" Why," said Cheriton, " the young fellow will
deny his genius next."

** Yes," said Jim's mother, ** he would, only he
knows it is no use."

After dinner there was music. Caroline Crewkerne
had an ingrained dislike of music which amounted to
destestation, but on this occasion it was permitted as
a concession to the Church. The Vicar's wife had a
light soprano voice, and sang very pleasantly, al-
though rather nervous at first. The Vicar's render-
ing of the " Bay of Biscay " was justly admired.
Jim's mother interpreted Chopin with such refinement
and delicacy that Caroline Crewkerne was able to get
a short nap. But quite one of the most admired
achievements of the eveniifg was George Betterton's
rendering of what he called his " one horse," a tech-
nical term which baffled everybody as to its meaning,
including Cheriton himself, that veritable encyclo-
pedia of human information.

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862 ARAMINTA

George Betterton's " one horse " was " We'll all go
a-hunting to-day," with chorus. This he rendered
with the most resolute disregard of time and tune,
and in the most dogged and sonorous manner. The
Vicar's wife accompanied him and finished three bars
in front of George, and so " won as she pleased," in
the judgment of Cheriton, who, in addition to his
other accomplishments, was a critic of the art of
music. However, Muffin and Jim Lascelles were
heard to such advantage in the chorus that there was
no doubt about its success. They were importuned
upon this revelation of their talent to sing a solo
apiece. They contrived to evade this penalty on the
plea that they had never sung in public before, al-
though Goose declared that Muffin had sung by her-
self twice in Slocum Magna parish church with great
distinction.

"But that wasn't in public," said MuflSn,
staunchly. ** Besides, it was after dearest papa had
preached his sermon."

" I am afraid, my dear Miss Muffin," said Cheriton,
** that the point is too subtle for the lay intelligence."

Although Muffin and Jim Lascelles were absolved
from singing solos, they were imable wholly to evade
the penalty incurred by the revelation or their gifts.
They were haled to the piano to sing a duet from
H.M.S, Pinafore; and made such a hopeless mess
of the performance that Jim's mother, to whom the
accompaniment was intrusted, took the extreme course
of closing the piano in the middle of it and retiring
in dudgeon.

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 858

A display of thought-reading concluded the pro-
ceedings. The Vicar's wife was a clairvoyante, noted
for miles around. Cheriton also confessed to powers
in this occult science. The Vicar's wife was only per-
mitted to perform one feat, because the Vicar de-
clared that if she attempted more than one in an
evening it excited her so much that she never slept
all night. The task allotted to her was that she
should take the ribbon from Fonto's neck and tie it
aroimd Goose's finger. The feat was performed with
such exemplary ease that MufSn felt sure that she
could do something. Her task was the elementary
one of giving Miss Burden a kiss. Instead of doing
this, however, she hugged Aunt Caroline. In the
opinion, however, of those best acquainted with these
mysteries, she was held to be so nearly right that her
reputation was established forthwith.

"Isn't it wonderful?" said Goose, with dilated
eyes. " I shall write to dearest papa about it. At
the next entertainment in Slocum Magna parish-room
MuflSn will have to do something."

" I think," said Jim's mother, " her powers as a
clairvoyante are superior to her powers as a canta-
trice."

MujBSn was showing a desire to give a further
display of her newly discovered talent, when Aunt
Caroline said it was half -past ten, and that Araminta
and Elizabeth must retire.

After saluting Aunt Caroline in a very dutiful
manner they obeyed this edict with most admirable
docility. It proved a signal for the general dispersal

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854 ARAMINTA

of the company. There is reason to believe that
Aunt Caroline intended that it should.

No sooner were the Vicar and his wife and Jim
Lascelles and his mother abroad in the rapt summer
stillness, and they were picking their way through
the tomblike darkness of the wood towards Pen-y-
Gros hamlet, than the inmates of the castle sat down
to the green table. Caroline Crewkeme yawned
vigorously. But her opponents did well not to mis-
interpret that action, because this old woman was
never known to sit down to cards without proving
herself to be more than usually wide awake.

" Caroline," said her oldest friend, " this is cer-
tainly one of the whitest days in all my recollection
of you. I can't say positively that you were genial,
but I feel that I am entitled to affirm that you got
through the evening without insulting anybody."

" The middle classes are so tiresome," said Caro-
line, cutting for the deal and winning it easily.

^^ The middle classes are almost extinct as a
genus," said Cheriton. " They have assimilated cul-
ture so rapidly since that fellow Arnold wrote to them
upon the subject that nowadays they are almost as
extinct as the dodo."

" Pshaw ! " said Caroline, carefully sorting a hand
that contained four aces and three kings. " It is only
skin deep. Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton. I declare
no trumps."

" I shall not double," said Cheriton, who found
himself in possession of a " Yarborough."

In a very short space of time, Cheriton and Miss

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 855

Burden had suffered the indignity of the " grand
slam/'

" Well played, partner," said George, as soon as
he woke up.

There can be really no question at all that few
persons could have played their cards better than
Caroline Crewkerne, when that old woman found her-
self with a good hand. And few persons found them-
selves oftener in that enviable position than did she.
Certainly this evening she surpassed herself. It is
true that the cards came her way in the most sur-
prising fashion. But she utilized them to the full;
and further, she took advantage of the mistakes of
her principal adversary.

It was not often that Cheriton was guilty of fla-
grant errors, but on this occasion he certainly held
bad cards, and to these he added unmistakably infe-
rior play. He forgot important cards constantly;
and twice at a critical moment he revoked. Caroline
was in the highest glee. Everything went right for
her ; and the sum she won from Cheriton it would not
be wise or right to diviJge, lest it shock the less afflu-
ent among our readers. It was not really enough
** to endow a hospital for the incurably insane," as
Cheriton declared it was, but it certainly enabled the
lucky Caroline to contemplate the purchase of a few
of those Westralians which she had coveted for some
time past.

Happily neither Miss Burden nor George Betterton
could afford to play for money; the former because
her salary of forty pounds per annum was her only

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856 ARAMINTA

means of subsistence; the latter because his high
rank rendered it necessary that in all respects his
life should be a pattern to his admiring countrymen.
We have no desire to lower a very worthy man in the
public estimation, but this desire for respectability
did not prevent his losing continually at piquet to
Caroline Crewkeme. But then piquet is not like
bridge. The one is old and of good report ; the other
is new and plutocratic.

A little after midnight Greorge Betterton retired in
earnest to his virtuous repose, while Miss Burden
followed his example. And no sooner had the hostess
and her old friend the field to themselves than they
reverted to the topic of the previous night. The
matter had been left in an interesting stage. Cher-
iton felt it to be a hopeful one. He was sure that he
had no serious rival to contend against, for George
with all his flourishes was sure to end by marrying
Priscilla. The Georges of this world invariably
marry the PrisciUas.

" I am willing to tie three thousand a year upon
the creature," said Cheriton. His tone was not ex-
actly that of an auctioneer, although his standard of
wisdom rendered it necessary that he should always
suit his discourse to his company. " Upon the con-
dition, my dear Caroline, that you tie an equal sum
upon her. And there is also a living in my gift worth
eleven hundred a year which is likely to be vacant."

So much for the terms. Caroline Crewkeme
pondered them well. She was a shrewd, covetous,
hard-headed, hard-hearted old woman. But if she

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 357

took a thing in hand she carried it through. And
she had determined to do something for her dead and
disgraced sister's portionless daughter. Up to a
point she was able to plume herself upon the success
of the negotiations. What she did not like was the
sacrifice of some of her own money. It would not
make the least difference to her. She had more al-
ready than she knew what to do with, but to part with
her substance always hurt her.

" We will say fifteen hundred, Cheriton, and call it
settled," said Caroline with the air of a money-lender.

Her old friend frankly enjoyed the situation. He
knew where the shoe pinched as well as she did. Her
craft and her avarice reminded him of Balzac's
novels.

" If you say fifteen hundred, my dear Caroline,"
said her old friend, " I must say fifteen hundred
too."

Caroline pondered again. Cheriton was not a
good life, and nearly everything was entailed.

"Three thousand a year in perpetuity? " said
Caroline, harshly.

" Ye-es," said Cheriton. " Dooced liberal, I think,
for a poor parson's daughter."

Caroline bristled. She looked not only prickly but
venomous.

" Don't forget, Cheriton," she said truculently,
** that the creature is a Wargrave."

" An effete strain, there is reason to fear," said
Cheriton with perfect composure.

The head-dress performed surprising feats. Cher-

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868 ARAMINTA

iton fell to considerations of how far it might be safe
to bait the old lioness. No sport is worth much with-
out there is a spice of danger in it. He enjoyed the
play none the less because he was so sensible of its
peril. Caroline Crewkeme was not a person to be
baited with impunity.

However, in spite of the head-dress and the gleams
of red that flashed from the ruthless orbs beneath it,
he was able to assume an aspect of excellent indiffer-
ence. The finished duplicity may not have deceived
his old friend or it may have done so. At least the
old lioness grew more couchant in her aspect. But
the mouth was as resolute in its sarcasm as ever.

" Well, Caroline," said Cheriton, amiably, " let us
settle the thing one way or the other. It is becoming
tedious."

Perhaps Caroline thought so too. Or perhaps she
thought she had made a reasonably good bargain, all
things considered, and that she was not likely to do
better. For there came a further accession of scorn
to the grim old countenance, and for a moment the
head-dress ceased its immodest gyrations.

^^ Take the girl and be damned," said Caroline
Crewkeme.

Cheriton bowed with ironical politeness. He had
got his way, not of course that there was anything
surprising in that. He had had it so often. Still
there was a certain satisfaction in it, for it always
seems a part of the essential fitness of things that one
should get one's way, no matter how much one is
accustomed to getting it. He was also a little inclined

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 869

to plume himself, as was too often the case with him,
on his diplomacy. It was reaUy an achievement to
screw a cool three thousand a year out of the most
avaricious old woman in England. Yet it may have
been that he had only inserted that clause into the
negotiations to give them a further spice. It had
enabled him to pose as the prophet of justice, liber-
ality, and other delectable things. He had never cared
greatly about money, but that was no reason why he
should not bait those who did care greatly about it
when he was in need of a little private relaxation.

Cheriton went to bed and slept the sleep of the
just. By the exercise of his talents he had got a
charming countess on liberal terms. How the young
fellows would envy him! His affectation of youth
would now lose its point. Upon the day he married
his young goddess he would resume his natural age,
which was sixty-five. In his mind's eye he could see
himself walking down the aisle on the happy occasion
with, all the gravity of a pillar of the Government,
of one eminent in council, looking if anything rather
more than his years in order to score off the rising
generation.

" He is so old, my dear ! " he could hear the buzz
of tongues. Yes, so old; what had happened to
Youth and its vaunted pretensions?

Caroline Crewkeme went to bed, and she slept the
sleep of the just also. All the same there is really
no reason why she should have done so. For there
was precious little justice in that old woman. She
was well satisfied that she had won at cards, but in

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860 ARAMINTA

the matter of her niece she had a very decided feeling
that that man Cheriton had overreached her. The
clause of the three thousand pounds per annum took
a good deal of the gilt off the gingerbread. With-
out that clause there would have been a certain
amount of gilt upon it.

Cheriton, for all his coxcombry, was a pretty con-
siderable parti, at whom the arrows of the worldly
had been aimed for two generations. But in Caro-
line's own phrase, " Cheriton was no fool." In spite
of his vanity and his fribbling he knew his way about
the world. He was a cool hand. He marked his
quarry and pursued it at his leisure, in his own im-
personal and peculiar way, and never once had he
been caught napping. Great would be the applause
and the merriment when it became bruited about that
this astute bird had actually been limed by the old
fowler of Hill Street. And after all nobody need
know about that three thousand pounds per anniun.

Therefore both parties to this transaction slept
the sleep of the just, and next morning had breakfast
in their rooms. At half-past five a.m. the uncon-
scious object of their negotiations was haled out of
bed by her sister Muffin. And as the descent to the
floor did not arouse her, she was beaten about the
head with a pillow until that object had been at-
tained. They spent incomparable hours among the
dew on the slopes of Gwydr and his brethren. Jim
Lascelles was with them. He piloted them among
the rocks, and was of course prepared to save their
lives if necessary.

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 861

These were indeed golden and enchanted hours.
For all her slowness of speech and action the Groose
Girl had a certain animation and inward fire when in
her true Slocum Magna form. Little of it had been
seen in Hill Street, for amid that rather dismal
splendor she was a bird in a cage. But now with
the freedom of the mountains conferred upon her,
with Jim upon one hand and Muffin upon the other,
existence was a carol. The old glories of the Red
House at Widdif ord were revived.

These joys continued during a number of glorious
and golden days. Cheriton, secure in his prize, was
in no hurry to impale his butterfly. She was a charm-
ing picture, and he would claim her at his leisure.
In the meantime let her garner up a store of health
and vigor upon the mountains in the society of her
peers. For, truth to tell, the bridegroom-elect was
apt to get fatigued rather easily, and it was really
more satisfying to share a red umbrella with an in-
tellectual equal and to discuss the French writers be-
side the lake.

Therefore, with that humane wisdom which dis-
tinguished him above other men, Cheriton was con-
tent that each of them should continue in their para-
dise as long as it could possibly endure. Things were
going very well as they were. Why disturb them?
The prize was secure. Caroline Crewkeme had given
her sanction and had written to her lawyer upon the
subject. There was really no more to be said. Why
imperil the perfect harmony of the passing hour.?
All in good season; when there were no mountains,

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862 ARAMINTA

no lakes, no cloudless August skies, no red umbrellas,
no green frocks, no singularly companionable, culti-
vated, and agreeable students of the best French
literature, would be the time to speak of love.

Yes, Cheriton was a cool hand. Indeed, so much
so that Caroline Crewkerne was a little inclined to
doubt his bona fides.

** I have not seen the creature in tears yet," said
she three days after that memorable night in which
the compact was made.

" Do not let us commit the indiscretion, my dear
CaroUne," said the happy wooer, in his most musical
manner, " of acting prematurely. I have always
been a believer in laiaaez fcdre. If things are going
obviously right, why disturb them? The creature
rejoices like a lark in her youth, her companions, and
. her mountains. I am too old for mountains myself.
But do not let us curtail her happiness by a single
hour. And, upon my word, she seems to grow more
glorious every time I look at her."

" Humph ! " said Caroline Crewkerne.

She was too wise to say anything else.

" Let us do nothing, my dear Caroline," said the
happy wooer, " to impede the spontaneous acquisi-
tion of health, vigor, gayety, and flowerlike simplic-
ity. Upon my word, the bracing climate of the
Welsh mountains has given her a fire and a gladness
and natural spontaneity which I do not think even
Borrow himself could wholly account for. It does
one good to sit apart and see it grow."

" Cheriton," said Caroline Crewkerne, " if I had

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REVEL HELD AT PEN-Y-GROS CASTLE 863

not the best of reasons to know the contrary I should
think you were a fool."

" I am very happy to be one just now," said he,
" in the cause of youth."

" You were always a coxcomb," said his unsparing
critic, ** and I quite expect that one of these days you
will have to pay a price for it. In my opinion it is
quite time the creature began to shed a few tears."

" No, no, Caroline. Let us have the common
humanity to give her the undiluted joy of her
mountains as long as we can."

Caroline shook her worldly wise old head. She
grew very thoughtful indeed. There was the ques-
tion of the red umbrella. But she did not alarm her-
self. Cheriton had played that game so often.

The days passed merrily. It was a perfect time,
with hardly more than the suspicion of a cloud about
the noble head of Gwydr. And as the waters of Lake
Dwygy preserved their seductive and delicious cool-
ness it is not to be wondered at that the picture of
the naiad made great progress.

There was no doubt about the wonderful increase
of power that had come to Jim Lascelles. Having
given his days to the painting of the Goose Girl and
his nights to thoughts of her, this expenditure of
spirit was now manifesting itself in his brush. The
naiad bade fair to be a brilliantly poetic composition,
whose color had that harmonious daring that had
given Monsieur Gillet an European fame. The frank
treatment of the naiad's blue eyes and yellow hair,
which had made the portrait of her sister so won-

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864 ARAMINTA

derful, were here adjusted to the majestic scheme of
Dwygy's blue waters, and Gwydr's brown slopes
crowned with a golden haze, with here and there a
black patch of the woods about Pen-y-Gros. Cher-
iton, who among his other recommendations was a
trustee of the National Gallery, ministered to the
pride of the painter's mother by his outspoken praise
of what he considered to be a signal work of art.

The August sunshine, however, cannot last for
ever. And at last, as MufBn's second triumphant
fortnight was nearing its close, the clouds gathered
about Gwydr and his brethren, and the woods of Pen-
y-Gros were drenched with a sopping mist. This
presently turned to a downpour of rain which lasted
a day and a night, and in that period something
happened.

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CHAPTER XXVm

A THUNDERBOLT

WHILE the rain was beating with monotonous
persistence upon the oriel windows of Pen-
y-Gros Castle, Araminta was summoned to Aunt
Caroline's boudoir. So little did that artless being
suspect calamity that she obeyed the summons joy-
fully, because she felt convinced that Aunt Caroline
was to confer with her as to whether Muffin would
like to stay still longer. But it proved to be some-
thing else.

Aunt Caroline was looking very bleak and formi-
dable, and Lord Cheriton, who was present also, had
never seemed so much like a parent, so benevolently
unbending was his manner.

" Girl," said Aunt Caroline — she very seldom ad-
dressed Araminta in any other style than " Girl " —
" sit there and try not to behave foolishly. I am
going to speak about your future."

So little was Araminta preoccupied with things in
general that she hardly knew that she had such a
thing as a future. However, with her usual docility,
she sat upon the chair that Aunt Caroline had indi-
cated, and proceeded to give her best attention to
her august relation.

365

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866 ARAMINTA

"I will be brief," said Aunt Caroline, with an
extremely businesslike air. " My old friend Lord
Cheriton has been good enough to take an interest in
you, and if you are a good girl he will marry you.
You have no objection, I presume? '*

It was clear by Aunt Caroline's tone that she
merely asked the last question as a matter of form.
But that brisk old worldling went a little too quickly
for her niece Araminta, who was really a very slow-
witted creature. Some little time had to pass before
she could accept the purport of Aunt Caroline's an-
nouncement. And when at last she was able to do
so it Uterally took away her breath.

Aunt CaroUne allowed the creature quite thirty
seconds in which to reply. No reply being forthcom-
ing in that space of time, she proceeded to address
her as though she were a prisoner at the bar.

" Well, girl," said Aunt Caroline, " what have you
to say.? "

Araminta had nothing to say apparently. But
from the uppermost forehead to the depths of the
neck, a slowly deepening wave of scarlet was spread-
ing over the whole surface of her frank and vividly,
colored countenance.

"Humph!" said Aunt Caroline; "no objection
apparently." She then addressed a third person very
succinctly. " Cheriton," said she, " I congratulate
you. You are not everybody's choice, and I must
confess to some surprise that no objection has been
urged. That is the Wargrave in her, I dare say.
The Wargraves have always known how to accept

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A THUNDERBOLT 867

the inevitable. They have often gone to the scaffold
rather than make a pother."

** Family pride again, my dear Caroline,'' said
Cheriton, in a voice of honey. " Still, in the cir-
cumstances, perhaps a sUght display of it is pardon-
able. History is not my strong point, but I seem to
remember that between the age of Edward VI. and
the age of Victoria the Wargraves went oftener to
the scaffold than anywhere else. To a layman that
always appears to be one of the baiHing points about
the pride of old families. If we go back far enough
we generally find that a lawyer who was too astute
to be honest estabUshed their fortunes; or a fellow
who managed to cheat the troops in Flanders of their
food and clothing."

** Don't be a coxcomb, Cheriton," said Caroline,
sharply. " Remember my niece. I shall expect you
to be good to her. Fortunately for herself she has
no brains, but she esits well and sleeps well, she is
quite healthy in every respect, and her disposition is
affectionate."

" Our dear Miss Groose is perfectly charming,"
said Cheriton, ogUng Miss Perry, who by this time
was trembUng violently, and who sat in solemn scar-
let consternation. " I am the proudest man in Eng-
land."

Caroline Crewkeme raised a finger.

" You have said enough, Cheriton," said she. ** I
have my own opinion about the transaction, but I am
inclined to think the creature might have done worse.
You can go now, girl. Don't mention this matter

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868 ARAMINTA

to your sister until you have my permission to
do so."

Miss Perry rose with her usual docility, but in her
countenance was an ever-deepening scarlet. She moved
slowly and heavily to the door of the boudoir without
speaking a word, either to her axmt or to Lord Cher-
iton. Her hand was already upon the door when she
turned round and faced the former. The blue eyes
were full of dismay.

" If you please, Aunt Caroline,'' she drawled in
her ridiculous manner, ^^I don't quite think I can
marry Lord Cheriton."

The old woman sat up in her chair in the manner
of a Lord Chief Justice who has been confronted with
a flagrant contempt of court.

** What do you mean, girl? " said she. " You
don't quite think you can marry Lord Cheriton.
Explain your meaning."

In the most favorable circumstances it was never
very easy for Miss Perry to explain her meaning. In
these she seemed to find considerable difficulty in
doing so. Aunt Caroline gave her exactly thirty
seconds, but Miss Perry required longer than
that.

" Speak, girl," said Aunt Caroline. " Are you
dumb?"

Miss Perry was not dumb, but speech had never
been so tardy.

" Girl, will you have the goodness to explain,"
said the old lady, " why you are not quite able to
marry Lord Cheriton? "

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A THUNDERBOLT 869

At last Miss Perry was able to furnish the re-
quired explanation.

" If you please, Aunt Caroline," she drawled
ridiculously, " I have p-r-r-romised to marry Jim."

The old lady's ebony walking-stick fell to the
groimd so peremptorily that Ponto was disturbed in
his slumbers.

" Jim ! " said Aunt Caroline. ** Who, pray, is
Jim?"

" Jim Lascelles," said Miss Perry.

" I presume you mean the painting man," said
Aunt Caroline.

" Yes," said Miss Perry.

There was a pause in which Cheriton and his old
friend looked at one another long and particularly.

" Hand me my stick, girl," said Aunt Caroline.

Miss Perry did as she was desired. Her manner
of doing it seemed to imply that she expected to
receive physical correction.

" Sit down, girl," said Aunt Caroline.

Miss Perry resumed her chair, doubtless with an
emotion of thankfulness upon her narrow escape.

" I could not have believed it to be possible," said
Aunt Caroline, speaking very slowly, " that a War-
grave could have been so imprudent, so imgrateful,
so entirely lacking in self-respect."

This indictment was delivered in the most deliber-
ate and crushing manner ; but a good deal of the ef-
fect was marred because Cheriton laughed outright
in the middle of it. Aimt Caroline, however, pre-
sented a haughty indifference to the behavior of the

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870 ARAMINTA

husband-dect, who, of course, was not himself a War-
grave, and whose behavior in this crisis showed that
fact clearly.

" Are you mad, girl? " said the old lady. " Answer
me."

" Jim is awfully nice," drawled Miss Perry.

The ebony walking-stick and the head-dress per-
formed a concerted piece together which filled Ponto
with consternation.

" The creature must be a natural."

Miss Perry grew bolder, however, as the clear con-
viction that she was pledged to Jim Lascelles took a
firmer hold upon her.

" We shall not marry just yet, don't you know,"
said Miss Perry, with the air of one who imparts
valuable information. " But Jim is going to get rich
so that he can buy back the Red House at Widdif ord,
and then we are going to live in it, and it will be too
sweet."

Aunt Caroline having grown incoherent with
legitimate anger it devolved upon Cheriton to say
something.

" Capital ! " said he, in a most benevolent manner.

This expression of opinion helped Caroline Crew-
kerne through her crisis.

" You inconceivably foolish girl," said she. " Have
you no sense of decency ? "

" Muffin has p-r-r-romised to wear her mauve at
the wedding," drawled Miss Perry.

Had not the husband-elect blown his nose very
vigorously there is reason to fear that he would

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A THUNDERBOLT 871

again have been guilty of conduct unlike that of a
Wargrave.

" Silence, girl ! " said Aunt Caroline. " Don't
speak another word until you have permission. This
comes of crossing the breed. Now listen to me. The
sooner you remove the man Lascelles from that incon-
ceivably foolish and demoralized head of yours the
better it will be for you. Where is your self-respect?
Where is your sense of decency? ''

" Muffin " said Miss Perry, but she got no

farther because an imperious finger stayed her.

" Don't speak," said Aunt Caroline. " Simply
listen. Dismiss the man Lascelles from your mind,
and try to remember who you are, and where you
are, and what you are saying. My old friend Lord
Cheriton desires to marry you. Understand that
clearly. And he has my permission to do so. Un-
derstand that clearly also. Now you may say some-
thing."

Miss Perry took advantage of this gracious per-
mission to turn to Lord Cheriton with a charmingly
friendly smile upon her scarlet countenance.

** It is so dear of you. Lord Cheriton," she said,
** and if I were not going to marry Jim I would marry
you. Perhaps Muffin ^"

Aunt Caroline affronted the nerves of Ponto by
rapping sharply with her stick upon the floor.

" You have said sufficient," said she. " Dismiss
the man Lascelles from your mind once and for all.
You are going to marry Lord Cheriton. Is that quite
clear?"

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87« ARAMINTA

Apparently this was not quite so clear to Miss
Perry ai§ it was to Aunt Caroline. For that Feather-
brain opened her eyes so widely that they seemed to
acquire the color of violets, and a look of sheer per-
plexity settled upon her frank countenance.

" But if you don't mind, dearest Aunt Caroline,"
said she, " I p-r-r-romised to marry Jim."

Aunt Caroline began to storm.

" Is the girl a dolt ! " she cried. " Has she no
brains at all ! Girl, have the goodness to listen once
more. Your father, your brothers, and your sisters
are all poor as mice, are they not? "

" Yes, dearest Aunt Caroline," said Miss Perry,
quite simply.

" Very good. Now heed this carefully. By the
terms of your marriage settlement, which I may say
I have been able to arrange not without difficulty,
you will become a countess with six thousand a year in
your own right, with a house to live in, and your
father or one of your brothers will have the reversion
of a living worth eleven hundred a year which is in
Lord Cheriton's gift. Now have you the intelligence
to comprehend all that I have said to you? "

Apparently Miss Perry had. Doubtless her un-
derstanding was a slow moving and cumbrous mech-
anism which generally found infinite difficulty in
assimilating the most obvious facts ; but it was very
difficult for the most obtuse person to misunderstand
Caroline Crewkerne. Slowly but surely her hard lu-
cidity percolated to the recesses of Miss Perry's
mind ; and just as slowly and as surely as it did, large

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A THUNDERBOLT 878

solemn tears welled into the eyes that had deepened
to the color of violets. They rolled in ridiculous pro-
cession down the crimson cheeks.

Neither Caroline Crewkeme nor Cheriton was
affected easily, but there was something in the solemn
slow-drawn emotion of Miss Perry that imposed
silence upon them. The silence that ensued was un-
comfortable and by tacit consent it was left to Miss
Perry herself to terminate it.

" It is so dear of you both," she said, " to be so
good to me. I shall write to dearest papa about you,
but I p-r-r-romised Jim."

Aunt Caroline snorted.

" And what do you suppose your father will say
to you, you simpleton," said she, " when he learns
what you have done? Now take my advice. Send the
man Lascelles to me. I will deal with him. And
then you must prepare to marry Lord Cheriton some
time in October."

But Miss Perry sat the picture of woe. It is true
that in the opinion of Cheriton she sat a perfectly
enchanting picture of it ; yet at the same time it gave
him no particular pleasure to observe that the absurd
creature was shedding real tears, tears which* some-
how seemed almost majestic in their simple sincerity.

Miss Perry was dismissed with strict instructions
not to mention the subject to anyone.

" What a creature ! " said Caroline Crewkerne,
when the door had closed upon her niece.

She contented herself with that expression. As
for Cheriton, he gave an amused shrug and said

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874 ARAMINTA

nothing. For all his nonchalance perhaps he could
not help feeling that he had been tempting Provi-
dence. Yet so ingrained was his habit of cynicism
that it may not have occurred to him that he had
anything to fear from Jim Lascelles. The young
fellow had not a shilling in the world ; he had a good
head on his shoulders; and he had been brought up
properly. That in such circumstances he should
have taken the unpardonable liberty of offering to
marry Caroline Crewkerne's niece was totally at
variance with his knowledge of the world, and of
human nature as he understood it.

Caroline Crewkerne was the first to speak.

" Cheriton," said she, " we are both of us old
enough to know better. In the first place, you ought
not to have brought that man to Hill Street ; and in
the second, I ought not to have allowed him to enter
the house. However, the mischief is done. We must
now take steps to repair it.'*

" I shall be interested, my dear Caroline," said
Cheriton, in his most agreeable manner, " to learn
what the steps are you propose to take.'*

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CHAPTER XXIX

•rai IiASCELIiES WEITES HIS NAME IN THE VISITOES'
BOOK

THE husband-elect felt a perfectly legitimate
curiosity concerning the course to be adopted
in this crisis by this eminently worldly wise, hard-
headed, and matter-of-fact diplomatist.

*^ Do you assure me positively that the man is a
gentleman? " said Caroline Crewkeme.

Cheriton ruminated. The term, as he understood
it and as Caroline interpreted it, was of a somewhat
baffing complexity.

** Ye-es," said he, after an interval of unusually
weighty reflection ; " I should be inclined to say the
young chap was by way of being one."

" As that is your opinion," said Caroline, grimly,
** I shall speak a few words to him myself upon the
subject."

Cheriton gave this determination the benefit of an
ample measure of his consideration.

" My dear Caroline," said he, " it is either the
worst thing you can do, or it is the best."

** I agree with you, Cheriton," said Caroline Crew-
keme. ^^ And it all depends upon the man himself.
Tell Burden to look him up in Waif ord."

875

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876 ARAMINTA

Walford preserved so much discretion upon the
subject of Jim Lascelles that, although several of his
name were mentioned, neither he nor his forbears were
singled out for special notice. The practical Caro-
line, having duly recorded the fact that " it was as
she feared," desired to know whether Walford had
anything to say upon the subject of his mother.
However, as no one at Pen-y-Gros Castle was
acquainted with the maiden name of Jim's mother,
Caroline's curiosity in regard to her also had to go
unsatisfied. Nevertheless, she had fully decided to
speak to the presumptuous young man upon the sub-
ject.

To that end John was dispatched after dinner
that evening to the lodgings of Mr. James Lascelles
in Pen-y-Gros hamlet with the compliments of his
mistress and the request that Mr. Lascelles would call
at the Castle at noon on the morrow.

Mr. Lascelles sent back the information that he
would be pleased to do so. Yet no sooner had the
gate of the cottage clicked behind the emissary from
the Castle than he repented, and it was only in defer-
ence to the wisdom of his mother that John was not
recalled.

Jim's mother shook her head over him with sage
indulgence.

" When will you learn, my son," said she, " that
old ladies who live in Hill Street must be treated
€m grcmd serieux by rising young painters who live
atBalham?"

" Yes, old lady, I suppose so," said Jim, ruefully.

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JIM LASCELLES WRITES HIS NAME 877

'* And if one James Lascelles is ever to find the where-
withal to get back the Red House at Widdiford, he
will have to learn to keep his tongue in his cheek and
his back supple ; and also learn how to stroke the fur
of every old cat that ever stuck somebody else's
coronet upon the panel of her carriage."

" For shame, my son ! " said Jim's mother.

And she bestowed an embrace upon James which
he really did not deserve.

Jim's powers of resentment were unchristian and
did him no credit, but perhaps he would have shown
less promise in his art had he been less susceptible to
the rubs of the world. That is the best that can be
said for him.

However, as the morning was wet, he did not mind
so much that he was due at Pen-y-Gros Castle at
noon. He put on his carefully brushed blue suit and
the black-silk tie that his mother had knitted for him
recently with her own fair hands, and at twelve
o'clock precisely he was seeking admittance at the
gloomy portals. As he did so he looked in vain for
signs of the Groose Girl and the Muffin Girl. He
could not help speculating as to what the old heathen
wanted him for. Nothing pleasant, he would take
his oath. Doubtless the Goose had blabbed. If so, a
warm quarter of an hour was before him. Yet he
felt that he should not mind that particularly. After
all, the old beldame was quite likely to receive as
good as she gave.

John received him, and handed him over to Mr.
Marchbanks himself, who said, "Will you kindly

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878 ARAMINTA

come this way, sir?" in the maimer that he alone
could say it.

Jim followed Mr. M archbanks, after bestowing a
somewhat contemptuous glance at a daub in the
entrance hall which purported to be the work of one
Tintoret. A little further along, however, was a
Cavalier by Vandyck, which was more to his taste.
He glanced at the furniture also, which in its way
was magnificent. It was of embossed Spanish leather.
At the head of the wide stone-fiagged staircase up
which he was conducted, was a portiire of Gk>belin
tapestry. Passing through this, he was taken along
a corridor containing good pictures and bad,
and mediaeval weapons and suits of armor, xmtil at
last he found himself in an extremely cozy room con-
taining seductive lounges and strewn with Turkish
mats. And there, seated alone and singularly up-
right in a high-backed chair, with a perfectly re-
volting little dog sleeping at her footstool, was the
old woman Jim Lascelles so cordially disHked.

Jim was a little surprised that the old woman
deigned to offer not two fingers only, but the whole
of her hand.

** What is in the wind, I wonder? " mused Jim, as
he accepted it with his best bow.

" It is good of you to come, Mr. Lascelles," said
the old woman, by no means ungraciously. Remember
there never was an old woman yet who could not con-
trive to be agreeable if she really made up her mind
to be so. And Caroline Crewkeme was no exception
to the universal rule. " Pray be seated," said she.

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JIM LASCELLES WRITES HIS NAME 879

Jim Lascelles took the chair that was farthest
from her ladyship.

The old woman was very concise, matter-of-fact,
and businesslike. She spoke slowly, she enunciated
her words with beautiful clearness ; in short, she was
'a model of what you would expect her to be. She
was all compact of hard-headed, clear-cut, practical
sagacity.

" I wish to speak to you upon an important sub-
ject," she began. " It has come to my knowledge that
you have been paying your addresses to my niece.
Miss Perry."

Jim Lascelles was prepared for the speech in its
substance, but its calm, matter-of-fact, non-commit-
tal air was bafiling to him.

" In a sense. Lady Crewkenle, that is correct,"
said Jim.

The old woman nodded, not imamiably, however.

** It is a matter of regret to me that you should
have done so," said she. " It is likely to be of grave
prejudice to my niece."

" I am indeed sorry to learn that," said Jim, with
excellent gravity.

" I will explain. My niece is a penniless girl, and
I am given to understand, Mr. Lascelles, that you are
yourself a young professional man with your way to
make in the world."

" Your information is correct. Lady Crewkeme,"
said Jim, who was sufficiently impartial to admire
the old woman's statesmanlike plainness.

" That being the case," she proceeded, ** a union

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880 ARAMINTA

between you is undesirable from my niece's point of
view, and also from your own.'*

" I hope I am not entirely without prospects, Lady
Crewkeme," said Jim, who, however, did not mention
his prospects with any great depth of conviction.

" They belong to the future," said the old woman.
" They will take time to materialize. I prefer to deal
with the present."

** Miss Perry and I had not contemplated marriage
just at present," said Jim.

" Quite so," said the aunt of Miss Perry. " It is
sensible of you both not to do so."

The old woman's tone was devoid of irony, but the
absence of it merely seemed to heighten the amount
there was in her aspect of that undesirable quality.
Jim thought he had never seen a human countenance
that he liked so little.

" What I wish to point out to you," the old
woman went on, " is that my niece has lately received
an offer of marriage from a person who has excellent
credentials."

From the first Jim had been expecting some such
thunderbolt. Therefore he contrived to maintain his
pose of scrupulously polite attention.

" As far as Miss Perry's well-being is concerned, I
am glad to know that. Lady Crewkerne," said Jim,
with an urbanity that did him great credit. '* As far
as my own is concerned, I deplore it."

" The offer of marriage my niece has received,"
said the old woman, " is of such a character that
those who have her welfare at heart feel very strongly

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JIM LASCELLES WRITES HIS NAME 881

that she is bound to entertain it. Not only will it
give her an assured position socially, but also it will
establish the fortunes of her family, which, as you are
doubtless aware, are at a low ebb."

Jim gave a Uttle nod to assure the old woman that
he was not unacquainted with the fortunes of Miss
Perry's family.

" In these circumstances, Mr. Lascelles," said she,
briefly, " I think your course is clear."

Jim, however, assumed an air of perplexity.

" I wish. Lady Crewkeme," said he, " that I shared
your opinion."

The old woman showed no acerbity.

" Have the goodness, Mr. Lascelles," said she, " to
examine the matter in a rational light, from the point
of view of a man of the world."

A short period was conceded to Jim Lascelles for
the purpose of doing so.

** I suppose, Lady Crewkeme," said Jim, at the
termination of the period, " you wish me to give her
up?"

" I do," said the old woman.

Jim pondered a little. It was not very easy to give
up the Groose Girl. But this uncompromising old
heathen in her great head-dress, and installed in her
state chair of embossed Spanish leather, had shown
him his duty. And she had used the fewest possible
words in contriving it.

"Your duty is perfectly obvious to my mind,
Mr. Lascelles," said she, after a full minute of silence
had passed.

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882 ARAMINTA

" Ye-es," said Jim, drawing in his breath ; " doubt-
less that is so."

Jim Lascelles took another minute to see if there
was any way possible of circmnventing his obvious
duty. And then he rose from his chair.

** Lady Crewkeme," said he, " to-morrow my
mother and I will leave the neighborhood. We thank
you very much for the hospitality you have shown
us.''

Jim bowed gravely, and prepared to take his leave
with the air of one who has performed a dignified
action.

" Thank you, Mr, Lascelles," said the old woman,
upon a note of veiled sarcasm, which yet was not so
unpleasant as it might have been. ^^ I am obliged to
you. I shall be glad if you will write your name in
the visitors* book."

In this fashion the audience terminated with a
display of dignity upon both sides. Of course it was
proper and natural that it should be conducted in
this manner, considering where it was held. So much
was clearly demanded by every detail of its surround-
ings. And in the hall Mr. Lascelles wrote his name
in the visitors' book immediately below that of George
Betterton, who had left Pen-y-Gros Castle the previ-
ous week.

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CHAPTER XXX

GOOD-BY

BEFORE breakfast next morning Jim Lascelles
said good-by to the Goose Girl on the slopes of
Gwydr. It was an overwhelming day for that slow-
witted, but tenaciously affectionate, creature. Muffin
was leaving also by the eleven-o'clock train.

The eyes of Miss Perry were heavy with the tears
she had wept, and with the tears she had still to
weep. Prior to this tragic morning Jim Lascelles
had not spoken to her upon the subject of Lord
Cheriton, but the ruthless Aunt Caroline had very
unceremoniously imbued her with a sense of duty. All
too soon the golden age had ended. Somehow she
felt that she would never climb the mountains again.

In obedience to Aunt Caroline's injunction she had
told Muffin nothing of the tragedy. That practical-
minded person and uncommonly sound sleeper had
been awakened six times during the night by Goose's
low sobs and convulsive caresses. On each occasion
she had given Gk)ose a hug in return, and told her
not to be silly, and had immediately gone to sleep
again.

When daylight came and Muffin discovered her
sister's pink-and-white coimtenance to be puckered

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884 ARAMINTA

with distress, that acute intelligence at once sought
the remedy.

" I will stay with Aunt Caroline," said Muffin, " if
she will have me, and you shaU go back, Groose dar-
ling, to Slocum Magna to dearest papa. But if you
do, you must promise to feed my rabbits, because
Milly always forgets them. Now wipe your eyes,
and don't be a silly."

Goose promised to feed the rabbits if she went back
to Slocum Magna, but she felt sure that Aunt Caro-
line would not like her to.

Up till the departure of the eleven-o'clock train
Araminta put forth great efforts to be brave ; but she
had had such little practice in the art, dwing to hav-
ing lived a life for the most part where little bravery
was called for, that she did not whoUy succeed. How-
ever, when she saw Jim Lascelles striding towards
them over the mountains at a quarter past six, in re-
sponse to his cheery, " Hallo, you there ! " she con-
trived to greet him in something of the true Widdi-
ford manner.

In the opinion of Jim Lascelles, the first thing
necessary was to get rid of Muffin for an hour.
And this was quite easy, for the devotion of that
practical mind to the fauna and flora of the neigh-
borhood often caused her to spend an hour in the
investigation of a dozen square yards of the Welsh
principality.

Upon this fateful morning less than a third of
Gwydr had been ascended when a profusion of rare
ferns and mosses claimed Muffin's attention. Jim

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GOOD-BY 886

Lascelles walked forward briskly, with his hand
firmly holding the docile sleeve of the Goose Girl.

'* Come on/' said Jim, with an affection of gayety
that was most honorable to him. " Let us leave that
Ragamuffin. In she goes, over her ankles into the
mud. Tom a great piece out of her skirt on a
brier. By the way, Gk)ose Girl, has Aunt Carohne
said anything to you upon the subject of Lord
Cherit<Mi?''

Mournfully enough the Goose Girl confessed that
Aunt Caroline had.

** Well, you must buck up, you know," said Jim,
cheerily. " You are going to be a coimtess, and the
family of Wakefield — Slocum Magna, I mean — ^will
come again into its own."

Miss Perry's only reply was to break forth into a
succession of slow-drawn sobs, which were so heavy
and majestic that Jim declared they shook the moun-
tain.

" Here is a dry place," said he. ** Let us sit down
before you do some damage to the scenery."

They sat down together upon Gwydr, with the
chill mists enfolding them. For twenty minutes the
Goose Girl said nothing, but merely sobbed to herself
slowly and softly with the daffodil-colored mane
pressed against Jim's shoulder. Such depth and
power had the Goose GirPs emotion that it reaUy
seemed to Jim Lascelles that, had her heart not been
a particularly robust organ, it must have been
broken in pieces.

" I am afraid," said Jim, rather miserably, " I

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886 ARAMINTA

have been a bit of a cad for leading you on, you
great silly Goose."

Miss Ferry flung her arms about Jim's neck with
such force and suddenness that she nearly toppled
him backwards over a precipice.

" Jim/' she sobbed, " you m-must m-marry M-Muf-
fin."

As Jim was in the toils of a hug that almost for-
bade him to breathe, he was not able to reply imme-
diately.

^^ That Ragamuffin ! " said Jim, as soon as he was
able to do so.

*' She is such a s-sweet," sobbed Miss Perry.

*' You Groose ! " said Jim. " Give me a kiss, you
great Goose."

Miss Perry proceeded to do so.

^^ That Ragamuffin doesn't know about it, does
she?"

" Oh no," said Miss Perry. " Aunt Caroline said
she was not to."

" That is a wise old woman. Quite right for the
Ragamuffin not to know about it. She is too young.
Now dry those Eye Pieces, Goose Girl, and don't be
a siUy. Old man Cheriton is a very nice, kind,
fatherly old gentleman."

" He is a dear," said Miss Perry, with a loyalty
that Jim was forced to admire.

" You are really a very lucky Goose, you know,"
said Jim. " You will have a nice, kind old gentleman
to take you to parties and to the circus. He will give
Buszard a contract for the large size, see if he

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GOOD-BY 887

doesn't. And Dickie will get a living, see if he
doesn't; and Charley will go to Sandhurst. As for
Papa, you will be able to buy him the Oxford dic-
tionary ; Polly is as good as married to her parson ;
MiUy can go to a boarding-school at Brighton ; I am
absolutely confident that the Ragamuffin will have a
new mauve ; and as for Tobias, he wiU be able to live
in Grosvenor Square."

** Do you think so, Jim? " said Miss Perry, tear-
fully.

Jim Lascelles really covered himself with honor
that imhappy morning upon Gwydr. For it is due to
him to say that Aunt Caroline had knocked the bot-
tom out of his little world. He had been tumbled
out of his fool's paradise in such a ruthless fashion
that he really did not know how he was going to get
over the fall.

From his earliest youth he had had a sneaking
fondness for the Goose Girl. He had bled for her,
for one thing. And now that she had blossomed forth
into this gorgeous being who had conquered the town,
she had become so much a part of his fortunes that
he found it impossible to dissociate them from her.
The portrait he had painted of her had absorbed all
he had had to give. It could never have been wrought
imless something of her own magnificence had become
part of him. Such a picture was composed of the
living tissue of love. It was almost more than human
flesh and blood could endure to be told in a few blunt
words that the source of his inspiration must be a
sealed fountain from that time forth*

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888 ARAMINTA

However, he went through with his ordeal as well
as in him lay. Great had been his folly that he had
ever come to inhabit his paradise at all. And now
that he was tumbled out of it, it behoved him to see
that he made no cry over his bruises, if only because
that other foolish simpleton was striving not to cry
over hers.

The departure from the railway station at
Dwygyfy was a seemly affair. The Castle omnibus,
a contemporary of the Ark, brought Muffin in state.
She was accompanied, of course, by Polly's dress-
basket, marked ** M. P.'' in white letters on a black
ground ; and was also accompanied by Miss Burden,
Ponto, Lord Cheriton, and the dismal Goose. On the
way they picked up Jim and his mother and their
belongings, including the half -finished picture of The
Naiad.

Muffin herself was in high feather. For the first
time in her life she found herself a person of means
and position. Aunt Caroline had marked her esteem
for her character and conduct by presenting her with
a bank-note for ten pounds. Muffin, with that prac-
tical sagacity which always distinguished her inter-
course with the world, was at first very uncertain in
what manner to convey this royal gift to Slocum
Magna. Eventually she tore it in two pieces, placing
half in each stocking.

The Goose Girl behaved with signal bravery upon
the down platform at Dwygyfy. Jim wished at first
that she had not come. But she contrived to restrain
her feelings nobly, as of course was only to be ex-

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GOOD-BY 889

pected of a Wargrave, a family which had gone so
often to the scaffold. In consequence, they were able
to snatch a few brief, inexpressibly sad, yet tender
moments before the train arrived from Talyfaln.

'* You are a good and brave Goose,*' whispered
Jim, " and a lucky Goose too, you know. You must
come sometimes to see us humble suburban people, and
we will lay down a red carpet for you, and in every
way we will do our best. Because, you know, you
are going to be very grand.'*

** I don't want to be grand,*' said the Gk)ose Girl,
with whom tears were still very imminent.

" I have a great idea," said Jim. " Get old man
Cheriton to buy the Red House at Widdiford, and
then ask me and my old lady to come and stay with
you for a fortnight. We will give them such a roast-
ing at the Parsonage— especially that girl Polly —
as they have not had lately."

Somehow this scheme of Jim's seemed to infuse
a ray of hope in the forlorn heart of the Groose
Giri.

" Jim," said she in a thrilling voice, " perhaps
Lord Cheriton might buy the Red House for you and
Muffin."

" Or perhaps pigs might fly," said Jim.

** You wiU marry Muffin, won't you? P-r-romise
me, Jim, that you will."

" What is the good, you Goose, of my p-r-rommng
to marry the Ragamuffin? How do you suppose a
poor painting chap, who lives with his old mother at
Balham, can marry into a family with a real live

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890 ARAMINTA

countess in it? What do you suppose that girl Polly
would have to say upon the subject? "

This great idea, however, had insinuated itself into
the Goose Girl's slow-moving and tenacious mind, and
of course it stuck there.

" Jim," said she, just as the signal fell for the train
from Talyf aln, and the solemn conviction of her tone
was such that Jim hardly knew whether to laugh or
to shed tears, yet hardly liking in public to adopt
the latter course, decided in favor of the former;
** Jim," said she, " I am sure Muffin would love to
marry you. And she is such a swe^t. I shall write
to dearest papa about it."

Before Jim could make a fitting reply the train
from Talyf aln came snorting and rattling in with a
great display of unnecessary violence. Jim had to
look after the luggage, while Lord Cheriton, with his
accustomed gallantry, handed Jim's mother, her red
umbrella, and her French novel into a third-class com-
partment. Muffin personally supervised the installa-
tion of Polly's dress-basket into the luggage van,
and gave the porter twopence out of her chain purse.

" Gtet in, you Ragamuffin," said Jim, sternly, " or
else you will be left."

Muffin gave her sister, who was forlornly witness-
ing these operations, a final hug anH received one in
return. She was then handed with considerable cere-
mony into the OMnpartment which contained Mrs.
Lascelles.

Jim gave sixpence to the porter, and then had a
craving to kiss the Groose Girl, but did not quite know

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GOOD-BY 891

how to manage it, as the down platform at Dwygyfy
is such a public place. Therefore he had to be con-
tent with squeezing her hand.

" Now remember," was his parting injimction,
" you are a very lucky Goose Girl indeed. And your
papa and Folly and Milly and all of them are going
to be awfully proud of you. And if you forget the
Acacias at Balham, my old mother will never forgive
you."

As Jim came aboard Cheriton shook his hand with
real warmth.

" Good-by, Lascelles," said he. " I hope there will
be some entertaining at Cheriton House one of these
days. I hope I can count on you and your mother
to stand by me. And when the masterpiece is qvite
finished let me know and I wiU tell you what to do
with it."

The guard slammed the door and blew his whistle.
As the train moved off the window of the third-class
compartment was occupied by a wonderful yet sub-
stantial vision in mauve, waving affectionate farewells
to a group of three persons and a small dog as-
sembled on the platform. They all stood watching
it, until the sunlight was cheated suddenly of the
daffodil-colored mane gleaming from under the
Slocum Magna cucumber basket by the jaws of the
tunnel immediately outside Dwygyfy station, which is
two miles and a quarter in length.

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CHAPTER XXXI

DISINTEGRATION

FROM the moment that train steamed away from
Dwygyfy there was no more decent weather.
Day after day it thundered and lightened, it hailed
and it blew ; day after day it poured in torrents. For
a whole week Cheriton endured this distemper of the
Welsh climate, which according to Borrow is, in the
most favorable circumstances, of a very fickle char-
acter. His man Johnson then packed up his traps,
and the pair of them were spirited away upon an ex-
tremely inclement morning by the eleven-o'clock train.
Scotland was their destination. In that land of
cakes and heather were some old friends who set apart
September for playing bridge for moderate stakes
and for the shooting of grouse.

Of course before Cheriton went up to Scotland he
freely discussed his proposed matrimonial adventure
with the sagacious Caroline. She had not hesitated
to affirm that the man Lascelles had behaved like a
gentleman. It was only in extreme instances that she
felt called upon to make a statement of that kind.
It was a testimonial she did not give willingly, be-
cause in her opinion it was the highest there was to
bestow upon the members of the sex to which the man
Lascelles belonged.

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DISINTEGRATION 893

As became a man of leisure, Cheriton was very
leisurely in his methods. He did not propose to marry
Miss Perry until the spring. Caroline was inclined
to demur. She did not care to let the grass grow
under her feet. Cheriton might change his mind, or
a hundred things might happen. Stability at any
rate was not his forte.

" No, my dear Caroline,*' said a sagacity that was
in nowise less than her own, " the creature is a little
undeveloped at present to my mind. A few months
more of the great world in order that she may acquire
a deeper sense of the responsibilities of the position
will do her no harm. Besides spring, my dear Caro-
line, is the time for marriage. It is the vernal sea-
son. It is nature's own appointed wedding-day."

Caroline did not concur, of course. It only re-
mained for her, however, to acquiesce ungraciously.
Yet there was one thing she could do, and this she
did. She sent for her lawyer to have the terms of
the nuptial contract set out in form. Her old and
trusted legal adviser, Mr. Giles Grabham, of Messrs.
Pettigrew, Grabham, Grabham, and Horrobin, of
Old Square, Lincoln's Inn, spent two nights and a
day at Pen-y-Gros Castle, and placed the matter on
a comprehensive basis. Cheriton appeared to derive
a great deal of amusement from the whole proceed-
ing. However, he was prevailed upon to attach what
Mr. Grabham called ^* a provisional signature to the
memorandum."

Divers copies were engrossed of what Mr. Grabham
called ** the instrument," by the clerical staff of

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894 ARAMINTA

Messrs. Pettigrew, Grabham, Grabham, and Horro-
bin, one of which was duly forwarded to Lord Cher-
iton at Pen-y-Gros Castle, North Wales, two days
after his lordship's departure from the Principality.
It was accompanied by two others addressed to the
Coimtess of Crewkeme.

Upon the receipt of these documents Miss Perry
was commanded by Aunt Caroline to write to her
papa to explain the signal honor that had been con-
ferred upon her; and to inclose a copy of the deed
of settlement for his inspection, sanction, and signa-
ture. In obedience to this conmiand, with infinite
labor and difficulty and many tears. Miss Perry com-
posed the following : —

Papa Dearest, — Aunt Caroline desires me to

write to inform you that her old friend the Earl

of Cheriton has done m£ the honor of wishing

to marry me — that w, Papa Dearest^ if you have

no objection. Aunt Caroline desires me to say

that in her judgment there can be no possible

objection to Lord Cheriton, as he is very richy

his life has been worthy ^ and she has known him

herself personally for more than sixty years.

Aunt Caroline desires m£ to enclose this copy of

the deed of settlement^ which she hopes you wiU

approve and return to her with your signature.

With fondest love. Papa Dearest, and twelve

hisses, which I enclose xxxxxxxxxxxx. Believe me

to remain your most Dutiful and Affectionate

Daughter

^ Abamikta.

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DISINTEGRATION 896

P.S. Have you any objection to Muffin
marrying Jim Lascelles^ who used to live at the
Red House at Widdiford? It would be too
sweet.

The more formal part of this production had been
written to Aimt Caroline's dictation. She inspected
the finished performance grimly. The writing was
large and round and as transparently simple as Miss
Perry's own countenance, and it was blotted freely
with tears. In the fullest sense of the term it was a
human document, and as such Aunt Caroline de-
cided that it should be sent. Miss Perry was not the
first Wargrave who had been consigned to the scaf-
fold, and doubtless she would not be the last.

A week elapsed before a reply was received at
Pen-y-Gros Castle, and even then the copy of the deed
was not returned indorsed with the signature of the
Reverend Aloysius Perry. His commimication upon
the subject was as follows: —

My dear Daughter, — Your letter came to
me as a great surprise. Firstly^ I should like
to express to your Aunt Caroline the deep sense
of obligation we all feel under in regard to her,
not only in the matter of her very great kindness
to you personally, but also for the great kind-
ness and consideration she extended to Elizabeth
during her montVs sojourn at Pen-y-Gros
Castle. Elizabeth can/not find enough to say in
her praise.

Now in regard to yourself ^ my dear Araminta^

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896 ARAMINTA

whUe I recognize to the fvll the dazzling nature
of your prospects^ and I do not know in what
manner to thank your Aunt for her princely
suggestion^ I want you to believe, and I want
her to believe also, that I have no other thought
and no other desire than that whatever line of
action you embark upon shall lead to your ulti-
mate and permanent happiness. That abaoe
everything is what I desire. I have refrained
from attaching my signature to the deed of set-
tlement which your Aunt has been so kind as to
send to me, for while recognizing to the full her
large-hearted generosity and her redUy princely
mwniflcence, I shall like to have your own as-
surancCy my dear Daughter, that you are con-
sulting your own highest welfare and happiness
irrespective of that of anyone else. I trust
your Aunt wUl not consider me lacking in grati-
tude or in practical common sense. Please write
to me again upon the subject, and believe me to
remain your affectionate father^

Aloysius Febet.

Aunt Caroline snorted a good deal when she read
this letter. She declared it was so like a parson to
say a great deal more than he need in order. to ex-
press a great deal less than he ought. However, she
was perfectly ruthless upon the subject. Araminta
was ordered to allay the scruples of her father ; and
this the unhappy Goose Girl did, with many private
tears, to her aunt's dictation.

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DISINTEGRATION 897

In due course the document was returned with her
father's signature. Then she felt that indeed her
doom was sealed. She was a most docile and duteous
creature, and even Aunt Caroline admitted it; but
her appetite declined, her laughter lost its gayety,
her youth its cheerful irresponsibility, and life be-
came for her a heavy and listless routine.

Poor Jim Lascelles had his bad time too. He re-
turned to the Acacias with his mother, fully deter-
mined to maintain his tripartite role of a Lascelles, a
hero, and a gentleman. He determined to take the
superhuman course of acting as though the Goose
Girl had no place in his life whatever.

Alas for the vanity of human resolves ! The first
thing he did upon his return home was to take the
key of his studio off the sitting-room chimney-piece in
order to bestow a few final touches upon a work which
by now was hardly in need of them. He deluded him-
self with the idea that the task was imposed in cold
blood in order that he might prove to himself how
strong he was, and that by the mere exercise of the
will the image of the peerless original could be cut
away from the living tissue of his thoughts.

Alas! it could not be done. Jim Lascelles failed
dismally to assert the mind's dominion. A strange
excitement overtook him, and for several days he
worked in quit€f a frenzy of enthusiasm, modifying
this, painting out that, enhancing the other. It was
a dangerous kind of solace. He performed surpris-
ing feats, it is true; his color grew more and more
audacious, only to be harmonized marvelously, but

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898 ARAMINTA

he could not sleep at night. He came down to brf^k-
f ast haggard and wild-eyed, and looking a degree
more unstable than when he had retired in the small
hours of the morning.

He had determined to withhold from his mother
the true state of the case. But he had hopelessly
underrated the flair of the genus. Very soon she
had the truth out of him; and, without letting Jim
see her concern, she grew alarmed for him. Yet she
could confess to no surprise. From the first she had
foreseen that this was a turn the thing must take al-
most inevitably. Had it not been Lord Cheriton, it
must have been another. For the Groose, notwith-
standing her limited capacity, was an absurdly regal
creature; one of those oddly compounded, solemn,
unaspiring masterpieces designed by nature for a
gorgeous frame, who by a kind of inalienable right
command a splendid destiny.

Jim's mother blamed herself, as mothers are so apt
to do, although she really had no part in Jim's mis-
fortune. She had merely lent a kind of whimsical
countenance to the young fellow's ambitions, in order
primarily to give him a zest in his work. The con-
sequences entailed by the acquisition of that zest bade
fair to become melancholy; but in any case the re-
sponsibility for laying the mine was not hers, any
more than it was Cheriton's for applying the
match.

^^ K it had not been one, laddie," said Mrs. Las-
celles, philosophically, " it would have been the other.
Had I prophesied;, I should have said that destiny

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DISINTEGRATION 899

would have made her a duchess. But either way, I
don't thmk it matters. I feel sure that Lord Cher-
iton will be very good to her, although there is little
consolation in that."

Precious little consolation, in Jim's opinion. By
the time October came he was worn to a shade, and
the masterpiece was finally completed. His mother
was alarmed for him then. She suggested a voyage
to Spain and a visit to the Prado, in order that he
might pay homage at the shrine of the great Velas-
quez. The suggestion was a good one, but unfor-
tiuiately it did not come within the range of practical
politics. They had both spent all their money. Mrs.
Lascelles had overdrawn her meager allowance, and
Jim was in debt.

" Tell Lord Cheriton his picture is complete, and
dun him for the price of it.".

** No, old lady," said Jim, with a sad shake of the
head ; " we have to look to what we can raise on that
little work to keep a roof over our heads during the
winter."

His mother showed a most resolute optimism.

" Lay out every penny of the money on a visit to
Spain," said she. " Velasquez will inspire you. You
will return with a cubit added to your stature ; you
will finish The Naiad triumphantly, and, once you
have done that, you will have convinced the world
you can paint."

" And in the meantime, old lady, what about the
rintf " said Jim.

" Oh, that," said his mother, airily — " that can

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400 ARAMINTA

take care of itself. Besides, I dreamt last night that
the publishers had accepted * The Fair Immortal.' "

"That is not quite the same thing, senora, as
receiving a check for it," said Jim, gloomily.

It would seem, however, that Providence was keep-
ing its eye on the Acacias. For the very next morn-
ing brought a solution of the difficulty. The marquis
wrote from Yorkshire to suggest that during the fol-
lowing week, if convenient to himself, Mr. Lascelles
should come to Bame Moor, as previously arranged,
to paint the fair Priscilla.

It appeared that in the stress of circumstance both
Jim and his mother had forgotten the Yorkshire
marquis and the fair Priscilla.

*^ And it means a cool five hundred, too," said Jim,
with a little pardonable exultation. ** The terms are
already arranged, thanks to that old sportsman who
is the oddest mixture of a human being I have ever
met."

And then Jim gave a groan, for he remembered
that it was upon the strength of this important com-
mission he had made up his mind to take the plunge
with the G<K)se Girl. The next moment he was curs-
ing himself because his upper lip was so flabby.

" You will never be the least use in this world,
James Lascelles, my son," was the burden of his
reflections, " if you can't learn to take a facer or two.
Every time they knock you down you have got to
come up smiling, or you will certainly never be a
Velasquez."

Mrs. Lascelles was overjoyed by the providential

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DISINTEGRATION 401

letter from Yorkshire. She blessed the marquis and
all his acres. She insisted that Jim should write by
the next post to announce his intention of coming to
Barne Moor on the following Monday. And, in order
that there should be no possible doubt about the mat-
ter, she put on her hat, although it was raining hard,
and sallied forth to the stationer's shop at the comer
of Chestnut Road and invested one of her few re-
maining sixpences in Bradshaw's Guide.

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CHAPTER XXXII

BABNE MOOB

ABOUT tea-time on the following Monday Jim
^ Lascelles found himself at Barne Moor. The
house was a bleak upstanding place in the north of
Yorkshire. It was in a fold of the moors, and, al-
though its size was impressive, it was architecturally
hideous.

Jim had been very unhappy all the way up from
London. The change of locale^ however, raised his
spirits a little. The contemplation of the five hun-
dred pounds and a period of definite employment did
something to help him also. And hardly had he set
foot in the house than a great surprise was in store
for him.

Almost the first person he saw was the Gk)ose Girl.
She had been out with the guns, and was now con-
suming tea and hot buttered cakes. It was nearly
six weeks since they had parted in Wales. In that
period each had changed. With his artist's eye Jim
could not help noticing that she was still the elemental
creature of the Devonshire lanes. Her candor and
simplicity were not less than they were, but some-
where in her was a kind of reserved inclosure, an ex-
panse of deep feeling hidden away, which only those
who held her secret would ever be able to discover.

*^ Digitized by Vn WV^ V lAL

BARNE MOOR 403

Perhaps Jim Lascelles was glad to notice it. It
did honor to the slow-witted immobile creature, and
it did honor to him. Yes, she was true blue. There
was nothing in her words and very little in the man-
ner of her greeting to suggest that a creature so
primitive as herself had this reserved space in her.
She was just as she always was, and yet at her first
words of greeting Jim knew that she was much more.

"Why, it's Jim!'* she exclaimed in just the old
way; and putting her cake in her saucer, she said,
^^ I can't shake hands with you, Jim, because my
fingers are all over butter."

Jim hardly knew whether to rejoice at her pres-
ence or to be dismayed by it.

" Why, Goose Girl," said he, " whoever could have
thought of seeing you here? "

" Aunt Caroline is here," said she, *' and Miss
Burden, and Lord Cheriton too."

" How strange that we should meet again like
this ! " said Jim, rather lamely.

Yet it was scarcely so strange as Jim thought it
was. Aunt CaroUne, in spite of her years and her
increasingly difficult temper, still had certain houses
open to her, and Barne Moor-was one of them. Her
store of energy was by no means exhausted ; she liked
still to keep in the world, to know what was doing;
and she liked her rubber. It would not, perhaps, be
strictly true to say that she was welcome at Barne
Moor, but when Wales began to bore her she reso-
lutely turned her face in that direction, because she
knew that at that time Yorkshire would contain a

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404 ARAMINTA

choice collection of her friends and her enemies, and
would be infinitely more diverting than Pen-y-Gros
Castle or London itself in the absence of Parliament.

At Bame Moor Jim of course was a nobody, and
was treated as such. His hostess, who was of the
strain of the former Whig oligarchy, like so many
to be found under that ample roof, was not so much
exclusive as she was indifferent to those outside the
circle. She was a ponderous, neutral kind of woman,
who bullied her husband and had very definite views
about religion. From the first Jim Lascelles did not
find her in the last easy to get on with. It must be
confessed that he did not try to get on with her
particularly.

Still, during the time Jim spent at Bame Moor
things did not go amiss. The Goose Girl was still
the child of nature she had always been. The old
woman of Hill Street was reasonably civil; quite as
civil, in fact, as Jim expected her to be. Miss
Burden, in a curiously delicate manner, showed that
she understood the tragedy. As for Cheriton, who
was an old friend of the house, and for some reason
high in the esteem of everybody, he extended the
same genial kindness to him that he had always done.

The only other of Jim's acquaintances among the
score or so people that were gathered under the hos-
pitable roof of Bame Moor was George Betterton.
No announcement had yet been made upon the sub-
ject, but it was common knowledge that " an ar-
rangement*' was likely to be forthcoming with a
daughter of the house.

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BARNE MOOR 406

Jim Lascelles supposed that " the old sportsman "
knew his own business best, but he rather hoped that
** it wouldn't come off." In Jim's opinion " George
was a genuine fellow," and Jim personally had not
the least admiration for the fair Priscilla. For one
thing he had to paint her to order ; and that of course
did not tell in her favor with the temperament of
genius.

She had not the least sense of pose. She was just
a wooden sort of Englishwoman, as neutral as her
mother, who clipped her g's and powdered her nose,
with dull red hair and pale green eyes, who took very
little interest in anything or anybody. But she shot
well and rode well, and went to church twice on
Sunday.

She sat half a dozen times, and the rising artist did
what he could with her. Jim's special talent lay in
his color and his sense of values. He used the dark
oak of the gloomy old library for his background,
and he painted Priscilla's hair a warm and glowing
Titian color, with a striking and distinguished pallor
for the face ; and for the eyes a shade of blue which
was extremely daring but successful. The picture
in its style and its distinction was absurdly unlike
Priscilla herself; yet somehow it was sufficiently like
her to pass muster with those who cared more for
Priscilla than they did for her counterfeit present-
ment.

About the fifth day of Jim's sojourn Cheriton an-
nounced that the picture of Priscilla was going to
turn out very fine. He exhorted Kendal publicly to

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406 ARAMINTA

send it to the next Royal Academy, and complimented
him upon having had the foresight and good sense
to obtain the man of the future to do the work. The
bullet-headed Yorkshireman was pleased, of course,
since every bullet-headed Yorkshireman likes to be
complimented on his foresight and good sense by an
acknowledged expert.

" I wonder if he would paint my wife," said Mr.
Crosby of the Foreign Office.

" You can ask him, my dear fellow," said the
expert.

** Would he want a stiff figure? " said Mr. Crosby,
who had a very practical mind.

" It would cost you a cool thousand, I dare say,"
said Cheriton, before Kendal could announce that it
had cost him five hundred.

" Stiff, ain't it, for an unknown man? " said Mr.
Crosby.

** He is going to be the man, my dear fellow," said
Cheriton. " What do you say, Caroline? You have
seen some of his work."

** I agree with you, Cheriton," said the flattered
Caroline, who knew as much about pictures as Ponto
did. " He has painted two of my nieces, and in my
opinion they are excellent likenesses."

*'Have you two nieces, Caroline? " said the Mar-
quis. " That is interesting. When are we to have
the opportunity of seeing the other one? "

** Next season — ^perhaps."

As yet there had been no formal announcement of
Cheriton's engagement, but it was known to many.

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BARNE MOOR 407

It is true that those who were best acquainted with
him maintained an attitude of incredulity. So many
times in the past had there been talk of entertaining
at Cheriton House. Yet there was a consensus of
opinion that he really meant to settle down at last ;
and while all disinterested people could not fail to
admire his taste, the critical were a little inclined to
doubt his wisdom. Still, there was no doubt about the
beauty and the docility of his choice, and in her
quaint way she had unmistakably the bel air. She
was a good honest girl, a Wargrave, and the old
woman of Hill Street could well afford to do some-
thing in the matter. Still, the knowing ones " could
not see it at all"; those who were not so knowing
thought that " Cheriton might have done worse."

All the same. Miss Perry was famous and she was
popular. Her simplicity was something that was
growing very rare; she was unaffectedly good to
everybody, and everybody could not help being grate-
ful to her for her goodness, because it sprang
straight from the heart. No matter whether people
were important or unimportant, it made no difference
to her. Great beauty and an absolute friendliness
which is extended to all, which keeps the same
gracious smile for the odd man about the stables that
it has for the wearer of the Garter, will go far to-
wards the conquest of the world.

Miss Ferry had conquered her world. All agreed
that Cheriton had done well. Yet the creature was
not in the least happy. So much practice, however,
had the Wargraves had in the course of the centuries

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408 ARAMINTA

in dissembling their unhappiness and in offering their
heads to the block, that only four persons were able
to suspect that a brave, smiling, and bountiful ex-
terior concealed a broken heart.

Jim Lascelles was one. He knew for certain. Miss
Burden was another. Caroline Crewkeme was no
believer in broken hearts. For one thing, she had
never had a heart of any sort to break. But she had
seen those great damp splotches on the correspond-
ence with her father, she had noticed that the crea-
ture's appetite was not what it was; and there were
half a dozen other symptoms that enabled her to put
two and two together. As for the fourth person, it
was Cheriton himself. He was a man of immense
practical sagacity. The LasceUes affair was per-
fectly familiar to him in all its bearings. He him-
self was primarily responsible for it. And none knew
better than did he that youth will be served.

During Jim's stay at Bame Moor, Cheriton went
out of his way to show him consideration. He be-
haved like a habitually courteous and broad-minded
man of the world, who, so to speak, knew the whole
alphabet of life, and if necessary could repeat it
backwards.

" You have no right to be here, my dear fellow,"
he said tacitly to Jim Lascelles ; ** but since my York-
shire friend, Kendal, has blundered, as (me's York-
shire friends generally do, and you find yourself in
the wrong galley, behave just as you would under
ordinary circumstances, and, if you have the courage,
take up the parable more or less where you left it*

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BARNE MOOR 409

After all, you were brought up together, and I am
only an interloper, and an old one at that.'*

It was bold and it was generous of Cheriton to
take this course. But the young fellow Lascelles had
behaved so well that he was bound to respect him.
And he had a genuine liking for him too. Therefore
he raised no objection to their spending long hours
upon the moors with only one another for company,
while he gossiped and shot birds, and fribbled and
idled away his time indoors among more mature
persons.

Still, it was trying Jim Lascelles somewhat highly.
The test was a severer one than perhaps Cheriton
knew. For Jim was confident that he had only to
speak the word for the Goose Girl to marry him by
special license at Bame Moor parish church. Once,
indeed, they found themselves in it, since the Goose .
Girl was by way of being a connoisseur in churches ;
and they had a pleasant and instructive conversation
with the vicar.

However, all's well that ends well, as Shakespeare
informs us. Jim Lascelles did not obtain a special
license, but returned to his mother like a good son
and, shall we say, a man of honor. For it would have
been such a fatally easy and natural thing to marry
the Groose Girl at Bame Moor parish church. If you
came to think about it, why should she be offered for
sacrifice? Dickie, of course, would be able to go to
Sandhurst, and Milly would be able to go to the
boarding school ; but all the same, it was desperately
hard on the Goose Girl.

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CHAPTER XXXIII

evertthino for the best in the best of
aljm possible worlds

JIM LASCELLES returned to Balham exactly
nine days after he had left that friendly but
uninspired suburb. He had worked hard during his
absence in Yorkshire ; the picture of the fair Priscilla
had made excellent progress, and there was a check
for five hundred pounds in prospect on completion.
Further, by the interest and undoubted talent for
commerce of his friend Lord Cheriton, Mr. Crosby of
the Foreign Office had been induced to rise to seven
hundred and fifty pounds for the portrait of Mrs.
Crosby and her children.

So far as the things of this world were concerned,
Jim really returned to his mother in high feather.
The progress he was making in his profession he felt
was out of all proportion to his talent. But it is a
great thing to have a friend at court. So much is
done in that way. It is not always the best picture,
or the best oratorio, or the best play, or the best novel
that makes the most guineas in the market-square.
It is one thing to create a masterpiece, and it is €tn-
other to translate it into pounds, shillings, and pence.
There can be no doubt that Jim Lascelles had made
amazing strides in his art; but all the same, he was

410

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 411

a lucky fellow to have a man like Cheriton to go
round with a bell to call the attention of the picture-
buying public to the quality of his work.

Jim Lascelles would have been less than human
had he not been immensely grateful to Cheriton. And
yet he would not have been human either had he not
hated him very sorely. After all, what is the use of
material prosperity if the man who confers it upon
you robs you of the only girl in the world you feel
you will ever be able to marry? Certainly he would
now have the means to buy his mother a new frock or
so in order to deprive her of her favorite excuse for
not looking older. But life, even with professional
success, was going to be a hollow business.

However, Jim Lascelles contrived in this crisis to
behave with a discretion that was very creditable to
his character. He had gone down to the depths of
late, and, as is often the case with such divers in deep
seas, he had brought up a few pearls. One of these
was resolution. He finished the picture of Priscilla
out of hand and drew his check; and although the
season was November, he paid several visits to Eaton
Square and did his best for Mrs. Crosby and her
youthful family. And ever and anon he took his
courage in his hands and spent an hour in further
devotion to the masterpiece that was to make him
famous.

It was not until early in January that Jim Las-
celles made the announcement to his patron that the
portrait of Miss Perry was complete. Thereupon
quite a number of people interested in art f oimd their

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412 ARAMINTA

way to the Acacias. They were by no means unani-
mous in their opinion regarding its intrinsic merit,
but they all agreed that it was bound to prove one
of the sensations of the year.

** An extraordinarily clever fake," said a critic of
the fine arts privately.

" Mr. Lascelles," said a dealer, " I should like you
to give me an option on all the work you produce dur-
ing the next five years. I feel sure I could sell it."

" We have a new Gainsborough here," said a third
person, who spoke in an unofficial capacity, " and
that is all there is to be said about it."

About the end of the month Cheriton himself
appeared, duly armed with expert opinion, to see for
himself. He was accompanied by Miss Burden and
his -jiancSej who was looking thin and unhappy. It
was a beautiful day for the time of year ; and in re-
gard to his appearance, the happy wooer was as
fastidious as usual. Never had he seemed more fault-
less in his attire or more scrupulously paternal in his
demeanor. He looked long at the masterpiece, and
he looked particularly.

" Lascelles, my good fellow," said he, " I am forced
to arrive at one conclusion. If you were to paint a
thousand pictures, this is something you will never
surpass."

" Why do you think so? " said Jim.

" Because, my dear fellow, there is growth in it.
You began it a callow stripling ; you have finished it,
shall I say, a strong man in the plenitude of his
power. I have watched you and the picture grow

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 418

together from month to month. It is given to no
man to do that sort of thing twice."

Jim Lascellesj however, was a robust young fel-
low — at least, it was his ideal to be so. He was apt
to be on his guard against high-flown sentiment, yet
he knew that Cheriton had spoken the truth.

" You are right," he said simply. *' That can-
vas has got all I have or all I ever shall have. I
am older now than when I began it, and I hope I'm
wiser."

" Not wiser really, my dear fellow ; we never get
wiser. But you have f oimd yourself. A great career
lies before you."

" You may be right," said Jim, " or you may not
be right, but either way it doesn't matter."

Cheriton inspected the young fellow with the
greatest coolness and impartiality. There was no
mistaking that the words were tragic. Cheriton's
penetration declared them to be so. He took some
little time for reflection, and then he slowly drew a
check out of his pocket-book with an air that was
really unfathomable.

" There must be no misunderstanding, Lascelles,"
said he, with an air that was brisk and businesslike.
" There is every reason to believe that the picture of
Miss Perry will prove a valuable property. But at
the same time, I hold your promise that I may pur-
chase it on my own terms. Is not that the case? "

" It is. Lord Cheriton," said Jim, with indifference.

" I hope the bargain I drove with you may not
prove too hard," said Cheriton, with an enigmatic

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414 ARAMINTA

smile that Jim Lascelles took not the least pains to
fathom. ^ But if I may say so, your conduct in al-
lowing me to drive such a bargain was curiously in-
judicious. For everybody tells me that your picture
is magnificent."

^^I don't think it matters," said Jim, who was
looking tired. ^^ Although one is glad you like it, of
course."

*' It must always be pleasant to the artist to have
his work admired. My own comment upon your work
is this. I hope, my dear fellow, you will be able to
forgive its extravagance."

As he spoke he gave the check to Jim Lascelles.
The painter, however, paid no heed to it at first. His
instinct was to crush it in his hands and fling it away,
so repugnant was the piece of paper to the touch.
Now that the time had come to part with the
sole remaining solace he possessed, he felt imable to
yield it.

This, however, was a weakness he must not indulge.
He looked at the paper perfunctorily, and then he
gave a little exclamation. The check was made out
in his favor for ten thousand pounds.

" I don't understand," said Jim. " Is there not
some mistake? "

" You must constrain your modesty a little, that
is all," said Cheriton. " People tell me it will be
worth every penny of this simi to the next genera-
tion. It is pleasant sometimes to anticipate the ver-
dict of posterity."

Jim Lascelles did not know how to act or what

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 416

to say. In his judgment this was the most Quixotic
proceeding he had ever encountered.

" Really, Lord Cheriton/' he said, " I don't feel
that there are sufficient grounds upon which I can
accept such a sum as this.''

" A bargain is a bargain," said Cheriton. " I hold
your promise that I am to purchase the picture on
my own terms."

In the flood tide of his bewilderment Jim Lascelles
had perforce to remain silent.

" Don't forget, my dear Lascelles, that the highest
pleasure that is given to any man is to adopt the role
of Maecenas. And are you aware that the Red
House at Widdiford is in the market, and that six
thousand pounds will purchase it? "

Jim flinched a little. A deep flush overspread his
face. This was sacred ground, upon which it be-
hoved the outside world to tread warily.

" I hope you don't mean that the Red House at
Widdiford means nothing to you? "

Jim was not proof against the assault.

** I'm not sure that it does," he said miserably.

" I wouldn't be too sure about that if I were you."

Jim began to look decidedly fierce. In spite of
the check for ten thousand pounds, which he viewed
as somewhat in the nature of a mockery, he showed
no disposition to be baited.

" Perhaps it would be wise. Lord Cheriton, not to
pursue the subject."

Cheriton laughed outright at the solemnity of the
yoimg fellow's manner.

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416 ARAMINTA

" On the contrary," said he, " one feels that the
subject of the Red House at Widdiford should be
discussed at length. Miss Perry and I have been
over to look at the old place before completing the
purchase."

** Ah ! that is interesting," said Jim, who was more
bewildered than ever.

" It seems that, in addition to its other lures, the
Red House at Widdiford has peaches in season."

" Of course it has," said Jim, who was beginning
to feel that Cheriton was making a rather long ex-
cursion in the realms of bad taste.

" Well, my dear fellow, I put it to you — ^what is
the use of having peaches in season if one has not
the appetite to eat them?"

" What, indeed ! " said Jim.

** And again, my dear fellow — ^what, pray, is the
use of giving Buszard a contract for the large size
when cream buns lose their savor.? "

Jim made no reply, but merely looked miserable.

" Let me tell you in confidence, Lascelles," said his
patron, in a becomingly low tone, " that even the
circus has begun to pall. And as for Joseph Wright
of Derby, the question of his permanent merit is be-
ginning to appear almost a matter of indifference.
Do you feel competent to give advice in regard to
what ought to be done? "

" I am afraid I don't. Lord Cheriton," said Jim,
rather feebly.

" That is disappointing, for in the past you have
shown such a surprising fertility of ideas and re-

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 417

sources. The problem is so serious. Can one con-
ceive a world in which cream buns have no savor,
circuses no glamor, and in which the Joseph Wrights
of Derby are allowed to ruffle it unquestioned among
their betters? Frankly, the feat is beyond me, Las-
celles. And then, too, my dear fellow, the news that
Muffin is to have a new mauve from London to wear
in the spring has excited hardly any enthusiasm."

" Indeed? " said Jim.

" That is so, I assure you. And to my mind, that
is not the least sinister symptom. I have conferred
with the wise woman of Hill Street, and during my
sojourn in the west country also with the presiding
genius of Slocum Magna. And after some discussion
of the pros and cons of the situation, for mon pire
and ma tante do not appear to see eye to eye in all
things, we are at last in agreement that something
ought to be done to restore the savor to the best
confectionery, and also to insure that no upstart
shall occupy without question the same kind of
fauteuU as Rembrandt and Velasquez. The result
of our deliberations is, my dear fellow, that we have
come to the conclusion that you are the man to help
us."

" I ! " said Jim, impotently.

" Have you any objection to undertaking such a
scheme of philanthropy ? "

" If I could do anything to add to Miss Perry's
happiness," said Jim, " I should be just about the
proudest chap in the world."

** Well, it seems, my dear fellow, that you can do

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418 ARAMINTA

so. At least, that is the opinion that has been arrived
at by the experts who have commimed over her case."

Jim's heart beat painfully.

" Tell me what I can do," he said rather hoarsely,
" for the best, the truest-hearted, the most absolutely
genuine girl in the world."

" You can marry her."

" Marry her? " said Jim, weakly.

** Yes, in the afternoon of April the First, at
Saint Sepulchre's Church."

" But " said Jim.

"The oracle of Hill Street thinks the First of
June is preferable, because there will be more people
in town, and the presents are likely to be more numer-
ous. But personally I agree with Mrs. Lascelles and
mon pere that April is as good a time as any other
for visiting the Prado."

" But " said Jim.

" I forget the inn I stayed at when I was last at
Madrid. It was * El ' Something, and for some ob-
scure reason it had no aspirate. But one Ford is
the authority for Spain, although, to be sure, a cer-
tain Borrow wrote a famous work upon the subject.
By the way, we must not overlook one important
argument in favor of June."

" What is it? " said Jim, mechanically.

" It is hardly right to expect a new mauve to make
its dSbut on the First of April. Yet there seems no
help for it. No ceremony could possibly be consid-
ered complete without it."

" Am I to imderstand ? " said Jim, who

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stopped with ridiculous abruptness right in the mid-
dle of his question.

** By the way, my dear fellow, I have taken the
liberty of suggesting to your accomplished mother
that it might help her literary career if she moved a
little nearer to the center. A little flat in Knights-
bridge might be a judicious investment. As you may
be aware, publishers as a race are highly susceptible,
and an address in Knightsbridge might favorably
impress them."

" Do you think so? '' said Jim, who did not know
in the least what he was saying.

But there is really no reason to persist in this
history. In spite of scruples, which were as much
due to pride as to generosity, Jim Lascelles married
the Goose Girl at Saint Sepulchre's Church on the
First of April. On that significant occasion the pre-
siding genius of Hill Street displayed an amount of
Christian feeling which, in the opinion of a contem-
porary, was without parallel in his experience.

The entire family of Slocum Magna, including
Milly, whose pigtail was the color of a yellow chrys-
anthemum, and was tied with a ribbon, came up to
London and stayed a whole week at Morley's Hotel.
Among other things, they all went one day to see the
Exhibition, and found there wasn't one. Papa dined
twice in Hill Street, and met dukes and people ; and
he brought back the report that Aunt Caroline was
less worldly than he had feared she was. He gave his
daughter away on the glorious First; and Muffin
wore her new mauve on that occasion. In the opinion

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420 ARAMINTA

of all qualified persons it was quite as successful as
the peerless original. Polly, who took after her papa,
and had more intellect than all the rest of the family
put together, Dickie and Doggo included, looked
charmingly proper in a " costume " more reticent
than Muffin's. Her young man assisted the Dean of
Dunstable, the uncle of the bride, in performing the
ceremony.

Jim Lascelles and the Goose Girl spent a month in
the land of Cervantes and Velasquez. They are liv-
ing now at the Red House at Widdiford. Jim is
quite likely to be elected to an Associateship of the
Royal Academy before long. At least, he is getting
very good prices for his work, and his " Miss Perry "
has been esteemed a rare triumph for British art.
His " Naiad " also, purchased by the Chantrey Be-
quest, has been generally and justly admired.

The accomplished mother of the rising artist took
the disinterested advice of a well-wisher, and a fort-
night after her son's brilliant marriage — the Morn-
ing Mirror described it as such — she left " P.P.C."
cards on the Miss Champneys at the Chestnuts, and
moved " nearer to the center." It may have been
coincidence, or it may have been cause and effect,
but within a fortnight of her installation at No. 5,
Beaufort Mansions, W., " The Fair Immortal " was
accepted on a royalty by an eminent firm of publish-
ers, and made its appearance in the course of the
summer. It won such unanimous approval from the
Press and the public, that it can now be purchased
for sixpence of any self-respecting bookseller in the

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 421

United Kingdom ; its fortunate authoress has signed
contracts for work for the next three years and has
been elected a member of three of the best ladies'
clubs in the metropolis.

Muffin's season at Hill Street was an even greater
triumph than her sister's — but thereby hangs a tale
for a wet afternoon. Aunt Caroline, in spite of her
advanced years, is worth " a good many dead ones "
at present, and in the opinion of her oldest friend
her manner has more amenity. Perhaps it is that
the influence of youth has been a good one in her
life. It is right to think so since there is no reason
to believe that she has altered her opinion of the
clergy.

Polly has not yet married her parson, but she is
certain to do so. Serious people, however, "make-
haste slowly," as the wise Italians say. It is well that
they should. Charley has found his way to Sand-
hurst all right, and feels himself to be a field-marshal
already. Dickie has lately been presented to a living
worth eleven hundred a year — a really preposterous
emolument, considering the widespread depression in
things ecclesiastical. However, in justice to Dickie,
it should be stated that he was always quietly con-
fident that something would come of his left-arm
bowKng. And so it ought if you break both
ways.

Milly has been two terms already at her Brighton
boarding school. In the opinion of her mistresses
she is the best inside right at hockey on the South
Coast. If she is not chosen to play against Wales

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422 ARAMINTA

in the forthcoming international match she will be
much disappointed.

Entertaining at Cheriton House is still to seek.
The thing threatens to become a national scandal.
Comparisons, highly unfavorable to the present peer,
are being constantly drawn by convinced free-f ooders
and the praisers of past times. The noble earl,
however, is fully occupied at present in steering a
course between the Scylla of Hill Street on the one
hand, and the Charybdis of No. 5, Beaufort Man-
sions on the other. The presiding genius of the
former locality, however, defines a coxcomb as a per-
son who never means anything. Still, it doesn't do
to be too sure in these days.

As an instance of the need for honest doubt, George
Betterton did not lead the fair Priscilla to the altar
after all. The world understood that a religious dif-
ference was the rock which sundered them. Whether
George had too little religion and Priscilla had too
much, is one of those things that has never been
elucidated clearly. But, beyond all shade of contro-
versy, they were never brought to the question.
Priscilla made quite a good marriage, all the same.
As for Greorge — ^well, what really happened to him is
a story for one of those typical English afternoons
in which it is really not fit for a dog to be out.
People say that Greorge is much improved lately.

In conclusion, we feel bound to record our opinion
that it is gravely to be doubted whether Jim Lascelles
will make as great a painter as Velasquez. Consid-
ering his youth, his attainments, and his temper, we

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EVERYTHING FOR THE BEST 428

were among those who predicted a high destiny for
the young fellow, but that was before " the wicket
rolled out so plumb." Authorities upon the subject
are not slow to inform us, however, that it is better
to marry the girl you want to, and to live at the Red
House at Widdiford, and be a county magistrate,
and to have a couple of expensive sons in the Services,
and to have your girls dressed by Redfern and pre-
sented at Court, than to appear on a pedestal by
public subscription in front of the National Gallery
three centuries after you have ceased to take an in-
terest in the verdict of posterity.

Qtu)t homines tot sententice. These wiseacres may
be right, or they may not be right. It is only the
Caroline Crewkernes who are Infallible.

THE END

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